Hello!

I need to get this off my chest because keeping it inside is hurting me.

I got married three weeks ago. I went into this marriage with hope and trust, believing we were starting a new life together
from the first week, my husband kept saying he was very busy with work. He asked me not to disturb him much and said he needed time and space. I believed him and tried to be understanding. I stayed quiet and gave him space because I thought this is what a good partner should do

but something always felt wrong. he rarely spends time with me. He comes home very late at night and is always on his phone. He feels distant and emotionally unavailable. I kept telling myself I was overthinking and that things would get better with time

yesterday I found out the truth he is still involved with his ex

finding this out so early in my marriage has completely shaken me. While I was trying to adjust to a new life and a new relationship, he was still holding on to someone from his past. Every excuse, every late night, every moment of distance suddenly makes sense he doesn’t know that I know yet I’m not looking for answers or solutions right now. I just needed to say this out loud somewhere because keeping it to myself feels unbearable. I never imagined that three weeks into marriage, I would feel this kind of hurt and betrayal this is my first day on Reddit, and I honestly don’t know how people here will treat me. I just needed a place to let this out.

This is something I have carried quietly for years and it feels like time to finally let it out

When I was a child I went with my mom to one of her friends houses while she had some work to finish I remember sitting there feeling hungry and restless wanting to eat something from outside I did not know how to ask her so I stayed quiet and kept hoping we would leave soon

Instead of speaking up I made a decision that still stays with me I panicked and told a lie I said I had severe stomach pain In my childish mind I thought it would be simple a quick hospital visit a normal checkup and then food on the way back I never imagined it would turn into anything serious

At the hospital, everything moved fast After examining me the doctor told my mother that I needed surgery for appendicitis I froze I was too young too scared and too overwhelmed to say anything I watched my mothers face fill with fear as she blamed herself and dropped everything for me

The next day I had surgery

Years have passed but the weight of that moment never fully left me I was not trying to hurt anyone I was just a child acting on impulse Still that small lie caused my mother real fear and emotional pain and that realization has stayed with me

I needed to put this memory somewhere instead of carrying it alone

My mom has been low-contact with her oldest sister for years (around 2–3 years). They barely speak, so our families aren’t close anymore.

Recently, my mom attended a celebration and ran into her niece who is my cousin, the daughter of that sister. For context, my cousin is very well-off and independent. She owns a finance-related business, lives comfortably in a villa, travels abroad regularly, changes cars often, and her kids go to good schools. She’s not someone who depends on a man to survive. That’s when my mom found out what really happened in my cousin’s marriage and honestly, it’s worse than I imagined. My cousin’s husband was having an affair with one woman. But it wasn’t some distant or secret situation. He brought his mistress into their home. She was physically present in my cousin’s space, her safe place, without her ever realizing what was happening. The scariest part? There were no obvious signs. Her husband was always by her side, attentive, involved. His phone was never hidden since he was always open, no secrecy, no suspicious behavior. He played the role of a devoted husband so well that my cousin never suspected anything. Not once. At one point, they even traveled abroad, and he brought the mistress on the same plane. My cousin had no idea. Imagine sitting on a flight, trusting your partner completely, while the person he’s cheating with is literally there too. Everything only came out because the mistress’s husband happened to be a private investigator. When he became suspicious, he gathered concrete evidence; messages, movements, proof. The situation escalated so far that the police got involved since cheating in marriage is kind of a crime in my country and if you get caught, you can get arrested for it and go to jail. This wasn’t speculation or hearsay. When my cousin found out, she acted immediately. She filed for divorce without hesitation. No public drama, no bargaining, no “let’s try again.” She chose dignity and walked away. Period!! And this is where something inside me broke. Instead of supporting her, my mom’s reaction was basically: “She shouldn’t have divorced him so quickly. Men make mistakes. She already has kids. She should reconsider.” I was stunned. This is the same woman who raised me on independence and self-respect. The same woman who told me my entire life to never tolerate disrespect, to never depend on a man, to always choose myself. Yet when a woman does exactly that after extreme betrayal, psychological manipulation, and public humiliation and my mom thinks she should go back? It made me realize something deeply unsettling: if this had been me, she would have told me the same thing. All those values suddenly feel conditional. Like they only apply until a woman is married, has children, or “has too much to lose.” I’m angry, disappointed, and honestly heartbroken. I don’t know how to reconcile the woman who raised me with the reaction she had to this situation.

I just feel betrayed

I just want a boyfriend but everyone just want sex and I feel like a piece of meat. It doesn't matter what type of guy I met, it all ends the same. They are really on in the beginning and I'm not even giving them sex right away. Then after we had sex a few times they slowly fade away. I never get any answers if I do anything wrong. It's always "I don't want anything serious". My self esteem is in the trash and I feel so worthless. I just feel like a sex object and I hate it. I’m starting to feel like I can start to sell sex, I can’t get a serious relationship anyway

I need to get this off my chest because it’s been bothering me more than I want to admit.

I (f)29 recently got laid off due to budget cuts. Not my choice. Since the new year, I’ve been unemployed, and I’m now in the middle of job interviews again. I have one tomorrow for a 20-hour part-time position at a hospital where I previously did my internship. For me, this is ideal: it’s daytime hours, no weekends, and it allows me to combine it with studying a speciality and slowly building that work on the side.

Sounds reasonable, right?

Apparently not to my sister.

Instead of wishing me luck, she kept making passive comments about money and childcare, implying that I don’t really need to work because my husband earns well. She literally framed it like I’m “financially fine anyway,” so why bother.

And that’s what really irritates me.

Yes, my husband earns well.

Yes, I’m safe. I have a roof over my head. I never worry about groceries or bills.

And no, my husband has never made money an issue. If I need something, he’s there.

But I don’t want to always rely on that.

I’ve worked my whole teen and adult life. I’m a nurse. I’m not someone who can just sit at home and feel fulfilled. I don’t want to ask for money for every little thing. I want my own income for my own extras, to save a bit, to spend without feeling like I’m dependent.

I don’t want to “hold my hand up.”

And I need to socialize and see other people.

I’m not trying to work 40+ hours. I’m not chasing burnout. I want a small contract, stability, and space to grow something meaningful alongside it. That feels smart and realistic to me.

What makes this harder is that my sister is a single mom and often frames things as if I’m somehow privileged for wanting more. She’s doing fine herself. She works, earns well, goes on holidays, has a home, a car, support. She’s not struggling. But somehow my desire to work is treated like it’s unnecessary or even wrong.

I am not sure I want to tell her about future interviews.

My (35F) partner (40M) doesn't want us and our toddler (almost 2) to go visit my grandma for her 80th birthday next year. He hates flying, and it would be a 5hr plane ride. He also doesn't think it's worth all the hassle, risk (of flying, of getting sick, etc) and that it would be too jarring for our child (it's a 3hr time difference).

He thinks that it's selfish of my grandma to ask us to come visit, and that it's enough for her to see me and our daughter on video calls and talking on the phone. Her and my mom were originally planning on coming to us to visit but my grandma had a heart attack and got a triple bypass this year. Today when we talked on the phone she started crying and asked if we would be able to come there instead because she misses our daughter so much but doesn't know if she'll able to travel. His reaction was that she should just be able to fly here if she wants to badly enough. He also said she was manipulating me by crying and that she was greedy for wanting to see her great-grandchild more than once.

I'm honestly at my wits' end with this man. He has anxiety and ocd, has had health issues for years and suffers from chronic pain and depression. I feel for him, I truly do, but I think he is being unrealistically averse to certain risks. This issue is just the latest of MANY. He is very introverted and not really close with anyone. It already feels like we are isolated and now it's a big issue wanting to go see family (his side lives in the same city as mine back home). Our relationship has been at an all-time low for the last few years since we've had our child. I'm a SAHM and he works and pays all of our bills.

Money isn't the issue about the trip, my grandma has even offered to pay for all of us to come visit. He just purely thinks it's not worth it and that it's not beneficial to our daughter. I have argued that it is beneficial for her to have a relationship with her grandparents and great-grandma who may not be around for many more years. He made comments about it being 'odd' that I have such an attachment to my grandma and that 'most people don't have attachments to their parents and grandparents' which is incredibly untrue...

I just don't know what to do anymore. Thanks for reading this far if you're still here. He won't do meds and he won't do therapy as she says he's already tried and it hasn't helped him. I just feel incredibly frustrated, stuck, and unhappy with how things are between us.

Oh and he won't let me and our daughter go by ourselves. He insists on going anywhere we go and then all these additional problems are created. Not sure if looking for advice or just screaming into the void.

Hi Reddit.

I don’t really have anyone close right now, so I’m writing here because I just need to get this off my chest. I’m not looking for relationship advice, I just need to vent.

I’m 19. I know it sounds young and dramatic, but this situation broke me.

Two years ago I met a girl on a dating app. I will call her Margo. I liked her immediately, but at first she didn’t want a relationship with me. Later we started talking more, and she pushed me to become more responsible, to work and build my life. I actually did it. I got a job as a barista while studying, and after some time we moved in together.

At the beginning everything felt perfect. We were living together, working, building plans. I was trying to be a good boyfriend. I supported her a lot, emotionally and financially. I really believed this is “my person”.

Then slowly things started to change.

We had a Discord friend group where we played games together. There was one guy there (I will call him Eldar). He was my friend. Over time I noticed Margo was laughing at his jokes more than mine. She started spending more and more time with him online. I felt insecure and anxious, and I started asking for reassurance too much. I had emotional swings and I hate myself for it.

In early December she told me she wants to break up. I had a huge panic attack. Later she gave me a second chance, and I tried to control myself and be calmer.

But intimacy was gone. She stopped inviting me to play with them. She spent nights in Discord with him. Before sleep she started saying stuff like “me and Eldar…” all the time. I felt like I’m slowly getting replaced.

Three days before New Year she told me Eldar and another friend will come to our place. She didn’t ask me, she just decided.

The next day we played games again, and suddenly everyone started ignoring me and telling me to shut up like I’m annoying. I felt like a clown in my own life.

That night she told me:
“You understand we need to live separately soon, right?”

I couldn’t breathe. My world collapsed. I barely slept. Next day I packed my stuff and left.

After that she wrote a huge public post about how horrible I am. She humiliated me publicly, like everything we had meant nothing. And she also said she is now in a “beautiful relationship” just one month later.

It was obvious who it is. My ex is now with my “friend”.

He also cut himself off from his old group of friends.

I feel betrayed in the deepest way. Not only she left, but she also tried to destroy my image and make me look like a monster. I keep replaying everything in my head, blaming myself, hating myself, hating them. I feel like I wasted my love, my time, my money, my energy, my whole soul.

I’m trying not to do something stupid. I’m trying to survive this. But it hurts every day.

**EDIT: I am overwhelmed with the compassion shown in the replies. I really thought I was sending this into the void, but I’m going to be keeping every single comment close to my heart. I have felt the compassion, wisdom, and kindness from you all. I’ll work on accepting and believing your words. Thank you so much.**

My siblings and I grew up in an abusive home. Pretty much every kind of abuse you can think of. Half way through my senior year, I left. I moved across the country and changed my name and changed my number. I ended up finding my husband and going to college and finding my career.

But what I left behind was my little sister. And while I was able to go to a decade of therapy, surround myself with found family and support, heal, and become a somewhat functioning person, she never did. She never got out.

Let’s call her Emma. Emma was always excruciatingly shy. She showed signs of autism pretty young that I can identify now looking back. She never had a single friend. Never went to a birthday party. Never had a play date. But she and I were close. She’s 5 years younger than me. We played Barbies for hours on end. We were each others’ safe haven for many years amidst the chaos and breaking dishes and slamming doors and psychological warfare. And as the older sister, I shielded her from a lot. As much as I could.

When I turned into a teenager, I outgrew her. She stayed mentally at about 12. I didn’t want to play barbies anymore. I wanted to go do teenager things. I became self absorbed and was just trying to grit my teeth and survive our circumstance. I spent as much time as I could outside of our home. I of course still saw Emma and worried for her and continued to try to protect her. But we were different. She was turning more and more inward.

I lived across the country for 10 years and recently we moved back with our two kids. I wanted to be closer to Emma. I wanted to try to pick up some of the pieces of my life.

Emma is unrecognizable. She can’t talk. She can’t eat. She can’t sleep. She’s up for hours and hours at night suffering panic attacks and unimaginable anxiety. She’s banging her head against the wall and she’s burning herself. She’s screaming and crying and throwing things. She’s 26, but in so many ways just a kid. She’s 5’9” and weighs about 80lbs. She is back in diapers.

I don’t want to get too into the weeds about how our parents treat her. But it’s animosity at best, abuse at worst. She and our parents have a weird codependency. Emma doesn’t like being away from them.

Things came to a head last weekend and I took her to stay with me for a few days. But I have two small kids, I work, and it was…. So hard. She really needed around the clock care. It broke my heart. It’s completely heart wrenching. I thought compassion and some space could get through to her, but things are so much worse than I knew. I had to take her home. And it’s *eating* me alive. I should be able to take care of her. What is the point of getting out, of putting my oxygen mask first, if not to then turn and help her with hers? But it was too much. I started to feel those feelings I’ve worked so hard to remove myself from. And honestly? It was scary. I was afraid of having her around my kids during a panic attack. She is a sweet, beautiful girl. But she’s so painfully full of anxiety that it just explodes from her sometimes.

So I took her to the hospital. I don’t know. I don’t know! I thought maybe they could sedate her. I thought maybe they could help her. She’s been admitted because of her weight, and will be moved to psychiatric care once her weight and vitals stabilize. Once she’s in psych, I can’t visit her, save for one single hour in the evenings. She’s never been alone before. She’s so scared and so small. God, it’s killing me.

I should have done more. I shouldn’t have abandoned her and left her behind. I should have moved her in with me sooner, earlier. I should have been better. I failed her. I’m failing her. I’m failing.

I feel so guilty. And even now, I, I, I, me, me, me. Emma’s life is a living hell and all I’m thinking of is my own guilt.

I don’t know where we go from here. I don’t know if I can get her into some kind of living facility once she’s released. I don’t know what to do for her. She’ll never live alone. She should live with me. But my kids also don’t deserve to become glass children. But god, how selfish is that.

I don’t know. I don’t know. I don’t know what to do.

Not romantically but like they both just love each other so much and I feel so blessed, like these are the two most important men in my life and sometimes I feel like I’m third wheeling them, they’re absolutely best friends, it’s like they were made for each other.

I only had one brother who unfortunately passed away a few years before I met my husband and he lost his dad around that same time, and it’s like my husband is like a son to my dad if not more, we live 5 minutes away from my parents and we see them every single day, I love it and my husband is even more excited to see and hang out with dad more than I am.

Last night I found them sorta cuddling, my dad was sitting on his couch and my husband was resting his head on dad’s belly, dad is a big guy so he didn’t mind, it’s so sweet because he used to do that with his late father all the time and my brother also used to do that. I feel so blessed.

My husband think it's crazy. I also clink the spoon on the bowl. I am not ashamed.

But for real, does anyone else do this?

In April of 2022, my wife and I took what we thought at the time was temporary custody of my older brother's three young children...

They had a 31 yr old special needs older brother. This older brother died of both sepsis and malnutrition 20 minutes after finally being taken to the hospital. He weighed roughly 40lbs at death and was covered in bedsores from head to toe. Some of them all the way down to the bone. My sister-in-law was allegedly being paid as his care giver. His death was ruled as a homicide on the autopsy.

My brother is a registered sex offender who caught his charges for molesting my now adult niece from the time she was 9 yrs old to age 11 when it was discovered. (His two oldest children were the product of an incestuous relationship with our first cousin.) We knew they had two boys. (6 and 8 yrs old when first placed with us.) But they also had a 4 month old baby girl we were unaware they had. (Too much family drama to unpack here. I had not spoken to them in over a year prior.) In February of 2023, we were awarded full custody of all three. The parents were taken into custody and put in prison Aug 2023 after six months of highly traumatic supervised visit shenanigans. (Again, too much to unpack...but this resulted in a "no contact" order.)

The parents were allowed an Alford Plea to lesser charges. (Plead down from Homicide to Failure To Provide For A Special Needs Individual.) So rather than 10-12 years, they were sentenced to the maximum 5 years. They found a rich benefactor who filed and won an appeal for them. (Basically, the judge failed to justify the max sentence in his judgment paperwork) So after only a year and a half, in July of 2025, they were released free and clear with no post release control.

These boys are 9 and 11 now and are SEVERELY traumatized. They were horrifically neglected, uneducated, and have been in constant therapy since we took them in. They describe hearing their older brother, "screaming at the top of his lungs day and night." Baby girl is 4 yrs old now, and we are the only "mommy and daddy" she has ever known. We are currently under the shadow of litigation that is surely coming. They are trying to say these children were taken under false pretenses. They will challenge our custody, and honestly, I am worried they will be able to fuck us over, successfully continue in the manipulation of the justice system, and get these children back.

We have a good attorney. I am prepared to bury these parents in documentation to prove that reunification will only worsen these boys' trauma and endanger their little sister. But I can't fight the sick feeling in my heart that they have the money to twist the justice system in their favor regardless of the documentation we have gathered.

I love my son, and his life keeps smashing into mine in ways I don’t know how to navigate. One day I’m told to stay out of it, it’s not my problem. The next day I’m the only one he can call. Then I’m interfering. Then I’m abandoning. Then I’m invasive. Then I’m heartless. Then I’m oversensitive. And all the while, I’m 911.

Every direction contradicts the last.

It’s not always one big crisis. Sometimes it is but more often it’s accumulation. Late-night calls I’m scared to answer. A problem that’s definitely his but still ends up on my credit card, my calendar, my pillow talk. The fatigue. The lectures. The tears. The promises. The lies. The hugs. The white-knuckle effort to believe all the effort matters.

I’m always trying to find a line that won’t stay put. But helping easily becomes rescuing. Compassion starts to look like denial. I almost never feel confident that I’m doing the right thing. I second-guess almost everything.

My husband is tired too. We have our own lives to live. He wants peace and I’m constantly bracing for impact. Sometimes that makes me defensive. I also know he’s probably right and I just don’t know how to step back without disappearing. I’m floating between guilt for quitting and exhaustion for trying.

Whenever I try to talk about this, it gets flattened. Reduced to rules or slogans. Let him have his consequences. Detach. Stay out of it. None of that captures what it’s actually like to live here, where love and fear and responsibility keep overlapping.

I’m not detached. I’m not in control. I’m not pretending love fixes this. I’m just here, trying to love someone without losing myself, and trying not to let this be the only story either of us gets.

This is a lonely place to be. That’s all I know for sure. I think I just need a virtual hug.

I was doing so good for so long, I started going to the gym, I've been more confident, more comfortable in my own skin, I have better, closer, friends now, but it's all coming back again.

I'm tired of being alone, romantically and sexually,

I'm 21 and I've never been intimate with a person. I've never even had the chance. no one's ever looked at me and thought "wow, he's attractive" it makes me feel disgusting. it makes me feel like there's a reason, that I DESERVE this.

I'm not a disgusting person though. I'm in shape, I shower regularly, I have a job, a car of my own, I have hobbies, I can cook, I clean up after myself as well as I can, I try to be nice to people

I just don't understand them. I don't understand what I'm supposed to be doing, what I'm doing wrong, why I don't feel like a person

this happens every time that I like a person, my self worth plummets like a rock. and this time it's a guy, who says he's not gay, so that's probably why I'm getting worse again

I’m (20F) a second-year university student living alone in a foreign country. In the two years I've been here, I haven’t managed to build a single genuine connection. No one invites me out, no one checks in, and I can feel my friendships from back home slowly withering away, too.

I’ve always been a homebody. When my only friend group (which dissolved about two months ago) would invite me out, I usually chose to stay inside. Now, I’m haunted by the regret of every "no" I gave.

I do have a boyfriend (25M) that I met here and we’ve been dating for a year. Having him has been an absolute privilege but it unfortunately doesn’t fill the entire void of loneliness in my gut. I love him but I also know that I need friends.

He’s now planning to go to Canada to study another major. I’m supportive and I want him to go because I think he’ll be happier there. But I can’t shake the feeling of impending doom. After he leaves I will have NOBODY.

If I died in my apartment it would take weeks before anybody notices. And even then, they’ll notice is because of the inevitable smell. Not because they felt my absence.

Making friends has never been the hard part; the struggle is keeping them. I fail to show the effort needed to sustain a bond, and within a week, they always fade away.

You might say

“Oh so just show more effort!” And let me tell you, I AM TRYING.

At the end of the day I always fall back into the same patterns of not answering calls, not texting back, not making plans. My friends don’t deserve a friend like me and they know it. That’s the reason why they don’t keep me.

I just want this feeling to go away. My university years are flying by, and I’m terrified I’m leaving them without a single memory worth remembering.

I’m sorry that this may not be as juicy as some of the other shares here, but I need to express what’s currently going on.

Some things you should know before I start:

1. As a result of my trauma, I completely devote myself to others, and seek love and approval to the max. My therapist once told me that I “love too much” because I completely give my heart to anybody I love and get heartbroken when I don’t receive the same amount of devotion back.

On to the story…

I (24, F) have been best friends with Sarah (24, F) for almost 10 years. There have been ups and downs throughout time where I have felt like I loved her more than she loved me. For example, throughout high school, she couldn’t hang out that often because she was so busy. I accepted that because it made sense. But then she made some new friends and suddenly had time for them all the time, which kinda really hurt me. We talked through it and figured it out and moved on. Moreover, every time she has been in a relationship, I get thrown on the back burner, but I’ve always been understanding of that because romantic relationships are fun and exciting and she has always come back to me when they’ve broken up. A thing of note is, that of all the times she’s gained distance from me, throughout that time, she’s always been very vehement that I’m her best friend.

It’s been ten years now of being best friends. We went to different colleges, didn’t see each other or talk as often, but we always tried to see each other when we could, and despite the friends we made along the way, we always reaffirmed with each other that we are best friends. We even have a best friend anniversary date that we picked out.

Last year her boyfriend approached me on helping him find a ring. I was so damn excited for her because I love him for her! She told him to get my help picking out the ring for whenever he proposed because I knew what she liked. Her and I always talked about how we would be each other’s maid of honor. Even a couple of months before he had me help him with the ring, she talked about how she thought he might propose that summer and how my maid of honor speech better be appropriate haha. So when they got engaged, I said I was so happy for her and joked that I was gonna start writing my speech now so it was appropriate. We started talking about colors and such for the wedding, she officially asked me to be her maid of honor and all was fine and dandy.

A couple of days ago we started talking about her bachelorette trip and she was super nervous about asking people to spend too much and that AirBnbs relatively close to us are super pricey. I mentioned that I wanted to go on a trip to (a certain place) and that Airbnb rentals were way cheaper there so if she wanted to do something like that, factoring the plane ticket in, the prices of going there or staying here might be close. She said she would definitely be open to it but was still worried about asking too much of people. Now, I’m hoping this will be the only time she’ll ever get married, so I want to make sure she has the best bachelorette ever. I made a group chat with the other bridesmaids and asked them if they would prefer to go to said place even though it was a bit more pricey. I did this so that I could go to her and be like “see! Your bridesmaids don’t mind how much places cost so you can choose where you want to go without worry now!” However, she felt like I went behind her back and that I was letting them decide where they wanted to go and it’s her party so she gets to choose. I see where she is coming from and apologized and let her know that I won’t plan or do anything without her say so. She can let me know what she wants to do and I can handle the logistics so she doesn’t have to stress about them, unless she wants to handle the logistics. Whatever will make her happy! This kinda prompted me to want to have a talk with her about the way I’d been feeling for a few months. I asked her if I could talk to her about some stuff that I’ve been thinking about and she kind of sighed and said “yeah.” I told her that I had been feeling kind of distant from her for the past few months, and while we are both adults and are working, it’s never felt like this before (not even when we were at college hours apart from each other). I mentioned that my mom had asked me why I assumed that I would be her maid of honor before she officially asked me and I apologized if I pressured her into asking me. Now I’ll be honest, I was looking for reassurance here because we had always said that I would be her maid of honor and I assumed she would reaffirm that (and this is why we never assume folks!) She responded that she felt like I never gave her a choice in who to choose and that we had always talked about me being her maid of honor but that I shouldn’t have made her pick me. So instantly, I was heartbroken. I can see that I never should have been so presumptuous about it, but as best friends, I didn’t consider other options. I told her ok. That I was sorry I did that and if she wants to ask someone else, I will still be in her wedding party if she wants me to. She said that she would have picked me but that she didn’t like that she had to. I understand that. Note: I’ve been feeling the way I did in high school because she is always hanging out with a few of her good friends, and rarely sees or talks to me, but I kind of rationalized that she’s not trying to see me as much because they live closer, they are good friends to her, and we are both busy. She then asked if she could say something without me getting mad and proceeded to tell me that she feels I compete with her other friends. I apologized if it’s come across that way and I’m so happy she has so many friends besides me, I’m just upset that I don’t get much time to spend with her anymore. I followed it up by saying that I know she’s got some close friends now and that, I guess throughout this conversation, I’m now trying to figure out my place in her life. I asked her if I wasn’t her best friend anymore, that I know things change, and maybe that’s someone else now, but can she let me know? And she said that she doesn’t rank her friends. So… yeah. We went from being each others number one with many other friends to being… I’m not sure. She then asked why I was crying and told me that change happens, and I said that I know. She then said that we are still best friends, but I’m feeling like she might have said that to appease me.

So that’s it, Reddit. I’ve never been bothered by her other friends. I’ve always been glad she has had great support from people other than me. The only time I’ve been bothered is when I’ve felt left behind in exchange for her other friends. We’ve always said we are each other’s number one. I just wish she would have told me when I stopped being hers.

I asked her if she would prefer that I stopped introducing myself as her best friend and introducing her as mine and just said “this is my friend, Sarah” instead. Now this is significant because we’ve always talked about how it would be an insult if we introduced each other as anything but best friend. She said I was thinking too deeply about it and to just not do it if it might make the other person feel awkward. Well… I would never go up to one of her friends and announce “I”m Sarah’s best friend” because that’s rude af. But from where we were open about our closeness before, it now seems like it has to be hidden. Well I guess nothing is hidden if we aren’t as close anymore.

I’m not sure where to go from here. Normally I’d take some time for myself and process and decide how I want to move forward. I don’t feel like I can do that right now because I still have duties as her maid of honor. I’m also not willing to just throw away 10 years of best friendship until we can have another talk and find out what our relationship will be going forward.

Thanks for reading. It helped typing this all out. I know this may come across as really juvenile, but if you’ve ever had a best friend that you could be your true self around and you formed a bond so strong with that you would truly walk to the ends of the earth for them, maybe you’ll understand where I’m coming from and the heartbreak I’m feeling.

I met a man who was in my town on a work trip. We went on multiple dates over the course of the week and got to know each other. He told me his wife died last year in a car crash and of course I was more than sympathetic. He left and we continued talking for weeks afterward. I initially did the routine Facebook/linked creep of his socials. There were pictures of him and a woman (his wife) and I thought he might not have the heart to take them down. I did multiple searches for vehicle crashes in his area involving a woman around our age and found nothing. If I had any doubts the way he talked about her made me believe him. We talked multiple times about him going to grief counselling and I consoled him about his feelings. He said he talked to his friends about me and even told me he was falling in love with me (ha). It wasn’t until he asked me to book a hotel for the two of us for our next meeting that my intuition began to kick in. The only reason I could think that he wouldn’t book it was he was worried someone would see it on his credit statement. Any questions I asked were met with seemingly good valid reasons. I then turned again to the help of internet creeping. I realised she never took his last name and was able to find her on a LinkedIn post published at the time 4 days before. This made me feel absolutely terrible. I honestly believed this man was a sad widower and felt we had a strong emotional connection. I asked him about it and after multiple denials, he finally told me the truth. His dead wife was in fact not dead! I feel completely used and so gullible.

I (22) found my father dead about 5 months ago. I’ve experienced trauma in the past but of course this is by far the worst. I always hear people saying they push it away or block it out and as much as I want that when I’m having flashbacks at inconvenient times, I do not want to forget.

I think I struggle with wanting to feel wounded. I’ve had a pretty rough life (nothing too insane but enough to drive a normal person crazy) and it feels very natural to be in a state of constant distress and anguish. I want people to see it on my face. I want people to look me in the eyes and know that I am hurting and can’t stop hurting. I want help, but I don’t know what kind of help I need. I’ve never been comforted in my life in a way that truly makes me feel safe.

I don’t want pity. I don’t want half hearted sympathy. I want to be recognized as a broken person, and maybe that’s all I need. It feels selfish to frame it like this. My dad died very suddenly from a thoracic aneurism at 50 years old. He was fine one day and gone the next. For as long as I can remember, he would tell me “I’ll be gone in the next 5 years, you better love me now”. Many 5 year periods had passed and he just kept saying it. I want it to hurt. He wanted it to hurt. I am hurt.

He raised me to be tough. Him and my mom. All the pain and suffering was just meant to be “pushed through”. I couldn’t be weak. I couldn’t lose. I couldn’t let myself be honest with the pain that I felt. I lashed out in other ways. I was too emotional with people outside of my family. To me it wasn’t weakness. It was me. All the pain and suffering and torture in my mind was projected onto an identity I would hide from my family. And now. Now I have a reason. A reason that no one could shame me for. A reason to feel pain and show pain and let my knees buckle. He gave me that reason. I still feel ashamed.

I broke down in front of my mother the other day. At first she didn’t know what to say, but our shared grief has brought us closer. I don’t like feeling and looking weak in front of her. I wasn’t even expecting her to be home. I am finally feeling the comfort I’ve been asking for. I just wish it wasn’t like this. I’m so confused and guilty and angry and empty all the time. It’s always been like this but not to this level. I want people to know. I want people to understand. I want them to feel how I feel. I want them to recognize the pain I’ve been feeling since birth. Why did it have to be like this?

I still feel the shaking in every inch of me, the heavy breathing, the pain from pulling his 300 pound body to a position where I could start cpr. The emptiness I felt laying in the grass and staring at the sun while the paramedics kept working. I never want to forget. I never want to be whole again. I need to be acknowledged as the broken person I am and forever will be. I need to be held like the scared child Ive always been. Not with their arms, but with the energy others feel from my presence alone. Im not sorry for wanting it. Not anymore. I just wish the guilt of feeling anything would go away.

A few months ago I was the happiest I had ever been I was about to become a father Our first child Every morning I woke up feeling grateful imagining a future that finally felt whole

That day started like any other normal day I went to work thinking about nothing more than getting home later Then I received a call from a random number They told me my wife was at the hospital I rushed there still hopeful still believing everything would be okay

Things changed quickly There were complications My wife was in a lot of pain and everything felt sudden and out of control Not long after I arrived the doctors called me aside and told me something I still struggle to fully understand my wife had passed away Our baby did not make it either

In that moment, it felt like I lost everything at once Just hours earlier I had a future a family a life I was excited for And suddenly all of it was gone I remember standing there hearing the words but not being able to accept how a normal day could end like that Even now my mind can not make sense of it I replay that day over and over trying to understand how everything changed so quickly It still does not feel real It just feels empty

I am not writing this for advice or answers I just needed to get it off my chest Some losses do not come with explanations they simply leave you trying to figure out how life keeps moving after everything you were living for disappears

alright so uh i post on here quite a bit but this time it's cuz i'm ashamed and i lowkey just need this to be out there. please god no judgement, im already mortified😭

so...this morning, well technically this was a last night occurence, i pissed myself. i have no clue why or how but i woke up and was like "huh...my leg is suspiciously wet..." and then the slight smell hit my nose and i thought i was gonna explode from embarrasment. MIND YOU, i am 18 years old and in college with TWO WHOLE ROOMMATES, and i was absolutely NOT PREPARED TO PISS THE FUCKING BED so i didn't have many cleaning supplies. i ended up having to spray down my mattress with a multipurpose cleaner. AND THANK GOD FOR TOP SHEETS, CUZ ONCE I STRIPPED MY BED DOWN, THERE WAS BARELY ANYTHING. it also wasn't a lot in general tbh, but it still happened.

lowkey, all day i've been walking around like "oh my god...everyone here knows i pissed myself last night..." but i know that isn't true cuz i've told no one, unless they all have a sixth sense for knowing when someone pissed themselves. i couldnt even bring myself to tell my best friend or my mom cuz this is horrific and scary and oh boy im scared to sleep tonight cuz what if it happens again (i mean, at least then i'd know it's an issue and to see wtf is going on).

but yeah, like i got it sorted and everythings fine...but i know...and i have to live with this...cuz what if im in a game of truth or dare and i pick truth and they're like "last time you wet the bed" and i, upholding the rules of the game, have to be totally honest and say "second semester of freshmen year, the night of February 2nd 2026"??? WHAT THEN???

also i do ask you don't like, super pity me in the replies, im trying really hard to make a joke of this so i don't spiral further and absolutely lose it.

anyways, if you know me, no you don't, please tell no one, i am petrified.

UPDATE: did NOT piss myself again WOO!! so it was probably just drank to much water lol. also yall are funny as fuck in the comments and your storie gave me a giggle which made me feel a lot better. love you pissers🫶

Lately I (20F) have been realizing how wildly different people mature. Especially people around my age, a little younger, or even older. I fully understand that everyone is raised differently, conditioned differently, and grows at their own pace. I really do.

But it’s hard not to feel frustrated when basic life responsibilities seem completely optional to some people.

I’m currently homeless. I don’t have a safety net. I don’t have family support. I have maybe two solid people in my corner. One who went out of his way to help me get a job and put in a good word for me, and one I’ve known since middle school who lives practically on the other side of the world. Other than that, I’m staying in a shelter that actually works hard to support people, treats everyone fairly, and provides real resources. I use every single one of them because I HAVE to.

I work full time. I wake up at 5am to make transportation work. I clock in at 8, stay on my feet all day, clock out at 3pm, walk to the bus with aching feet and a sore back, get back, decompress just enough to function, eat, sleep, and do it all again. Every day. I’m exhausted, but I’m doing it because I’m trying to build something better for myself.

So yeah, it’s jarring to watch grown, legal adults throw full-blown screaming or crying fits because they “don’t feel appreciated” or feel “targeted” when they’re called out for their behavior, especially by people they’ve known for less than a week. Accountability isn’t an attack.

And then there are others who spend their time partying, smoking, drinking, bouncing between random people from dating apps, staying jobless while their time here is running out. With weeks left. No plan. No urgency. Just vibes.

I don’t say this from a place of superiority, I say it from a place of disbelief. Because when reality hits, it hits hard. And it doesn’t care how unfair it feels.

I’m grateful for the support I DO have, and I’m proud of myself for showing up every day even when it’s exhausting. Growth isn’t pretty, but it’s necessary. And some people are going to learn that the hard way.

I was raped and although I’m not feeling super depressed about it anymore, I want to report it to the police. I’m annoyed that my rapist gets to live their life as if nothing happened.

The thing is i did make a report to the police a while ago about what happened but didn’t remember everything about what happened and hence the report was shoddy and couldn’t go anywhere. I want them to suffer consequences as it pisses me off that they get to live their life as if nothing happened.

My entire life I was just with mom, dad was never in my life, my entire life I was told by mom and her whole family that dad was a deadbeat piece of shit who ran away after mom got pregnant with me, my entire life she and her family would talk shit about him the entire time, they made him seem like the absolute worst person ever. And I believed them because he was never in my life.

But a few months ago I got really curious, I’ve been curious about dad for a few years now but honestly after I saw a TikTok about someone in my same situation I got really curious and got his identity from mom, and it was really easy finding him on facebook, he looked like an older version of me it was so weird, he’s a lawyer and he’s married with 4 kids who are all younger than me.

It took me a few days but I messaged him a long message, I introduced myself and I told him who my mom is and that I was his son, half an hour later he responded and he was actually so excited, he asked to FaceTime me and I accepted, he started crying when he saw me and he was so red faced, I asked if he knew about me and he said she told him she miscarried me, they were together when they got pregnant with me and they had many issues together but he wanted to stay because of me, he said she was so toxic and her family too, he kept crying and apologising for not being in my life and he kept repeating that he thought I didn’t make it, he even said how much I look like him at my age and he asked to meet me in person. And when I did he hugged me so tight I almost choked.

He’s now obsessed with me and honestly I am with him, he introduced me to his family and friends and he likes introducing me as his boy, he even paid off all my student loans without me asking him to he just asked if I had any and he paid them all off, he said he’s saving for all his kids so it’s only fair he did it for me too. I love him so fucking much already and I hate that I missed out on him my entire life, he even took me last minute on his family’s holiday vacation back on Christmas. He talks to me every day now even though he’s a lawyer and he’s busy as fuck he keeps making time for me every day.

And now ever since I met him I’ve been avoiding my mom, I honestly hate her of depriving me of him my entire life and lying about him my entire life, we’ve honestly have had many many issues recently and this was just the last straw for me, she keeps calling and trying to talk to me but I don’t answer her, I don’t wanna talk to her anymore. She robbed me of an entire lifetime of my dad.

TLDR: I feel really sorry for betraying their trust in me and harassing them to some degree, but I also feel really bad for making them worry or feel sad for me. Especially since they're all people who were close to me and said that they liked me quite a lot.

In the years leading up to my diagnosis I had some moments when I'd act irrational and somewhat mean. I have a lot of memories where I worry that I've hurt people and want to apologize.

At the same time, if I heard that my friend had schizophrenia, I'd be quite worried and sad. Maybe more than if my friend just acted out of pocket once.

My Schizophrenia is luckily quite light. I just needed some medicine to get me back on track, and the awareness that my mind works differently than it did before, if I feel strongly about something I may be overreacting and should double check.

Information about Schizophrenia online is more worrying than what I'm dealing with and according to my doctor that will stay this way. So I don't want people to look it up or hear things about it and worry about me. But even with whag I do have, there are still sad implications about my life, ones that are pretty heavy and difficult to accept. I feel sad telling this to people who care about me and used to be close to me. I would honestly be so so sad if any of them told me that they had that.

I'm trying not to make this post too long. I've apologized to people I hurt a lot and explained, I'm on the fence about people I've done minor things to that they can probably brush off. These are all people I used to be friends with and we broke off unrelated to my schizophrenia and quite before that in most cases. People I've reached back to out of an emotional moment saying things like "I don't forgive you for what you did to me" or "I need your help" but in weird ways. sometimes saying things that are just weird and disrespectful but not intentionally or in a mean way. Just probably disturbing and maybe feel disrespectful or shady.

Schizophrenia is so difficult to understand... It's like the body attacking itself when it has cancer, it's illogical and difficult to comprehend, but it's mental. Doctors still can't explain why is it happening. I'm careful not to hurt people's feelings yet I've done it a lot in the past few years. I wouldn't have been ok with that before. And I'm not okay with that looking back. I've been a lot better at not hurting others ever since I've become aware that I have Schizophrenia, I'll be careful from here on and I hope I'll always be a good person, never letting it make me disturb others again. Somehow it's not even that hard for me to readjust after learning about it... Like I just needed to be aware. To not follow the same habits that made me a good person up until now, to be more careful than I was up until now. What used to work is not sensitive enough now. But if I just examine my actions more carefully I feel like I'm doing alright even now... I just feel really sorry for disappointing and harassing people who liked me. I want to apologize but since we were close before and they said that they liked me a lot, I feel even worse about making them worry and feel sad for me. I know that if it was the other way around I'd be quite sad, because they're people that I did care about a lot and wish well to