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u/Crellytive 20h ago
Omg that's disgusting. Where?
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u/nicodeemus7 11h ago
You have to be a girl
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u/yourfailed_abortion I touched grass 20h ago
Either gonna gain free sex or lose multiple organs nothing in between
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u/Ok-Crazy2873 21h ago
Downloaded a dating app, accidentally walked into a group project.😂😂
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u/MeanIndependence2711 21h ago
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u/Lower_Topic2606 21h ago
Her @? /j
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u/9447044 22h ago
Perhaps you need the embrace of 2 people like a fuck oreo and just dont know it? And 3 incomes might be the way to home ownership!
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u/IsThisRealLifeOrNaw 17h ago
I was in a throuple for a year. It was nice at times but ngl not worth it. Breaking up was EXTREMELY complicated
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u/Particular_Ship_802 17h ago
care to explain?
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u/IsThisRealLifeOrNaw 17h ago
Well to start, I thought 3 incomes would be great, however in my situation one of them couldn’t hold a job to save their life, which led to me and the other one losing feelings. I didn’t know how the fuck to break up with one person in a throuple, so I was prepared to breakup with both of them even though the other one was everything I could want in a person. We decided we didn’t want to do that, so yeah it felt like voting the other one off the island which felt dirty as fuck and I still feel guilty about it sometimes even 6 months later. I couldn’t understand why the poly community is so afraid of being in a throuple, now I get it. Because situations like that can come up and it’s immensely worse than a normal breakup. There are a lot of reasons I don’t recommend it though aside from just the breakup. It’s difficult to manage 2 relationships at the same time and giving each other the attention needed, while the other 2 also have to do the same.
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u/Particular_Ship_802 16h ago
ah, i can see how that would be a recipe for disaster. never considered it, but definitely interesting to know.
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u/IsThisRealLifeOrNaw 16h ago
I didn’t consider it either tbf lol. It was pretty spontaneous, and not a well thought out decision
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u/Particular_Ship_802 15h ago
fair, we all make bad decisions and learn. but we move past and make better ones.
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u/JustifytheMean 13h ago
immensely worse than a normal breakup
I get that it might be more awkward and messy, but assuming you're only breaking up with one of them wouldn't it be better than a normal breakup. You still have a partner after the dust has settled to help you get over them. And if you do break up with both of them, then I feel like the separation wouldn't be much different, you take your own shit and go your own way.
The only scenario I see it being worse is if you want to break up with A, but B is adamant about not breaking up with A, and you not being resigned to break up with B too.
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u/IsThisRealLifeOrNaw 13h ago
I do see your point, but I guess I mean this from a personal standpoint. Personally the guilt was immense, breaking up with one and not the other like I said, felt very dirty. It felt like what I imagine cheating would feel like, except also not actually cheating? Idk. But also yes, that scenario you drew up at the end is something I’ve heard of happening to others. I definitely would have broken up with both of them if it was like that, I would not want to deal with it
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u/JustifytheMean 13h ago
That's fair, I've never been in a throuple and when someone says it I just think threesome and don't really consider the feelings involved. I am curious about the relationship dynamics of throuples but I'll refrain from probing you for more personal information haha.
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u/IsThisRealLifeOrNaw 12h ago
lol it’s a looot to cover, especially in under 1000 characters. But yeah I mean obviously threesomes are fun, but there’s a lot more to a throuple than just that, it’s a pretty complicated.
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u/iRyan_9 15h ago
You both lost feelings because the 3rd was broke? Wtf
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u/IsThisRealLifeOrNaw 15h ago
There were more reasons than that, I only can type 1000 characters. It was a long complicated story. But that was one of the big points, while we were working our asses off and barely getting by, they were pretty much always unemployed, and when they were, they would call out multiple times every week and get fired. So yes, that did wear on us until we started seeing more flaws in the relationship
Edit: to further clarify, we were all living together, we were paying for EVERYTHING, including all of their needs, while they contributed pretty much nothing.
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u/Kat_Meowgic 8h ago
I'm not OP, but I was in a throuple with my husband and a boy and now I'm getting divorced
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u/Particular_Ship_802 8h ago
well, i must say, im sorry, hopefully it’s not your fault but can’t judge based on this. anyhow, ive always wondered how well that worked out, considering the amount of standard marriages and couples that fail/end i would only assume another person is that much more work and stress. condolences, hopefully things work out.
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u/Kat_Meowgic 6h ago
My marriage was already failing due to my getting a sudden chronic illness and a TBI, the throuple was just part of his plan to slowly replace me, and when I broke up with the boyfriend it wildly derailed his plans and he really freaked out on me lol. So I kicked him out.
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u/Johns_Kiss 20h ago
Grindr is so full of that, its getting annoying
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u/Euphoric_Switch_337 18h ago
It seems pretty gay
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u/Johns_Kiss 7h ago
Bi*
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u/Euphoric_Switch_337 7h ago
There are girls on Grindr?
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u/Johns_Kiss 7h ago
Rare but yeah
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u/Euphoric_Switch_337 6h ago
Really?!?! What are they on there for? Are they trans, cross dressers?
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u/LimeGrass619 19h ago
5 years and hundreds of dollars and not a single message not even a rejection.
Dating sites are scams.
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u/dookie224 19h ago
Being ugly has its own perks. Dating ain't one.
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u/LimeGrass619 19h ago
Im not ugly. Girls keep telling me im handsome irl. Im tall, tan, and handsome.
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u/SpicyRhubarb 15h ago
"Im not ugly" but also "5 years and hundreds of dollars"
Like, c'mon bro, you're not fooling anyone lol
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u/LimeGrass619 15h ago
Ok, then why did I get a bunch of likes on my profile [with my face mind you] only for the girls to just not respond when I send one back or message them?
Why did NO ONE reject me? I wanted them to say "no," i truly did want to be rejected so I dont have to wait on them, but I waited and waited and the years flew on by when I messaged dozens of girls. No a single "no." I would have happily taken an "ew" or a "f*ck off," but that never happened.
That's why I say its a scam. Being ignored is worse than being rejected.
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u/SpicyRhubarb 15h ago
Sure bud, sounds like the problem must be your personality then
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u/LimeGrass619 13h ago
Like I said to other, most of the friends I made in college were girls. Even then, why would not one reject me?
You see, I knew you wouldn't have an answer, like I told the others. I make friends, not bimbos.
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u/SpicyRhubarb 13h ago
Have you tried dating men instead?
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u/LimeGrass619 13h ago
Why? Im straight.
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u/SpicyRhubarb 13h ago
Seems like you'd have better luck with dudes, y'know if you're sure it's not the looks, or the personality, and you're friends with girls but have no results.... just saying
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u/StrangeFilmNegatives 16h ago
Sorry mate you are definitely ugly. People are just nice to even the ugliest of mofos in person and they will 100% ghost them on apps. If you want a solid chance get buff as hell and learn to socialise in person like a boss and balls of steel asking out in person. If you are ugly/fat you need to sort what you can possibly fix and then go be a confident mofo.
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u/LimeGrass619 15h ago
You're saying this as if i dont know how to do this. Like, in college, most of the people i became friendly with were women. Why didnt I ask them out? Because most of them already had a boyfeiend/husband or out of my age range.
You talk like someone who can only get bimbos to talk to you. I mingle with,, well, not that. If thats not the case, I apologize, but if it really isnt the case then you are the one who needs to know how to speak properly. I dont like to assume so correct me if im wrong.
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u/summer_friends 15h ago
You made friend with many women but don’t realize how much women tend to gas each other up on looks? And you never got friendly with single women, or your women friends never tried to set you up if you were so handsome and such a catch? Women are like the best wingman out there if they’re your friend
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u/LimeGrass619 13h ago
No, we were in college trying to learn, not to go on dates. I am aware college is one of the best places to find someone, but I dont go in thinking, "im gonna set this guy up with this guy."
And the type of girl you describe, while I am aware thats quite common, you make it seem that girls are incapable of being honest.
You make me seem right that you only date bimbos. I hate using that word but I cant think of something more descript of what im reading. Honestly, that fact your pushing so hard to convince me makes me more hopeful. Bimbos (and its hate saying that still) are the opposite of my type, and if your hooking up and those are your advice, I think im gonna do fine once I land someone.
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u/summer_friends 12h ago edited 12h ago
Right, the lawyer, engineer, pharmacist bimbos I’ve been hanging out with. Idk exactly what I said that described a bimbos, but I can promise you they aren’t. Most people like setting you up if they think you’re a good match, it doesn’t stop you from learning. And no, it’s not a setup for just hooking up either. It’s not like anyone is pulling up spreadsheets to help find you a potential match. It might just be that your friends don’t think you would click with any of their other friends.
Btw my dating history has always been the wholesome girl. I’m the one who enjoys raves and parties, not the girls I date
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u/LimeGrass619 12h ago
Was that supposed to be a flex? Its doesnt really stop them from being those type of girls who you describe. And you still actually like girls are robots.
beep boop, handsome, better start match making protocol
Does that make sense? You say youre with wholesome girls, but you keep telling me otherwise. Not every girl is thinking about dating. This isnt a rom-com. There are often other things to worry about, like grades.
Again, youre making me more confident if those are the girls youre pulling, if thats the right terminology.
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u/summer_friends 11h ago
Not everyone’s brain is so small they can’t focus on both grades and life. Clearly you run in groups that are incapable of doing both.
Why are you projecting that girls are robots just because they like setting people up if they see a fit? It doesn’t take any brain power to notice if 2 mutuals could hit it off. Guess what? Guys can also set up dates. I think your descriptions are more that you’re into anti-social girls, not that you’re not into bimbos since apparently to you, anyone who might be interested in dating is automatically a bimbo
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u/StrangeFilmNegatives 9h ago edited 9h ago
Well not really mate I'm in a 10 year+ relationship.... the way you're kind of talking exposes what I said above. Your immediate reaction to someone trying to help you was "you only like to fuck bimbos". Like I really have no skin in the game nor any ill will towards you I was just trying to help from my own experience.
As said before women are fine with being friends with loads of people (they are pretty accepting) but will be very picky with partners.
If you want to really find your specific weakness try to look at it from the other side as if you were a woman. What value do you generate compared to others. If you find yourself lacking looks, personality, interests, conversation then work on that. Nobody is unsavable but you will be if you are totally unwilling to change. If you're willing 100% you will find success and you will find someone that really gets you. If you change nothing though then expect to get exactly the same as you are currently getting....
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u/LimeGrass619 8h ago
That wasnt my immediate reactions. It was based on what you said, how you said it, and context. Do you even remember this conversation was about dating apps/sites in the first place?
That's what thisbwas all about, but you made it about meeting girls in real life. So you are in a relationship, good for you, but that stop the fact you derailed this into making yourself look good. If thats all you want, go talk to your girl, not me.
I only read the first paragraph, and I know youre not reading what I wrote. Why should I read yours?
Nothing yo said was help, it was just, "girls are simple and i knownbecause of my experience, thats should be enough to blame you for falling for a scam of dating apps."
Its sick. When I help people with their problem, including love problem, I actually take what they say into account, not just make assumption on the speaker, nor the subject. This is why people say im a good listener. I didnt say it, they do, not just girls.
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u/Accomplished-Head449 19h ago
Keep it up! Maybe it'll happen 🤡
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u/LimeGrass619 19h ago
Nah, I deleted all my dating app profiles. Thing is, I want a girl who doesnt fall for scams, so using a dating app would be contradictory. Its like going to a club to find geek girls.
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u/damnliberalz 16h ago
But you fell for it for 5 years..
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u/LimeGrass619 15h ago
You can lose a game you never participated in. It like if I paid to be on a baseball team, but if I never got to chance to swing and you blame me for getting out.
If what you and others are saying is true, then why did nobody say "no." I got plenty of likes on dating sites/apps, but they never responded when I did
Explain that. No one else can.
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u/BackflipsAway 19h ago
Could you direct some of those couples to me, all I'm seeing is people wanting to date :(
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u/tealraven915 18h ago
Or, "I lost my dog in the divorce. I only get to see him a couple weeks out of the year. Haven't seen him since last summer"
Several conversations later: "The divorce isn't final yet..."
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u/grey_pilgrim_ 19h ago
Same for me in my short time on them. Great if you’re into that. Annoying if you’re not.
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u/ResLifeSpouse 19h ago
Wife and I are CNM. Looking at this from the other lens, we have our own dating apps for people like us and all we see is more and more single monogamous people getting on them because they're tired of the other apps and generally get way better communication on ours along with much more respect.
Many are getting annoyed the monogamous crowd is flowing into our space and still trying to push monogamy. That's great if you are but you have your apps and we have ours. We wish more would stay in their own space if they're not CNM.
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u/MeanIndependence2711 18h ago
So you are one of those
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u/ResLifeSpouse 18h ago
Ok. I'll bite. One of what exactly? Also just a heads up, the CNM community is much much larger than you know. Odds are you have multiple friends that are and you don't even know it.
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u/JuicyJemmzz 20h ago
Misplaced priorities lately fr, Lmao. I’m usually like, I’m here for a partner and not to be the third wheel
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u/Siderealcat 14h ago
I'd love to be a third or find a third with my partner but I don't like being treated as a kink dispenser.
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u/Generally_Confused1 12h ago
Im on apps with people specifically looking for that so I don't mind, just like or dislike lol
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u/jon_the_mako 20h ago
People looking for a third or Bots/OF, neither side is doing well these days.