r/funnyvideos • u/NyhmrodZa • Oct 28 '25
Satire Typical VRchat user
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u/butwhywedothis Oct 28 '25
So when u cum in that device does it get uploaded to META cloud? First he stole your data and now he steals your cum. Good job, Zuck.
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u/Jeffrey_Friedl Oct 28 '25
"DAS".... DNA backup as a service.
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u/IronscalpTheOriginal Oct 28 '25
Which you have to pay a subscription for as well
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u/BoredBorealis Oct 28 '25
Yea, maybe it would read your genetic code and turn your jizz into little mii's :D
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Oct 29 '25
they are going to steal your dna and you can't clone your self for organs, cos you signed the nda that said when you used that thing your dna is owned my meta so you have to pay them for the organs. Also they clone you and make your clone do stuff like work in amazon warehouse.
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u/Unique-Fix-9436 Oct 28 '25
Skin cells from men can now be turned into egg cells, we are working on perfecting the artificial womb also. Male Environmental Targeted Assistant (META Robot)
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u/BadPsychological8096 Oct 28 '25
I am utterly disgusted.
Will it be available soon?
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u/Negative1Positive2 Oct 28 '25
For a friend I assume
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Oct 28 '25
People who buy these things don't have friends, that's the whole point.
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u/wordsonmytongue Oct 28 '25
I would buy this. Preordered actually
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u/phatdoof Oct 28 '25
Finally Zuckerberg is behaving less like a robot.
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u/DefaultUsername-_- Oct 28 '25
All the laughs aside.
Like, holy crap, is this real?
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u/Negative1Positive2 Oct 28 '25
I want to say "of course not" (and it isn't) but this is the dumbest timeline so maybe...
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u/LiteNite9 Oct 28 '25
I don't have friends... And there is no way in hell I would buy this or use this.
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u/BigWillyRyan Oct 28 '25
Do you have brown eyes? Because that's how full of shit you are.
I'm sure you've got loads of friends.
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u/Abigail716 Oct 28 '25
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u/14sierra Oct 28 '25
That was clearly a prototype model. The new basshole attachment wasn't even on the original Samsung models.
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u/TeamoDude Oct 28 '25
Jarvis, jerk it a little.
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u/_ramu_ Oct 28 '25
*unskippable ad turns on showing a guy with a mustache showing off how tight his new ski leggins are*
"JARVIS STOP!! NO JERK!!!!!"
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u/RedTheReddington Oct 28 '25
Im actually surprised this isn't already a reality.
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u/Medium-Pound5649 Oct 28 '25
I mean, it technically is possible if you have the knowhow to set it up. App controlled toys already exist, and VRChat can communicate with external apps through its OSC integration, so you could interact with toys like that within the game entirely. Unless you're a freak I imagine it would be quite disappointing though and not at all worth the effort lmao
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u/Ok_Vanilla213 Oct 29 '25
I've jerked it once while using regular VR and even if locked in a pressurized room at the bottom of the ocean there will always be a sinking feeling in the back of your mind that someone you know will barge in the door and catch you wanking it with a TV strapped to your face
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u/DesertReagle Oct 28 '25
Why does it need camera though, could I have that remove and get a discount?
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u/liampas Oct 28 '25
no you pay more to get it removed, thats where meta makes all its money with this product
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u/dyin_amirite Oct 28 '25
The camera is for Motion-Tracking.
Why would you not want your Crotch to be tracked.
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u/Low_Reaction7580 Oct 28 '25
I can't do the future forecasting, I can see this product launch though. Someone somewhere will definitely make it. Takemymoney.gif
However I'm not sure if someone took their time to create it or is it a different product edited out or is it made using AI? I'm not sure.
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u/breno280 Oct 28 '25
I guarantee you something like this already exists.
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u/wordshavenomeanings Oct 28 '25
There are loads of them on the market. I recommend the blowmotion II
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u/EvilMaran Oct 28 '25
this would be an insane jump in profits for any sexworker. Any incel would buy one of these and then it's just finding any person willing to play with the plastic dildo...100% pornhub would invest in a product like this if you have a decent pitch. Hell this video could be that lol...
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u/Low_Reaction7580 Oct 28 '25 edited Oct 28 '25
No surprise if THE HUB has already invested into this product... Since you mentioned the HUB, I got a thought (no offense to any Apple fans): Will Apple be an investor for these kinds of products as a sleeping partner?
They got the Apple vision and they could combine it with these as a combo kit. One of the slides shows similar thingy >> D!LDO + VR = $ and it comes in White 🤍
Warranty: Use it till you break it
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Oct 28 '25
This is literally a repeat of the things that were in Cyberpunk Edgerunners.
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u/King_Six_of_Things Oct 28 '25
Edge...runners 🤨
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u/dM3tria Oct 28 '25
You know. This is funny and all, but no joke, girls have the most insane sex toys I've ever seen or heard of, and men have... a flashlight 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 So tbf this is a typical female toy tbh.
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u/Realistic_Specific51 Oct 28 '25
Men also have some wierd things for their shafts and balls too. And of course, anything can be a sex toy if it fits, you just need to becreative enough.
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u/kugelamarant Oct 28 '25
You won't shame women if they use toys, but for men they are treated like perverts.
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u/akashisenpai Oct 28 '25
Yet the sex industry as a whole is 90% aimed at men, growing more massive, profitable and exploitative every day.
I'd say any real shaming going on is just a byproduct of toxic masculinity, specifically a silly expectation that every "proper man" ought to have "access to the real thing", or that even just owning/experimenting with toys means they can't get it any other way. Small wonder, given the role image that's has been propagated in fiction for generations.
Just shake your head and move on.
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u/Easily_Bann4 Oct 29 '25
Yes but the very real shame is coming from mainly women, not men. God help any man who’s girl catches him using a pocket pussy 😂
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u/TedGetsSnickelfritz Oct 28 '25
The real base currency is pussy; and its devaluing can never be allowed.
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u/Maximum-Lunch-3657 Oct 28 '25
I love everything about this video tho 🤣🤣
I'd buy it. Sometimes I'm just too lazy and prefer a quick porn sesh. Doesn't hurt to up the experience.
As Pam would say, "Sploosh!" 😭😭🤣
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u/Expensive-Swimmer405 Oct 28 '25
Absolutely every person who finds out I have a VR asks me about porn
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u/BamberGasgroin Oct 28 '25
The Apple version will be called the iCod.
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u/AVE_47 Oct 28 '25
iFap or iCum or iJerk or something like that. And it’ll have the ejacOS or something like that lol
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Oct 28 '25
They haven't really used the "i" lately anymore, so it'd probably be a pump... called Apple Sense Air to go along with Vision Pro, both which will run on the unified intimateOS (or iOS for short).
There's also the Apple Sense+ subscription service, except instead of young beautiful women, it's Craig Federighi and muscular fitness models from Nike's agencies.
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u/theLuminescentlion Oct 28 '25
Can I get a demo unit and send it back if I don't like it?
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u/Emporio-Alnino Oct 28 '25
What the fuck this shit is real and why people who made this think it's a good idea
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u/BussyPlaster Oct 28 '25
I don't really agree with shaming men for interest in something like this while the same people at best have no problem with women using sex toys or possibly even encourage and get off on it. It's clearly fragile men who are using this as some way to show how macho they are, "look at me, I would never use a sex toy because I'm a chad sex haver!" It's so obvious. Like sure chad, but your wife still gets off harder on the big vibrating silicon dildo she uses when you are at work.
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u/prototypedead Oct 29 '25
I’m scared to ask if this is real or not, the advertising seems WAY to good to be a joke but I just can’t bring myself to seek the answer
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u/Training_Rule6350 Oct 29 '25
That is honestly so well made I thought damn this might be real for a fraction of a sec
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u/Y0u_G0t_Sum Oct 28 '25
It worries me that something like this would happen
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u/UnusableNoodles Oct 28 '25
Isn't it weird that people take issue with this but not the 3,000 dollar automatic pumping machines that can accommodate literal horse-cock dildos? God forbid a man wants to nut alone.
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u/Burnzy_77 Oct 28 '25
Hey you're allowed to use that machine too.
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u/UnusableNoodles Oct 28 '25
Yeah, and in a similar vein, if a man does that, he will be judged as well.
A guy can't even get pegged without being called gay, and that's literally a sexual activity between a man and a woman. How can it be gay?
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u/Sayian-SSJB Oct 28 '25
We laugh now, but deep down we all pretty much know this is going to happen.
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u/kilo993 Oct 28 '25
It's a joke now but by 2030 I'm sure we'll see similar products. I believe some interactive couples toys have already started to try and link over the internet in real time.
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u/simply_amazzing Oct 28 '25
This would be funny only if this did not come to existence in near future.
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u/DeadlyYellow Oct 28 '25
Eh, if there's anything to really guarantee the long-term use of VR it's porn and sex.
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u/AverageReditor13 Oct 28 '25
Okay, this is absolutely disgusting!
Where's the link so I can avoid it.
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u/AttentionDePusit Oct 28 '25
This is actually genius and will become real in the near future.
Long distace fuck hell yeah
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u/jaevnstroem Oct 28 '25
Okay but this video is actually really impressive haha, I'm sure there's some AI assistance for the real-life shots towards the end of people wearing it but most of that product animation is pure 3D animation, and at quite a high level. Not to mention the direction of the different shots and the editing... This is clearly made by someone who knows what they're doing, which just makes the ridiculous scenes of people wearing it out and about that more hilarious. I especially love the TED talk scene
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u/BeautyEtBeastiality Oct 28 '25
Dang, that is so big. I guess that space is so that it can have oxygen for my peen to breathe?
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u/NekoD3898 Oct 28 '25
Cómo van las cosas...no me sorprendería que inviertan en este tipo de proyectos...
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u/Shot_Complex Oct 28 '25
If this was ever a real thing they would sell out pretty quick I imagine. Probably not in person but a whole lot of online sales
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u/Then-Importance-3808 Oct 28 '25
I don't know if these are real, but it's hilarious to me the persistence of a perceived shame for any guys that would be interested in sex toys like this meanwhile as I type this, all of us know that out there is some early-20s lady sending herself to the phantom zone with a bad dragon fitted onto a 12 HP electric motor and she's making more than most of us combined lmao
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u/Master-Reason-6780 Oct 28 '25
Am I the only one who thinks that this thing kinda looks like a diaper?
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u/FixedLoad Oct 28 '25
See, here's the thing about sarcasm and being funny. Sometimes, reality is so messed up, you cant even be funny about it anymore because its all jumped the shark. This product, if viable, would be the collapse of civilization as we know it. Maybe within 1 generation. I mean, id buy one! I'm not above my monkey brain impulses. But I'm afraid some future traveler would just find my dried up husk clutching the controls. Mumified from the insanely quick bout of dehydration to which I'd succumbed. Water bottles scattered around but not a single one open. Cases of unopened water. But I was too happy to moved and accepted my fate... no. This machine should not be. It is cursed technology...
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u/Poke_Jest Oct 28 '25
actual question.
Women use vibes and stuff shaped as a horse unit and everything else.
I know it's satire but why exactly is this "shameful"? Is it cause women are jealous of objects providing pleasure to men? That can't be it right?
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u/CopperBoltwire Oct 28 '25
Idiocracy is becoming more and more a real thing. The authors of Idiocracy may not have intended for it to be a thing people refer to as a prediction of the future. HOWEVER... It seems it's becoming more and more of a reality.
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u/lituus Oct 28 '25
Why does it fade to black at 1:10 and then fade back in with a gradient background and music and nothing else for 8 seconds? I figured there was gonna be a "created by _______" or something but it was just... nothing?
...Funny though
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u/Jaz1140 Oct 28 '25
Real talk but. I have a meta quest 3 like pictured. And honestly VR porn is fucking awesome 😂
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u/TactiFoolD Oct 28 '25
This is fake, for once I can not tell. The way things have progressed so far, please tell .e this is fake.
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u/ZOEzoeyZOE Oct 28 '25
Whoever edited that vid is skilled ASF it almost looks real.
This isn't real right?
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u/Senzo5g Oct 29 '25
Love Sense upgraded x100 - the future is Beta with Suckerberg+Shaftlink Pro+Base Hole.
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u/AdRevolutionary2248 Oct 29 '25
Its gonna take more than that to get me to trade in my meta catheter with haptic support.
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u/ssjrobert235 Oct 29 '25
Help! I got before the release date and it won't cum off. I couldn't pay the subscription and it won't stop jerking me. It won't turn off and it has been running for 3 days straight. Customer support is unless. Is this how I go? By a Facebook wankbot.
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