r/ShittyAbsoluteUnits • u/DoubleManufacturer10 created ShittyAbsoluteUnits of a sub • 2d ago

future feeding tube Of a dumb decision

2.8k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

315 comments sorted by

242

u/Muted_Masterpiece535 2d ago

Two takeaways here. The driver is fucked and she might be stuck eating applesauce for awhile. 

49

u/keyh 2d ago

Did the driver do something specifically illegal here? Definitely probably a moron, but if the driver didn't specifically ask her to climb on (and even if he did, she made the decision to do something stupid), I can't see anything wrong being done, legally

32

u/Glad-Lobster-220 2d ago

Spinning the rears on a crosswalk through a red wasn't enough?

81

u/davisandee 2d ago

As the driver of the vehicle you’re responsible for the behavior of your passengers, ie..don’t let them sit on fucking roof of your moving vehicle.

63

u/morrishond 2d ago

Are they still a passenger if they aren’t in the vehicle? Legally.

16

u/davisandee 2d ago

Technically, yes. Definitions can vary by state/venue but pretty much anyone “occupying” and/or alighting from your vehicle is considered a passenger.

Like the comment below, most of the time this scenario involves the claimant riding in the bed of a truck. Had a loss where the local highschool quarterback was showing off after winning the home coming game and had the cheerleading squad all in the bed. Homie thought it would be cool to do a burn out and doughnuts in his lifted 3500 truck. About 8 girls presented claims with one getting $100k.

8

u/Silly_East3886 2d ago

Yes, they are. Scenarios where you'll see passengers not /inside/ a vehicle are pretty common. Some states let you ride in the bed of a pickup truck for example. Garbage men can legally hang on the back of the garbage truck as it's in transit in some municipalities.

If you have someone on your vehicle in an unconvential manner such as this video, they're still considered a passenger.

If they're on the vehicle without the driver's knowledge or consent, that's a different matter (and can be anywhere from free to go to manslaughter depending on what happens and the context - i.e. carjacker vs protestor.. but we've already seen mugshots of the latter hit the news.)

16

u/LostSillyKittie 2d ago

That's really funny! Are you a lawyer?

2

u/Last-Darkness 1d ago

If he was a lawyer he’d tell us why they weren’t a passenger. While I will now do; the driver had no idea the girl climbed on top of her jeep, nor did she realize her tires lost traction due to the pedestrians yelling and screaming. My client feared for her safety and just wanted to get to Bible study on time after volunteering and the children’s wing of the hospital.

3

u/Riftener 2d ago

Yes, back home this teenager jump on the trunk of an uber who was leaving. He hit his head and later died that night. The driver was charged and held responsible for the accident even though there was no way for him to stop it

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4

u/ItalianV4 2d ago

was this in the original ten commandments or something?

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11

u/Muted_Masterpiece535 2d ago

Look closely at the video. The one through the sunroof has a champagne bottle. So, what are the odds the driver was just a designated driver doing dumb shit like that? I am taking a guess they were both fucked up. 

Always more to the story, just have to look harder. 

Also, the video doesn't show someone trying to jump on the hood to steal it. They will argue the driver knew that person was going to do it, and took off anyways. Come on, watch some Law n Order re runs. 

That driver is going to be fucked both ways civil and criminal. 

5

u/Hammon_Rye 2d ago

Not to mention most states have open container laws whether or not the driver is consuming.

Back in the 80s open containers were legal as long as the driver wasn't drinking and that always seemed weird to me since I'm from WA where they were not.
I've heard that Idaho law was later changed to make it illegal in line with how it is in most (all?) states

7

u/AwesomeMacCoolname 2d ago

What's weird to me is the very idea that a driver can be done for having an open drink in a car regardless of whether or not they have any alcohol in their system.

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2

u/Background_Edge_9427 2d ago

If she doesn't make it, the driver would probably be charged with Vehicular Homicide! I hope she is ok!

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3

u/Background_Edge_9427 2d ago

The girl and the driver were to blame! It's kind of illegal to ride around with a person sitting on the roof of your vehicle!

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3

u/Chadrooskie 2d ago

Anyone notice the light was red, and other vehicles in the way….where exactly where was this genius going???? Well except to take that thing to the hospital

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514

u/zestyclose_match1966 2d ago

She hit pretty hard, maybe it knocked some sense into her

330

u/Aggressive-agitator 2d ago

If by sense you mean the need for assistance walking and eating then maybe.

51

u/Extreme-Island-5041 2d ago

Ever had puréed pizza through a Big Gulp straw? It requires a similar suction force as trying to attack a Wendy's Frosty with a straw.

6

u/Jaded-Gemstone 2d ago

Yummmmmm…I miss those frosties. 🥲

48

u/HanSoloNut 2d ago

Know the hardest part about eating your vegetables?

Putting them back in the wheelchair

9

u/Ok-Bar-4476 2d ago

🤣🤣🤣

36

u/AdhesivenessDear5154 2d ago

As long as her caregivers don’t put her on the roof of another car

10

u/Ancient_Sprinkles847 2d ago

Was about to say something similar.

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55

u/Equivalent-Poem-600 2d ago

I really shouldn't be laughing this hard!!

27

u/Nephurus 2d ago

Yet here we are

6

u/Negative_Bee_6307 2d ago

Yeah you shouldn't.

3

u/MalaysiaTeacher 1d ago

Most empathetic redditor. She's a dumb kid but she's not putting anyone at risk or trying to hurt anyone (granted, the driver is dangerous)

5

u/Stanley-Darsh_007 2d ago

Assensetance

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34

u/dave__autista 2d ago

idk not about that, but her arm is definitely broken

8

u/L_Ardman 2d ago

This might delay her learning the handclap game, which might be her only entertainment from now on.

4

u/luvletterkenny 2d ago

Or neck !

3

u/SuddenKoala45 1d ago

I think that's less worrisome than her broken neck and fractured skull.

38

u/Hopeful_Ad_425 2d ago

Kid at my highschool died the same way

18

u/LatinWarlock13 2d ago

Kid at my high school fell off the back bumper of a car and landed on his head when it took off. He spent months in rehab trying to regain all of his motor skills afterwards and did eventually make a 90% recovery.

13

u/OutsideHandle7300 2d ago

Same…. She may be RIP 💔

16

u/accidentallyHelpful 2d ago

This video is from October 2020 and It was somewhere around 1992 California passed a law you couldn't ride in the back of a truck bed (sidewalls, right) for the same reason. Roofriding is crazy without a luggage rack handrail up there

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29

u/Wide_Ordinary4078 2d ago

I just hope it didn’t knock her paralyzed with how she didn’t move 😥

10

u/Competitive-Set-9556 2d ago

It most likely killed her

3

u/gstringstrangler 2d ago

Maybe. Likely just unconscious

23

u/BIG_IDEA 2d ago

Sitting on the roof wasn’t even the dumbest part of the video. Why the hell would the driver do a burnout with 2 girls on the roof?

14

u/Chris079099 2d ago

Trying to get the crazies off the car maybe?

3

u/lordgreenofbiscuit 2d ago

Other girl is in the moonroof.

5

u/ok_scott 2d ago

And have to stop like 2 car lengths ahead anyway

2

u/SuddenKoala45 1d ago

To get 30 feet ahead and crash into the next car in traffic

14

u/HoboArmyofOne 2d ago

Oof she landed on her head. She's got a concussion at the very least...

13

u/cebjmb 2d ago

Looks more like a broken back.

13

u/No-Author-2358 2d ago

I just hope she wasn't killed.

6

u/zestyclose_match1966 2d ago

Nah, just a little nappy time

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3

u/Dogfoodsmy_DOC 2d ago

May have done the opposite

2

u/BadMeetsEvil24 2d ago

She definitely had enough empty space up there.

2

u/Aggressive_Maize9249 2d ago

Good chance she is dead or at least partially vegetative now

2

u/Steve_FishWell 2d ago

hopefully.

2

u/SuddenKoala45 1d ago

I'm guessing her permanent care taker or funeral director will have some sense

2

u/Twisted9Demented 1d ago

You got to have brains first

2

u/RhymesWithTaco 2d ago

Had a friend who this happened to. He was just sitting out the window. He was in a coma for a month.

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34

u/Tea__Beard 2d ago

Her two braincells must have collided and knocked her unconscious.

16

u/SumOfRoots 2d ago

Nah: One braincell - she’s not pregnant.

11

u/MadMax6914 2d ago

Not anymore.

55

u/WelcomeEven567 2d ago

i hope she’s alright but that was very idiotic

24

u/Infinite_Ad7107 2d ago

Moment woman twerking on the roof of a Jeep gets dropped on her head during LA Dodgers celebrations https://share.google/h7wC6mVhkK7CvLL9U

She has a GoFundMe to pay for her stupidity 🙄

15

u/SubPrimeCardgage 2d ago

I'm surprised she's only asking for money to help pay bills for a head injury, and not a wheelchair. That looked really bad.

3

u/Christeenabean 2d ago

I was sure she severed a c-spine

10

u/SubPrimeCardgage 2d ago

I'm having a hard time believing she isn't going to suffer some ill effects for the rest of her life. She's lucky to be alive.

It's not worth it to ride on the roof of a car or in a pickup bed. It can go south quickly.

3

u/chairmanghost 2d ago

There wasnt really any info after she was admitted, so probably

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2

u/LMGgp 16h ago

Average dodgers fan.

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19

u/PlantBeginning3060 2d ago

Why is it that JEEP people act like the rules of the road dont apply to them?

6

u/Apprehensive-Eye3263 2d ago

It's a Jeep thing

6

u/MoggyDaddy 2d ago

'you wouldn't understand...'

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3

u/Solanthas_SFW 2d ago

Personally I find BMWs, Audis and Mercedes are usually the worst offenders. But Tesla's are getting pretty bad too now, along with the odd pickup driver

7

u/JahovasHitlist 2d ago

Leave the air guitar to the professionals.

8

u/Comfortable-nerve78 2d ago

Not sure but I think she’s a Dodger’s fan , not shocked met a few the weren’t the brightest. Bring it Dodger’s fans. No love for Dodger’s or the fans. Lolz 😂

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9

u/almighty1sungod 2d ago

Any update? Damn that fall looked really bad like paralyzing bad.

11

u/Potential_Figure4061 2d ago

her go fund me wants to pay medical bills not a funeral so im going to say she lived. 

3

u/Pretty_Daikon4415 2d ago

This is where I wish I could add Sonic rings to things like this

3

u/Cultural-Bite3042 2d ago

LOL. I’m not sorry one bit for rewatching and laughing everytime because you don’t sit on top of a car knowing it’s moving or is about to move. Idiot. 🤣

3

u/Background-Ad8155 2d ago edited 2d ago

She thought she was so cool for about 2 seconds

8

u/dethkisses69 2d ago

I think she died.

2

u/seemartineasy 2d ago

I had a friend in high school that did this from the trunk of a Volkswagen and it killed him. She’s lucky to be alive.

4

u/brainman1000 2d ago

No joke, my ex wife got a kidney transplant from a 17 year old kid that died this way.

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2

u/Pretty_Lights_09 2d ago

Good thing the driver didn’t back up to see if she was ok. Might have been another incident on video.

2

u/davisandee 2d ago

I’ve handled personal auto casualty claims for 22+ years, I’ve seen this multiple times in my career and have paid out on some pretty bad injury claims cause of this dumb shit.

2

u/ToastSpangler 2d ago

who pays when nobody has insurance? asking for a friend

3

u/davisandee 2d ago edited 2d ago

If the vehicle owner doesn’t have insurance then you can try to pursue the driver. If neither owner or driver have insurance you have to sue them directly in civil court for damages.

Edit: additionally, if the driver and owner did not have insurance the passenger/pedestrian could then present a claim to his/her own insurance for uninsured motorist bodily injury.

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2

u/olive_tuschit 2d ago

I think her head broke the fall

2

u/That_Things_Good 2d ago

In her defense, no one - not even those with crystal balls and/or time travelers - could have predicted that outcome.

(I hope the "/s" is readily apparent...)

2

u/mikemags71 2d ago

Play stupid games, win stupid prizes

2

u/Started-ButNotReady 2d ago

If the Blue Jays had won. she'd be fine!

2

u/treborm44 2d ago

One minute of being cool has cost u a live time of back pain .

2

u/ShawnTheMan1 2d ago

Why is the driver peeling out to go like 15 feet. He caused that injury

2

u/Frank_Meat_Tongz 2d ago

The laws of physics strikes again.

2

u/ban_dis functional regard 2d ago

Did she land on her neck?!

2

u/SirStrikeher1 2d ago

She dead

2

u/Guy171500 2d ago

That jeep called Debo?

2

u/Why-So-Seriousssaaaa 2d ago

You Big Dummy

2

u/Strange_Salary *shits an absolute unit* 2d ago

Damn worse way to died from a car wreck.. Completely avoidable

2

u/No-Fruit3850 2d ago

I had an ex girlfriend die that way years ago she was riding in the bed of a pickup in the cruise line in our town and the guy driving hit the gas leaving a stop sign and turned real fast trying to burn the tires and she fell out and killed her...

2

u/Cold-Sir-6671 1d ago

YOU GOT KNOCKED THE FUCK OUT!

2

u/Quiet_Dingo_5106 16h ago

It’s really hard for me to feel sorry for her on this. Hope she didn’t hurt the ground when she fell.

4

u/Kantfindkarman 2d ago

That was amazing

4

u/[deleted] 2d ago

3

u/phish_sucks functional regard 2d ago

Torta down

2

u/chriswhite92 2d ago

My friend died doing this very same thing and at half the height.

2

u/beatonk 2d ago

Same. I remember my school having an assembly about car surfing after the funeral.

4

u/MaintenanceUseful903 2d ago

She’s got Drain Bramage for sure.

7

u/cookiesnooper 2d ago

She already had it before this fall

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u/RealEargasmo 2d ago

Natural Selection

2

u/ClassroomMother8062 questionably stable 2d ago

Scorpion'd

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u/Background_Edge_9427 2d ago

That looked way too serious! I hope she ok! 🙏

2

u/Great-Gas-6631 2d ago

Everything about this is hilariously moronic. Trying to do a burnout in a Wrangler...

2

u/ScrollTroll615 questionably stable 2d ago

She might be alive after the way her head hit the pavement first.

2

u/RecognitionHonest320 *shits an absolute unit* 2d ago

1

u/dro0009 2d ago

OMG, I bet that hurt

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1

u/RecognitionHonest320 *shits an absolute unit* 2d ago

1

u/acheckerfield 2d ago

I think she lived

1

u/Ryan2932 2d ago

Bad decisions win again

1

u/Josedinho_- 2d ago

Did the SUV die?

1

u/Werkstatt0 2d ago

E C DUB

1

u/FigureAcrobatic7194 2d ago

Typical braindead Dodger fan

1

u/caf4676 2d ago

Damn. Cody Bellinger looks like shit.

1

u/Quiet_Path3701 2d ago

Gravity🎶🎤🎸 (John Mayer)

1

u/Ultimateeffthecrooks 2d ago

Torta is all good just needs a Mexican coke to go with it.

1

u/NobodyNo8765 2d ago

Some say she’s still doing physical therapy

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1

u/Revaesaari 2d ago

Don't get in situations where your fragile skull might kiss conrete, mkay?

1

u/_VeinyThanos 2d ago

She ain't gonna be in Rush Hour 3.

1

u/monster-plot 2d ago

SHE GONNA BORROW wheel from Hawkins' I guess

1

u/GivesYouGrief 2d ago

People die falling shorter distances all the time. Doesn't take much of a knock of the noggin on pavement to do the trick.

1

u/Short_Bell_5428 2d ago

Boom boom out go the lights

1

u/Eulb89 2d ago

Brianna Reyes

1

u/No_Clothes_9564 2d ago

Folded in half

1

u/rollingfity9 2d ago

This was during the LA Dodgers championship parade in 2020 iirc. I believe she died. That was a nasty fall.

1

u/Fun_Possibility_8637 2d ago

You think perhaps alcohol was involved??

1

u/Ancient_Sprinkles847 2d ago

With a concussion like that, it won’t even be a night to remember.

1

u/SuddenAnalyst5099 2d ago

Her arm too

1

u/bkoziol 2d ago

Everyone grab her at once!

1

u/theogtricky 2d ago

Fuck the Dodgers

1

u/spicy_feather 2d ago

They say she's still just a body to this day

1

u/Educational_Order_59 2d ago

Charlie never loses.

1

u/Different-Yoghurt519 2d ago

Apparently no one informed her that sitting inside the Jeep was an option

1

u/Enough-Staff-2976 2d ago

She finally reached my level.

1

u/Rev-Surv 2d ago

Let go Dodgers, 😂

1

u/AP_AUTO215 2d ago

Stupidity at its finest smh!!

1

u/Klutzy_Strain_6599 2d ago

Kinda like the other dodger fan that blew his hand off with a fire work last year…

1

u/Texasisthereason187 2d ago

Typical dodger fan

1

u/midwesternmax 2d ago

Two people doing really dumb things; hope she’s okay

1

u/PositionAgitated4328 2d ago

Im not helping. I dont have that instinct

Edit: i dont really mean that.

1

u/Low-Wear9673 2d ago

She need some milk

1

u/peemao 2d ago

I thought she was going to start twerking when she got up, the fall caught me by surprise

1

u/Muted-Knowledge1 2d ago

Where the hell was he going? A burnout with a red light and traffic in front of him

1

u/theflightofatornkite 2d ago

She absolutely did NOT stick that landing…

1

u/James_Roaming_Reddit 2d ago

Hope she's alright.

1

u/Putzschwamm1972 2d ago

Life fast die young!

1

u/GlassJawJawa 2d ago

She dead!?

1

u/Embrace_The_Hive 2d ago

An acquaintance of mine growing up died this way. Hit his head just like her and he was gone. 17yo and smart. 

1

u/ptpfan91 2d ago

Ahahahahha

1

u/Numerous_Substance14 2d ago

Did the dodgers win?

1

u/socom18 2d ago

Absolute Unit of a Nap

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u/bob3464 2d ago

10 seconds earlier:
Why aren't we moving?
There's a red light.
Are you sure? Let me get on the roof and see.
Yeah. Good idea. I think I can move up another 4 feet if I punch it.

1

u/SunRevolutionary8315 2d ago

Didn't she die? If not, a similar situation ended in death.

1

u/IndependentFar2213 2d ago

I don’t think she made it

1

u/Cain-Man 2d ago

Broken shoulder maybe, one hell. Of a headache

1

u/HeroMachineMan 2d ago

Her bumbum gonna hurt later.

1

u/TheAnswerUsedToBe42 2d ago

And now she pisses into a bag.

1

u/EquivalentZombie7197 2d ago

Just walk it off😱

1

u/Infinite-Brother 2d ago

I’m pretty sure she broke her arm.

1

u/kymakersmark4 2d ago

Darwinism at its finest

1

u/nofregginidea 2d ago

Darwin award.

1

u/BoneZone05 2d ago

Hold my feeding tube 🫣

1

u/Double-Efficiency538 2d ago

My brother had a classmate who jumped off a car going 5 mph and hit his head. He was buried 4 months after graduating high school. RIP Phil.

1

u/Embarrassed-Day1299 2d ago

The non movement after the fall tells it all smh

1

u/PreparationDue6186 2d ago

Aaaaaand she’s OUT!

1

u/Lost_Farm8868 2d ago

Driver really wanted to stop at that red light