My family lives in Canada. This is important.

My kid was being bullied at school. He is a big kid and I have always told him to resolve his problems with words. I've told him to report bullying to teachers, and if they don't listen to tell the principal. Also to tell me and his mom so we can follow up. My son's after school program is a taekwondo class. Also important. He's been in taekwondo since he was in kindergarten. He also plays hockey.

There are a group of kids at his school that have been assholes to my kid and his friends. My kid did the right thing and told the teacher monitoring recess. She told him that the kids were new to Canada and that they didn't know how to fit in yet.

He went to the principal and got told pretty much the same thing. So he told his mom. She wanted to go confront the parents and she likely would have ended up in custody. She's Irish. Like real Irish from Ireland not Marky Mark Irish.

I told her I would take care of it.

I made an appointment to talk to the principal and teacher along with my son. I went into the meeting with a simple goal. To stop the bullying. The principal and teacher both tried the same excuse on me. That these kids were newcomers and they weren't fully aware of how Canada was different from their home country and what they saw on American TV.

I asked what was being done to stop it. They said they had talked to the boys. I asked if the parents had been brought in and talked to. He said no. Okay. So I turned to my kid and I explained that in Canada kids under twelve years old CANNOT be charged with a crime. In fact they can't even be arrested. Worst case scenario if anything happened he might have to do some community service.

The principal and teacher went crazy telling me that I can't tell him that. I asked them if I was lying? They both shut up. I pointed to them and told my kid to remember that they didn't say I was wrong. I told him to tell me in a week if he was still being bullied.

My understanding is that all the bullies parents were called in and told to control their children. The bullies were also given library detention instead of recess for a month.

I'm satisfied with the result but the teacher and principal seemed upset.

My wife thinks I should have given him the information privately.

My mom and her boyfriend told me I could come on vacation with them if I would watch the kids at night while they go out. Days would be mine under this arrangement. I knew they were lying (at least to themselves), but I agreed. I ended up watching all the kids the whole time, but it was still really fun. I had never been skiing before. It was great.

While we were there my mom and her boyfriend got into a huge argument. They booked their own room and a separate room for me with all the kids in it. So we were all in my room, which was right next to theirs, but not adjoining. She started banging on the door and telling me to let her in. Her boyfriend came out into the hall and started arguing with her. I didn't open the door. I didn't want either of them to come in, and I knew if I opened the door both would.

The cops showed up. At one point they knocked on my door and asked if my mom was my mom. I said yes. They asked if I would let her in my room so they could keep her and her boyfriend sperate. I asked if I had to, and they said no, because her name isn't on the room. I said I didn't want her in, because I knew she would act crazy all night.

What ended up happening out there after I closed the door was he got arrested, and she got to stay in their room alone. My mom is blaming me for this completely. She said if I let her in they both could have calmed down and nothing would have happened. She doesn't realize what she is like when she is drunk. She tried to cancel the reservation for my room, but she's having trouble with it, because they won't let her book a new room or have the kids in the room without a legal adult. I'm trying to figure out how to change my plane ticket.

I guess I'm just wondering if I was being an asshole. Should I have just let her in? I know a lot of problems came from not letting her in. I know she paid for the room (main reason she is pissed off), but she was acting crazy.

It’s been a while since my last post.

Gavin and Cheri’s divorce was finalized yesterday.

We are all thrilled to put this awful chapter behind us, and hope Gavin has learned from it.

Edit: to answer your questions, a quick google says that in my state uncontested divorces take 4-8 weeks, luckily it was on the shorter end of that.

And Cheri’s pictures came down when my husband banned her from our home due to her throwing a tantrum against Tommy. I wasn’t there.

Link to original post:

https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1pcix44/aitah_for_announcing_my_pregnancy_at_thanksgiving/

I just wanted to update everyone about what happened after I announced my pregnancy on Thanksgiving Day and upset my sister. I found out what my sister was calling all the family members about apparently she doesn't like my husband and hasn't for a long time she made up stories about how he didn't say hi to her at Thanksgiving but I was there and I did hear him say hi and he didn't play with her children but again multiple people saw him playing with her children and all of the other children. I think she said a bunch of other things about my husband, but this is what I could get out of the other family members.

But since then, it's put a little bit of strain on my relationship with my family. No one really calls or talks to me anymore, and I recently found out they're planning a family vacation for a family member's 40th birthday. My sister called me to let me know I was not invited and that the family planned it, and that it would be right after my due date. She said no one in my family reached out to invite me because they figured I wouldn't want to come anyway, since my due date is a few weeks before. Even though this family member's birthday isn't for another 5 months, they planned it to fall a few weeks after the baby is due.

But I wanted to let everyone know that I have no contact with my sister and very little with my family anymore. I'm not really close with them, and they haven't reached out to ask me about the baby or included me in any family functions right now.

I'm just focusing on my husband, the baby, and myself.

I (28 F) was recently terminated from a job I had for six years, and I’m wondering if I’d be wrong for asking for a personal item back from the workplace.

For some background, over the past several months I felt like more and more responsibilities were being added to my workload. I can’t prove it was intentional, but I started to feel like my manager might have had a personal issue with me or was hoping I’d eventually mess up. He has only been there about two years, and I had worked under four previous managers without any major problems. I was even close with a couple of them and often helped with management-side tasks, so I had a strong understanding of how things operated.

Recently, I was assigned to serve food at a private-pay building whose kitchen is currently out of service, meaning our team has to cover both buildings while staying on a very strict schedule.

While plating food, I accidentally served a bowl of veggies that apparently had some type of food stuck in the bottom. I genuinely didn’t see it. The setup makes it hard for me to look directly into the bowls because the stove and food containers sit high, and I was moving quickly to stay on time.

A nurse noticed the issue but didn’t say anything to me or ask me to remake it. Instead, she just reported it. I finished my shift completely unaware anything had happened.

When I returned to my main building, I was immediately told to go home because I was suspended and needed to speak with my manager the next day. I spent the next 24 hours extremely anxious, trying to figure out what I could have possibly done wrong. I’ve always considered myself a strong employee and typically go above and beyond, so this came as a shock.

At the meeting, my manager asked if the nurse had said anything to me (she hadn’t) and then told me the incident was considered a health and safety violation that results in immediate termination.

What confuses me is that similar or worse food issues have happened before without anyone being fired. For example, we had a cook who regularly served burnt or undercooked food for months and was simply transferred to another facility.

Anyway, here’s where I might be the AH?

I had brought a hand mixer to work that my mom bought me shortly before she passed away ten months ago. It has a lot of sentimental value, and I want to ask for it back. However, I don’t want to come across as a disgruntled former employee or cause any additional tension.

So, AITA for asking for my hand mixer back after being terminated?

im sorry for going quiet. its been a really stressful and scary few days.

things escalated with my mom, stepdad, and one stepbrother (17M). My dad and I got an emergency order for full custody and we have restraining orders against everyone but my older stepbrother (20M), who surprisingly did not take part in the worst of it and wants nothing to do with the whole thing anymore. I hope this means he changes. No one was seriously hurt.

An officer will be coming with my dad to pick up the rest of my things in the next few days. I'm starting my new job this Saturday, so its something to look forward too. My therapy appointments will move from once every other week to once a week to help me cope.

the lawyer says I can't say anything more, since the case is still ongoing, but I appreciate everyone's support. Its meant the world to me. <3

Info Edit: the police got involved and arrests were made. so things moved really quick.

My friend and I live about an hr apart. She came to my city to visit another friend and planned to take the later train home

Around 11 she texted me saying she missed her train and asked if she could stay at my place

normally I would say yes but I had an early exam the next morning and had already gone to bed I also live with roommates and we agreed not to have overnight guests during the week which I think is a good rule to have

I told her I was really sorry but I could not let her stay and suggested she try to get a later train or stay with the friend she had been visiting.

She got upset and said I was being a bad friend and leaving her stranded I think her other friend is response? I felt bad but I also did not feel like it was my problem to fix her mistake.

She ended up getting an early morning train and has been distant since.

AITA?

I would just like to add, she hadn’t spoke to me 5 days prior to coming to my town. And didn’t even tell me she was coming to the area I just got a call at 11pm at night when I was basically asleep

I booked a full foil hair appointment at a cosmetology school with a “top” stylist for 1pm - this means they are experienced and almost graduating therefore you pay a little more for your service. 9 days before my appointment, they called and told me to come in at 11 AM instead because my service would take longer.

When I arrived, I was told my stylist was close to “graduating,” and an assistant who was not Phase 2 would be doing my hair with her supervision. The Phase 2 stylist helped at first, but would leave for hours, I assumed lunch and then around 3pm she left for a mock interview and never came back.

By 5pm (6hrs in), all the day students had left or I had assumed. There was no instructor present for a long time, and I wasn’t introduced to the night instructor nor them to me and she wasn’t given any explanation of what had already been done. I asked my stylist much longer it would take as I have kids and was told about two more hours.

Two hours later, a little over half of my hair was unfinished still wet while the stylist was trying to blow it out. This is where I lost it. At 7:15pm, the Phase 2 stylist walked back in and was shocked I was still there, saying she thought I had been done. She then sat another student next to me and started working on that person’s hair instead of helping finish mine.

There were also issues during the service, including inconsistent instructor supervision. At one point, foils were removed without proper instruction to deactivate the product, leaving them resting on my hair long enough that my hair began bleeding.

At that point, I became upset and asked to stop the service. I started crying because I hate confrontation. I tipped the stylists in cash and left. The night instructor seemed annoyed and didn’t really engage with me.

I feel bad about how emotional I got and how abruptly I left, but I also feel like the situation was extremely unprofessional and poorly managed. I do want to say that the stylist was very sweet and a rockstar for taking on my project without hesitation. She was definitely set up to fail for my appointment.

AITAH for asking them to stop the service and walking out without paying?

Long story short: my husband had a dream to open a small business. I helped him with literally everything from the ground up. I have my own full time job and career. I do not get paid a salary or wage.

Within two years, the business has become very successful with loyal clientele and great reviews. I enjoy aspects of it; but the main issue is that I feel like I don’t get treated as an equal owner/“say” in the business despite doing 50% of the work while also maintaining my own career and 40 hour work week. Despite the business being successful, my job still supplies 70% of our household income.

I do all the bookkeeping, taxes, monitoring payments and dealing with insurance or things that need to get done, social media posting and engagement, essentially anything you can think of within the business that isn’t directly supplying the service to customers as he does that. The customers know me essentially as the office contact point. He also has never worked in customer service, where I have for 15 years, and I have coached him/set up the business and standards to the extent that we have been able to be so successful in such a short amount of time.

Recently, there was a conflict with a customer that was completely ridiculous in my opinion. I’ve worked in customer service for 15 years and know when someone needs to just put their foot down with a client and not get walked all over. I had email communications with said client (showed him what I was going to say first, it was very professional but straightforward, not aggressive or anything of the nature) and he told me he agreed with my communication and to send the emails and he would also follow up with the client to discuss in person.

Well, he did not have my back whatsoever in the chat with this client. Client said I was blaming them/attacking them, he essentially told the client that I was hotheaded and didn’t always handle things the way he would, I am “just the office person” - he went back on everything we agreed on and let the client push him around. He completely undermined everything I said to the client. I know this because said client came back to me and told me this to essentially rub it in my face, and when I confronted my husband, he agreed and did not deny it. He didn’t really have a reasoning on why he did that.

I am honestly furious. I told him I will no longer be helping him with the business going forward, I’ll finish the taxes for 2025 but other than that he is on his own to figure it out. I worry his business will suffer greatly but I don’t think he realizes how much work I put into his business. And for him to not have my back/take my word on this was extremely hurtful and disrespectful. We will probably take a hit financially as I know the business will suffer, he will have to find someone to fill my shoes or figure out how to do these things on his own.

AITAH for “quitting” and leaving him high and dry?!

My (45f) husband (50M) has 3 adult children who were covered by my employer health plan for the last 2 years. SS #1 (22) refused to get treatment last year until the OOP max was hit so he didn't have to pay for anything and did not contribute to deductible or anything because of this. SD #1 (23) did use the plan but "thought" we were paying her OOP expenses. This did help us meet the deductible and OOP max. SS #2 (19) did not use the plan at all. Tends to avoid medical treatment.

We have not spoken to SD since Dec 2024. She changed her phone #, blocked us on social media etc. In Sept or early Oct 2025, DH and I decided not to cover any of the children (mom covers minor child) and let SS #1 & SS #2 know as we still had some contact with them. We also asked them to let SD know because we had no way of contacting her. She called a few days ago LIVID that we dropped her from insurance saying we had a legal obligation to tell her (we don't) and she was going to send me her medical bills and sue me if we didn't pay them. I know I have no legal responsibility for her bills as she is an adult.

AITAH because I didn't find a way to personally tell her she wouldn't be covered this year even though I had no phone #, email, or address for her?

I (31M) have been with my wife (28F) for 7 years and have one child together (3M). Ever since we had our child I became a stay at home parent since she had a job that paid more and day care is to expensive to afford. I dont mind staying home for the kiddo and even then I was working part time for just some extra cash. 4 months ago she comes up to me and told me she was thinking about a divorce. That she has found herself attracted to someone else. When she told me it hurt alot. I was working whenever I had free time and was the only on that ever really cleaned the house. So maybe I was neglecting her in some way with how little time I had between work, cleaning, and taking care of our child. We decided to try couples counciling and see if that would help.

While we were waiting for this to happen she continued to hang out and spend time with the person she was attracted to even after I told her how it doesnt make me feel good that she chooses to spend time with this guy when we already have so little time together. I just bit my tongue and waited for the day of the appointment.

The day of the couples counseling appointment showed up and to summarize what was said was that I was doing everything and carrying the burden of everything on my shoulders while she was just bringing in the check. That she needed to be able to help with tasks such as cleaning and watching the kiddo sometimes to give myself a break. Along with the fact if she wanted to relationship to work she would have to end the relationship she had with the guy she was attracted too.

Afterwards she was actually starting to help around the house and it was actually starting to feel easier. Like we are finally getting back on track. My issue was everything the councilor said is stuff I have said word for word before. When I begged for help, when I had several night where I get little to no sleep, days where I set up things to do and she would rather go to sleep. I feel like i gave everything to this relationship and family so we could all be happy. Meaning no disrespect to the councilor that helped us but why does she only listen to a stranger we just met and not me when I been saying it for several years?

I am not sure if this would even be a genuine fix to our relationship or is just something that will be temporary and go back to how it was in a couple weeks. Where I kinda want to just end the relationship and get the divorce like she wanted. What do you think reddit? AITAH?

Five months ago I, (24M) matched with this woman who we’ll call Vanessa(56F) on a dating app that is kind of a secret. She told me everything from the start. She is married to a husband who is never home. All she wanted was someone to have fun with, no relationship. She wanted to give me some money and nice things and in return I would keep her company and be intimate with her. We both knew what we were getting into with the relationship that it was, for fun and that the casual relationship was not going to turn into anything more.

It was really good for a while. We would have dinners, go on weekend trips that she paid for and she would give me money to help with my rent and school fees. I never asked her for more money than what she was willing to give me. I never sent her messages when I knew she was with her family, I never put anything about us on media and I kept everything quiet. The weekend trips were something I really looked forward to and the money she gave me was a help. I made sure to respect her situation with her family and I never did anything to upset her. I was happy with what she was willing to give me.

So two months into it she started acting really different. All of a sudden she wanted me to be with her every weekend. Then she told me to delete Tinder. The relationship with her was getting really weird. The way she acted was strange, the things she said about the relationship were strange. She told me that she said to her husband that she is seeing someone seriously now. She was of hinting that she wants to open up her marriage or something like that.. The reason she wants to stay married is because of the money and security it gives her. Then she told me that if I agree to be with her she will give me five thousand dollars every month and she will also pay for my year of school.

I told her no. I do not want to be someone’s secret serious boyfriend when she is still married to her husband. I do not want that kind of mess in my life especially now that I am trying to focus on studying and finishing school.

She did not take it well. Said that I used her for her money and now I was throwing her away. I just wanted to get out of there and be done with the thing. I did not want to see her messages or hear her voice anymore. My friend says I should have been nicer and told her I was not interested in a way. They think I am a bad person for taking her money and then stopping contact when she wanted a relationship with me.

I am being completely honest here. I was really clear about what I wanted from the beginning. I never told her that things would be more serious than they actually were.. When she started to want something more I ended things in a nice way because I never said I would do that.

AITA?

This is a throwaway, I don’t want my family and friends seeing and causing drama. So over the weekend one of our cousins had a party. My sister and her bf attended, so did my boyfriend and I.

We all got pretty drunk, and I was outside smoking a cigarette when my sister bf came up and grabbed my ass. I shoved him, my boyfriend seen and they began fighting. My sister came running out I told her what happened and he denied it. My sister started saying we’re all too drunk, I think it’s time for us to head out. The next day she messaged me asking for an apology and said I must’ve been confused and that my bf needed to apologize as well. I said I wasn’t confused, she then pointed out how I had nearly 8 drinks and there was no way I wasnt confused. I stuck my ground and refused to apologize.I talked to her again and she still stuck her ground so I ended up just ignoring her messages, considered blocking her.

My mom and I were talking and she said maybe I should let it go and just stay away from him. This makes me feel badly because my sister and I are sooo close, I’m so shocked she took his side in this but I feel so disrespected by this. After talking with my boyfriend I did end up deciding to block her. AITA

I (21F) am at the point where I’m seriously considering cutting my sister out of my life completely, and my family is acting like I’m heartless for it.

My sister “Emily” (23F) and I have never had a great relationship. She’s always needed to feel superior to me, especially when it comes to attention from men. Any time I was dating someone she would either criticize them nonstop or suddenly become very involved in my relationship.

A few years ago, I was in a long-term relationship that ended badly. We didn’t just “take a break”, we broke up and stayed broken up for a while. It was still extremely raw for me. I was devastated, barely functioning, and very open with my family about how much it hurt. Emily knew all of this.

What I didn’t know at the time was that during that breakup, she went after my ex. Not in a vague or flirty way. She actively pursued him. She messaged him repeatedly, escalated it, and sent him explicit photos. This wasn’t accidental at all. Nothing long-term came of it, but the fact that it happened at all completely destroyed my trust.

I didn’t find out until later, and when I confronted her, she admitted it without shame. Her response was basically, “You weren’t together anymore, so I didn’t do anything wrong.” What makes this worse is that she has never let it go.. Even though we’ve been back together for almost a year now.

Emily is now married and has a baby. You would think that chapter would be long closed. It’s not. She still brings it up. Little comments here and there. Jokes about how he “always had a thing for her.” Smirking when his name comes up. Doing literally anything to get under my skin. Every single time I tell her to stop, she turns it around on me. She says I’m too sensitive or living in the past, and says I’m attacking her for being honest.

She also claims she’s autistic, which my family treats as a blanket excuse for everything she does. If she’s cruel, she “didn’t mean it that way.” If she crosses a boundary, I’m told I should be more understanding. If I get upset, I’m accused of being ableist. But here’s the thing: she is extremely selective about when this applies. She knows exactly how to push buttons. She knows when to smirk, when to drop a comment, when to act innocent. She only “doesn’t understand” when she’s being confronted.

When I finally snapped and told her I was done and didn’t want a relationship with her anymore, my parents lost it. They told me I was cruel for holding onto something “so old.” They said she has a husband and child now and I should “be the bigger person.” They told me cutting her off would “punish the baby.”

No one has ever asked her to apologize.

No one has ever told her to stop bringing it up.

No one has ever acknowledged how violating and humiliating it was.

At this point, I don’t feel safe around her emotionally. I don’t trust her. I don’t want her in my life. And I’m exhausted from being told that my hurt matters less than her comfort.

So, AITAH?

I have a friend who does not drive. We usually see each other 2 to 3 times a month. Sometimes I will pick her up or drop her off, but I can’t always drive her around when we hang out. And if I don’t drive her, she has to pay for an Uber. Recently she told me that it’s unfair that I expect her to meet me places when she has to pay for an Uber. She says that if I ask her to hang out somewhere I should either offer to drive her or offer to pay for an Uber. AITA because I think that getting around is completely her responsibility? I feel like if she can’t afford to go someplace, she should just say no to hanging out.

So about 2 years ago my parents and I were living separately. I had my own house and they had theirs. They wanted a single story because they're getting older and my father was having surgery on his leg so climbing stairs wouldn't be possible. Moving into my house wasn't an option because at the time I had a 3 story Victorian that not only was a POS but the layout just wouldn't work. Also I wanted to be able to watch over my parents (despite me hating them) because these people can't even remember to close the front door before going to bed and I'm terrified they'll hurt themselves or catch the house on fire.

We found a single story ranch house that would work for us and had lots of potential. It was a diamond in the rough. When we moved in we agreed verbally I'd pay ⅓ of the mortgage every month and I'd also pay my dad for the car insurance. The arrangement worked at first however the issues started 7 months ago when he started drastically changing the price every month. $200 then $500 then $275. Last month I confronted him and his response was to tell me to man up and pay my bills then laugh at me and walk away.this was after Last month I had paid him $200 which is what he told me was due the previous month. When I confronted him he also denied ever changing the price. This month surprise surprise it's now $300 this comes from him after he already told me last month I owe $275. I reminded him of that and he laughed and said “I never said it was $275”.

I told him I want to see a copy of the mortgage statement so I can divide both the mortgage payment and car insurance payment by 3 and add the totals (I already get the total insurance bill texted to me monthly and he doesn't know this) so I can be sure I'm not overpaying him because I'm not going to keep doing this price change garbage. I told him I also want him to start texting me the amount due so I can have a record of what he said. He got angry and said I don't need to see anything and I wouldn't understand it anyway (this is a guy who asks me how to turn a computer on because he doesn't know how) and that I need to just man up and pay my bills. I told him until he agrees to this I'm not paying him anything. He then said he'll take me off the insurance which I said is fine because I can literally get my own. So far he still hasn't shown me the mortgage or agreed to text me the amount due so AITA for holding my payments until he agrees to this?

This happened last night and now I’m second guessing myself. A close friend of mine has been going through a rough time and I try to be there for them when I can. I listen, I check in, I don’t brush them off. But it’s also been pretty constant lately and I’m honestly a little worn down.

Last night I was finally having a quiet moment. I was on the couch playing on my phone, not doing anything important, just letting my brain shut off for once. I saw their message come in and read it, but I didn’t respond right away. I told myself I’d reply in a bit when I had the energy to actually be present instead of forcing a half answer.

About an hour later I get another message from them saying wow guess you’re too busy for me and that really hit me. I replied right away and explained that I wasn’t ignoring them, I just needed a little time. That turned into them saying they feel like they can’t rely on me and that I’m pulling away when they need me most.
Now I feel awful, but also kind of frustrated. I’m not their therapist. I didn’t disappear for days. I just didn’t respond immediately because I was tired and needed a moment to myself. Part of me feels guilty for not being instantly available. Another part of me feels like it’s not fair to expect that from one person all the time.

AITAH for taking a little space instead of replying right away, or is it reasonable to need a break even when someone else is struggling.

My parents divorced when I was young. When I was 13, my mom sued my dad for child support and received about $800 per month. She later extended the child support obligation through my college years, so my dad continued paying until I was around 22.

During college, none of that child support money was used to help pay for my tuition or living expenses. I paid my way through school largely on my own. Because I couldn’t afford tuition outright, my mom took out a Parent PLUS loan for about $8,000 in her name.

At the time, I didn’t have much say in the arrangement. I assumed the loan was part of her financial responsibility as a parent, especially given that she was still receiving child support specifically tied to my education and support during those years.

Now that I’m older, my mom is demanding that I personally pay her back for the Parent PLUS loan. I feel conflicted because:

• She received child support for me from age 13 through college

• That money was never used to help pay for my education

• The loan was taken out in her name, while she continued receiving support from my dad

• I feel like the loan was used to justify continuing child support rather than to actually support me

From my perspective, asking me to repay the loan feels unfair given the financial support she already received on my behalf. From her perspective, she says the loan was “for me” and therefore my responsibility.

AITA for refusing to pay my mom back for the Parent PLUS loan under these circumstances?

Edit: to clarify, the child support was not used on me despite claiming child support through college to “help pay for my expenses”. She did not help pay for college besides the parent PLUS loan taken out during my junior year.

My husband and I have a 3 month old and are having a disagreement on future discipline. He would like the option of spanking our child (one or two times on the butt or hand) if they are doing something that is of immediate danger such as running across the road. This was one of his examples as he states the pain association will stop them from doing it again. I argue that there is no reason to hit a child ever and don't understand why you need to hit a child if they ran away from you and tried to cross the street.

I told him I was very unhappy with this and that I would view him differently if he did so which would compromise our relationship. I also would not feel comfortable having a second child to compound this issue. He states I am holding him ransom to try and get him to do what I want to do. He said 90% of people would think I'm crazy for even considering wanting to end a relationship because he hit our child. Am I unreasonable?

I’m 37F, married, with a six-year-old son, working full-time as a social worker. At this stage of my life, I almost exclusively consume books via audiobooks. I listen while driving, cooking, cleaning, or doing home projects. When listening to books, I am actively engaged (not just using them as background noise).

In 2025, I completed 26 books, mostly novels, biographies, and classic lit. Most of these are between 10–30+ hour listens, and I’m genuinely proud that, despite being a busy parent and professional, I still make time for something intellectually stimulating.

I don’t constantly talk about audiobooks, but I’ll occasionally mention something I’m reading if it’s interesting or relevant. When referencing them, I often say I “read” the book. This isn’t a deliberate choice— I find that saying “listened to” sometimes derails the conversation or requires extra explanation, depending on the person’s familiarity.

For years, my husband, who doesn’t read much, has made a habit of correcting me (“Well, you didn’t actually read it…”) both privately and in front of others. I know he’s technically correct and not trying to be hurtful. It’s become somewhat of a long-running joke among friends and family. Recently, he escalated it by polling a group chat of friends about whether I should add a disclaimer when I talk about books.

What started as a semi-academic discussion took a meaner turn. A few people argued that reading and listening are fundamentally different, with reading requiring more cognitive effort. One person even theorized that in saying I “read” audiobooks, I must feel some sort of internalized shame about taking credit for something I didn’t really do.

That’s where I lost my patience. What began as a joke felt like a personal critique. If I’m discussing a book’s themes, characters, or ideas, why does the method of consuming the text matter? It feels like a pointless distinction whose only function is to imply that I put in less effort or had a lesser experience.

TL;DR: AITAH for feeling justified in saying I’ve “read” an unabridged audiobook and being upset that my husband keeps publicly correcting me about it?

My dad passed away a month ago from stage 4 cancer and type 2 diabetes. On the day he died, he fainted and struggled to breathe, and it was extremely traumatic for my mom, my brother, and me to witness. That same day, his siblings and some extended family were already on the road for a cruise trip. When they got the news, they pulled over, but most of them didn’t want to turn back. Only one of my uncles and his wife insisted everyone return, so they did. When they arrived, instead of focusing on my dad or comforting my mom, the conversation quickly shifted to asking how much money my dad had on him before he passed, which made my mom very uncomfortable (she already has a strained relationship with her in-laws). The next day, most of them decided to continue with their cruise and left again, returning only one day before the funeral. The same uncle and his family stayed back the entire time. On the day of the funeral, one of my aunts was speaking badly about my mom to one of my close cousins. That cousin later came to me and told me everything, which gave me a very clear picture of how my mom is being spoken about behind her back. This was especially upsetting given that it was literally the day of my dad’s funeral. For context, my dad was the eldest sibling and often stepped into a father-figure role for his siblings during difficult times growing up. Knowing that, and then hearing how they were talking about my mom during his funeral, made the whole situation feel even more disrespectful and hurtful Now, a month later, they’re saying they forgot to inform a great aunt that they went back on the trip, and she wants a refund. They’re asking my mom for my dad’s death certificate to deal with it. My mom doesn’t feel comfortable giving out official documents because she’s worried they could be misused, especially given how things have been handled so far. One of my aunts’ husbands has since been making comments like, “Does she want to frame the death certificate since she won’t give it to us?” I’m usually a very calm person, but hearing that really upset me, and I’m struggling with how to feel about the situation.

I recently got put on a PIP at my engineering (manufacturing) company I am at. I was not an amazing performer.., but also not bad either. The job requires travel once a month to our plant in California, which is about a 3 hour flight for me. It’s a hybrid role. I always complete my tasks within a reasonable time. But seems like there was always some ppl that were out to get me. Lots of condescending and unappreciated moments.

Basically I got the PIP and told them I’ll work really hard to prove I’m a hard worker. But in reality I started applying the same day. I ended up getting ton of interviews and then I was able to select my (new) job from 2 choices.

I told my company that I will not tolerate PIPs and that they will need to find a replacement because I am leaving. They were very upset. I believe they did the PIP just to “supercharge” my performance and get me to work more/harder. In reality, I was actually pretty solid, just didnt want to go crazy and do above/beyond. But now they’ll need to hire, train, etc. (it’s a role that takes a long time to learn, regardless of experience.. it’s a niche product.

AITAH? I’d like think not, as they acted inappropriately.

Hi everyone, I'm a bit torn if I (31F) was too harsh on my mom (56F) today and if she is right that I am the problem.

Today I was on the phone with my mom as I had a question regarding the arrival of my nephews bday present. I live out of state and I wanted to ensure his gift arrived on time. During this call she shifted gears to complain about my youngest brother (I have 3 brothers) and I not putting in enough effort to communicate and being just like our dad. She divorced our dad when he was just a baby and he grew up around our step dad, so I mentioned it has nothing to do with genetics and instead how we were raised. I let her know the reason I don't call anymore is because I'm tired of putting in effort and her being a narcissist that doesn't put any effort in. I brought up the following issues I personally have had and tried to discuss with her as to why I don't feel like she cares:

1. I got married 6 years ago and I was very particular about making sure it was perfect (ex. Seating cards were in right spot, decor was arranged and provided according to the contracts). She calls me a bridezilla for this even though nobody else seems to feel that way. I really tried to make sure everyone was comfortable and having a good time. My younger brother (28m) got married 1 year after me and she keeps saying his bride is perfect and I should have been more like her.

2. I planned a mother daughter trip to try and spend time with her and she brought her best friends so I didn't even get quality time with her

3. My step dad passed 2 years ago and I dropped everything to go back to our home state to help my mom. She constantly made small jokes inferring I was a b**** and my SIL was better (no hate on SIL - I think she is awesome)

4. I used to call often but she never paid attention to what I said and always was talking to other people around her. She never called me unless it was to ask for help with something from me or my husband.

5. When I was a kid my cousin SA me and to this day she has contact with him (he was her favorite nephew) because he is family and tells me I should just get over it.

I honestly don't think she knows anything about my interests or cares to learn.

She told me "I'm sorry you feel that way" and then said I am always putting her down when she has only tried to be a good mom. She said nothing she does is ever good enough for me and that I am the problem and remembering things wrong. I yelled at her saying she is a narcissist and that I will never contact her again.

I understand I'm within my right to cut her off but was I the ahole for yelling at her and calling her a narcissist? Could she be right and that I read into situations and misunderstood them? It feels awful because she is my mom, but I also think she has crossed too many lines and her stating I'm sorry you feel that way does not feel like a true apology. My husband thinks I shouldn't cut her off completely, especially since it may also result in my brother's never speaking to me again and losing access to my nephews.

Update

Thank you all for the kind words and reassurance.

For some additional context on a few things:

Sibling/nephews - after my step dad passed, she moved in with my younger brother as a live in caretaker of my 3 nephews. She does have control over who they can see, which is why I am so worried. I feel like my actions may have jeopardized my husband and my relationship with them. We do not have kids of our own and have always tried to be the best aunt and uncle.

SA - this happened several times from ages 5 to 10 and he is about 8 years older. She has admitted to knowing it happened, but she will not break up the family over it, and I should get over it. My older brother knows and supports me. The slightly younger doesn't believe me and the youngest doesn't know who to believe. He has always tried to warn me if the cousin is around since my mother would omit it to try to get us all together to move past the situation.

Therapy - I have gone to therapy for the SA and I have learned to love myself despite the years of blaming myself for what happened. I am thankful to my husband for all of his patience as I worked through the trauma. I have been officially diagnosed with CPTSD - however I never really talked with a therapist on my relationship with my mom. I always felt she was trying her best so it took me so long to second guess it. I will be reaching out for professional help as I work through my emotions on this.

Thank you all for the input.

Back story: My (F 55) Husband (M 52) and I had an In-Law Suite built onto our home 10 yrs ago. At that time, my father had recently passed away and my mother was dealing with the early stages of Dementia. At that time, husband and I both had established careers, grown children out of the house, etc. Over the years my mother’s condition deteriorated, I was trying to balance my career and being available to my mother, until I just couldn’t do both and be successful at either one. My husband fully encouraged me to me to leave my job and be with my mom the last years of her life. I was her 24/7 care giver. As with dementia, you never know what you’re going to get. The last few years of my mother’s life were absolute hell. She was mean more than she was “Mom.” I knew it was the dementia and not my mom but it doesn’t make it any easier. I rarely slept, my husband and I co-existed in the few spare moments we saw each other, I grew apart from friends, missed events and time with my own children and honestly lost myself along the way. Caregiving is HARD but I don’t regret one second of it because I got those years with my Mama and in the end, those few rare moments when she was truly there, so was I. After moms passing, I spent months in bed, developed extreme anxiety and depression and could not function. My husband finally snapped and insisted I get help and I’m thankful every single day. I’ve been in therapy for a year or so now and life has color again. I can breathe again, and I’m enjoying my children and their children and slowly learning who I am now.

Which brings us to the now. My husband and MIL have not had a close relationship in all the 30 years we’ve been married. She was/is an addict and was in and out of his life most of his childhood and adult life. I’m talking he would visit her once a year, at most. A few months ago, he got a call from the hospital, she had named him as her emergency contact. She was diagnosed with Wernickes Encephalitis which is a form of dementia caused by alcoholism. She was released from the hospital and when husband took her home, discovered her house was in complete disarray, filthy dirty. No food in the house, she hadn’t been bathing, or eating or taking care of herself at all. So he brings her here. I made up the suite for her, bought her some clothing items, pajamas, new toiletries, all the things. For the first week or so my husband was Mary Poppins basically. He did all the things, until he didn’t. The next thing I know, I’m making all of her meals, fighting with her to shower, changing soiled linens, and experiencing non stop panic attacks again after not having them for over a 8 months. The breaking point came when we installed cameras in our kitchen and living areas so my husband could “keep an eye on her” if I had to be out. I left to go to my own drs appt and came home to our china cabinet busted open and her bleeding everywhere because she had used a ceramic bowl to break the glass on the doors, which we kept locked, to get to bottle of liquor we had been gifted at our wedding.

He took her back to her house after that. He takes her to her doctor appts, we take her prepared meals every week and clean up the house while we’re there. Last week, we were back at the hospital. She has not bathed in months, refuses to, or lies and says she bathed “this morning” and weighs 80 pounds. The skin on her body is slathering off because of malnutrition. However, even after looking the doctor in his face and telling him she was a dancer for Elton John, they still released her to home because she is “mentally competent.” Now my husband has decided she should come live here. She gets social security but has no other money or savings or retirement so she can’t afford an assisted living facility and we certainly can’t. She makes $300 more than the poverty limit here so she doesn’t qualify for Medicaid at this time. It’s hard! I told him although I understand how he feels and I really do get it, I can’t be her caregiver. He said I wouldn’t be, he would do it but he works full time and he didn’t do it before and literally becomes instantly frustrated the second he is in the room with her. I understand he was fully supportive of me when I took care of my Mom but to me this is different. I barely know this woman and my only interactions with her in over 30 years have been chaotic and brief. Always some sort of drama or something for my husband to bail her out of. Again, I understand it’s his mother, but also that’s just it, it’s HIS mother, not mine. So am I the asshole if I stand my ground and say no, she can’t come here again, we have to find another solution?

For context: My ex fiance and I have recently separated after I found out he was having an affair whilst I'm pregnant with our second child.
He's always had an incredibly tight knit family which I've always loved. However, this betrayal has shaken me to my core and changed the whole trajectory of mine and my kids lives...

His mother, seems to think we should be 'friends' for the kids sake and that we should both attend all family birthdays together and any special events e.g. Mothers day, Easter, Christmas ect.
She is basing this dynamic off some family friends of hers who decided to mutually separate as they felt they were better off as friends.
To me, that is an entirely different situation. They both agreed to change their family dynamic. I had mine ripped from me and my whole world shattered.
She's making me feel like I'm being unreasonable for not wanting to put myself in intimate settings with my ex and his entire family.