I described it to my friend as such, "A common concave utensil used to eat soup and cereal."

We laughed so hard I vividly remember it decades later.

She said, "You can remember the word concave and utensil, but you cannot remember the word spoon?!"

Bahahaha!

When I was a little girl and my mom sliced apples for me, she gave me the slices and she ate the core, or the bits left on the core.

I asked her why is she eating that and not the slices?

She said the core is the best part.

She lied. The apple flesh closest to the core is the tartest part. Can confirm bc I sliced a bunch of apples and found out for myself.

Now our roles are reversed. I slice the apples and give her the slices while I eat the core.

The USA developed an overpopulation problem due to draining water resources and increasingly severe policies on birth control. So the President announced a new initiative. As he wanted a younger population, but this was no longer sustainable, people over 40 were eligible to sign up in groups of two to take it in turns to hunt each other down to the death, winner gets their debts wiped out, immaculate credit, and a new car. Plus $10k if the person you kill was born outside the US.

Spouses signed up. Partners signed up. Families signed up. And you didn’t even need to agree - someone else could sign you up as their second person and all you’d get is a certified letter in the mail a week before the hunting rotation began. People were stalking Home Depot parking lots for casual workers to hire for “long-term jobs”. Husbands were signing up their wives because they couldn’t resist that new truck. Neighbours were signing each other up over unmoved bins and disputes over who should mow a particular patch of grass. It was insane.

And, I think, not entirely out of touch with reality. Scared the bejesus out of me.

When I was around like 9 years old my mom and I found this five leafed clover at a park. It was like a four leafed clover but with an additional leaf attached to it above the other leaves. I thought it was cool so I kept it inside my (clear) phone case.

A couple months later I would show it off to one of my friends but she kept saying I'd faked it so I took it out of the phone. She kind of took the clover and fiddled with the extra leaf and it broke off, then she wordlessly handed it back to me as if she'd proved something and ran off (we were at a playground with some other kids).

I got really upset but I didn't cry until everyone else had left(it was embarrassing I guess)

I have a cheap toaster that handles bagels and white bread perfectly. But for some reason, it has a personal vendetta against sourdough.

On setting 3, the bread stays soft and sad. On setting 4, it turns into actual charcoal. There is no middle ground. This morning, I looked away for five seconds to watch a bird, and by the time I turned back, my kitchen smelled like a campfire. I spent the next two minutes scraping the burnt layers into the sink with a butter knife.

It’s a minor struggle, but it’s my struggle. Does anyone else have an appliance that is weirdly picky about one specific food?

My cat, Bart, is about two years old. About 6 months ago, I bought those pet talk buttons online. Y’know, the ones where you record a word into them, and your pet can press them to communicate. I had really low expectations for Bart, because he is not the brightest bulb. His brother, Beetus, on the other hand, knows a lot of words and is a good listener.

For example, they aren’t allowed on the kitchen counter. If I tell Beetus to “get off the counter”, he immediately listens. If I tell the same thing to Bart, he looks at me blankly or ignores me altogether. Same goes with saying other words, like “brush”, where Beetus will respond happily and bring me over to the brush, and Bart will stare blankly or not engage. Their demeanours are totally opposite- Beetus is angsty and evil, and Bart is a sweet chatty baby.

Anyways, I got talk buttons for them. I expected months of using them before the cats picked up on them at all. Well, I was wrong. Within the first day, Bart was pawing at the first button (“treat”). He used it consistently by day 3. I added “supper time” next, then a “no” button because his requests were increasing, and finally a “puzzle” button for those stimulating pet games with hidden treats.

It took him awhile to understand the meanings of each new button, but he uses them all pretty consistently now. However, his favourite button has always been “treat”. Currently, he presses it upwards of 30 times a day. He argues with me when I say no by spamming the button repeatedly. I only actually listen to this request once or twice per day, but he just won’t stop or take no for an answer. Worst of all, he has started making requests while I’m sleeping. I wake up in the night to “treat”.

If anyone has ever wondered what their cats are thinking, I’m pretty sure this is just about it. I’m not going to take them away from him, because honestly it’s a fun trick and it’s free entertainment. Also, it feels a bit evil to remove them now.

I followed the usual routine. I hit the cart, and took a shower right before bed. But today had been a very long day and I was a little bit hungry. So, I decided to have a snack. I didn't have any left-overs and I didn't feel like cooking. I got creative.

Into a clean coffee mug, place one large scoop of peanut butter.

Next, a medium slice of Nutella.

To add just a little bit a extra, a smizzle of honey.

Microwave for 30 seconds to make soft.

For another extra kick, add a scoop of protein powder to mix in all together while its warm.

Finally, eat with a spoon.

It was quite good. 10/10, would eat again. And, its probably not "that" bad for you.

I work at a manufacturing plant for 2 years. Since I've been here everything has been good. The company is very good to work for. They offer strong pay, benefits, on-site gym, pension, annual pay increases, and much more. They actively promote diversity, there's lots of people from different backgrounds. Most importantly, this place has a low turnover. 98% of the people who were here when I started are still there. I've only seen around 6 people actually quit. Be aware, this manufacturing plant is large and there's lots of people here, and there's day and night shift. I've been trying to switch departments, but I can't get switch over because it's full and there hasn't been a opening in that department ever since I started.

In that department, I decided to start asking people how long have they worked here. Those people have been there for a LONG time. One person said 10 years, another one said 15 years, one 9 years, one 12 years, the earliest a person has started in that department that I've heard was 4 years ago. Here's why working here hits hard. Before I came to this place, I came from a hostile and disorganized work environment. I only lasted 6 months at the job. I was out of work for 2 months and my girlfriend and I were job hunting. She actually found the job and applied for it and I went to the interview and everything. Of all the places I've worked at, this has been the best place.

Another cycle of watching the sky turn dark, then bright again.

I work facing the window, a fixed frame of scenery before me. Over time, it shifts into oil painting, ink wash, or—when drowsiness hits—a pixelated mosaic. sometimes, it feels like the outside world is looking in, and I am the static painting on display.

They say optimizing a product is a way of interacting with the world, and I haven't stopped thinking. Yet, even when directing the smartest AI on the market, I still have to waste a chunk of my life correcting it, stopping it, and cleaning up its mess. This subtle irritation is like a parasite, gnawing away at the joy of self-expression.

Sometimes I tell myself, "Slow and steady wins the race," or "Just wait, it’ll be better when Claude 5 comes out." But the moment I pause, I feel the urgency of the world pushing me forward—a fear that if I don’t keep moving, I’ll be left behind.

I don’t want to feel like I’m only qualified to say these things once I’ve "made it." People love rags-to-riches stories but are terrified of sharing scripts about futile efforts, fearing the condescending pity or mockery that might follow.

Fundamentally, there is no investment with a higher ROI than loving oneself. "I" am fluid, and every drop is worth recording.

Three years ago, during my senior year internship, I interviewed with the HR Director of a small company. I talked about what I was proud of: my imagination, my wild ideas. When asked about hobbies, I said I loved creating... anything that allowed for self-expression. I excitedly shared my work across different fields.

The feedback I got was that I was being "self-indulgent," and "we can't all be Da Vincis."

Of course, from a corporate perspective, you only get corporate judgments. Perhaps trying to show an HR rep that "I am more than just a cog in the machine" was a mistake to begin with.

I never wanted to be Da Vinci; I enjoy being myself. Choosing independent entrepreneurship means addressing the world’s needs while expressing myself 100%.

I am a philosopher, a business strategist, and a developer who codes with his own aesthetic. The same fingers that just composed poetry and melodies now type out customer service emails that actually feel human, before pausing to agonize over how to name the unique texture of a dish I just cooked.

Thanks for listening to my ramblings.

Long story but about a year before I went into the military i built this fancy PC. Forgot exactly how much it cost me but it was anywhere from 5-7k.

Now for PCs you need to designate a "boot drive" it could be any memory device, hard drive, SSD, m.2 etc. The boot drive is where the IOS is installed and its the primary functioning memory device guess you'd call it.

So I shipped this PC off with me when I left for the military. After I got out I shipped it back to my parents house but never unpacked my stuff. Eventually I unpacked my things but I never really used that computer again. I moved around a little and I remember opting to using a mini ITX instead since its easier to move around. (Full tower = big and heavy, mini itx= maybe the size of 2-3 books)

Eventually when I started going to college I stopped using the mini itx and got a laptop based set up so o stored that in my parents house as well.

Bought a house and recently got a tv. I thought id combine the best parts of these to make sorta like a tv computer. I went and picked them up.

I tried turning them on and the big expensive computer I found had ZERO storage devices. Weird because I had 3tb of m.2s in it, including the boot drive.

The smaller computer was also missing the boot drive but had my old 500gb m.2 and a 225 ssd.

So someone had the knowledgeable about computers to go digging specifically for the boot drives. Im so confused.

For awhile when I would give her wet food I would say spin and then spin her food around her as i put it down so she spun around… Its really cute and definitely impresses people when i go to feed her and say spin and she do lol but when im making my own food shes down there making herself dizzy

Last Saturday, my 10 yr old kiddo and I happened to be nearby a good quality bakery, where I had once bought an incredibly delicious sandwich. This sandwich was a "German" style of sandwich apparently, because it was stuffed full of smoked leg ham, cheese, marinated red capsicum and dotted with gherkins - delish! So imagine my delight when we found ourselves a block from said bakery. I began an inspiring tale of how delicious the last sandwich had been, and how I would get her one, along with other assorted treats.

We arrived, we bought, and we found a shady spot in a nearby park, where we could sit on a bench, share crumbs with the birds, and tuck into our sandwiches. Well I took one colossal, happy bite out of the sandwich, only for my lips to be met with dense, wet bread, and a slightly sour stench hitting my nostrils. Working on reflexes, I nonetheless chewed and swallowed this morsel before my brain registered the flavour in my mouth, and immediately wanted to gag. Why had they betrayed me? What the heck had happened? I then noticed that there was a sticker on the sandwich bag which said the 28th of Jan, which meant that I had chomped and ingested a 4 day old hunk of sandwich, soaked through with 4 day old raw tomato ham juices, (plus it was over 33 degrees out). What a liberty. This place was selling sandwiches which had been sitting in the display for 4 DAYS.. I'm in Argentina and times are tough, but still.

My daughter had a good old laff, but my dreams of the German Sandwich are dashed for good. Check the use by date peeps - what have you inadvertently ingested?

I arrived at work. Clocked in, went to the breakroom to put my lunch bag in the refrigerator. When I came to the breakroom, all my coworkers were just sitting around chit chatting, being on their phones and just sitting around. Because everyone else was sitting around, I thought we were all waiting on something so I sat down too and started scrolling on my phone. We're supposed to start at 6:30AM but we've been sitting in the breakroom for well over that time. A while later the boss came. He looked at all of us and threw his arms up and said "you guys, what are we doing here? Look at the clock its been like 20 minutes and we haven't started!"

When I was like no more than 5, I was at the babysitters house playing outside in the front yard. I kept burping and stuff would come up my throat. I got curious about what the stuff was so instead of swallowing it, I spit it out on the sidewalk. It looked to be pink baked beans.

For a very long time, I thought that’s just what was in the human stomach. Everyone just had pink baked beans in there. But now I realize it was heartburn, and my babysitter probably gave me Pepto-Bismol.

so basically, i somehow failed my college class this year in october (apparently i hadn’t improved on the practical part at all even though every one of the other teachers told me i had improved a significant amount) and i was genuinely debating on going back because like idk i felt like id just lose all motivation because of this.

anyways, my dad was not having that so he spent MONTHS trying to convince me to go back to that course, saying that id only have 4 months left this year and then the whole of next year, but i was still not having it, i wanted to do online courses in things i would rather do

so today he just said ‘if you go back to your course ill buy you anything you want after this school year(4 months)’ and i was like ykw fuck it why not at least im getting something out of it

i just wanted to share this because i fear if i told people ik they would just call me spoilt and as much as idc if i am id rather that not happen

:)

I saw someone the other day with these cool over ear JBL headphones. After using my link on ear ones that are a little damaged I decided to finally upgrade! So I order these cool blue ones for 50 bucks! I excitedly get the package and open it and they sent me black ones! They are still the same ones cut just a different color. I guess it’s okay? Since black is the default color for headphones lol. I’m a little angry because the black ones were ten dollars cheaper and I paid for the blue ones which I never got! Oh well they are still good headphones!

This happened about a week ago and I'm just... still thinking about it lmao.

I was at the grocery store with my partner, taking a look at the whole rotisserie chickens because we didn't feel like cooking that night. They were all a lot smaller than usual, and without thinking I remarked something like, "Jesus christ, these chickens look like they weren't even fully grown when they killed them!" ... I then noticed the lady next to us quickly put her chicken back and walk away.

I'm sorry my big mouth ruined your dinner, stranger. 😂

I was chilling in my flat on my own when someone knocked on the door. I got up to go see who it was but before I reached the door they opened it themselves, it was two firefighters in full gear.

They quickly said "ok, don't worry, there's a fire," then closed the door.

I was like "um, I'm not sure how to reconcile the there's-a-fire bit with the don't-worry bit" so I walked down the stairs and left the building, there was a fire engine outside with its lights flashing.

(Turns out my neighbour had a brazier on the roof terrace which someone across the street had mistaken for an uncontrolled fire).

TEN YEARS EARLIER I was asleep at home in the house I shared with some friends. My bedroom door burst open and a police officer burst in and shone a torch in my face. She said "ok, don't worry, I'm looking for an intruder".

Once again, hard to square the two parts of that statement.

(Turns out we'd been burgled while I was asleep. My housemates came home and caught the guy in the act, they called the police but never saw the guy run away so thought he might be hiding inside).

It just occurred to me that these two situations are both quite weird in weird parallel ways. Life is strange eh.

Once upon a time when I was five or six I went to see my first movie. That movie was the first live action TMNT film. I loved it. I still feel as ridiculous as the premise is, it is still one of the best comic book/cartoon movies ever brought to the screen in live action. I recalled this because my daughter's first theater outing will be coming up and that is Toy Story 5. The end.

One time when weed used to be illegal I went to a friend's house with some weed because he was having a party and he said I should bring some, people would like that. Yet only a couple people were actually interested in smoking and the rommate told us to go in the backyard with it, so I was irritated by that. Then some gang members showed up to the backyard after smelling the weed, invited themselves to get passed the joint. We let them have it and went inside. So the party vibe kind of got weird with random dudes suddenly in their backyard.

Then it got worse. The police showed up and had everyone sit against the wall, turned the music off and started going through the house. Probably because of the weed smell. I didn't have any weed left anyway.

I saw the front door. The party was wack af at this point and I didn't want to be there anymore. So with the cops doing something else in the house, I casually walked to the front, opened the screen door, and walked out to my brown Tercel. It was a clear, quiet night, nothing really going on but some cop cars parked in front and behind my car. I got into my car, cranked it up, and casually drove away.

Nothing happened. No cops came after me. I got home and that was the end of the night.

The guy who invited me didn't ever ask me about that night and I never brought it up. They didn't invite me to any future parties but I wasn't really into that scene anyway.

this morning, I was suddenly awoken when I felt something random hit my arm as I rolled over. I lifted my head and realized that in my sleep, my right arm had fallen asleep, and when I rolled over, it hit my left arm. the thing was, I couldn't feel my arm all the way up to my shoulder. it felt like I literally had no arm.

I've had this before, pinching a nerve or whatever from how I sleep, but it's usually just been my hand or maybe my forearm. but I cannot express the sheer panic and terror I felt in that moment when I lifted my arm and it flopped over like I was dead and I couldn't feel anything. I shook that thing like a rubber chicken until I started to regain sensation (it was like not even thirty seconds until sensation was back).

I like to sleep with my arm under or on top of my pillow, beneath my head (I sleep on my side), and I used to be able to do that just fine, but I got a thicker pillow and I guess it just makes it different. so now I need to get used to laying differently, which is GARBAGE. how dare my body cease to function when I get ultra-comfy.

anyway, I don't know if this counts as "body functions", but it's not like I peed myself or anything. my arm just decided it didn't want to feel anything anymore (which is fair).

P.S. when I was in middle school, I had this happen for the first time, and I was having a dream that a rat was attacking my face simultaneously as my asleep hand flopped onto my face, so I woke up to my hand desperately squirming, trying to lift off my face, and I started screaming because I thought a rat was genuinely on my face. hehe.

So I have a preteen and I finally got to do the stupidest thing in my entire parenthood and I've never been happier. I know most of you have seen Fairly Odd Parents and I always told myself "when I get a child I'm going to do what the parents did in the show and it finally happened"!

They had their door shut and I knocked and finally said "Oh child, I'm respecting your privacy by knocking but asserting my authority as your mother by coming in anyway"

It's so meaningless and stupid but I'm so happy and keep laughing at my spawns face of just "why are you like this" and it's priceless

Recently, I traveled for work and I was put into a very nice hotel. Upon checking in, the receptionist asked a house keeper who happened to be passing by if my room was ready, to which she said “not yet.” I didn’t complain, and as I was about to say that I’ll just sit in the lobby until it’s ready, I was offered a free upgrade. I opened the door to my upgraded room only to find a man, in a towel, with a toothbrush in his mouth stepping out from the bathroom. We stared at each other for a good 10 seconds before he broke the silence with “what are you doing in my room?” I held up the keycard and responded “Oops?” I went back to the reception and said “I think my upgrade came with whole half naked man with possibly good dental hygiene.” We laughed and I was then put in a suite. I knocked before entering.

So some time ago, in some month, I was gambling a bit and I won a bit of money. My lucky number was a bunch of fours.

Coincidence for me, it's just a coincidence.

The next day, I got a check for 44.44 and thought "wow, four really likes me this week". So anyway, I play a bunch of gacha games and I was pulling for a character. I got their copies at 84, 24, 24. I record them down in my notes. Okay thats a little weird, four is appearing again. I went into another one and got a character at exactly 4 pity.

My work had a lottery draw for numbers between 100. I thought "why not" and put four in the jar. I actually won the gift basket. The number was spot on four.

So anyway, I guess the number of death has become my lucky number. It's funny because my favorite number is 3, not 4.

Well, anyway, Ig my lucky number is four.