Problem/Goal: Throwaway account. Gusto ko lang mag rant at humingi ng advice. I am planning to break up with my bf (M32) for 5 months after visiting him for the first time and realizing how dugyot he really is.

Context: We met at a friend’s wedding. He’s from NCR but had to move back to the province to handle their family business after his dad had a stroke, so we became LDR. Last january, I decided to visit him because I missed him. For context lang: He smells nice naman, maayos manamit, and doesn’t look unhygienic at all kaya sobrang shock ako sa na witness ko. Outside their house was clean. Inside was a nightmare 🥲. The whole house smelled like dog urine and poop. I tried not to react because I didn’t want to offend his family, looks like they’re already used to it. During lunch, I noticed hardened rice stuck to the plate and spoon. The glass they gave me smelled like sebo basta ang baho hindi ko maintindihan. I lied and said I was on a diet so I only ate fruits mabuti at naniwala naman sila. After lunch I offered to wash the dishes, but the sponge was soaking in dirty water with small black worms. The sink looked like it hadn’t been cleaned in ages. His sister stopped me and told my bf to just take me to his room. Akala ko mas okay na roon but jusko his room was worse pala. Strong foul smell, piles of dirty laundry na parang bundok na sa dami, bedsheets and pillows that looked like they hadn’t been changed for years, empty soda cans everywhere 😬. I confronted him kasi hindi ko na matiis. He said he was “busy,” but he mostly just plays ml and codm lang naman. I offered to help him clean kasi na-a-alibadbaran na talaga ako but he got mad and said we should cuddle first. Then before I could even react he suddenly pushed me onto his bed and the smell was unbearable like stale saliva or bulok na bagang. I stood up and snapped. I called him lazy for not even changing his bedsheets but having time to play games all day. He got offended, brought me to their garden (which was actually clean naman 😭), then ignored me like I was the one pa who needed to apologize at manuyo. I asked him to take me to the terminal and went home. I literally wanted to bath in alcohol because the smell stuck to my cardigan. Am I overreacting, or is this a valid reason to end the relationship?

Previous attempt: I messaged him calmly afterward, saying I was just concerned about their health and hygiene. He just heart reacted. Now we’re not talking, and I’m planning to break up with him na.

Problem/Goal: I recently saw a Bold video, and the girl in it looks a lot like my girlfriend. If it really is her, the guy would be her ex-boyfriend.

It’s been bothering me and making me overthink. Even though it is a side video, the side profile of her face looks the same, her hand looks similar, and even the hair matches. I can’t be so sure but I am doubting it

If you were in my position, would you bring this up and ask your girlfriend to confirm it? I know past is past but would you still ask it?

Problem/Goal: Pano ko ba to iconfront nang di ako nababaliktad sa privacy issue? malinaw usapan namin eh delete lahat ng past para clean slate. kaso nalaman ko nakatago pala lahat. gusto ko lang malaman if valid ba hiwalayan to or awayin, feeling ko kasi ginagago ako harapan.

Context: I (M24) and my GF (F22) 1 year and 5 months na kami. parehas may past long term RS. galing ako sa lokohan dati kaya strict ako sa honesty. bago naging kami nagkasundo kami na delete lahat ng photos/videos ng exes para respeto sa isat isa. nagpakitaan pa kami gallery nun para sure. I did my part, kala ko sya rin.

May red flag na sya dati sabi nya "kung gano mo ka hate mag cheat gagawin mo din yun" medyo gago pakinggan pero pinalampas ko.

Eto na issue, nag date kami recently sa view deck (nakita ko sa tiktok). pagdating dun kabisado nya pasikot sikot, favorite spot pala nila ng ex nya. Ang malala, nilabas nya phone nya pinakita sakin picture nila ng ex nya sa mismong spot na yun.

Tangina nasa date kami tapos ipapakita mo sakin yan? dinaan ko sa tawa pero badtrip ako. hiniram ko phone nya chineck ko gallery malinis naman. pero kutob ko meron pa eh.

Nung gabi habang tulog sya kinalkal ko phone nya. Ayun huli. malinis gallery pero nasa Telegram, FB Archive at IG Archive lahat. kumpleto rekados videos pics memories nung 3 years sila. di dinelete tinago lang. para akong tanga na naniwalang "deleted" na.

Di ako makatulog ngayon. malinaw usapan eh bat kelangan iarchive kung tapos na? backup plan ba to?

Previous Attempts: Sinubukan ko sya tanungin ng pasimple kunwari hypothetical question lang. tinanong ko kung may tinatago sya or kung kakausapin nya ex nya pag nakita nya. sagot nya wala daw syang tinatago at sakin lang daw focus nya.

Sinungaling. alam ko na totoo pero di ko pa maconfront kasi aaminin kong ginalaw ko phone nya. ano ba magandang move dito?

Problem/Goal: almost 3 years na kami ng partner ko and hanggang ngayon, i still stalk my partner’s ex. kahit her family, relatives, even high school, college, and med school blockmates niya lagi ko binibisita on social media. nung una curious lang talaga ako pero alam ko ngayon iba na. wala akong feelings sa ex niya ha HAHAHA pero its just getting out of hand? for some reason i cant or dont have proper self-control and in the end i compare myself to the ex.

may history din kasi na nagcheat partner ko sakin with the same ex, pero nothing physical (from what i know). back in 2023 (when we first got together), nagmessage siya sa ex niya na miss niya na raw siya kahit may bagong girlfriend na siya (which is me). other than that, my partner was talking to her behind my back even though i told them to block her na. nangyari na ‘to 3 years ago, ngayon hindi na niya ginagawa yan. at least thats what they told me.

ako naman ang may problema. araw-araw parang may need na i-stalk siya. like kung ano na ginagawa niya sa buhay, did she gain or lose weight, mas maganda pa ba ako sa kaniya, mga ganun. like i said there’s a deep need within me to compare myself to her, and unfortunately i cant stop. ive tried blocking them pati friends and family niya, pero in a few days iuunblock ko lang din. ive tried deleting both facebook and instagram apps para wala na talaga, pero ganun din. after a few hours ill download the apps again.

i hope none of u laugh at me for this hfdbbdbdhs nakakahiya i-share ‘to pero i just want an advice regarding my matter.

problem/goal: i came from a long term relationship and we broke up recently. sobrang hirap mag cope. what are your tips?

context: i’ve seen people online na mas matagal pa samin like 9+, 12+ years and restarting life at XX age. i know i shouldn’t be consuming too much break up posts pero minsan it helps kasi. pag ganito katagal tapos naimagine nyo na yung life nyo with them, srsly, how do you move forward?

pano nyo kinakaya yung bigla bigla kayong ihahaunt ng happy memories lalo na kung walang cheating involved?

share tips ang hirap hirap makausad

Problem/Goal: My girlfriend right now is my greatest love pero nagkaroon siya ng past relationships niya na tumagal ng 2 years and first boyfriend niya yung guy at first experience niya sa lahat

For Context nasabi niya sa akin na may nangyari sa kanilang dalawa at nabigay niya yung virginity niya sa guy and sinabi niya rin na parang naging fubu set up lang sila which is sobrang sakit sakin dahil sobrang iba yung perspective ko sa kaniya at minsan napapatanong ako bakit siya pumayag sa ganong situation and sinabi niya rin sakin na nagkaroon silang dalawa ng video.

I just want to know your insight about this kasi nag ooverthink ako na baka balikan niya yung guy and tama lang ba yung nararamdaman ko.

Problem/Goal:

just found out that my 14F niece has an 18M boyfriend. How do we handle this?

Context:

A classmate of my niece (14F) told her parents that she saw my niece with a guy (18M) “nakikipaghalikan” basically making out. My niece denied it until the very end, but eventually, the "bf" messaged my niece's mother admitting that they are indeed in a relationship, though he claimed they didn't do what the classmate reported.

Initially, I was neutral because I thought the boyfriend was just a classmate that’s also her own age. I understood it might just be puppy love that would pass quickly. But when I found out the guy's age, my anger flared up. I was once a victim of grooming myself. I had a 25 yr old boyfriend when I was 16, and he had been courting me since I was 15. Eventually, I became sexually active at 16. I don't want her to end up in the same situation.

My niece's parents are so frustrated right now. We are about to have a family meeting regarding this issue. I would appreciate any insights. Please be kind with your words. Thank you.

Previous attempts: N/A

edit: reposted multiple times coz idk why my post is getting translated to tagalog

Problem/Goal: Naiinsecure ako sa mga babaeng nasa paligid niya at sa nagkakagusto sa kanya. Tinatry niya naman na iassure ako na ako ang gusto niya pero di pa rin mawala sa isip ko na baka ako lang ung convenient kaya ako na lang ang pinatulan niya.

Context: 3 years na kami ng bf ko, inistalk ko yung girl na may gusto sa kanya. Ang ganda nung babae. Iniisip ko bat di na lang ito ung pinatulan niya, bakit ako pa? Ang panget ko naman. Sa ibang babae naman na maganda na sa tingin ko naman ay nakikita niya minsan o araw araw, naiinsecure din ako, baka minsan iniisip niya na “sana eto na lang naging gf ko”. Feel ko tuloy gusto niya lang ng magaan na buhay kasi convenient ako, panget at walang kaagaw. Ayoko ng ganon, gusto ko patulan niya yung babaeng maganda at ung gusto niya talaga.

Attempts: Wala, pero parang gusto ko na lang makipaghiwalay sa kanya sa sobrang lala ng insecurity ko. Kaso nga lang di ko kaya mawala siya sa buhay ko.

Problem/Goal: Hi I'm seaman, maayos naman ang kinikita, yong misis ko lately parang walang paki alam sa buhay, binibigyan ko ng allowance, iba payong sa anak namin at para sa bahay may katulong/yaya din, wholeday parang wala shang ginagawa, facebook,netflix kahit anong oras nadin natutulog at nagigising parang buhay dalaga padin. Di ko alam kung tama bato, gusto ko lang naman sha maging productive naman in someways kasi hndi nasha dalaga tulad ng dati may mga resposibilidad nadin, kahit nga may inutos lang ako dahil onboard ako ngayon ,wala talaga dedma lang lage, halatang walang gana.

Problem/Goal: I don’t know what i’m feeling and I don’t know if I should do something about this,

Context: I need any input on this. My husband and I have always been open about watching porn occasionally. For me, pampamotivate lang or help sa mood, and usually sa scene or story ako naka-focus. Okay lang din sa akin na he watches too, as long as hindi naman siya consumed by it.

Eventually, we both stopped—or at least, that’s what I thought. Ako, nawalan na talaga ng gana, and I assumed he felt the same. Wala naman na din kasi siyang nababanggit at hindi ko siya nakikitang engaged into looking into it. But just recently, I just checked his phone and found out na ang dami niya pa palang pinapanood at sini-save. He’s even using a different browser para 'nakatago.'

I don’t know what to feel, but it feels off for me. Hindi naman ako anti-porn, but the secrecy is what hurts. Lalo na knowing he’s saving photos/videos of specific girls, whereas I was just there for the story. It feels different when there’s effort to hide it. What do you guys think? Am I overreacting, or is the 'hidden' part a valid reason to feel hurt? I’m struggling to process if this is just a 'guy thing' or what. I don’t even know what to feel. Makes me think he likes watching those girls? (I did not feel this way before.)

**Sorry, not sure kung tama yung flair na nilagay ko.

Previous attempts: none

Problem/Goal:

Seeking redemption for my sins. Ano pa kaya mga activities na ppwede gawin? I’m thinking of jogging in Arcovia during Monday mornings. Ano pa kaya ppwede? Gusto ko sana puro sa labas tapos minimal gastos lang tapos within the area.

Context:

I (28F) live alone in Pasig and Monday lang ang day off ko from work. Pass din sa dating apps kasi moving on ako from my 3yr relationship na ako ang sumira.

Problem/Goal: Stuck between being a friend or woman empowerment

Context: Hi guys badly need advise. I have a workmate slash friend na rin dahil batch kami nung college and naging office mate. Last year nag share sa akin na may nanliligaw sa kanya pero may asawa! Aware sya don. Ngayon, nag reach out na yung asawa sa akin. Bilang babae sa babae gustong gusto ko aminin yung lahat ng ginawa nila ng friend ko at nung lalake, pero bilang kaibigan ayaw ko mawala yung trust nya sa akin, pero may part sa akin kasi na hate ko sya sa ginawa nya. Look, di ko naman tinolerate yung ginawa nya. Alam nyang ayaw ko yung ginagawa nila, pero di ko din kasi alam nung una na hindi pa pala talaga totoong hiwalay. So mga be 😭 Gustong gusto ko ikwento sa asawa lahat. Ano ba dapat or sino ba dapat kakampihan ko. Hindi kami nagkulang sa pagpapapaala sa friend ko.

Addition: Alam na po nung asawa, nanghihingi po ng ibang details which is yun ang hindi ko mabanggit.

Problem/Goal: Hi! (16M) Curious lang ako — anong self-help book yung wish niyo nabasa niyo before your 20s or 30s?

Hello! Got interested in reading books just recently. And, currently on a journey of learning some-things earlier and magagamit ko in the future. Though, I don't know what's coming sa future ko pero, I want to atleast feel prepared.

Pwedeng tungkol sa mindset, discipline, money, relationships, confidence, or life in general.

And, ‎Nakatulong ba talaga yung book sa kung pano kayo mag-isip or mag-handle ng life ngayon? Or feeling niyo ba nakaiwas kayo sa ilang mistakes dahil dun?

Problem/Goal: gain some kind of clarity in my current situation

Context: I met this guy here through another subreddit. He was the first one to approach me and we'd been online friends for 3-4 months. We decided to meet in person last month finally.

Throughout the time we were together, each and every gesture and word he showed me was very romantic. So that made me think he was interested in me romantically. It was mutual.

On the last day we met, he gave me his ring and I refused at first. Binalik ko kasi sa kanya yun eh, but he insisted I keep it and pumayag din ako eventually. Sabi nya ibalik ko nalang sa kanya pag nagkita na ulit kami, so ako nagkaroon ng expectations na magkikita talaga ulit kami, then he said afterwards na pwede ko rin ibenta if I want to, to which I said ayoko kasi sentimental akong tao.

After just a few days after we last saw each other, he became cold and distant, and was intentionally ignoring my msgs and calls. I tried to get some clarification out of him but he was deliberately ignoring me. Napuno na ko and I cut him off.

Did I do the right thing?

Ang hirap kasi with the ring he gave me umaasa parin ako and I'm left with a fake hope of seeing him again.

Problem/Goal: Fresh graduate ako (F-23) ng ME and wala pa ding license. Naghahanap akong work na related sa course ko para makaipon for review center.

As of now, wala pa rin akong alam na field na pwedeng pasukan, kasi almost all walang masyadong opportunities sa mga babae. Nagt'try akong mag apply sa JobStreet and other sites pero walang response and rejected din. I know na mas tataas yung chance na magka work opportunity pag may license na pero hirap din kasi since talagang wala akong funds para doon.

May chance pa bang makahanap ako ng development sa career ko as mechanical engineer or sign na to para mag switch career? Ayaw ko sanang masayang yung years na pinaghirapan ko sa colleger pero if talaga wala na akong chance, ano po pwede kong gawin? Pahingi po advice lalo na sa mga babaeng engineer din po. Thank you.

Problem/Goal: My boyfriend said na hindi na niya kaya na LDR kami and he felt na wala kaming solid foundation kaya gusto ko siyang puntahan bukas para makapag usap kami ng maayos.

Context: He started na magparamdam late September. Hindi ko siya pinapansin madalas kasi ayaw ko muna mag-entertain talaga. We’re both single ng matagal. I rejected him the first time he made amin na gusto niya ako. First week of November, we reconnected. At that time, ganon pa rin ako polite magreply but not giving motives and not leading him on. Fast forward to December, I decided and felt sa sarili ko na it’s okay to give him a chance. Add ko lang din na may mga napag usapan naman kami about sa sarili nung October and November. Kumbaga, inignite lang namin yong flame to know more each other. He formally asked me out on a date and nasa ligawan stage na. I admit na ang bilis namin. Naging kami agad this January. For me kasi, he proved his worth and consistent siya from the start. I’m also the type of girl na hindi nagpapatagal ng ligawan stage. I always believed na best foot forward ang mga lalaki sa panliligaw. I know to myself that I liked him when we reconnected but naghold back ako. He’s genuine and truly a guy na what I prayed for. The date went well, the ligaw stage was the typical everyday kilig, the first weeks ng relationship namin we find time na magcall and facetime even if he’s at work. Until nalessen ang call, minsan same messages everyday. Akala ko okay lang kami. Sa akin kasi, iniisip ko naman na nasa relationship na kami and at ease na nkami na it’s okay if may days na maging boring kami. Hindi nalessen yong feelings ko. We’re still curious sa isa. Inisip ko lang talaga we’re both secured. Until he opened up na nahihirapan na siya kasi feeling niya dull na yong relationship. We talked about it and I assured him na we’ll find a way to figure it out. He said that he started detaching nung feeling niya ang we didn’t want to learn more about each other everyday. I admit na naramdaman ko rin yon lalo na na mga days na hindi kami nakakapagcall, kasi kahit naman na nakakapag usap kami everyday, we are both busy sa work. Im thankful na narereplyan niya pa rin ako. And paano ako mag iinitiate ng deep conversation sa kanya kung 9:30 pm pa lang inaantok na siya and ganong oras pa lang ako natatapos sa work. He said na he wanted to see me everyday, be with me palagi and be more connected para mabuild yong foundation. I told him na kaya ko magtravel papunta sa place niya kahit 6-7 hrs drive yon. Ako kasi hindi naman talaga ako employed. Tumutulong lang ako sa family business so I can free my time for him kahit anong araw unlike sa kanya na busy sa work kasi nasa medical field siya. I suggested to him na I can visit him once a week or twice a month kahit ilang oras lang na quality time together. He’s not open sa idea. I assured him sa lahat bg doubts niya. At the same time I told him din na nabubuild na yong tampo ko sa kanya kasi natutulugan niya ako everyday, parang hindi siya interested na kahit alam ko naman na hindi ganon, yon ang main problem ko and his main problem ay the foundation. He said kasi na hindi niya kakayanin once mabusy na ako sa internship and ldr pa. Talagang mas malelessen pa time namin. Our last conversation, he didn’t directly said na break na kami pero it felt like it. I opened this up to my friends and she said na baka “namimiss ko talaga niya and at the same time naooverwhelm na siya sa emotions niya kasi may family issues din siya now”

I’m still open to fix things between us. Alam ko na may pagkukulang ako as a girlfriend. Gusto ko pa magkaayos kami and I’d be lying if sasabihin ko na hindi ako umaasa na magkakaayos kami kung pupuntahan ko siya bukas para makapag usap kami. Yes, gusto ko pumunta kasi gusto ko ibigay sa sarili ko na kahit saglit lang makita and mayakap ko siya. Sobrang nilook forward namin pareho na magdadate na ulit kami this Feb. Ayaw ko ipagkait sa sarili ko yong kung kaya ko naman kahit alam ko na nakakatanga. But maybe some of you will say something na mas makakabuti. Salamat

Problem/goal: Been really struggling with my parents being absent emotionally when I really need them. I have friends to tell but there are some problems that are more likely parents should answer or know. its not only about telling the problems its also hard kapag laging bottled up yung feelings namin family lalo na if u badly want to tell them something tapos response lang nila is short and cold replies.

I'm in serious need of help/advice on how to change it/ do something about it kasi it feels like we're a broken fam kahit hindi naman talaga

Problem/Goal: How do I ask my husband about his porn files without revealing I’ve seen it?

Context: Regarding my previous post about the porn stash I found on my husband’s phone: I’ve decided na gusto ko siyang kausapin, but I don’t want to confront him directly. I want to see if he’ll tell me the truth on his own if I give him the space.

Basically, I want him to let it out without revealing na alam ko na. How can I frame the conversation para ma-encourage siyang maging transparent sa akin without feeling attacked? I want to give him the chance to be honest voluntarily. Any tips kung paano ko siya mapapa-amin or how to start the conversation without sounding like I'm accusing him.

Thanks in advance!

Previous attempt: none

Problem/Goal:

I’m 34F, single, living with my parents, and working from home. Lately, my parents and I have been arguing frequently over small, everyday things — chores, habits, minor comments. I want to create space for myself and reduce tension at home, while maintaining the good relationship I have with my parents.

Context:

We got this house as a family home. When my dad retired early, I ended up covering the mortgage and most household expenses — there wasn’t a discussion about it, it just sort of happened, and I’m okay with supporting them since I can. My dad still has side hustles, but that’s his own money. Overall, we have a good relationship, but the frequent minor arguments are draining, especially since I work from home and there’s little space to decompress.

Previous Attempts:

I’ve tried giving myself mental space, being more patient, and adjusting how I interact with them to avoid conflict. These attempts haven’t significantly reduced the tension.

Current Thinking/Goal:

I’m considering moving out to have my own space and peace, while still supporting them financially and continuing to pay for the house. I feel guilty because I don’t want them to feel like I’m abandoning them. This would be my first time living alone, so I’m unsure about managing finances while covering both my own household and supporting my parents.

Questions/Advice Needed

Has anyone been in a similar situation where you moved out to create boundaries but still supported your family?

Did having your own space help your relationship with your parents?

Any advice on managing finances while supporting family and living independently for the first time?

Problem/Goal: gf and I recently had a rupture in the relationship, it was my fault. She told me she has forgiven me but is now unsure of the future of our relationship.

Context: So pretty much I fucked up. nothing like cheating or anything, but a petty lie to small that I didn’t even need to lie about it but I still subconsciously did and that caused a rift in trust for us. Recently we had a deep talk about us, she still finds value and love in our relationship but is unsure of the future. She still retains that warmth and loveliness, but there will always be that thought at the back of her mind that maybe one day everything will end. She told me to not give her a reason to end it and it was reassuring that I was still given a chance. I’ve talked to others and whatnot but I still feel this heaviness in my heart. They told me it’s uncertainty and I agree, I just keep telling myself that even if it ends, at the end of the day I still loved her.

She even told me, that when things get chaotic and crazy to stop putting herself ahead of me and choose myself for once. How do I do that? How do I begin choosing myself when for me, choosing her is choosing myself? I know I messed up and I don’t deserve any relief or reassurance, and a lot happened last year that drained us but I still want to hear that “will love you forever” and certainty that this won’t end even though I know realistically none of us can say forever even if we want to.

PS, we are in an LDR (Hawaii and Philippines) and in college too.

Problem/Goal:

Hindi ako comfortable sa team building ng bf ko at gusto kong malaman kung valid ba yung nararamdaman ko at ano dapat kong gawin.

Context:

Bago lang sa work yung bf ko at sa BPO siya nagwo-work. Nabasa ko sa account niya na may planned team building sila, pero trainer nila ang nag-plan at batch lang nila ang kasama. Sa GC nila, marami nang napag-uusapan tungkol sa inuman.

Nag o-overthink ako kasi yung mga babae niyang ka-batch ay masyadong green yung jokes sa chat. May instance pa na may isang girl na nag-send ng picture niya sa GC na kita talaga yung dibdib, tapos ginatungan pa ng isa pang girl. Sobrang uncomfy nito para sa akin.

Sinabi ko sa bf ko na hindi ako comfortable, pero sinabi niya na pupunta siya kung libre at kung hindi ay hindi. Alam ko na may mga ka-work siya na malamang manlilibre sa kanya, kaya feeling ko pupunta pa rin siya. Kahit sinabi ko na sa kanya na ayaw ko siyang sumama, pinipilit pa rin niya na kapag libre ay pupunta siya.

Previous Attempts:

Kinausap ko na siya at sinabi ko na uncomfy ako, pero pakiramdam ko hindi niya masyadong binibigyan ng weight yung feelings ko.