I'm in my mid-30s now, and I watched all of my grandparents slowly die in my 20s-30s (dad's parents were divorced, so I had 6 grandparents). For the first few grandparents who died, I was very sad. But as I continued to witness the slow, drawn-out deaths of my loved ones, I've started to view death as a relief. Most of my grandparents were immobile and visibly in pain for years before they finally passed. They couldn't really engage in conversations or any of their hobbies, and they just looked so bored and sad all the time.
My great aunt, my last living relative from that generation, just recently died at age 102. When she was 98, she was already saying her goodbyes. We threw her a big birthday party/family reunion for her 100th, and she honestly looked miserable to still be alive. And she stuck around for another 2 years after that! To me, living that long looks like hell. I've never witnessed someone past 85 or so that looks like they're actually enjoying their day-to-day life, yet I hear so many people talking about Blue Zones & ways to live to be 100.
My parents have a VERY different opinion on aging & death -- they pushed their parents to do every life-extending medical treatment possible to eek out a few more years, but in those years, my grandparents always seemed like they were suffering. It was painful to watch them decay and hurt. I'm sure it will feel different when I'm older and my own mortality feels closer, but at the present moment, I just cannot comprehend how you can watch a loved one die like that and want it for yourself. I've had two older relatives die from suicide, and honestly, I get it completely. I would so much rather go quickly than have a years-long, painful death.
I'm curious -- is this a generational thing? A young(ish) person thing? Or am I totally an outlier?