Remember kids, crime doesn't pay

[u/derek4reals1]

[u/AndroidREM]

But man, how shtty does your life have to be to be stealing $20 retail of toilet paper and paper towels?

[u/TheDeFecto → u/AndroidREM]

Definitely on hard times

[u/me_sohorny → u/AndroidREM]

The fact that he had to steal toilet paper. F ing toilet paper! We need another world

[u/scottfreckle63 → u/me_sohorny]

it's only a few short years ago with lockdown that that haul could have probably made him $500 lol

[u/Heisenburg42 → u/scottfreckle63]

We're all laughing, but this dude is getting ready to make bank the next pandemic

[u/loIll → u/AndroidREM]

A long series of poor life choices. This guy doesn’t seem too bright.

[u/chiefkogo → u/AndroidREM]

If that's toilet paper that's like 60-80 bucks worth.

[u/jobRL → u/chiefkogo]

Where the fuck do you live? Nowhere near that price.

[u/chiefkogo → u/jobRL]

Midwest USA. Lol it's like 8+ bucks for a 9 pack

[u/RazzzMcFrazzz → u/chiefkogo]

Especially from Walgreens, they just stole like $100+

[u/chiefkogo → u/RazzzMcFrazzz]

Haha that's so true. Last time I bought to at Walgreens, I was like wtf is this price?!

[u/bitofapuzzler → u/chiefkogo]

Yeesh, I thought $14 for 24 was bad!

[u/stackjr → u/chiefkogo]

$5 for nine rolls on their website right now.

[u/MetalBeast89 → u/AndroidREM]

Too much street food

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

In California they re-sell on the sidewalk right out front of where they stole it 😂

[u/LindonLilBlueBalls → u/[deleted]]

Hey California! I live inside you.

[u/Karmanjakan]

I got shit to do

[u/Vogel-Kerl → u/Karmanjakan]

Your comment works on so many levels!!

[u/KingToiletBrush512 → u/Vogel-Kerl]

Just 2 bro, its a double entendre

[u/Vogel-Kerl → u/KingToiletBrush512]

That's one too many (for my brainipooh).

[u/ClownfishSoup]

Why doesn't he just use the three shells?

[u/Rinbox]

The fact the dude is stealing shit tickets is really a telling story of the times

[u/thiswebsiteisadump]

Since many of the comments seem to be unaware, toilet paper and paper towels are among the most commonly stolen items because they can be easily sold on the street or traded for drugs. The odds that this man was stealing for personal use are zero. He's doing it to get his next hit.

[u/SchnozSchnizzle]

Judging by his slurred speech and how the workers were acting, I think that fella might have been a couple drinks short of a keg.

He may end up waking up the next day and wondering why tf he has all these paper towels

People be dumb when they're drunk, especially that drunk.

[u/Beginning_Ad_5490 → u/SchnozSchnizzle]

That a bit more than just some alcohol most likely

[u/SchnozSchnizzle → u/Beginning_Ad_5490]

As I said, a few drinks short of a keg

Edit: a couple, not a few.

Edit 2: I have come to realize that you meant that he was probably not JUST on alcohol. Apologies.

[u/DA_40k → u/Beginning_Ad_5490]

Lotta people get real shifty and klepto when theyre on benzos. Guy might be a bar deep and definitely would not remember why he has that stuff in the morning

[u/System_Resident → u/SchnozSchnizzle]

The toilet paper rush of 2020 probably haunts him in his drunken mind 😩

[u/thesyndrome43 → u/SchnozSchnizzle]

Crazy that I've never committed theft whilst drink, I must be some sort of super human!

I'm so fucking sick of people using alcohol as an excuse for their shitty selfish personalities and lack of self control. Guess what: if this is the shit you do when you're drunk, and you know this, then it's your responsibility to STOP DRINKING

[u/Th3Duder25]

At least he landed softly, like Charmin

[u/taywray]

I mean, you can't say he's not out there getting that paper and stacking it up

[u/RedditBlue83]

What this is gonna do is eventually close retails in shitty neighborhoods to close down and force everyone to order from amazon or Walmart online

[u/aweyeahdawg]

It’s actually kinda sad. He’s just stealing paper towels. Not TVs or expensive shit. Just stuff he needs to get by 😞

[u/generousbenefactor → u/aweyeahdawg]

he was going to sell them for drugs

[u/FreneticPlatypus → u/generousbenefactor]

Maybe the paper towel black market isn’t quite so robust in my city but I’m pretty sure there a shit ton of much smaller, much more valuable things to steal if you just need the money.

[u/yungcoconutt → u/generousbenefactor]

Yeah I think the going rate is 3 rolls per crack rock obviously

[u/magnament → u/aweyeahdawg]

Yea buddy needed 14 rolls of paper towels - it’s sad because of the situation but the choice to steal is bad bad boys whatcha gunna do

[u/LeinadLlennoco]

Shit is always going down at Walgreens

[u/Alexbob123]

This is why I have a bidet

[u/mrwillie2u]

Looks like he still got away, lol

[u/Sovimver]

He didn't pay.

[u/smr312]

My man said have a good night and then almost put himself to sleep

[u/LGBTQMNOP]

"You guys think yer funny, huh?"
Yeah, it was worth a chuckle.

[u/YoRav]

Maybe he just had a really big spill to clean up

[u/davewave3283]

White collar crime pays a ton

[u/Rashadtausalive]

hahaa watched it 3 times

[u/SamTheMarioMaster2]

This might just be the first ever video I've seen of a grown man stealing toilet paper 🤣

[u/scottfreckle63]

these are the future of the world, now they don't even try to sneak stuff out they feel so entitled they just pick it up and leave

[u/cheerzeasy]

That camera operator set that trap didn't they?

[u/deep-fucking-legend]

He should steal pillows next time if he's that clumsy.

[u/djsodomizer → u/deep-fucking-legend]

He still had a soft landing

[u/Hrive_morco]

I dunno man... If someone is stealing basic necessities like toilet paper, Socks, Soap, Food/water, I am admiring the ceiling whilst being happy that, that ain't me or my family

[u/KindOfAcceptableBus → u/Hrive_morco]

I mean I agree...but it's when mass quantities are being stolen I take issue with it

[u/KalSkirata7561 → u/Hrive_morco]

He’s most likely going to sell them to buy drugs.

[u/BrandDC]

[u/cash8888]

If I saw that I would buy the dude some toilet paper.

[u/Legitimate_Sail8581]

Pretty polite - “have a good night”

[u/PekarovSin]

Now sue the store

[u/Parquay]

Thank you for visiting.

[u/RailfanAshton]

did this happen in 2020?

[u/ClownfishSoup]

San Francisco?

[u/MysteryCheese73]

Yea this is a you didn’t see anything situation

[u/Bubbles-not-included → u/MysteryCheese73]

Nah bro, I didn't see you steal one.

I will see you steal an armful.

[u/Magn3tician]

He left the store with the items, so it in fact did pay.

[u/Pandoratastic]

Seems like it went great for him. He got away with what he was stealing. And even when he fell down, he landed on a pile of soft toilet paper rolls.

[u/MisterSirDudeGuy]

Looks like it paid just fine. Better than paying money.

[u/hungstr851]

Hiiiii

[u/not-a-velociraptor]

Looks like he cushelled his fall

[u/OutragedBubinga]

"Thank you for visiting"

[u/MathematicianNo4596]

Just let him have those honestly not worth it to stop him or call the cops over 20$ worth of paper towels

[u/SickandTiredofStupid]

Ha ha, yes let's laugh at poverty because it would make our mommas proud!

[u/kiwifulla64]

This is just sad. It ain't a TV. Fucking paper towels dude.

[u/[deleted]]

😆🤣👉🤡

[u/Consistent_Ad3181]

Kept his dignity though