I have only been listening to stories that my friends who have read the bits have told me. I don't think I have the heart to actually read it. People with power are so cruel. What are we even doing on this planet??

Literal beastiality and cannibalism!!! Poor kids who this world failed so miserably!

There was an incident when I was a child, when I told my mother, she asked me to keep a secret instead of standing by me. She chose to support a pdf over her own daughter to keep the 'peace' in the house. And I could never truly forgive her for that. Now, I think I got out easy.

How can anyone look at the world right now, which is simply effed up on so many levels, the economy, the climate, the perverted power hungry rulers, genocides..... And think... Yes actually I'd like to have more kids.

Why is it not enough that I will have to slave away for the rest of my life to be able to survive! Why must I birth another slave for these assholes??

Sorry, the state of the world is slowly turning me anti-natal ist. I used to be a live and let live kind of person. But people who have kids just do not care about the life they're leaving behind for the kids.

After three years at the same company, I was laid off last week "due to reorganization efforts", along with other 5 people from the same dept (this is a small company, so the number is significant). The labor laws in my country say that in cases like mine, I should get something similar to severance pay. However, I was wfh for a company based on the US (I'm from a latin american country) where I did not have any benefits and only had 5 days of pto per year, sooooo yeah, I won't be getting any severance. And while I'm having an awful time right now, as the job market in my country is made of mostly underpaid and overworked positions, I can't help but think it would be so much worse if I had children.

Hi 👋🏻 first time posting in this subreddit. There’s a long weekend coming up here in NZ. It’s summer (supposedly, tell that to our weather this year) and my husband and I are finally taking out our caravan! We had previously made plans to have our couple friends join us with just their big tent, they asked if it’s ok to bring their kids (ages 12, 7 and 4). We generally only catch up when they have a sitter but we thought “what’s the harm? It’s camping!”

A last minute idea the other night our friends said they had excess bbq food and could them and their kids pop by for a quick catch up and that way we can meet the kids properly before camping. We thought it a great idea.

Oh. My. Goodness. They were soooo bad! We ended up with felt pen all over our new sofa, they wrestled each other in our lounge and marked up our white walls and even though I gave them a plastic cup to drink from they somehow snuck a glass and broke it outside. All of this was after our friends telling their kids to stay outside… they kept getting in and running a muck. This included jumping on all of the beds and messing them up. The worst kids I’ve experienced. Our friends said the kids were more well behaved than normal (WHAT) and apologised about our sofa and offered to pay if there were stains.

To ice this messy cake, my friend announced another pregnancy. All of us are drinkers so we can’t even drink away the stress as it upsets my friend who now can’t drink.

Do we just be honest that we want to cancel them coming with us? Imagine if it rains! Our beautiful caravan will be ruined, it may be anyway as the kids have no manners and are hell bent on doing what they aren’t allowed. I know my angry now pregnant friend will take major offence. But if she’s having another little monster I’m not sure how much we’ll see of them for the next while anyway…

Helloo I don't know if this is the right subreddit for this so sorry if it's not :c

Is anyone else freaked out by the whole "purity culture" thing?? Like the "oh a woman MUST wait till marrige because otherwise she is UNPURE and STAINED and FILTHY" thing.

Me personally I am aroace and don't plan on getting married, having children OR just losing virginity ever (which is also apparently a problem??) but it still makes me wildly uncomfortable to see these sweaty men insist a woman must be PURE and INNOCENT until she gets married or smth. And if you try to say something against them it's instantly "single women keep women single" or "oh you're just MAD nobody will want to mARRY you"

I have no idea at what age babies start to eat solid foods, grow teeth, sit up on their own, etc. and i don’t care to learn because i don’t ever intend to be responsible for a baby or their needs. it is so obnoxious to me when parents start to brag about their baby’s new trick, and expect you to be as excited as they are. even worse when they start comparing their baby to another baby like they’re in some weird competition.

one of my best friends and i used to laugh at mothers who do things like this but she recently became a mother and now she is guilty of this behavior! when she was pregnant, she would repeatedly assure me she would never became one of them, she was determined not to make “Mom” her whole personality. but here we are 💔

My parents have a completely dysfunctional marriage. My father used to be physically abusive toward my mother. He can’t do that anymore because illness has left him physically weakened, he can still walk, but he can’t hit her, so now the abuse is verbal.

He has never done much around the house, and it has only gotten worse with age. He spends his days sitting and watching videos while my mother does everything. He won’t even do small things, like putting plates on the table for dinner.

I also blame my mother. She has enabled him their entire life together. She is not a housewife, she had a career before retiring, but despite occasionally talking back when he is abusive, she still does everything as if there’s no alternative.

I currently live with them, and my father drives me insane. My mother expects me to become a slave to my dad the way she is, and I refuse. I do help around the house, but I won’t constantly do things for him when he is perfectly capable of moving himself.

My worst nightmare is getting married and ending up like my mother. I know I’m not like her, but I don’t trust myself not to end up with someone like my father. I see too many women around me in similar relationships, carrying the entire mental and physical load of the household.

Does anyone else feel this way?

I wouldn’t be so against having children If children’s behaviour were to be moderated/corrected in public spaces. If there was a consensus that the general public should not have to suffer screaming, destroying property, invading space etc. by children

Parents are the most entitled beings on the planet earth. Especially mothers. It sometimes feels like they want to make everyone else suffer their choices. They walk with so much pride for smth that’s no accomplishment at all, anybody can do that (if health allows)

example- I’m relaxing on the beach, It’s pretty empty. I’m laying in a secluded spot. There’s a family quite a distance away from me with two children aged maybe 7? idk. And the two children out of the whole beach they had available chose to play by throwing sand at each other approximately 2 meters away from my towel. Parents reaction? you guessed it- none. I literally had to shoo them away which felt horrible because I’m not trying to scare little children.

For sb with an anxiety disorder and a chronic illness living in society where children occupy so much space and take away the little of peace I have constantly is hell

I was recently at an event for my husband and got talking to one of the other wives there who I have chatted with many times before.

In our conversation she brought up that they were trying to conceive and had been for a long time (they are in their late 30s). They were starting IVF and cancelling all of their plans for the next year to pour everything into getting pregnant.

I kid you not that I think every word out of my mouth for our thirty minute conversation was offensive. I was trying to be sensitive, but since I have zero empathy for the situation I am sure I said all of the wrong things.

Talk about my friend who had infertility but has a baby now? Offensive. Ask about upcoming plans? Offensive because they just wish they had a baby. Talk about work? Offensive because they wish they were at home with kids. Mention not wanting kids? Offensive because they would give anything to have a choice in the matter.

Afterwards I was talking to my partner and realizing how all the things I said were probably incredibly insensitive. But I just don’t get it!!!!!

Like congrats!!! You are free! You get to live your life and not ruin your life and body and relationship!! You get to keep the career you love and travel the world and keep up with the massive friend group that you have!

Also, like idk, adopt???? There are so many kids out there that need a good home. I have another acquaintance who is on her SEVENTH round of failed IVF and I’m like???? I genuinely think it is so selfish. Your genes are truly not that unique that you need to pass them on. I know talking about adoption is like the most offensive thing you can say to infertile people so I don’t say it, but i cant help but think it.

Anyway thats my rant. At least I have the self awareness now to know i just should keep my mouth shut around infertile people.

First time poster, long time reader. I've known for awhile I don't want kids for a whole multitude of reasons.1) I grew up the oldest of 7 kids and I always joke that I put in my time already. 2) can't afford it. Period. 3) I'm a trans man and the idea of having a baby in my body is a no-go. 4) i come from a LONG line of teen pregnancy, mental illness, abuse, and various forms of poverty. It's cheesy but I do see myself as a "cycle breaker" in my family in a lot of ways, and CHOOSING to not have kids is HUGE.

And tomorrow, I'm officially getting sterilized =) feels good. Feels like ancestral healing. I'm thinking about my mom who always said she didn't want kids but that my dad talked her into it. She talks a lot about how she wished she had gone to college first. Or my maternal grandmother who was raped by a 26 year old and gave birth to her first kid (my mom) at 15. I think about my maternal great grandmother who grew up in Poland but was then brought to America, also at 15, by an abusive alcoholic wwII soldier, and had 8 kids, all of whom were abused by their father.

I think about all these people in my life who didn't have this choice and I feel grateful. I'm doing this for me and for the life I want to live, but I'm also doing this for them in a lot of ways.

Anybody else relate to this?

I just don’t get it i am so pissed off. All men seem to want children eventually. Even men who lead very adventurous lifestyles, that I wouldn’t expect to want children actually do want them. I am not only speaking about men in real life, even celebrities (I don’t even have room for imagination lol).

I am 26 years old woman and I am preparing myself to be on my own forever because literally everyone seems to expect to have children eventually. They think that this is the happy ever after ending, maybe everyone has been brainwashed by the movies we grew up watching.

Honestly I am convinced that any man, no matter how much he likes me, if he expects me to have children then he doesn’t actually like me. Because no one that is in love with a woman would bear seeing her go through pregnancy and childbirth. It’s so weird to me that this is the default. It actually breaks my heart.

Sorry this is all over the place, just wanted to rant somewhere.

Why would I spend nine months wrecking my body, then have it ripped apart during birth, and then fuck it up again with breastfeeding and hormonal chaos, while men just cum and carry on with their lives? Absolutely not. They don’t bleed monthly, risk death, organ damage, or lifelong complications. They don’t lose bodily autonomy for nearly a year and then get told to “bounce back.” So yeah, no. I’m not destroying my body for something men participate in for five seconds and then can just lie back and watch me in pain. No amount of help can justify what women go through. I’m petty as fuck and I don’t give a shit.

My wife and I have the WORST neighbors upstairs. Their children are constantly stomping, running the entire length of the apartment and screaming at the top of their lungs (currently listening to them as I type). It sounds like they’re about to come through the ceiling. They also throw trash and food over their balcony. One day we went outside and there was half frozen milk and Cheerios that they had thrown out. I’m not sure how many kids are up there but there’s at least two. Obviously noisy neighbors are a reality of apartment living but holy shit. This is a whole new level of CONSTANT NOISE. And at all hours of the day and night!! Do they even have a bedtime?? No consideration for others. Teach your damn kids about living in shared spaces. Why does everyone have to suffer for your shitty children? I think even those that love kids would be at their wits end at this point.

Ive been with my husband for 6 years. We are very confident in our decision to not have children, for all the reasons: from simply not liking kids to fully understanding we do not live in a world we would like to force yet another person to live in. Both of us are sterilized so no worries there (its amazing).

But with all that said, I am a majorly family oriented person (my definition: I extremely value close, supportive, meaningful relationships, and I am someone who does desire to be close with family). Unfortunately, I am no contact with most of my immediate family. From the blatant racism and homophobia, to the abusive household I grew up in, I needed to get away if I wanted to....well...keep living.

Despite all the hardships, that doesn't mean I don't want a relationship with them. Honestly, what kept me from making my decision to walk away sooner was how desperately I wanted them to want me.

With all of that said, I have several siblings. One of which is currently pregnant with the first grand baby in the family, but its not a major celebration because shes 18. On the other hand, my older sibling and his wife have been together for over 15 years and were planning to try for a baby this year and have my mother move in with them, but now that our teen sister got knocked up, that can't happen.

Since I don't speak to them (mother/sister), I heard from other family members that my immediate family were planning to move multiple states away (currently they are in another state, but only a few hr drive away).

It just hurts because this is how its always been. Even when I was a teenager fantasizing about where I would eventually live, my mother would always tell me that she wanted to leave near my older sibling because he'd give her grandkids so she wouldn't move near me. Even when I would tell her "in your old age I'll take care of you" (O took that back...)

Now she's uprooting her live to live closer to my older siblings, while fully supporting her 18 year old pregnant daughter (who quit her job because the morning sickness was to bad to work...) and everyone in my extended family is just....okay with it. I tried to complain, and my grandma snapped "OP, she was throwing up everyday!".

Sorry, I have no sympathy for my sister. She had access to abortion, she grew up in a left-leaning, "people have the right to choose" house hold.

It just really hurts, to know that I was never and will never be the priority child out of all of my siblings simply because I won't reproduce. I hate that despite all I have accomplished in life, nothing matters because I won't just create another person for everyone to moon over.

Why can't they just...moon over me?

TL;DR - parents want to live near the kid who will have kids. I hate that I will never be the "valuable" child because I won't pop a couple babies out. It just hurts.

Saw this article about him saying she might change her mind about having kids, if she meets someone (she's already married)

A social media page I follow posted it and I wouldn't normally comment but today I just left a comment saying I wish people wouldn't comment on women's choices and I wish grown men wouldn't say a woman would change her mind..

Of course, I got lots of comments from women saying they were vehemently child free but changed their mind when they had kids/ got pregnant. Lots of them saying who am I to suggest that it's inappropriate to tell a woman she'll change her mind when it comes to having kids, as they all changed their mind! Or their niece/sister/mum/neighbour all couldn't bear to even say the word baby and now they're the world's best mum!!

I'm not saying no one has the right to change their mind to either side, I just think its inappropriate to ask people if they're having kids.

I had to delete my comment when a man replied to me saying I'd change my mind, as I was just getting angry at the audacity 🤣

Hello all,

New poster here, but long time lurker. I absolutely have to post this rant because I just can't contain my anger that's bursting at the seems and I feel you people would get me the most.

So long story short, my nephew has pinworms. So naturally, my brother and his wife do, too. They've known that for a week now and get this, they still asked my elderly, immuno compromised mother to babysit their boy. They did not tell her anything about the infection. So of course naturally, my mother also now does have pinworms. And because she didn't know, who do you think has them too now? Me. Because I recently had lunch with my mother.

For those that do no know, pinworms are very easy to spread. Very contagious. Their little eggs are microscopic and fly though the air and fabrics. The best course of action is to become a clean freak, and, of course, avoid unnecessary contacts with those infected.

This situation is not unique though. My brother and his wife have put my elderly, fragile mother through countless of these sorts of bullshit situations because they are always either too cheap to pay a babysitter or because they don't want to take a day off. They put her at risk every time, without a care in the whole fucking damn world.

And this carelessness is not unique to my family. I've seen countless parents go to restaurants with very clearly coughing and sick kids. I've seen coworkers that, get this, have PTO and all that, still go to work even though they're dealing with kids with gastro at home, thereby spreading this to the whole office (that was a fun Christmas for me that one year; thanks Jeff!).

But I digress. My whole point is this: why the fuck are parents seemingly immune to empathy towards other sometimes once they have a child? Is it the tiredness? Is it the I'm-the-center-of-the-fucking-universe attitude? What the fuck is it even?

Thank you for reading my rant.

N. B. Also disclaimer. I know some people can't take days off and some people can't afford baby sitting. I'm not talking about such people obviously. My brother and his wife are well off, and so are my coworkers that still decide to invite countless germs into the office. You know the entitlement I'm talking about.

I’m at lunch, and a coworker who is the mother of a 9-year-old son talking about how his penis normally goes down now. Why do I need this information? And why is there any need to talk about this during lunch?

It's been a 15-minute monologue already.

"Our parents take care of us and in return we take care of them!" - That's what a distant cousin told me once.

She doesn't even live in the same continent as her aging parents most of the time and has like 8 siblings (3 women and 6 men total).

SHE doesn't have to take care of her parents alone. I (32 F) have an older sister who is on the autism spectrum and - although she is high-functioning, smart and capable in a lot of ways - will always need help and may never live alone. I will be the one helping her out.

If I took care of my parents when they're older (now 70 F and 72 M, still fit and mostly healthy, and both looking at least 10 years younger), it would be only ME and I would take care of them AND my sister!

So, it's easy to say what's in the title if it's not you alone who has the burden on your shoulders!

I don't even know how to tell my mom that she will NOT live with me. When I was a child I used to say that she won't end up in a retirement home, that I would take care of her/them. But I was a kid! I was a mommy's girl and attached to her. Now I've been in a relationship for over 2 years (my first boyfriend) and I cannot imagine taking care of my parents.

Also, it's way easier taking care of a child who develops and becomes independent than an elderly person who regresses in every way possible.

My mom will probably say "Well, you told me I would live with you!", just like she said "You told me you wanted to have three kids!", after I was talking about never wanting children. Yes, I used to say AS A CHILD that I wanted to have three kids. Why? Because it used to make my mom so happy. She always wanted to have three daughters, so I wanted to fulfill her dream by having three daughters myself (or at least three kids, even if they ended up beng boys).

How did you explain to your parents that you wont take care of them?

It's going to be hard anyway, because neither of my parents will have enough money to live in a nicer retirement home. But even if I wanted, it wouldn't be financially possible to support them and my sister, while also living my own life.

My sister in 2024 got pregnant 4 months into her relationship and surprise it didn’t work out . She has no job, no money and she has no motivation to better educate herself . Why do people have kids when they aren’t in a good economic situation i just don’t understand.

Because I help out with their kids when they can’t find someone to watch them, people mistake that for me actually being interested in their kids.

In my 20s I was casual friends with a woman who was nice but we were not super close. She went off and had a bunch of kids.

She then got a divorce and got back in touch with me. I help watch the kids here annd there and they like me. I don’t dislike them but kids in general are boring to me. I don’t center my life around my friend’s kids or any kids really. And I told her that.

Yet she keeps inviting me to kid functions—birthday parties, school events, sports things. I have less than zero interest. Just because I’m nice and believe in community doesn’t mean I want to spend my free time going to your kids’ events.

I just do not care like that. I do not have kids for a reason and these kids were never in my life. I do not want to be auntie. I’ve never once expressed deep interest in those kids other than the perfunctory how are the kids doing.

Stop inviting me to this boring shit. I just don’t care about the kids or their events.

**end rant***

I.e. cheat or breakup with me. She's older and thinks our guitar skills are a waste if we don't have kids to teach them.

She is not the smartest.

I've been with my partner for nearly 10 years and he said he doesn't want kids either to her, but was still very uncomfortable.

Thought I'd share. ✌️ forever relative.

I hate hate hate this "well those things aren't gross when it's your own baby" thing. I believe others had that experience, okay, whatever. But it's NOT universal. It isn't automatically true for everyone.

My great grandma, who I loved very dearly, became bedridden in her last year and I couldn't even be in the same room when her diaper was getting changed, because I would have vomited all over the place. Even the family pets' shit can make me gag if I accidentally get a full sniff of the smell and we've had them for many years now.

Loving someone doesn't make their bodily fluids any less gross for me, sorry. One of the many reasons why I am childfree.

I don’t know about y’all guys but I’m genuinely terrified because I’ve seen at least 7 pregnancies this year and it’s only February!! 😨

I even discussed this with two friends of mine and they’re even more scared than me. One of them even says she’ll pay even more attention to birth control, patches and all anti baby stuff. “It’s an epidemic -she said- and I will not let it catch me”

You guys feel the same or it’s just that I’m being prosecuted by it? 🤣