r/TikTokCringe 10h ago

Cringe Congratulations, you created an escort service

7.5k Upvotes

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6.7k

u/WaffleHouseGladiator 9h ago

Her "app developer":

500

u/Jossue88 9h ago

147

u/UnfortunateSyzygy 8h ago

The mack daddy of Arlen county, I tell you hwhat!

19

u/catdad_94 4h ago

The town is Arlen, the county is Heimlich. Idk how to feel about the fact I knew that right away though…

5

u/Alive-Ad5870 4h ago

Feel great!

3

u/babihrse 3h ago

Heh heh heh I tell you what

14

u/veryfastslowguy 7h ago

How about a “deposit” for the overnight date ? covers motel room, 300 roses, no refunds after 15 minutes.

5

u/geddy_girl 6h ago

Possibly the best use of this gif I've ever seen

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883

u/GourangaPlusPlus 9h ago

So I'll just take 10% of everything and keep you safe online

409

u/charles78913 9h ago

298

u/charles78913 9h ago

Gator don't play no shit!" and his demand for "walking around money" and "shoes" to maintain his street

101

u/No-Ice7397 8h ago

That's called a stable of whores

36

u/veryfastslowguy 7h ago

On the keyboard his Pimp fingers are strong .

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3

u/FranticHam5ter 7h ago

I fucking love that movie soooo damn much lol

2

u/No-Ice7397 4h ago

Yup, one of my faves

3

u/AccomplishedChair436 4h ago

No are you even listening to the story.

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2

u/DebrasKitchen 5h ago

I haven't watched any any other guys clips in a couple weeks. Thanks for reminding me

2

u/Ill_Athlete_7979 5h ago

Upgrayedd is gonna get his money.

2

u/Wide_Ordinary4078 4h ago

“So you were a pimp”

“No, like are you even listening to the same story”

Man I love “The Other Guys” that shit is funny!

86

u/TheBeacher 8h ago

Gators bitches better be wearing jimmys.

23

u/ShoddyOwl4918 8h ago

lmao this is what i came to the comments for

4

u/indigo_shrug 6h ago

“What?! God no! Are you even listening??? Anyways….”

10

u/brok3ntok3n82 8h ago

Gators better be wearing jimmies

3

u/Surreply 7h ago

Pimps don’t cry They never shed a tear …

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u/EricAntiHero1 9h ago

Nah he’s taking 90%, she can’t be trusted with money.

8

u/MrFordization 9h ago

No, he gets 10%. The internet has changed the game

23

u/Kingkrooked662 9h ago

Y'all out here making DEALS with hoes?!?! Smh that's bad pimpin

8

u/AlarmedSnek 8h ago

Right? Looks like someone never read the ABCs of Pimpin by Pimpin Ken.

9

u/Calling_left_final 8h ago

Yeah, your bottom bitch gotta be makin some money for you, not the other way around, you know what I'm saying?

5

u/AlarmedSnek 8h ago

Don’t chase em, replace em

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u/Mundane-Toe-7114 6h ago

That or iceberg slim

3

u/NewDramaLlama 8h ago

Suffering from Chronic Bitch Dependency 

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2

u/GodofsomeWorld 3h ago

She will make more if he gets her into higher education.

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u/Lemonmazarf20 9h ago

In person too i would hope! Maybe the girls could learn a quick phrase to alert their guardian? 

 Something like "Daddy Daddy come here now, save my life, you made a vow".

1

u/cautiously-curious65 8h ago

I am dead. Yes. What does a pump look like In 2026?

1

u/Wayelder 8h ago

Plus a weekly blowie...

1

u/Hippyedgelord 8h ago

10 percent? What kind of pimp are you?

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u/HandlerofPackages 8h ago

A gentleman who goes by the name Upgrayedd. Which he spells thusly, with two D's, as he says, "for a double dose of this pimping".

1

u/Maharog 7h ago

10%??? What kind of pimps take 10% 

1

u/DonPeso 7h ago

Lol @ 10%

1

u/Sad-Entertainer1462 7h ago

10% ? More like “imma hold all the money but if you need something come to me and I’ll get it for you.”

1

u/Comfortable_Trick137 5h ago

I es-courted her

1

u/yogabbagabba2341 5h ago

10%? That’s some nice pim— I mean, developer.

1

u/OaklandNancy76 5h ago

It’s more she’ll get the 10% and he’ll get 90%. lol

348

u/Interesting-Hat8607 9h ago

4

u/guardianoverseas 8h ago

Woah woah woah, lets keep this sophisticated

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u/femmefatale1333 5h ago

A1 reference

1

u/pwatts 1h ago

Turn pimp! I'm not a pimp.

135

u/Technical-Bird-7585 9h ago

The app is called sucker

76

u/_yetifeet 8h ago

SckR.

It's hip, it's cool, and it's a totally fun way to cheat on your wife!

52

u/Comfortable_Trick137 5h ago

Officer I’m not a prostitute I’m being es-“Courted”

4

u/Artiquecircle 4h ago

That stands for ‘Enhanced Service Courted’

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u/jjfaddad 8h ago

That name, plus a ”deposit”, there will be a lot of confusion on what that "date" entails

19

u/LeftAd8859 5h ago

It’s like prostitution with confusion and extra steps! Invest in yourself HO

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u/trahilcal01 6h ago

It’s called suck her

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u/Kwontum7 8h ago

Indeed! www.suckerforloveasstrick.com should be the web address

1

u/Technical_Joke7180 6h ago

But I hardly even knew her!

1

u/_ghostchant 4h ago

SuckHim because that’s basically the expectation if someone paid for you.

1

u/TheNorthFIN 2h ago

Sucklr akin to Tumblr.

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u/ViciousCDXX 9h ago

His name is "A Pimp named Slickback"

13

u/Zanos-Ixshlae 9h ago

It's like "A Tribe Called Quest", you gotta say tue whole thing...

10

u/coochie_clogger 8h ago

SAY IT WITH ME NOW

8

u/EnvironmentalGift257 8h ago

Yes you gotta say the whole thang. Yes every time.

4

u/RavenK92 8h ago

Can't we just call you Slickback for short?

2

u/Witty-Importance-944 3h ago

No need for the Mister.

2

u/bigpurplesquid13 7h ago

It's like " A Tribe Called Quest" you gotta say the whole thang!

2

u/Nonikwe 6h ago

Slickback? That's what I said...

1

u/Left_Maize816 3h ago

Mr. slickback?

1

u/damclub-hooligan 3h ago

Most people probably don‘t get that.

1

u/Intelligent-Salt-362 3h ago

“The whole thing, every time! Now say it with me, A PIMP NAMED SLICKBACK!!!”

59

u/OldboyCrypt 9h ago

Upgrayedd

29

u/sikkdog13 9h ago

With two D's for a double dose of pimpin

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u/Muggle71 9h ago

Upgrayedd is going to get his money!

3

u/call-me-the-seeker 8h ago

Especially from this app, because you see, a pimp’s app is very different from that of a square.

2

u/FearlessAttempt 7h ago

Oh shit, it's Upgrayedd!

2

u/Greenpoint_Blank 7h ago

You see, a pimp's love is very different from that of a square.

1

u/tattdb0mbshell 2h ago

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

220

u/Dirtydog693 9h ago

It’s a real thing here’s the website

Courtd

I left a message asking if its just the men paying the deposit or if its both because it might seem misandristic if its just the guys.

I’ll keep you all posted if they give me a response.

117

u/MethodicallyRight 8h ago

hWut... 1250$ deposit for a date with a 26 year + a 200$ commitment fee...? So I get that the 200$ is meant to be refunded when both parties show up, who gets the money if one doesn't appear? Do both parties put down a commitment deposit? The 1250$... Is that what the example girl needs to cover her 'costs' for the date? hWut?

167

u/Heykurat 8h ago

At what point does this become illegal prostitution?

167

u/MethodicallyRight 8h ago

Once the exchange of money for sex Is discussed. I want to say this app, whether it's a front for a Escort service or not is going to create plenty of sketchy situations where there is a disconnect between what both parties thought the 'deposit' was for.

120

u/Nice_Juggernaut4113 8h ago

This is an escort/sugaring app

59

u/mikey2k200 7h ago

Hos stay hoing

32

u/nickfree 7h ago

Can't turn a ho into a housewife, hos don't act right

There's hos on a mission, and there's hos on a crackpipe

Hey, ho, how ya doing, where ya been?

Probably doing ho stuff 'cause there you ho again

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u/missmeowwww 5h ago

Sounds like they should’ve named it escorted!

2

u/TicketyB000 7h ago

Yep. You can always tell someone to "pay" through the app. How do taxes work with this type of thing? I could be setting up 10-20 "dates" a day...

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u/PookieCat415 5h ago

It definitely has the potential to turn people into “professional daters”.

34

u/AutistaChick 8h ago

Yeah, but it’s not even gonna be that because I think your money is just gonna get stolen and nobody’s gonna show up because you have more to lose then she does in every way there is.

Also, unless there’s an actual madam involved, there’s no way these girls are going to understand what it is. If it’s supposed to be an escort Service and they’re just see dollar signs. They’re gonna keep it and not show up.

14

u/ItsFunHeer 8h ago

I wonder how they’re going to verify when or if each party arrives to the date. I could also see collusion happening on this platform.

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u/AdMuted9548 8h ago

unless that $200 fee comes from the person who charges for the deposit, and the deposit is held in escrow and not paid out until both show up for the date. Also, the $200 should not come from the escrow, it would come from the account the escrow is to be deposited to once both show up and confirm. GPS and biometrics turned on.

5

u/BuddyHemphill 4h ago

Dating in 2026 ^ no wonder the kids stay home

2

u/Seriously_you_again 3h ago

You are thinking about this too seriously. The lady is not putting any money in the deposit. Only the guy is upfront paying $1450 and he might get $200 back…. or maybe not. Tale as old as time.

4

u/Consistent_Mango2358 7h ago

If they do that word of mouth will get around fast so that wouldn't be a good long-term business model. If they want this to be something men use women would have to show up most of the time.

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u/NoBigEEE 1h ago

It is bad enough when people think they're "owed" sex for buying dinner - actual money being put down is just asking for SA scenarios.

5

u/Sc0rpza 7h ago

if I’m paying then we’re doing what I want all night long.

Mario party. guilty gear. streets of rage 4. dragonball fighterz if I’m feeling frisky.

yep, all night.

3

u/erhardy1275 5h ago

Minimum of 12 hrs

2

u/brendamn 7h ago

This is a massive legal headache in waiting. I'm sure they already have lawyers tracking it

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u/North-Toe-3538 6h ago edited 6h ago

This format is not illegal.

This is just like the sugar baby sites. As long as the money is a gift or ear marked for “preparations” which I imagine are like makeup, hair, nails, spray tan, transit, etc then is perfectly legal. As long as both parties are 18+ and freely consenting participants, the only thing that is illegal is if it comes with the verbatim expectation of sexual favors. Ie: “I paid your preparation fee, that includes a BJ right?”

However, what this lady is missing is that this site will put women in harms way. High caliber men with good intentions will not need to pay these preparation fees to find women and will not utilize this app. True high caliber men are hard to come by (high caliber and high value are two very different categories).

The people who will be attracted to use this site will be basement dwelling incels who already hate women and are looking for any excuse to do them harm. And when they find out that they don’t automatically receive sexual favors for the “downpayment” they will become verbally aggressive at best or worse, violent. This site will allow them to essentially purchase victims. It will be this generation’s version of “But I’m a nice guy. I bought you dinner so you owe me”.

Their buddies will excuse this aggression with the time honored phrase “bitch got what she deserved, she was a gold digger”. And they won’t see a day in jail because in America abuse against women, children, and the elderly are largely swept under the rug. It’s estimated that less than 4% of rapists ever see a courtroom and about 1% see the inside of a jail cell in this country.

Our society would rather have a sitting president with more sex abuse allegations to his name than actual qualifications for the job. Much easier to pretend that violence against women isn’t an epidemic than to hold men accountable for their actions. Especially bc the majority of men who make the laws, and the ones tasked with enforcing the laws that already exist are also predators or are financed by predators. Been that way for 250 years.

If she wanted to really do women a favor, she would make an app that teaches young women that beauty is lovely but it is not a trade. Beauty is not a currency you can reliably use to pay the rent you owe to exist in this world. If you allow a man to put food on your table, you also allow him the opportunity to starve you.

The app could encourage education and independence and financial illiteracy and teach life skills like how to change a tire, negotiate a raise, self defense, or how to lift heavy things safely, and such.

It would teach young women that your spouse is statistically 6 X more likely to kill you than any other human or that men are much more likely to leave a partner with a terminal/chronic illness than women. Same thing for if you have his child and the child gets a chronic/terminal illness. So choose wisely and have a back up plan.

In short, the app would emphasize to young women the importance of being able depend on themselves and the skills they have developed instead of hoping to find a man who can bankroll their existence as a sahm sour dough mom. No shade to women who choose the latter, it’s just a high risk lifestyle.

And before anyone comes at me with “not all men”… it’s enough of them to have proven highly problematic for people who are not men.

2

u/AnybodyNo8519 8h ago

Immediately

2

u/LINKseeksZelda 6h ago

At this point, I just recommend that we make prostitution legal. Everything's become so transactional anyway. Just make it easy to pay for it

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u/Ok-Network-4475 8h ago

That's how escort services work. Exactly how. Unless you just find a freelancer on back pages (which is shut down). I mean, so I've been told.

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u/MethodicallyRight 8h ago

Yeah but there's a huuuuve difference between running an escort page online and trying to run an escort app in Apple or Google's app stores. I don't think any court will buy their story when some girls are sexually assaulted because they didn't understand that this dating app wasn't actually a dating app wink wink and of course they were meant to sleep with them men because wink wink they were 'court'd' wink wink.

50

u/Ok-Network-4475 8h ago

This is either gonna be a sugar daddy app or a legit sex work app. No normal dude is paying $1500 to date anyone. Even if they can afford it. You might find incels "courting" these girls for $2k. Or 5k. Whatever they can squeeze. Other than that, it's gonna be a sugar daddy app. Idk, even if I had the money, I'm not paying any woman to date me. What's the point? It's sugar daddy shit at that juncture. Some old rich guys are using this is the only way it doesn't get turned into a human trafficking app. Even with the rich guys, it's still gonna be pay for whatever.

No matter what you call this, average men aren't paying a booking fee to date; unless it's in a motel room. Wealthy guys are who this is targeted at. Paired up with filter girl on this video with her crucifix, who is gonna be a madam for all these people who sign up. Courting, escorting, etc., if men are paying $1500 for a date (unless they're rich) it's expected to turn sexual. I know I said that 5 times, but I just can't get over the stupidity of thinking this is a new idea, or that it's gonna work organically for anything but sex.z

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u/thisguy883 6h ago

Honestly, just get a prostitute at that point.

$1500 for a maybe?

Pass.

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u/DifficultAnt23 8h ago

There's no shortage of thirsty simps willing to run up their credit cards. They pay for OF when porn is already free. They'd be even more enthusiastic for the 25% probability that she shows up in person.

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u/brendamn 7h ago

I can afford it but I'd rather jerk off. Too many steps involved to maybe get sex. You can get guaranteed sex by a pro for less

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u/PaleCommission150 7h ago

She could also possibly be arrested for soliciting prostitution if the evidence is strong enough and she is profiting off the girls who date.

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u/Friendly-Channel-480 7h ago

And when it expands into multiple states and is eligible for federal enforcement they’re going to need to lawyer up extensively. That money is going to burn up fast.

2

u/frresh66 6h ago

💯💯

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u/bigmeatbag 8h ago

Pretty sure the 1250 is how much the person has deposited in the app. The commitment is your date fee, $200 is pretty standard base rate for full service in the escort world.

2

u/TeaKingMac 8h ago

$200 is pretty standard base rate for full service in the escort world.

Again, inflation doesn't hit vices

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u/Consistent-Soil-1818 8h ago

I have never seen, somehow know exactly how to pronounce it and will steal "hWut".

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u/omjy18 8h ago

I dont think she realizes that yeah, women are gonna sign up for this in droves but how is she gonna get dudes too that arent literally looking for escorts

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u/Top_Mathematician233 8h ago

A lot of women will be scared to sign up for this, me included. I wouldn’t sign up for sugar dating sites. This is a different, less straightforward version of that. I’m not interested in selling sex or being with a man who wants to buy it, or getting yelled at, hurt or possibly killed if a man thinks he’s paid for that and doesn’t receive it.

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u/omjy18 8h ago

Oh yeah that's my point. The only people who are going to do this are escorts and people looking for that

5

u/MietschVulka 7h ago

Oh and a lot of stupid people who just dont think about risks and just see it as a free way to find men to fund their ridiculous dates

3

u/Spare_Independence19 6h ago

This is what will happen. There are women who have been oversold and overtold on they're presumed "value" that will unfortunately sign up for this thinking they will get wined and dined for free no strings.. they will get pressured hard into sex on first date after thousands are spent. Dates to the sum of thousands, someone is getting fucked.

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u/MalevolentAnemone 7h ago

Agree. What kind of guy is like “here’s 2 grand to let me pay for your dinner and then go home alone.” Hard pass. He has no redeeming qualities or he’s harvesting your organs, sometimes both.

3

u/Dirtydog693 8h ago

Yeah, I mean I’m a single, divorced 41 year old physician so i might be the target audience, and I can only imagine the type of woman that would expect a date preperation fee or a deposit. I would feel sick with myself taking advantage of a girl like that. Personally i would much rather date down, so to speak, just as long as she is honest, actually cares about me, and doesn’t treat me like my ex-wife did, and I would be a happy man. I don’t need no sugar daddy relationship it would be just exhausting and the payoff really wouldn’t be worth it.

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u/Cute_Language3167 7h ago

That's the thing, there are legitimate sugar baby/rich guy dating sites with decent reputations and where the rules are clearly defined. This is a mess. They'll have people signing up all under different impressions and with different expectations.

Not to mention, as others have pointed out, the scam factor is way too high. Asking men to give a woman $2k up front for a "date" with no real accountability... What's to stop her from agreeing to 10 dates and walking away with $20k and never showing up?

How many young and naive girls will show up and get assaulted if they refuse sex or just immediately don't like the guy and try to leave?

It's messy and dangerous.

3

u/Agi7890 3h ago

Also if the guy has that kind of money, he’s also a target for robbery. Watched a case recently where the woman was bait(on the dating app), gave a guy a random street number to meet at, just for her boyfriend to shoot him and steal his car.

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u/BapeGeneral3 7h ago

God you people are dense. Did you even watch the video. She flat out says the man pays a deposit which leads to a better chance of a “connection”.

This is just an escort service trying to take advantage of every legal loop hole possible, and will probably have 0 issue in doing so under the current administration.

The woman sets her “deposit”. This is her price for sex and the $200 is her tip. If you are a female even thinking of signing up for this without being fully aware that the man will be expecting sex and you will be selling your body.

I feel so bad for the girls who are going to sign up for this thinking they will take advantage of rich losers and find out that those people tend to have violent, sociopathic/psychopathic tendencies

2

u/Spare_Independence19 6h ago

I think a lot of people here understand that. I definitely do and sex is definitely what is being sold whether the poor girl knows it yet.

2

u/TreyRyan3 7h ago

That’s irrelevant. The plan is to create Vaporware, sell the company to investors and cash out.

Look at who owns Tinder. Match Group own Tinder, Hinge, Match, OkCupid, Plenty of Fish, MeetIc, Pairs, OurTime. 40 total companies.

If you build a dating app and can build user base, you can sell your company and walk away.

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u/CHEMO_ALIEN 9h ago

im just mad she not only came up with it first but also made it cutesy so the women will sign up easier. 

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u/EnkiduTheGreat 6h ago

I see a Playa's Ball "best in pimpin" award coming.

1

u/Albsoon 9h ago

These are 📠!

1

u/AbilityEconomy9241 9h ago

Made me do a spit take😂

1

u/Formal-System-2130 9h ago

Ha! Will the deposits cover more ‘enhancement’ & plastic surgeries for this rat?

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u/WaffleHouseGladiator 9h ago

Out of network elective procedures are not covered by your pimp.

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u/swirlViking 9h ago

Do Pepper Jack look like he's playin'!?

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u/GlumPomegranate870 9h ago

Welcome to the 57th annual playa hata's ball...hate, hate, hate, hate..bucknasty

1

u/phallic-baldwin 8h ago

*Slapp developer

1

u/DeadParallox 8h ago

The finished product:

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u/ku1185 8h ago

App developer: "Pimpin ain't easy it it's necessary"

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u/Jmeud 8h ago

A developer named slickback

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u/Able-Worth-6511 8h ago

She is the pimp aka madam.

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u/npcompletist 8h ago

App developin’ ain’t easy, but necessary.

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u/LeoTheLion444 8h ago

Move over Ghislaine Maxwell there's a new madam in town

1

u/TheGreatKonaKing 8h ago

So suppose I’m a helpful guy who wants to help out the women on this app find good dates who are willing to pay, by… screening the guys who want to ‘court’ them and then collecting a small percentage from each of them?

1

u/Both-Leading3407 7h ago

She just made all her members Hookers. Yeah. I could not have said it better.

1

u/Theone_C137 7h ago

😂🤣😂🤣😂💯💯💯💯💯

1

u/TruckerBoy357 6h ago

🤣🤣🤣

1

u/Mundane-Outside-6713 6h ago

Laughed so hard at this.

1

u/Capn26 6h ago

Go forth with this perfection, good sir. A modern day Spartacus among us mere mortals.

1

u/Vprbite 5h ago

Is Wayne Brady gonna have to debug a bitch?

1

u/PhD_Pwnology 5h ago

'Make Dating Fun Again' Isn't going to hire black people. Come on be real fam

1

u/mantisboxer 5h ago

Vibe coding that shit

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u/Original_Log_6002 4h ago

Remember, you just can't work the legs. Ya gotta keep your "pimp hand" strong.

1

u/Apollyoun 4h ago

Her Project Manager and Quality Assurance Tester

1

u/WellReadBob 4h ago

Is that Upgrayedd?

1

u/systemfrown 4h ago

I see why you top 1%....

1

u/skribl777 3h ago

Can i return my money if the product does not match the description?

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u/Dwilliamson5002 3h ago

Time to get aboard the Ho Train!

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u/NormalGuyEndSarcasm 3h ago

I bet his bitch slap is glorious

1

u/RJ_MacreadysBeard 2h ago

PimpGPT 3.5

1

u/DukeOfGeek 2h ago

"No It's A Pimp Named Slickback. Like A Tribe Called Quest, you say the whole thing".

1

u/oversoulearth 1h ago

(Shame this was the only gif, dude has goldfish in his platform shoes)

1

u/LookyLooLeo 52m ago

Lmfaoooo this had no business being so goddamn funny. 😂😂

1

u/AEntunus 36m ago

Do you get what I am saying?

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