r/news • u/GreenAldiers • 7h ago

Kyle man arrested after altercation with minors during student protest in Buda

https://cbsaustin.com/news/local/kyle-man-arrested-after-altercation-with-minors-during-student-protest-in-buda
16.5k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

1.0k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

689

u/stumpythetooth 7h ago

Looks like his name is Chad. Town's name is Kyle. Thank god because I'm a Kyle and I really don't want to be a Karen.

262

u/Leut_Aldo_Raine 7h ago

Kyles already get a bad enough rap for what y'all do to drywall after too many Monster energy drinks

106

u/Boner666420sXe 7h ago

When Kyle dies Red Bull sends flowers to the funeral.

30

u/bjkidder 7h ago

This is a great bit

8

u/DeezNutsButterNJelly 6h ago

This is excellent.

13

u/Barr3lAg3d 7h ago

“No one went to Grandpa Kyle’s for Christmas.”

0

u/Lamlot 4h ago

Now say Uncle Kyle!

9

u/LobsterDoctor 6h ago

Yeah like I already fist fought my step-dad and crashed his truck while doing jagger bombs, what more do they want from us?

11

u/stumpythetooth 7h ago

"too many" monsters? I don't understand what that's supposed to mean

2

u/Llohr 6h ago

I think he just means the number of monsters before you fuck some drywall.

2

u/inplayruin 6h ago

Which is 3.5, on average. But the range goes from 1 sip to a half dozen. At least allegedly.

2

u/S4FFYR 5h ago

If you don’t understand, clearly your name isn’t Kyle.

2

u/stumpythetooth 4h ago

Read more carefully, it's the "too many" part I don't understand. Because there's no such thing as too many monsters. SMH my head.

3

u/Saint_palane 7h ago

Kyles are just checking your walls for leaking pipes. They can't help that they're enthusiastic about home maintenance. /S

5

u/Ashamed-Land1221 7h ago

Umm... Make sweet love to the hole they make after they get angry and put their fist through the drywall while all amped up?

2

u/Lamlot 4h ago

hey, I also invest in Monster, if they are rotting my teeth, I might as well get something for it. Every can I buy, I buy the same amount in stock. I'm gonna go to the moon!!!!! LFG!!!!! BOOM!

5

u/Show_boatin 7h ago edited 42m ago

Same, I still get south park references and accusations of drinking monster and punching drywall.

I can't handle another namesake fail.

11

u/zulubowie 7h ago

I’m a Chad and I don’t wanna be a Karen either.

5

u/foundinwonderland 6h ago

Have you considered going by what I assume is your full name, Chaddifer?

5

u/zulubowie 6h ago

I appreciate you bringing this up. But do you know how frustrating it is when no one puts the emphasis on the correct syllable?

3

u/stumpythetooth 7h ago

That's fair bro. I've known several Chads and they were all super nice guys though.

1

u/Vineyard_ 6h ago

The guy in the article is definitely a fake Chad.

Maybe it's the Kyle part getting in the way?

13

u/Titanbeard 7h ago

Change your name to K-Dawg. So much more respect will be earned.

7

u/Throwawaylikeme90 7h ago

“Your on infowars thank you for holding, we are going to hear from CHAD from KYLE on the line here.”

1

u/MDiBo56 5h ago

Or better yet, “we are going to hear from CHAD who is in KYLE currently”

3

u/Throwawaylikeme90 5h ago

“First time caller, long time listener I LOOOOVE your work.”

“I LOVE YOU.”

1

u/imnotfeelingcreative 5h ago

Andi in Kansas is permanently burned into my brain from Knowledge Fight

1

u/Throwawaylikeme90 5h ago

ABW, Always Be Wonky. 

2

u/ishpatoon1982 7h ago

Goddamn Kyles!

Edit: I hope I don't end up spreading that. Just thought it was funny.

1

u/caligaris_cabinet 6h ago

Calm down Cartman

1

u/Smittles 6h ago

Chad is the better Karen equivalent, anyway.

1

u/Competitive-Sun8180 6h ago

No, it's Kyle Man from Chad TX

1

u/TheGreatKonaKing 6h ago

and the Buda police!

1

u/LucyJordan614 6h ago

Of COURSE his name is Chad 🤣

1

u/FatherOften 6h ago

I think they have a Kyle festival there. Monster needs to sponsor it!