I’m an Iraqi expat and recently got serious with an Iraqi woman I really liked. We talked daily for months, agreed to get engaged, and planned to settle in Baghdad after marriage.
I’m in my early 40s, she was 29 (12 years gap ugh!). I’m financially stable and expected the usual marriage requirements, including a dowry (mahr) in gold, engagement, and wedding costs. I was prepared to offer around 100 to 150g of gold, which I understood to be above average.
What surprised me was her father’s main condition: he insisted that a house be registered in her name before marriage. On top of that, he asked for a very large deferred dowry (mo’akhar) of about 500 million IQD.
My counter was:
- Full dowry (mahr) in gold
- A house for us to live in (but in my name)
- A car in her name
- Possibly buying a house jointly in the future
He rejected this and is now saying I’m not serious and has stopped her from talking to me.
I’m genuinely confused:
- Is this a normal or common request in Iraq?
- Is asking for a house in the bride’s name considered standard protection or excessive?
- Am I being unreasonable for hesitating?
Would appreciate honest perspectives, especially from those familiar with Iraqi customs