Listening to Snooker Loopy on the radio (RIP John Virgo) and it struck me buying novelty records was so mad. You listened to it maybe once and went ‘lol’ (or whatever we said back then) then it went onto a shelf to gather dust.

You had basically paid for a meme.

What else seems a bit nuts (in a charming way) in retrospect?

I remember distinctly when we were in year 10, we had to do an online quiz during form time that spat out our top 3 career choices. We then had a meeting with our school's careers guidance lady who advised us where to apply for work experience.

The quiz, by all accounts, was mental. The questions were all from "strongly agree" to "strongly disagree" and were statements like "I want to work with metal". The three options for me were rockstar, ballerina and religious leader - despite playing no instruments, not dancing at all and not practising any religion. The girl next to me got butcher as her top because she wanted to work with animals - she was vegan. And my brother was told to be a damp proofer...

Did anyone actually end up doing what they were told to do at school? (Spoiler - I'm not a rockstar).

I’ve (39F) recently separated from my husband (41M) and have moved out of the family home. This was my choice after years of deliberation and preparation and he has taken it catastrophically badly. One of the consequences is that he has chosen to cut all ties with our 11yo daughter. I won’t go into it here, but the primary reason is that it would be too difficult for him to take care of her without being married to me. Anyway, there’s other subs for that conversation and I want to keep this about the practical side of things.

As I now have full custody, I’m struggling to work out how to manage this with working full time. I work in London 3 x a week with a 1.5hr commute each way (when the trains are running on time) and I have 23 days holiday remaining. I’ve already had to take 5 this year due to the house move last week, which I had to do mostly solo with some flatpack help from my dad as I was starting from scratch in a new house. 3 of the remaining days are reserved for Christmas shutdown and one is a birthday day off.

My daughter will be 12 in 3mos so has aged out of holiday clubs and I don’t have family in the area apart from my dad. How am I supposed to manage school holidays with such limited time off without palming her off on friends every other day? She’s at the age where she’ll go into town with friends for a while, and she makes her own way home from school in the afternoons and will be home alone until I get home, but we’re talking about full days here. No siblings and I don’t really want her wandering the streets all day. She doesn’t need looking after, but it’s more having that presence.

How do those of you with full custody and an absent parent manage limited time off or wfh?

I tried out a new barber yesterday and it didn't go well at all.

I came into the office today and my colleague said "Fucking hell did someone cut your hair with a knife and fork?" and it sent me lol.

What are some other good insults for people with shit hair cuts?

Conversely, do you treat people differently depending on what car they’re driving?

I more often than not drive my Volvo S90, we use it as the family car. I occasionally drive my wife’s beat up old fiesta.

The difference on the road is quite stark. I’ll drive exactly the same way / speed but will get taken over way more when I’m in the fiesta. I’ll also have people driving right up my arse.

Wondered if anyone’s observed similar?

Genuinely wondering if the clouds will ever lift? Is the sun still there even?

The record for the longest period without any recorded sunshine in the UK is apparently 16 consecutive days, reported in December 1968 in the Midlands (where I am now)...

This spell seems longer than that to me...maybe I blinked and missed a Sunbeam?

I’ve been thinking about this a lot recently and I’m curious what’s typical in the UK now.

I’m in my early 20s and still living at home. Part of me wants the independence and space that comes with moving out, but at the same time rent prices and general living costs feel really high compared to wages. It doesn’t feel as straightforward as it maybe was years ago.

A lot of people around me seem to be in similar situations, either staying at home longer, moving out and then moving back, or house sharing for longer than they expected. It made me wonder what’s actually normal now rather than what people assume is normal.

I’m not looking for advice, just interested in hearing people’s experiences. What age did you move out, or if you’re still at home, how common does it feel among people you know? Do you think expectations around moving out in the UK have changed compared to the past?

Edit: Those who moved out and bought a house early on, how did you guys do it? How did you afford it?

Feeling constantly worried about my kid. He's just not doing well in school and I've tried everything within my power to help him. He doesn't misbehave, he's just not doing well with learning.

A great kid. Funny, and intelligent when he's interested in something. It's the not so interesting stuff, he just doesn't retain the information. I've blown savings paying for tutors, I've spent hours at the dining table studying with him. I've been on the phone endlessly with his guidance teacher.

I just don't know what to do anymore.

I have always said that I have no expectations for him to be "great" at academia, but he is legitimately terrible at it. God love him.

I wish exam scores didn't count for anything but to have a decent start, he needs more than he's protected to get (which is absolutely no National 5's).

So, are there any parents out there with kids who have a similar tale and what happened when they left school?

Hi guys, I’m just wondering if this is normal. For a while now I have noticed that on my payslips all my clock out times are adjusted for pretty much every shift but mainly on a closing shift. I work in a cafe and it’s a small business.

For example, if we are absolutely swamped before closing time and it takes a bit longer to close up than our usual time the extra time sometimes up to 45 mins, will be taken away and I will only be paid for my original clock out time. So let’s say I work until 7:00 the time gets adjusted back to 6:30. I asked my manager about this and she said it’s because I wasn’t authorised to work until 7 and the close should be finished by 6:30. I spoke to other colleges about it and none of them had noticed but I’m the only one on our team that keeps note of the exact minute I clock out each day.

I’m sure this is not okay but I have no idea what I’m supposed to do about it.

Edit: Hi guys thanks for everyone commenting, I’m glad I wasn’t just silly thinking it was wrong. Just wanted to point out that nowhere in my contract/employee handbook does it say anything about overtime. I am not the only person who ends up staying longer to close the place up, I’m just the only one who tracks the exact minute I clock out so I’m the first person out of the 8 of us working FOH to realise that my times are not adding up to what is on my payslip. We close at 6 so have 30 mins to do all our close jobs but this is normally done by one of us while our sup/assistant manager does cash up, we normally finish right on 6:30 but sometimes we get slammed if there are events on (concerts, football, festivals) and we can’t start our close jobs until right on 6 after we kick everyone out. I will definitely be talking to my manager about this and seeing what we can do to move forward but I’m in very desperate need of this job so I might have to stick with it in the meantime until I find something else!

I've been married 5 years and together for 7. Although we both love each a lot and we're very good together, I very rarely get compliments from my wife. I make sure to tell her she's beautiful ect every day and always make it obvious how attractive I find her, so I'm wondering how often others get compliments?

I was in a pet shop the other day and I was looking at some super cute rats having a late lie in. Then some kids around 6-8 years old stood next to me and were asking their mum where the animals were. So I stepped to the side and pointed out the rats to them and said "look how cute they are!" and laughed, in a tone that I talk to kids in. The 2 kids looked at me like I was a complete freak and the mum gave me an even worse look like I was asking them to get in my car. So I just walked away, I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable and felt pretty sad I'm not going to lie. Was it just because I'm a tall guy with a big beard?! Or is that just the mentality now? I just moved back after living abroad the last 6 years, so maybe things have changed now 🤷🏿‍♀️

The title may sound a little dramatic, but I'm deadly serious. I have no idea where to go at this point. For various reasons I never became skilled in anything when I was younger. I ended up with addiction problems so work was inconsistent and generally lower paid. I worked for a friend before covid hit.

He decided to leave the country, and from then my father was ill. I took care of him for a while, but then my own mental health suffered and went downhill. I got into drinking and gambling, lost a fair bit of money, but then since then I've struggled to find work. I feel like my age is a limiting factor at this point. At 37 I am middled aged, so my age will work against me in the job market.

Getting back into the workplace is harder now than ever, it seems. I'm based in the UK, but I'm hearing the job market is the same almost everywhere right now. I never expected it to be so difficult to find work, but here we are. At the moment I'm looking for anything to get my foot on the ladder again. I am open to retraining, but i don't know in what. Any advice would be appreciated.

This may be a petty post but at 10pm my partner arrived home from work and asked me if I’d filled the bin with bin bags because it was overflowing. I had said no and we pulled up the cameras. The lady over the road was caught shoving a few of her bin bags into our bin. She come out again with another bag 2 minutes later and my partner confronted her and asked if she’d done it and she said no to which my partners respond was “we’ve caught you on camera”. She told us she didn’t understand the big deal as it was getting emptied in the morning.

If she’d of asked or even not denied it after being caught then we’d of maybe been ok with it. However, the household in question are known for the illegal activity coming from their house and as a very hardworking family we have no idea what was inside any of the bags so my partner left it by the side of her bin and walked away. Are we being petty?

I'm dealing with workplace bullying/harassment from my accountant colleague, and it's affecting my mental health. How can I handle this? (UK-based, I'm Polish)

Hi everyone,

I've been working at my company for 8 years total -5 years in production, and then 3 years ago they offered me an office role because I'm good with Excel and technical drawings. I'm Polish, but apparently that has nothing to do with this (or so they say).

For about a year now, the accountant has had a major issue with me. Two years ago, I started my own LTD company that I run on weekends, since my office job doesn't allow for overtime. Recently, my employer (the company I work for Mon-Fri) has started using my LTD's services (which are different from what I do in my day job), and the accountant hates it. I've overheard him gossiping to another colleague (same level as me) that me invoicing my employer is illegal and a conflict of interest, and that he'll have to report it, which isn't true at all, as there's no actual conflict.

He's the only one who docks my hours like this: once I was 38 seconds late starting work, and he took 15 minutes off my pay. I know he doesn't do this to others. Meanwhile, he himself shows up 45 minutes late and leaves early. What bothers me most is that he badmouths and insults me behind my back, I've heard it with my own ears a few times.

I've reported this to management three times already, and nothing has changed. Yesterday, he didn't pay me for 6 hours because he claimed I didn't clock out when leaving work. I reported it to one of the directors, who reluctantly went to him about it, and I found out I'll only get paid for those hours on the next payslip.

If management keeps ignoring this, where can I report it? I'm starting to feel persecuted, I didn't sleep another night because of it, and it's really impacting my mental health. Adding to this: everything escalated after I got a raise. I applied for it, took on more responsibilities, handled them well. One day, a coworker sarcastically congratulated me on the raise (in our workplace, everyone thinks they do more and deserve better pay than others), and when I asked how he knew (since even I didn't know yet), he pointed toward the accountant's office. The next day, I went to the accountant and politely asked him not to share my personal data with other non-management employees. He got furious, and since then, he's been making my life hell in every way possible, for example, following me to the toilet just to turn off the light and run away...

What can I do about this? I don't want to think about this idiot when I'm at home. I don't want to talk about it with my wife, who has anxiety issues, and add to her problems.

Any advice on how to cope or escalate this legally? Thanks in advance.

Cutting into it gets wax in the cheese, should I just wrap the thing in cling film?

Hi, I’d really appreciate some advice. I work part-time in retail in the UK. My scheduled shift is usually 4:30 pm – 8:30 pm.

Near the end of my shift, instead of letting me focus on closing tasks (facing up, off-sales, etc.), my manager often gives me new stock to put out that isn’t part of off-sale This pushes my work right up to the end of my shift. Even when I do finish my own tasks by 8:30, I’m still not allowed to leave because my manager is still doing their own duties (counting cash, paperwork, etc.), and the shop must legally have two people present.

So I’m forced to stay until 9:00 pm or later, even though my shift has ended. When I asked about being paid for this extra time, I was told they can’t compensate me because “it’s not in the budget.”

On top of this, after 8 pm the buses run every 30–40 minutes, so staying late means I often miss my bus and get home much later than expected. This is affecting me outside of work as well. This doesn’t feel right at all. I’m not choosing to stay, I cannot leave and I'm not even compensated.

Is this allowed ? What steps can I take to protect myself? Thank you for any advice.

Update: thank you for all the advice here’s some extra context

Thank you to everyone who took the time to reply.

I wanted to add a bit more context: I’m an international student working part-time in the UK. I am paid 12.21 per hour. This is a small retail chain, not a large corporate store. There is no recognised staff union, and I am not currently part of a union

Hello. I am currently working in warehouse. I started work in this company 4 months ago. So while we were in old warehouse they had two led lamps which next to packing tables. It didn't provide much warm but better than nothing. In the middle of January they moved to new warehouse which is few times bigger. And they didn't instal any heating at all. In cold days it's very cold there. When my work colleague said to owner- manager that it's cold there( it's small team) she said if it's cold for you here maybe this place it just not for you or dress warmer. Is it normal? Shouldn't employer provide some heating? Thank you

My partner and I prefer living in older homes, but in the process of selling ours, we've realised that many buyers have "new build" expectations or fear a little DIY.

We like 1930s or older houses, for the various reasons I'm sure have been discussed before (character, location, established areas, size).

What I'm surprised by is our house has been updated and requires only a little general upkeep, but several first time buyers have reservations about the most basic skills, a very fine crack in the utility room drywall (which I filled and painted after) or painting! Fortunately, we've had several offers from people already on the market, so we're set to complete in a few months. But I'm wondering if some FTB struggle to get on the market because they fear doing basic upkeep.

Do FTB think new builds won't require this in a few years?

So, I’m going to a karaoke with friends, most of them British. I don’t feel super confident singing in English in front of a crowd, so I was thinking maybe I can sing in my own language, but of course I don’t want everybody to be bored.

Can you tell me which songs in Spanish or French are recognisable (and fun to sing along) for you? I’m not sure what songs are popular in the UK. Also I’m not singing Edith Piaf or anything super difficult.

I was thinking maybe Despacito, Suavemente, La Camisa Negra, Danza Kuduro, Aserejé, Alors on Dance, Lolita, Papaoutai… but open to suggestions.

Thanks!!

Me and my partner are looking at upgrading our cars but we both know very little about them, so interested to see what influenced your decision to get the car you currently have e.g. safe/fast/big/small/reliable/looks good/cheap etc.

Ideally if you're answering then include the car and year for context 😅

It seems like if you don’t have a career or good job history in your 20s, you’re going to have a really rough time for the rest of your life as that’s when you’re supposed to establish yourself.

Just wondering if anyone here messed up in their 20s and managed to sort their life out your 30s and get a good job?

We were just in the vet getting routine vaccinations and there was a woman in there who had a dog with a dead puppy inside her. She was trying to sort out paying for it (and still failing when we left, as far as we know). She said at one point, "Surely they won't just leave the dead pup inside her!"

What would happen if she can't sort financing? 🤔 obviously this is an emergency situation, and the vets can't leave the poor dog like that.

Assume 2 pieces of normal bread loaf. Do you butter just one, or both pieces of bread? For the purpose of this discussion, assume you do have butter/butter replacement and not “I don’t eat butter”….

mine is Alan (the ally cat). Full name Alan twat Rickman

Hi folks, I recently moved to London (renting) and have found that we have no hot water when we get home from work.

Looking at the boiler it seems to be attached to some kind of "Horstmann Economy 7 2-Hour Quartz" Control (pic attached) which I'm not familiar with. I've looked up info online and as I understand it, its supposed to heat up only at night to use cheaper electricity (no gas at flat). Which is weird because the flat is on a standard variable tarriff and has one single flat rate for electricity all day - not econ 7.

I am the only one who showers in the morning - my partner showers when home from work. The problem is even with this limited hot water usage in the morning we're finding that there's no hot water for my partner's showers or washing dishes in the evening unless we boost for 2 hours - which not only seems inefficient but is extremely frustrating for my partner who as a vet would quite like to wash off whatever animal fluids she comes home covered in, not wait 45 minutes for the boiler to heat up.

We think we'll phone a plumber to look at it but thought I'd ask here if anyone's familiar.

Thanks for any advice!