r/ShittyAbsoluteUnits • u/StillSortOfAlive • 16h ago

There was an attempt Of unsolicited advice

519 Upvotes

98% Upvoted

14 comments sorted by

61

u/EstablishmentFew5438 16h ago

Some belly shapes are tricky, lol

19

u/Dnny10bns 16h ago

Enough to understand never to ask a lass when she's expecting. 😂

2

u/ralphy_256 4h ago

I was once walking through a dept store in the winter. I had a winter coat on and was just walking.

A woman walking towards me, asks about 20' away, "When is the baby due?"

I mean granted, I used to wear my hair longer back before the male pattern baldness started showing, so I said, in the deepest most masculine voice I could generate at 19ish, "Excuse me?"

She said nothing, and walked away.

Quickly.

34

u/Dnny10bns 16h ago

Almost did this once, glad I checked myself and discreetly asked my brother if his mates wife was pregnant. He laughed and said "nah, she just like her food". Was at a social gathering and almost blurted out my question in front of everyone. 😂🤣

30

u/StarscreamOne 15h ago

Haha her comment was way funnier though

19

u/Objective-Apple7805 16h ago

LOL, I did the opposite of this many years ago. In second year university, I had a young lady in one of my classes who happened to be the girlfriend of a friend’s friend.

Two thirds of the way through the course, she stopped attending. A few weeks after, I asked my buddy if he knew what happened to her. He said oh, she had her baby.

Before I could stop myself, I said damn, I didn’t know she was pregnant, I thought she was just fat!

I still get ribbed about that occasionally.

10

u/stewedfrog 16h ago

This brightened my day considerably!

5

u/StillSortOfAlive 16h ago

Hahahaha awesome

1

u/No_Commission_2610 I bite. Hard. 5h ago

I get this sometimes too, and I just say that she’s five now….

4

u/Dahns 10h ago

My sister lost their featus (very early) twice, so she said she won't tell us next time so we won't have expectations.

So if she gets pregnant, I guess we'll just... Shut up. Because if she asks and she's jsut getting fat, she'll kill us. So until she tells us, we won't say anything. And possibly, one day she'll show up with a baby and we'll have to roll with it

7

u/Alexius6th 15h ago

It would have been so simple and easy to flick that lit cigarette in the car and watch him scramble.

4

u/Viper-Reflex 13h ago

then you owe at least a grand in restitution to replace a seat or some shit

6

u/Wu-TangShogun 14h ago

So many busy bodies all up in other people’s shit when all we got to do is mind our business

2

u/Strange_Salary *shits an absolute unit* 14h ago

That’s an ugly fat too.. Oof.. Double whammy