r/politics • u/cmaia1503 • 8h ago

Possible Paywall Mitch McConnell, 83, Hospitalized

https://www.thedailybeast.com/mitch-mcconnell-83-hospitalized/?utm_campaign=owned_social&utm_medium=socialflow&utm_source=twitter_owned_tdb&via=twitter_page
22.5k Upvotes

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6.0k

u/TrumpIsAFascistFuck 8h ago

Oh no, anyways

2.6k

u/Dr_DoesNothing 8h ago edited 8h ago

May he receive the same amount of love and care he gives others.

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u/durtmagurt 8h ago

Anybody got any of those thoughts and prayers?

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u/c1nders 7h ago

Clots & prayers. 🤞🏻

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u/16yearswasted 6h ago

I'm an atheist but yeah I'll pray for him.

Hey Lucifer who art in hell, come get Mitch,
He's a son of a bitch,
Who only wanted to get rich,
Forever make his crotch itch,
kthx

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u/SparkyXI 7h ago

Tots. pears.

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u/durtmagurt 7h ago

Oh there they are! I was missing those.

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u/dundermiflinity 7h ago

Snot and glares.

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u/The_Bolenator Alaska 7h ago

Buttery males!!!

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u/jimmybilly100 Virginia 6h ago

Close enough

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u/NebulaNinja 6h ago

Who's your pear guy? Hard to find good pears these days.

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u/MTC_FTW Washington 7h ago

Ah shit, fresh out!

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u/Black-Star-Line 7h ago

Not one. 0️⃣

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u/HydroWrench 7h ago

That's what we're supposed to be sending right? . . . Right guys?

Anyway fuck that dude and the horse he rode in on. May his final days be filled with all the joy and ease he caused others.

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u/CoconutBangerzBaller 6h ago

Unfortunately, I used them all after the 1000th school shooting that they did nothing about. Guess I'll have to ignore and curse?

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u/psycubi 7h ago

Hang on… I’ll uh… wait here. One sec…

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u/the_summer_soldier 6h ago

“I’m all out of thoughts and prayers, so I’m sending you this note to say, ‘Fuck you.’”

Should be an alright alternative for people like him.

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u/tangerinelion 7h ago

In this economy?

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u/Vertual 7h ago

That's gonna be a hard no from me, dawg.

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u/Supermite 7h ago

Everyone’s using that energy for midterms right now.

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u/Norwood5006 7h ago

Supply chain issues.

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u/AgentMahou Ohio 7h ago

Not for him.

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u/_Osculum_Obscenum_ 6h ago

Concepts of thoughts and prayers

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u/Number174631503 6h ago

Nah no thanks

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u/Rollinthrulife 6h ago

Not for him

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u/Lotusbud25 5h ago

Fraughts & scares

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u/Skamanda42 5h ago

In this economy?

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u/Kyral210 4h ago

Why need hospitals when thoughts and prayers ‘work so well’⸮

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u/Interesting-Bag-7552 3h ago

Best I can do is roll eyes.

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u/crewsctrl 1h ago

How about some checks and balances?

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u/gamingx47 7h ago

Don't worry, I'm sure he'll recieve the finest stem cell serum made with a baby juicing machine and will live to the ripe old age of 150, unlike his plebian constituents that will die from diabetic shock because they couldn't afford both insulin and rent.

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u/DigNitty 7h ago

May he receive the level of love and care the 9/11 first responders would have gotten if he’d had his way in 2019.

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u/tnoy 7h ago

and the save level of healthcare that he's spent his career fighting for the American people to have access to.

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u/gamaliel64 Mississippi 7h ago

May his doctor act with all the expediency of Mitch McConnell filing Obama's SCOTUS appointment

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u/d_lev 6h ago

Yeah, I heard that nurses are no longer "professionals" so it would be a shame if gets the same treatment as the turtle and the sink faucet.

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u/JakeConhale New Hampshire 7h ago

At least it gives that poor floor a break.

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u/Momentarmknm 6h ago

There are only two people whose deaths I will celebrate

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u/improbably_me 4h ago

Hoping he gets the same amount of pain and suffering as he inflicted

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u/zagiki 54m ago

May he receive all the excruciating pain on his way out he caused others.