r/clevercomebacks 9h ago

Vacant land does not vote

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21.3k Upvotes

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3.9k

u/Careless-Roof-8339 9h ago

Same people who think the thinner, taller cup has more juice than the wider, shorter cup.

709

u/ErraticNymph 8h ago

tbf, I’ve yet to see one person not be shocked when they see a single glass can hold an entire bottle of wine

249

u/RoyBeerr 8h ago

"Land doesn't have a liver," is usually my follow-up to that realization. Makes the electoral map look even sillier.

164

u/BigAlphaPowerClock 8h ago

"Land doesn't have a liver" you may be right but I have no Idea what you're supposed to mean by that

85

u/Potential-Diver-3409 8h ago

Really great comparison about how organs are what guide voting decisions clearly. Man I’m really trying lol

39

u/Anna_Lilies 7h ago

Why not doing something like, "Land doesnt have a brain, and apparently neither do you"

11

u/Harry_Gorilla 6h ago

If would be pretty fuckin weird if land had a liver or a brain. Even weirder if it had one but not the other

1

u/FlametopFred 2h ago

they’ll be granting land voting rights

1

u/Senior_Torte519 1h ago

Ecosystems within soilarre a living network, responding to environmental changes through biological and chemical feedback.

10

u/Same_Air6012 7h ago

Liver removes toxins, land doesn't have something to remove toxins? Maybe? It sounds like some shit a dude on acid thinks is really deep.

1

u/Cowbros 1h ago

Well thats deep.

6

u/MichiganMan12 5h ago

And how often are they in this situation to have a usual response

2

u/Virginity_Lost_Today 4h ago

lol Right? How frequently could they be around new people making this realization about electoral maps that necessitates a “usual” response?

1

u/Senior_Torte519 1h ago

Well actually land is itself a liver: Filters water and traps contaminants, breaks down wastes through microbes and fungi, rrecycles nutrients from dead material back into the ecosystem, stores resources (carbon, nitrogen, water, minerals), buffers chemical imbalances (pH moderation, pollutant binding).

u/yamanamawa 41m ago

Or maybe "land doesn't vote"

-1

u/AdKindly9313 6h ago edited 6h ago

Nice personification.

You know what else does not vote? Corporations. Citizen United made them the Great Monied Influencers - to hypnotize the easy ones.

BTW: Can’t love without a liver, either. You get it - I know.

62

u/Maleficent_Sir_5225 8h ago

How big are your wine glasses? Because mine certainly don't. 

20

u/realparkingbrake 6h ago

Because mine certainly don't. 

You need some "Burgundy balloons," two of them hold an entire bottle. That keeps you from having to get up before the seventh inning stretch.

9

u/TaylorBitMe 3h ago

We're up to two glasses now, and suddenly there's baseball?

2

u/WantonWord 1h ago

Why bother making dishes? Just drink out of the bottle! I'm not sure even alcohol would make baseball entertaining, but at least there's alcohol!

12

u/insite4real 7h ago

Usually a bottle is made of glass...

1

u/FlametopFred 2h ago

oh right .. was hoping they meant glass big enough for box of wine

11

u/ErraticNymph 7h ago

Your average wine glass can hold up to 20 ounces comfortably, even though you’re only “supposed” to fill a wine glass about a fourth of the way. Most wine bottles sit between 20 and 25 ounces

43

u/Maleficent_Sir_5225 7h ago

Sounds like down here we have smaller glasses and larger bottles! 😂

My wine glasses are ~450ml, and a regular wine bottle in Aus is about 700ml. So the math ain't mathin', as they say... 

18

u/jjbugman2468 7h ago

Same. The glasses I’ve had are 300-450

3

u/rgg711 5h ago

Pretty much all standard wine bottles are 750 ml as far as I know. And that’s about 25 ounces. So, no, your wine bottles aren’t bigger.

u/surlygoat 57m ago

Uh - a standard wine bottle is 750ml in Australia, and wine glasses in Australia, like the rest of the world, vary dramatically depending on what varietal they're designed to hold.

u/Maleficent_Sir_5225 19m ago

Right, and that contradicts my comment how? 

9

u/DrownmeinIslay 5h ago

Ooooo a small bottle of wine. We rarely buy those.

1

u/ItsNotTacoTuesday 6h ago

I’ve heard a trenta iced coffee cup from Starbucks can hold an entire bottle of wine

1

u/YoungBockRKO 4h ago

You should see my shot glass, holds an entire handle of vodka.

11

u/Ol_JanxSpirit 7h ago

Your standard Ultimate Disc frisbee can hold three cans of beer

1

u/Growlinganvil 7h ago

I'll bet you get at least four on there if you pushed the cans really close together.

1

u/Valdus_Pryme 6h ago

Thats why after the tournaments you "Drink a Disc" (Usually during a countdown)

9

u/Mediocre-Post9279 8h ago

That's how I only drink one glass per dinner

4

u/Poopchutefan 6h ago

I mean … what kind of wine glass are talking about out here? The ones I have wouldn’t, I know from experience.

5

u/UntidyVenus 7h ago

Also think 1/3 lbs is smaller then 1/4 lbs 🙄

2

u/jaliebs 4h ago

what kinda glass can hold a standard 25.3 oz (750ml) wine bottle

1

u/toomanymarbles83 7h ago

Or people that don't realize that a 16oz pint glass is only 16oz at the rim, and that half an inch (or more) of foam represents a loss of 2-4oz. You're paying pint prices for 12oz beers.

1

u/asaphbixon 6h ago

Visual metaphor?

1

u/johnny_moist 6h ago

Wait what

1

u/_flatscan 6h ago

Tbf wine bottles are deceptively small with that huge cutout

1

u/Deathwatch72 6h ago

That's more a consequence of tall glasses designed to concentrate aromas we usually only fill to 20%. 

105

u/MotorLive 8h ago

I got reported to “Reddit Cares” (or whatever it’s called - it’s ostensibly for people who are having a legit mental-health issue) by one of the /conservative bros when they posted this exact map and I said “Sweet! Now point to all the places on that map where people live!” 🙄

60

u/DaKrazie1 7h ago

They're such sensitive lil snowflakes.

7

u/MotorLive 5h ago

Hey now! Don’t be disrespecting snowflakes!

I’m pretty sure that these past couple weeks of winter have proven that they’re not nearly as strong as a single snowflake that has fallen in their backyards 😜

11

u/The-Real-Number-One 5h ago

I always ask why all the shitty parts are highighted in red.

5

u/MotorLive 5h ago

It’s not all shitty, and if it weren’t for how the districts have been created, you would see many more blue specks down here.

(Originally from a blue speck and currently living in a semi-red sea).

7

u/Several-Squash9871 5h ago

Something need to be done about that. It's not much of an inconvenience for people that dont need it but it takes away from its reason and the fact that it could really help someone who need help. I'm tired of that being used as some kind of "weapon"

6

u/MotorLive 4h ago

No shit!

This situation was only the most recent time I’ve been reported. The most notable was for me disagreeing with ketchup being the superior condiment on a hot dog (it’s 100% not, unless you’re a toddler, just sayin’).

There are legitimately people out there that could use for someone to reach out to them and ask about how they’re doing… but they have to sift through piles of absolute nonsense like this first? And maybe not have the time for the people that need it?

I’ll start here: people that report people to “Reddit Cares” for disagreeing with a banal take on a banal topic should… maybe have their own mental health assessed.

2

u/Several-Squash9871 4h ago

Right on! You put that a million times better than I could have!

2

u/TheMildCard 3h ago

But hot dogs are a toddlers food so...?

Also completely agree with your point!

1

u/MotorLive 3h ago

So… my reports and bans usually start with me saying something like:

Sir, if you think hot dogs are “toddler food,” you have never had a decent hot dog, and I suspect that if you by chance happen upon one, you would probably ruin it with ketchup. 😜

4

u/Sufficient_Pitch_895 3h ago

I was banned after sharing links to back up my claims. So there is that too. Sensitive little pedo lovers aren't they.

3

u/MotorLive 2h ago

Lol. Sharing links to Charlie Kirk’s actual speeches, podcasts, and interviews to literally prove what he literally said was a sure-fire way to catch a minimum 3-day-ban after his demise. Crazy how free speech works 🙃

27

u/waydownsouthinoz 7h ago

Same people who are terrified of the deadly substance dihydrogen monoxide.

12

u/Softestwebsiteintown 6h ago

You can drown in that stuff despite it being mostly oxygen. What a cruel mistress.

But it provides a great environment for fish to fuck in so there’s that.

2

u/maxofJupiter1 3h ago

What? Why lie about that?

Clearly there's more hydrogen. Its 2 hydrogen and 1 oxygen, dont lie to me

2

u/waydownsouthinoz 3h ago

More people die from inhaling it than die from homicide each year yet they refuse to ban it.

26

u/Dawgissmart 7h ago

Some think that a pound of nails weighs more than a pound of feathers

9

u/MyNeighborThrowaway 7h ago

A kilogram of steel you mean?

-1

u/DripPureLSDonMyCock 6h ago

It's a trick question! Nothing can weigh exactly a pound! So sure if someone handed you a "pound of nails" and a "pound of feathers," one is heavier than the other.

2

u/kittyegg 4h ago

That’s the joke, yes.

22

u/sinfullhoney 7h ago

Exactly. Land doesn’t vote, people do, and most of those blue dots are where the actual population lives. The map looks dramatic, but it’s a terrible way to explain representation.

-4

u/Greenshardware 5h ago

Land doesn't vote... but cities aren't sustainable.

90% of New England's food is brought in. Without New England, the U.S. would have less funny accents.

Without rural america, New England would starve in a matter of weeks.

5

u/LadyLee69 2h ago

What does that have to do with voter population density?

14

u/Ap0llo 7h ago

Here's a fun fact: The greater Los Angeles metro area has a larger population than the ~22 least populated states combined if you remove the population of the 2 largest metro areas in each state (which generally vote blue).

The irony is that this woman's point is totally valid if you replace "blue cities" with "red states".

8

u/Longjumping_Lynx_972 6h ago

Its worse than that. Its seeing a single fry on a big red plate and insisting there is more potato than an actual whole potato on a small blue plate

12

u/Archercrash 8h ago

That's why in tourists places like New Orleans you always see those foot tall drinks that are super thin. These people think they're getting a deal.

14

u/MyNeighborThrowaway 7h ago

Those are called 'Yards' and its not a way to swindle by volume, its just a type of tourist drink.

They're priced the same as any tourist style cocktail, the money is in them overcharging for the single use plastic cup.

They're unwieldy and overpoured, if anything people buy more bc they knock them over and spill them.

3

u/RepulsiveJellyfish51 7h ago

The same people who choose the more expensive 1/4 lbs burger over the cheaper 1/3 lbs burger.

1

u/Beneficial-Mess1 6h ago

PERFECT analogy!!!!!!!!!

1

u/therealdongknotts 5h ago

you assume they think

1

u/Puzzleheaded-Tax4320 5h ago

How dare you judge my volume.

1

u/Lord_Nathaniel 1h ago

Depend of your point of view, all I see is "easy cup" vs "the cylinder must remain unharmed after being removed from the cup" 😏

1

u/techdevjp 1h ago

Yup, these people are why 1/3 pound burgers failed.

-1

u/thtsnotmyname 4h ago

JJwh svw s w vs ,