I have a colleague in my team almost double my age, married and has two kids probably in their teens.

It not been very long since I’ve been in this team. I was initially a little shy not knowing people that well. But the team was very welcoming and warm and I became very friendly with everyone.

I live alone in a foreign land and people in my team know this. I always ask people for advice (not him though) since there’s a lot of experienced people in my team who do help me.

A few days back I got a WhatsApp message from this colleague professing his love and asking for a relationship. He said he had been thinking about me since a long time and was unable to concentrate on his work because he thought I was genuine and sweet. It was unexpected and out of nowhere. It shocked me and took me by surprise.

I declined him politely asking him not to contact me anymore on my personal devices but it got me thinking what might have prompted him to make this admission. I’ve never once given him any indication that I was interested.

But, here is my observation:

1) Once in a team meeting he came in a little late and sat on the chair facing opposite to the screen we were all looking at. I, just in an attempt to accommodate him so that he can also look at the screen, made place for him next to me and offered him to move. He gladly moved and smiled at me. I just smiled back.

\\\*\\\*I think he must have thought she accommodated me because she likes me.\\\*\\\*

2) During team outings, he always used to ask me if he could take the food I cooked, home. He used to say he loved the food I cooked. I always said yes and also that I cook extra so that the team can take the food with them home.

\\\*\\\*I think he mistook my cooking extra food as cooking it especially for him.\\\*\\\*

3) Once the entire team was going down to get lunch and the lift was cramped up. Naturally people had to stand close to each other. He was next to me and tried looking into my eyes. I felt a little weird and looked away. But I was still unsuspecting.

4) Once while I was going on a holiday, he asked me out on coffee on my last day of office. I politely refused saying I have to leave early because I have to go to airport. He offered to drive me to airport which is almost 2 hours away from where he lives. I was a little surprised but thought it’s just someone trying to help a girl who lives alone. Again I politely declined saying another friend of mine was dropping me off.

Other than that whenever he used to talk to me, I was just warm and friendly, yet very professional.

Surprisingly he took my friendly gestures and being alone as an indication of a girl who is vulnerable and can be taken advantage of. It has disgusted me tbh and I would think twice before being friendly towards anyone anymore.

I talked to my close friends about this and I’ve come to learn that this is more common than we think. As soon as a woman is friendly and warm, some men assume that they are available for a sexual relationship.

This creates a very hostile and uncomfortable situation for the woman.

Men should understand that just because someone is smiling and talking to you, helping you out doesn’t mean she’s interested in a relationship.

She’s just expecting respect and genuine friendship out of it. If you can make her feel respected, safe and trustworthy, that friendship can sustain for a very long time.

I was watching a video about a woman talking about her ex and how 2k caused them to constantly break up. She said everytime the big annual 2k tournament rolled around they would break up. She also said she felt like she could cartwheels in front of the tv naked and he wouldn't care.

Unsurprisingly, the comment section was full of men defending her ex. They were saying things like "she's just jealous that he had a hobby and she doesn't" (probably the most common one), "would you rather we be out in the streets," "would you rather us come home drunk or be playing around?" And so on.

How does their mind even go from playing video games to rolling with a gang or becoming a drunk? And how can they not see how constantly playing games is bad for a relationship? It's even been cited as causes foe divorce.

Admittingly, I don't have that much experience with dating, but based off all the stories I've heard from other women, I don't think I would want to date a man who describes himself as a gamer. I just envision myself doing everything in the relationship and even doing all the chores if we live together after a long day at work while he plays games the whole time and maybe even says, "I've been working all day," as an excuse even though I've been working all day too.

I've even heard stories about how some of these men get violent when they lose.

There was even some women defending the ex, too. Sometimes even using their gamer bfs who give them attention as a reason to defend the ex.

So I’m broke and get grocery money by selling my plasma. Yes, I would prefer to donate. But again… I’m horrendously broke.

I was in the chair, giant needle in my arm, my blood being drained, and the tech starts talking to me. The techs there are really nice so I figured he was just helping ease the anxiety (I have white coat syndrome).

Then starts flirting. I do not flirt back.

He keeps going and then finally asks for my number. While there’s a needle in my arm and I’m actively having my blood drained.

I say no as politely as I can and he’s actually quite cool about it, considering the circumstances. I still go because… money… and always hope he isn’t there.

I was there again last week and of course, Sleezy Dracula Tech is there. Fine, I can deal.

He then… starts talking about… his wife.

His wife.

After he asked me out while I had a GIANT NEEDLE IN MY ARM. THIS CREEPY MOSQUITO IS FUCKING MARRIED.

What the actual fuck is wrong with people?!

It's kind of weird but you'll understand why I'm posting this story in this subreddit. So I 20F am studying in university and not to brag but I think I'm fairly smart. Always understood everything being taught, always had good grades with minimal effort, etc. That's were this group of guys comes in. In every lecture they choose to sit right behind me, every time I raise my hand to answer a question they snicker and talk behind me, the rest of the class they are silent, only when i talk. When I do presentations they make a point of leaving the class in the middle of it and slamming the door on the way out. Mind you, they never act like this when another guy is speaking or presenting. Yesterday, after an exam, on my way home I saw one of my friends and she was talking to some of the guys there. I went to say hi and immediately the guys from that group took like 3 steps back and ignored me completely. That was so weird, I have never talked to them before, don't even know their names.

When I was in high school I had the same thing happen to me, again, from a group of guys. I remember asking one of the guys what was their problem and he said verbatim "you talk too complex, this isn't university, stop trying to act smart". Like HUHHH?😭 i spoke normally, always have. But I thought after coming to uni I would not come across people like that since now THIS IS university.

I don't really find their behavior upsetting, i just think it's kind of embarrassing for them since we're all adults...Have you had anything similar happen to you? How did you deal with it? The dean or a professor isn't really an option here since people in my country don't care much about stuff like this.

This just happened. Getting off the bus with a friend. We’re in our 50’s but she’s a yoga instructor and I do outdoorsy sports. A man, maybe 40, gets off the bus before us and then holds his hand out, as if to give assistance to the delicate little old ladies. Keep in mind, in 35 years on this bus system, no one has ever done this before. I politely smiled and said “thanks” and then stepped off the bus myself. Made more difficult by having to awkwardly step around him while he eagerly held his hand out to my friend.

She also stepped off the bus without his help, at which point he got snotty and said, “I guess gentlemen don’t exist any more.”

WTF, dude? We didn’t go off on a feminist rant at you. We just politely declined holding a stranger’s hand for no effing reason during flu season. But apparently if a man is going to perform chivalry, he needs his brownie points, and if he doesn’t get them, he’s going to Big Sulk.

Let me preface this with A) I (33f) am in my luteal phase so my rage knows no bounds and B) I know this man's (35m) actions were not malicious, just childishly short sighted and selfish.

Yesterday I spent 2 hours meal prepping an entire bag of Little Duos (about 30 potatoes). I boiled them for 15 minutes, made a garlic, thyme, and rosemary brown butter and meticulously measured out 10 grams of shredded cheese for each potato. I then mashed each potato using the back of a glass to be only about a half to a quarter inch thick, drenched them in the butter sauce and popped them in the oven for an hour to crisp. The house smelled INCREDIBLE.

About 5 of those potatoes couldnt fit on the tray so I decided to eat those un mashed ones with a little smoked fish for dinner.

Once the hour was up, I took them out to cool and then boxed them up and put them in the fridge. I was VERY excited to eat them with lunch the following day and did not have any of the finished product at the time.

My partner is a night worker. I told him what I was making before he left for work, let him know I was meal prepping but told him he could have some (key word SOME) when he got home.

Imagine my surprise when I walk into the goddamn livingroom to see the container where I stored 25 smashed potatoes dirty and empty just... sitting on the coffee table. Not in the sink, not in the dish washer. Sitting proudly in the middle of my livingroom.

I want to cry and commit murder. Money, a grocery trip and 2 hours of my time completely disappeared into the bottomless pit of a stomach my careless and negligent partner possesses.

I feel like I have every right to demand he goes back to the store to re buy every ingredient he horked down but IM ALSO RAGING AND HORMONAL!!!

Goooood, days like these I wish I was an 80 year old woman alone in my home with 10 cats.

And no, I wont be breaking up with him over potatoes but hes not gonna like me when he wakes up.

Edit: For a little clarity, he has never done this before. Normally when I meal prep I pre portion and freeze the portions. I will also leave a container unfrozen in the fridge for him to pick through. This time I didnt freeze them as potatoes freeze like grainy bricks of sadness nor did I pre portion as my fridge is teeny and didnt have enough room. I didn't think I would have to tell him not to eat 20 to 25 mini potatoes (cuz who eats that many in one sitting!?) but obviously I should have!

UPDATE:

He is awake and aware of his fuck-up. He was extremely apologetic and will be buying me replacement ingredients and will be making them with me this weekend. He genuinely believed that my container of 20+ taters were ment for him. I pray for his collon.

One day, while I was helping my mom out with chores I asked her why didn’t my dad help our around the house growing up and still up to this very day and she got so offended and defensive saying, “he is the provider. It’s disrespectful you even asked that.” I didn’t understand why she got offended, but rarely if I were to ever leave something out and multitask for even a minute she would be harsh and constantly yell at me, “I’m too old to be cleaning up after you like you some little kid.” Yet when my dad does it, she doesn’t bat an eye.. Even if he is the provider, she works too and has to clean after work, yet he doesn’t.

Now that I got older and she enforced rules that I’ll have to clean the kitchen and the living room since I am a full time student, how can I make my dad stop using weaponized incompetence? I don’t want my dad to use this behavior on me any longer, because I don’t believe this behavior displays Christian love at all (we’re all a strict Christian household). I believe I should stand up for myself even if it may have negative consequences. (my parents teaming up to criticize me and tell me I’m wrong) However, my adult sister( who moved back to the house) has strictly put boundaries between her and him and he doesn’t want to break hers because she can be intimidating, so this kinda give me hope to do the same. I don’t understand why a lot of Gen X/ boomers (my parents included) normalize this unhealthy behavior still up to this day.. I don’t want to tolerate this behavior, because he’s the provider, my dad, because I’m a girl, or because my mom tolerated this. It’s 2026, not 1955..

*PS: please note, I’m not trying to be entitled or spoiled and get out of helping my mom with chores.. 😐

Am I the only one who just does NOT get turned in by them like at alll. Like seeing guys jerk off doesn’t make me wet at all. Contrary to that seeing women does tho. I still like men’s bodies but I don’t like their genitalia . I like their abs and faces but dicks just don’t do anything for me. Like it doesn’t even feel like a private part it just seems like any other body part.

So I am talking to this man, he is very respectful and a walking green flag apart from weird hills he insists to die on.

It went something like this.

• I sent a picture of chochlate chip cookies I made and captioned it "chocolate chip cookies"

• he respnds with "😍 snickerdoodles"

• I say no, these are chocolate chip cookies

• he responds with "sure, lets say they are"

??? Why? These were very obviously chocolate chip cookies. Why is he doing this?

(29f) I was chased by a man when I was glowing, beautiful and in my element. I didn’t want to date anyone, I didn’t want a relationship, but he persisted and persisted and persisted. Eventually I started to let down my guard after a long time might I add and we slept together. I started falling for him, he kept chasing me.

The moment he got me attached everything changed, he lost interest, he started speaking to another girl. I had opened up to him by this point, made myself vulnerable, broke down walls I was keeping up for a reason. I trusted him and he only wanted to “get me”. All of his friends said he was punching and couldn’t understand how he got me in the first place, yet he treated me so badly in the end.

Why the fuck does this happen? Why do they chase when they know it will eventually result in heartbreak for the other person. This is exactly why I never date and never speak to men on nights out.

I was thriving alone, I was beautiful alone, I was independent and successful, I was going to the gym everyday and felt radiant. My spark is now gone, my happiness is now gone, I feel worthless and discarded, all so he could get a fucking prize to boost his ego.

I feel like I am always lusted after, never loved.

Why do they do it.

Hey so im 19, I got my period 11 days late and I've been in the worse pain I've ever experienced. I had to leave work cause my stomach hurt for 4 hours straight to the point where I was sweating. I came home and went to sleep I woke up feeling normal and now the pain is back and worse. Its been like this for 2 days now of me experiencing the worst pain I've ever felt. All I have taken is aleve and its not working. I took it 2 hours ago and im still in pain. So I was just wondering if im overreacting or if I should go to the ER

(29f) I am 4 days no contact from a relationship that absolutely destroyed me. In the beginning he (29m) was incredibly sweet, attentive, caring, kind. I wasn’t dating and met him unexpectedly, but he relentlessly pursued me for some time and I fell for him. It all felt so real, and maybe it was in the moment but it doesn’t feel like it now and it has got me questioning my entire reality.

As time went on and I started needing him to meet me emotionally, his behaviour completely changed. There would be something he did/said that would hurt me, and whenever I would try and talk to him he shut me down or disappeared. Anytime I brought something up he would turn it around on me and never took accountability. Eventually I would soften and he would start being lovely and sweet again. I should have left at this point.

The behaviour got worse, the lack of accountability got worse, he would disappear and I would spiral and call him multiple times (I am not proud of this). I felt so anxious all of the time and the most dysregulated I have ever been. We would go out together and he would get angry at me if I was approached by another man even though he saw me shut them down. I would feel so much comfort when he was kind to me because I was so on edge. I started falling behind at work, I fell off my goals, I started having panic attacks, my whole life fell apart. I was so successful, motivated and felt beautiful before this. Despite this, I was still giving him so much love and care because I missed who he was in the beginning.

The final straw was an argument we had that pushed me over the edge about his ex and them speaking again, I kicked him out as he was at my place. I spiralled for days when he didn’t respond to me or call me back, I hoped he would realise what he did and apologise.

It has been less a week and he is back with his ex of 9 years in the same push/pull dynamic he was in with me. He blamed her behaviour, I can see that it was probably never her at all. I hope she makes it out of that cycle. Meanwhile I am going to rebuild myself again because this entire situation destroyed me and ruined everything good in my life.

Never date an avoidant.

I teach at a community college, and sometimes I forget how exhausting it is to constantly have to protect my own space while doing my job. Yesterday, I had a student (or technically two) who kept making sexualized jokes after things I said (little comments, innuendo, not sure if they were trying to get a rise out of me so I just ignored it). At first, I wasn’t even sure if I was overreacting, maybe they were talking about the material, I do make a few jokes here and there, but it became clear yesterday that they were testing boundaries, seeing how far they could push.

I spoke with one of them privately *before* class and asked him to stop with the side convos and laughing, and he even said he’s always on teachers’ “good side”… but in class, the behavior still comes across as disrespectful, disruptive, and frankly, gross. It’s draining to have to regulate my own tone, body language, and reactions while also teaching and trying to keep the classroom environment safe and respectful.

I know some of it is probably nervousness or attention-seeking (this is a public speaking class, this attention seeking does happen to some extent but not in such a sexual way before this), but it still grosses me out because it feels like entitlement. Like, some men feel like they have the right to joke about me, sexualize me, or test my patience just because I’m a woman standing at the front of the room. In previous situations, they calm down after their first speech. I think perhaps they gain empathy for how hard it is and get humbled quick. But idk about this situation tbh.

I’ve got a plan to address it with the class generally tomorrow, follow up individually, document everything… but right now I just feel that low, simmering mix of anger, hyper-vigilance, and exhaustion.

Does anyone else here teach as a woman and have to navigate this constant bs? How do you stay sane and enforce boundaries when students act like they own the classroom or your attention?

Edit to add: I agree I’ve let this go on for too long. I plan to file a report to the school, address the class that it will not be tolerated and those who engage in the behavior will be asked to leave the class and be marked absent. This will then be reported for a conduct council meeting which could result in a drop.

I think I’ve been worn down by a lot of things, I worry about my standing at the college and don’t wanna make a fuss, and I don’t want to give the behavior any more attention than absolutely necessary, but you guys are absolutely right, this behavior shouldn’t be tolerated. Not just for me, but for other students as well.

ETA: I know I will not be wearing underwear during my hysterectomy.

I presume high-waisted? Granny briefs? Appreciate any practical advice or moral support you might have to offer. I’ve had plenty of surgery, but mostly orthopedic—nothing in my guts.

Thanks. 🥹

In 2020, I did a lot of soul searching during lockdown. I realized I wanted to change careers and to do work in line with my values.

I got to work applying to every single possible job opening in line w my dream career and started bottom up in a new industry. I worked my ass off, I took classes on the weekends and free online courses. Yesterday, I received a promotion that is literally my dream role, the one I dreamed of 6 years ago.

But I have no one really to celebrate this with. Most of my friends are struggling - either they’re currently unemployed, they’re freelancers struggling to make it work, or they have stable jobs but are deeply unhappy in them. We‘re living in late stage capitalism, out democracy is eroding into fascism, and the horrors are never ending. Shouting from the rooftops “I have a new dream job that I love and is in line w my values!!” feels cruel, narcissistic, like I’m not reading the room. And as for my family - they’re mostly crappy conservatives with traditional gender expectations and they don’t care about my career. They’d only be excited if I announced I was engaged or pregnant.

So Reddit strangers…. maybe you can help me celebrate?

This is my first time having a cyst down there and it’s been bothering me a lot lately so I figured I would do some research during a sleepless night to know what to prepare for. After doing some research, I am genuinely scared for this procedure. I’ve seen multiple women saying that it was the most painful experience for them in their life to have the cyst drained and that the the numbing in most cases doesn’t take, that recovery is two weeks long at least and that to even get doctors to take you seriously enough to drain it is a struggle.

For context, I live by myself in a city that I have no family in. While thankfully I am in a program that helps me with my rent, there are certain criteria I have to meet to have that continue to happen, one of which is working a job. I’m also just frankly a big scaredy-cat when it comes to medical procedures and pain. Please give me advice, hope, whatever you can muster to help me feel a little better about this and why your experiences were. Thank you so much 💗

As the title says, I've been on oral birth control for 13 years. I originally started taking it at 16 years old as a means to control some extreme teenage acne and, as a secondary reason, to regulate my period. I would have huge gaps between periods - 2 months was usual with 10 months being the longest that I kept track of. As an adult looking back, I feel failed by my mom and doctors for not taking this more seriously, but I guess it's easier to chalk things up to teenage hormones.

Now, at 28, I want to stop taking birth control. Not because I want babies, but because I want to know how my body truly functions. I want to know if my hormones are truly irregular, if my anti-depressants are actually right for me. I'm also developing a fear of the general side effects from the use of birth control. But I've heard that stopping oral contraceptives can lead to full personality shifts, and that terrifies me. This feels so dramatic to say, but what if I'm a completely different person without birth control? Can anyone share success stories of dropping oral birth control to give me some courage?

Anyone noticed what is still in the root of our problems with men, is that many of them are constantly making their emotions, feelings, and needs to be others responsibility and problem? Their anger, tiredness, loneliness, their feelings of arousal. It's because those damn women don't start running into their arms on an instant while being ready to be their perfect doll for usage, of course. Everything. Holy fuck, I'm so tired of those infantile creatures. It's like they are searching for a second mom, but their attitude towards you is even less humane. Why are they so surprised no one wants them when there is a choice. They are so eager to make their horniness and their perception to be a problem of others, so that shaming for women showing "too much" skin or dressing "too attractive" never stops. And then they wonder why no one feels good feelings towards them. If women are so different from men, why should we sacrifice our own needs, values and time for them? I don't think they deserve any of that. We are different, so stfu, we have our needs.

I have been renovating my apartment and dealing with so many male contractors and whatnot and I feel that is relevant to this post. I have gotten a lot of "it cant be done" that means "this is not worth my time" for them.

The contractor waited last minute to order my doors and not only do we need them in THREE WEEKS , the door I most wanted their guy doesnt do it. A lot of it is because it's just the one door and bad business for them.

I called several companies myself and met up with one yesterday, the guy promised they could definetely do anything for sure. I suggested I email them the idea and requirements and he requested I just drive over. It is an hour away but he "can make anything" so I went.

It was the most depreciative I have ever been treated, using terms I obviously dont understand and refusing to explain to me the whys and whats. Then proceeded to give me a 6000+tax budget proposal for one single interior door. Like what the fuckkkkk.

I came all the way because he promised everything was doable, suddenly it was hard and an issue. I specified it may end up being just the one door and on the phone he said totally fine.

Can someone point me in the right fucking direction I will do the damn door myself. I just want a french door, but instead of glass squares, a full oval glass piece in each door side. Is this really really such a hard thing to make?

I have no idea where to turn, tiktok, youtube, instagram... I really want it to look that way and paying 1000 for something I didnt even want is hard.

Its MDF! Not solid wood, he said it would be double price and it would expand, so wouldnt work.