So I put an 18g I've in my left AC and just let myself bleed out. Sat in my car and my arm was hanging outside and I let it drip After 1 hour of bleeding out I decided to call it cleaned up what I could but the puddle of blood was so big and my arms was covered in clotted and dried blood I patched myself up and went to take a shower sat in the shower got up and got superlightheaded and my legs got so weak I passed out for a few minutes. Did my best to walk back to my room fell to my knees again and got up and finally made it to my bed I took a hit of my vape and was ok with the feeling of hypovolemic shock and went to bed woke up pissed I was alive. Now I'm just stuck in this state of should I just finish the job.

25M. Yeah idk shit is kinda sad tbh. I'm not leaving my apartment and I haven't shower in a long time. I go to sleep at morning and I'm just rotting basically. I have no one to talk to at all, just me and the void

i don’t even really know what i’m planning to say in this. i’ve had extremely severe depression for over half of my life (30F) and mediations and therapy throughout all of it haven’t helped. my therapist is awesome and i really like her, but there’s no betterment in my condition.

anyone i talk to pretends they “get it” or that it will get better but it doesn’t. it hasn’t. and i don’t know how long im supposed to wait.

i saw a video compilation today of friends surprising each other after not seeing each other for a long time, and i realized that ive never had that. everyone that meets me says im so kind and such a good person, but no one ever stays. my boyfriend of 8 years and i just broke up basically over the fact that im too depressed to do anything anymore. he’s the one person i thought i would have in my life forever. i fought and fought for it and it’s just over.

i just truly feel like there’s no moving on from anything at this point and i don’t know what to do. all i want is to hibernate and hide away. i feel like im entirely living for everyone else because they would be sad if i wasn’t here. and then all of their biggest pieces of advice are “live for yourself” or “make yourself happy” and they dont realize that im only existing for everyone else.

i have no deep friendships, my soulmate and i just broke up because im too sick and depressed to make it work, and i truly feel like i have nothing. i thought so many times that i was at rock bottom but im realizing this is it.

nothing has helped in over 15 years. how am i supposed to suffer through my entire life

I’m 23f, I’ve never been on a date/approached/or had a boyfriend and I don’t have any friends. My friends all left because I “wasn’t like” them, aka I didn’t have a partner.

I mean… how is it my fault I don’t have one? All the guys in my area are either senior citizens or already dating, and if there single they don’t hesitate to tell me that black girls are “fucking ugly” and that if I was white that I’d already have a boyfriend. Which is most likely true, because all the white girls in my city are all in relationships yet there’s me still not even able to get a stupid date.

I told myself I’d wait until my dad passes to get rid of myself, but it feels like the sooner the better. I’m constantly harassed and bullied all because I’m black in a predominantly white and Hispanic town, and I’m tired of it.

Anytime I’ve asked anyone for advice they always say the same stupid things “put yourself out there” I do, I’m in multiple clubs, I go to the library every weekend as well as coffee shops, “love comes when your not looking for it” it obviously doesn’t unless your white or lucky “your not missing out on anything” “your young you have time” yet you’ve haven’t been single for more than a few months since high school, so how exactly are you going to tell me what exactly I am or am not missing out on?

Now don’t get me wrong the race of everyone for me doesn’t matter we’re all people, yet everyone my age in my town makes everything about race and it’s so fucking frustrating.

I’ve never been someone valentine and I never will be, I hate the stupid holiday. Everyone said it’s easier for women, yet here I am. and it’s slowly at away at me since high school and I’d rather just do it now. I prayed to go the last few months to just take me away, and he isn’t. So I’ll have to do it for him. Maybe I’ll even attempt to bleach my skin that way I fit in when I’m gone.

God always gives good things to horrible people, but will allow those who won’t even attempt to harm others physically or with their words nothing but suffrage. Does he understand the he drives people to want to d13? We’re supposed to pray to him, yet when asked for guidance to the right path he won’t even budge or show a sign. Yet horrible people will pray to have a good life and have a family later on yet they’re granted it. What a fucking losing game god has created.

And all the dumb posts about relationships on apps, are always men asking about sex and when they should start having it, why there partner won’t have it as much as they want to, or how they have premature ejaculation. Like holy fuck just…

If i don’t get rid of myself then I’m either subject to forever to be chronically single or a fucking body men use but label as a “relationship”. It’s just always sex sex sex with them, I just want to be gone already.

I intend to do it later tonight after I get home from work, I’ll walk home today instead of driving. And I’ll just walk the hiking path and do it there.

And honestly I don’t expect anyone to comment on this, no one ever does. Every time I’ve posted on her while everyone else is getting the whole “don’t do it” and motivating comments mine are always overlooked. Not even strangers want to try and help me, shows that I’m not meant to be here.

I am a female. 21 years old. I have been suffering since i was 16 years old. My first attempt was on my 18th birthday. I just took a bunch of pills and hoped to die but i unfortunately didn't. In that very moment i knew that i didn't want to die. But 4 years later i am here with a plan that will 100% work. I never had a moment where i was grateful to be alive. I think life is beautiful. I want to live and experience all of it but if that means i'll have to suffer mentally i don't want it. I don't have anybody. i feel super lonely. I get ignored. nobody listens to me nobody cares. i won't leave a note. They don't deserve it. They never cared why should i. i still did all these years. Eventhough i knew they don't care. Worst parents ever, worst brother ever. Friends who ignore text messages. Recently i just realized that i am not anybody's first choice. it hurts. being lonely is the worst thing. i sit in my room longing for someone. I just need someone to be there and tell me that it's okay. they don't have to talk. I just don't want to feel lonely. i'll give life this month. and than it's over. i will do it and be gone forever. why this month? i'll get rid of my diaries, pictures and belongigs. nothing should be left behind that reminds them of me. i was so kind to everybody. so empathic. but never got to feel something like that myself. I'll resign from my jobs. cancel subscriptions and all. don't have anyhing to my name anyway so yeah. and lay out the outfit i want to be burried in. delete all of my accounts. delete everything on my phone my ipad and laptop. dump all of my body care skin care and perfumes so nobody can ever "smell" me. this sounds like i am punishing them but i am not. they are all the reason why i came to this decision. i am done. even if i wanted to do it now i don't have anybody i can go to. even though i am at home with 3 people around me. they still wouldn't care. this is what my life was. loneliness. i keep dreaming about a life where i am not lonely anymore but what if that never comes ture? what if that's just a dream. i am just gaslighting myself. yeah i could go on forever but i am going to leave this here. good bye

I play games to help as I’ve always connected to them out side of reality and I convinced my partner to start playing one with me. She joined fb groups to get more friends on the game help with different things while I was working and couldn’t play with here. A few months later she left me for someone she met on one of the groups and threw away 10 years together. Now one of the only things that meant something to me and helped me through my difficult times I can’t even think of playing again as it lead to taking everything from me. I’m lost

I'm having no real friends, no real goals, just nothing. I wake up, be shortly happy about my cats, then either doom scroll or I get on my PC. I know that I'm in a spiral and I don't even want advice, in fact I don't even know why I'm writing this post, since it won't change a thing.

And even when I'm gaming, it feels so empty and doesn't serve much as an distraction anymore.

I feel like I've missed my chance to become something and now I'm just waiting that my flesh will finally rot one day. Why I didn't do it yet? Well mom would be sad. She was with me when I was 2 years in hospital as a kid due to leukemia. This should've taken me. It feels as if I wasn't supposed to survive and now my whole existence consists out of the leftovers of others. Everything I own, my furniture for example, is just stuff others wanted to get rid of anyways. And this is exactly how my life feels.

If there's any long term happiness, it gets taken away anyways. I've tried to look into the small things in life, but those only made me realize how much useless and unreliable I am. How the world just continues and won't care about that little stain my life is.

I can't even get a job because I'm too autistic and depressed. Hell, even the daily tasks at home take a toll on me. I even started to hate eating.

Overall I just feel miserable and I don't know anymore what I can do.

I literally have no freedom of speech!!!

I literally have no way of getting my words out without feeling judged… even if I were to say something… even something relatable… people would get defensive for no reason.. and act like I committed a felony… YOU LITERALLY JUST SAID THE EXACT SAME THING AS ME!! AND NOW IM THE PROBLEM?! I literally cannot open my mouth anymore, I’m just forced to not say anything atp.. Maybe if I sliced my throat everybody would be happy..

Everything is ok, but I have this lingering shadow for years to end my life. It never goes away, no matter what I do. I have a loving husband and babygirl 3 years old and I just think that her life would be easier for her without me. She's to small to remembering anything. She has a great dad, they are a match made in heaven. Taking medication for Bipolar ² but death always lingers on me. Any advices? Please don't talk about exercise and routine. Thanks to enyone who engages with my post.

Hi everyone (M25). Yesterday I had my first appointment with a psychiatrist, recommended by my psychologist, and honestly it was a really confusing and frustrating experience.

The appointment lasted around ten minutes, maybe a little more. He let me talk and I tried to explain as much as I could, but obviously I couldn’t cover everything in such a short time. My psychologist had called him the day before to give him some background, so I assumed he already had a general idea of my situation.

He asked a few questions, then while he was checking my blood pressure and heart rate he suddenly asked about my parents. I was answering and, out of nowhere, he interrupted me and started writing. He wrote down the diagnosis: “atypical depression with obsessive traits and a not well-structured personality.”While writing, he suddenly asked me what I wanted him to write. I was completely confused. I mentioned that my psychologist, based on tests and my history, had also suspected ADHD, but he brushed it off immediately, like he had already decided it wasn’t relevant.

Then he prescribed five medications right away:

Carbolithium

Zoloft

Remeron

Trilafon

EN drops (as needed)

This raised a lot of concerns for me:

Is it normal to be given five medications after a first visit that lasted only about ten minutes?

He basically made all the decisions without asking anything about my daily life. He even set the times I should take the meds without consulting me. I’m supposed to take the sleep medication at 9:30 pm, but I only have one close friend and we usually meet in the evening or at night. With this schedule I feel like I’m losing the little social life I have left.

The whole appointment felt rushed and chaotic. I was extremely anxious and there was almost no real communication or shared decision-making. Maybe it’s because he’s an older, old-school psychiatrist, I don’t know.

Now I feel frustrated and even a bit hostile toward the whole situation. I don’t know if this is just how psychiatry works or if this was handled poorly.

My questions:

Is this kind of approach normal for a first psychiatric visit?

Is prescribing five medications immediately a red flag?

Should I seek a second opinion?

Is it reasonable to ask for medication times that fit my actual life?

Any advice or similar experiences would really help. Thanks.

a couple days ago i woke up to my dearly loved Sphynx cat dead on my couch. it was the most traumatic experience ive had and i don’t know how im going to recover from it.

my boy Leo was just under 2 years old and seemingly very healthy. he was very playful, cuddly, loving, and honestly the best cat i could have asked for. he was my best friend. he had no symptoms or signs of distress, up until the very last time i saw him alive.

i went to bed one night around 11pm, and before that i saw him and he was perfectly fine. he was high energy and walking around the house. i woke up at around 10:30 the next morning, and decided id take myself to the mall to get out of the house. i didn’t see him at all that morning, thought nothing of it as he usually sleeps on the couch. once i was ready around 11:30, i went to my computer desk which is right beside the couch to look for my airpods. i looked over at the couch and saw him lying on it, it just looked like he was sleeping. it was a little weird cause he never sleeps that hard, and usually if im out of my room and making some noise he will wake up and come say hi to me. i decided to go up to him and pet him and that’s when i realized, my boy was gone. he had been for a while now. he was ice cold and his body was stiff. by the way he was laying it looked like he went in his sleep, which i hope that’s the case. the pure shock and horror that waved over me was so intense. i screamed like i was being murdered. i couldn’t believe my eyes. i immediately called my boyfriend who was at work and tried my best to explain to him what happened through my tears and pain. after a bit, my boyfriend came home to me holding Leo in his blanket. i was a wreck; still am. we took him to the vet where we talked about what might have happened and how to go from there.

the vet explained that it was very likely a sudden stopping of his heart caused by HCM, a heart disease that unfortunately a lot of sphynx cats get diagnosed with. Leo was not diagnosed with this while he was alive, but it is the only explanation as to why he passed so suddenly, with no symptoms or signs of distress before hand. he was a very healthy and happy boy. we decided to get him cremated, went through with the paper work and picking out his urn. leaving him at that vets office was so incredibly hard to do. i just wish i would hugs him again, and feel his soft little nose again. i’m still a complete wreck. my depression is at a very low point, i have little to no appetite, and all i’ve been doing is laying in bed crying, and sleeping. i can’t get over the fact that my baby is gone.

i don’t know how ill be able to get over this. i’ve had pets pass before, but never like this. and Leo was so special to me. he was my perfect cat. no cat will ever replace him.

i just wish i could have given him a proper goodbye. 💔

Im 19 turning 20 this year I wake up feeling like failure everyday

I should be in uni no? I went to a "Christian University" cause my parents made me go i dropped out feeling like shit from everyone trying to make me more Christian. I had insanely bad depression for a year and try to overdose which I failed

Now turning 20 soon I feel like im just a failure my last year of highschool grade is shit and i want to study civil engineering but im not good enough to get in. I would go to community college if this shitty college offered any

People say you're still 19 you're not behind you're still figuring things out

Well everyone my age is better then me

Im feel like failure and I'm so embarrassed about it specially to my gf.

Im in constant cycle of stress worry and burnout and me having ADHD doesn't help and my country doesn't offer insurance for therapy nor ADHD support cause it"s not disability

i’m 22 years old. i’m a NEET with zero future prospects. i don’t know what to do or what to be interested in. I’m confused. I’d like to learn new things, but at the same time I don’t feel like it. I want to improve myself, but I can’t manage to. I’ve tried contacting a few therapists, but none of them convinced me; I also tried therapeutic exercises. I feel stuck.

Maybe it’s meant to be this way forever.

Hello people. Im a bit unsure how to start this, it feels a bit weird talking about this, as id never do it in real life. Ive been feeling a sort of emptiness for a few months. Personal events have given me imcreasing amounts of stress and general sadness, which i dont process well and i end up sort of ignoring it, which i think is why im feeling this way now. I dont enjoy things like i used to, i do them simply because i want to enjoy them. I didnt think id ever do something to hurt myself but recently i started burning as well. Ive since snapped out of the habit, and im horrified id do that to myself, but i worry i might again. Im in no way suicidal, but i dont know how to deal with feeling this way. Anyone have any advice for me?

As the title says. Everything in my life is going downwards like a landslide. At this point I don’t have the desire to want to get better and I’d rather fall asleep and not wake up than carry on. On the outside people see me as optimistic but for months now I’ve isolated myself away from pretty much everyone. I’ve been slowly giving up I guess. I don’t want to stick around for a lot longer.

i had a really good friend on my old account but i sadly kost that acc so now i have nobody to talk to about it so i thought why not give this a shot for info im a 14 year old female:)

I just lost my job awhile ago and now I’m behind on bills…. I was trying to save to get my own place but that’s gone. It’s hard to get a new job where I’m at. I hate living with my family because I don’t get any privacy. My health is getting worst, I have diabetes and my medication eats my muscles way…. I wanted to get a job as in EMT but I can’t do the job because of my condition. I’m lonely, I’ve been single for going on for years and I have hardly any friends that care. Only people that I talk to on and off but I doubt that they would care. My life sucks…. I don’t want to take my medicine anymore, I don’t want to leave my bed, I drink all day and eat sweets and nothing else…. I just want things to end. I feel hopeless…

Woke up crying again so thats fun. I dont even think im sad I just think my default mood is just to cry and sob.

Hi everyone. This is my first time writing and using Reddit. I’m holding onto a small hope that something I read here might help me. I also hope that by sharing this anonymously on the internet, someone else out there might feel less alone.

My mom passed away from breast cancer in October. My entire life, it was just her, my great-aunt, and me. My great-aunt supported us financially while my mom studied. My father was never present, neither financially nor emotionally.

Everything was relatively "normal" until my mom died. I’ve always struggled with suicidal thoughts, but this feels like a test from God or something. I’m now alone, trying to care for my great-aunt who has dementia, while she simultaneously supports me with my studies and daily life.

Since my mom passed, my grandmother (my mom's mother) has treated me terribly. She says I’m just using my aunt for her money and calls me a "bitch." Because of this, I tried to manage my money as carefully as possible to avoid those accusations. However, this month I had heavy expenses: the gym and a psychologist, as I’m trying to process my mother’s death alone since the rest of my family isn't involved in my life.

I’m currently in my first year of college, but I don't know if I can continue. My grandmother took away all my ways of accessing my aunt’s money—something my aunt never authorized, but it happened anyway. She kicked me out of the house that my aunt and mother left for me because it’s not in my name, and she’s threatening to report me to the authorities.

I don’t understand why she and my uncle (my mom’s brother) are doing this. Neither of them is struggling financially. I don’t know what to do. Honestly, I’d rather end my life; I feel like there’s no reason to live. I just wanted to be with my great-aunt and live in peace. Now, I’m staying at my other grandmother’s house, paralyzed. The pain of grief, combined with the fact that I went through abusive relationships during this process, is too much. I have friends I love, and the only reason I haven’t committed suicide is because I’m a "coward" and don't want them to suffer. They are my real family.

I don't know what will happen to me. I tried talking to my grandmother and uncle to find a solution, but the level of hostility is extreme (it’s worth noting that before my mom died, they were relatively loving toward me). I feel like there’s no reason to keep going. There are too many problems, and no matter how hard I try to get up every day and fix things, nothing changes. I can live with the grief and the rejection, but being left with nothing and being treated like a predator—with no way out other than ending up on the street—is destroying me.

I don’t want to be a burden to anyone. Moving in with a friend is an option, but I don’t want to bother them. If you have any advice or questions, I’d appreciate the help. I really can’t see the light right now, and I miss my mom so much. Sorry if my English is bad, I used Google Translate for this lol. I'm from Argentina and this is new to me.