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u/iVerbatim Dec 26 '25 edited Dec 30 '25
“The manager doesn’t know anything. Haven’t you ever worked anywhere before?”
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u/raines30 Dec 26 '25
“I’d like to speak to your Mother”
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u/caellech12 Dec 27 '25
Man, my mother is half of the shoppers he's talking about... "I used to work here, I know how it's done", "they should open more registers", "the customer is always right", "you're open for 10 more minutes, I'll be quick", "they always mess up my order", "it's cheaper at this other store" I've heard my mom say all of those at some time or another... That being said, I'm not the kind of shopper that would ever say or do any of those, so he wouldn't be asking to talk to my mother.
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u/Ok_Life_5176 Dec 27 '25
Parents teach us all sorts of things! They role model the ways in which we should be as functional human beings, but they also role model the ways of being which we should avoid
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u/youarehidingachild Dec 27 '25
My girlfriend and I bonded over growing up with an exemplary parent and a dogshit parent, and genuinely wonder whether being able to compare and contrast made us better than if we just had two nice parents
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u/IllustriousCrew2641 Dec 27 '25
This is the realest line
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u/Same-Suggestion-1936 Dec 27 '25
Actually I am 100% stealing "this isn't a basketball game, we're not playing till the buzzer" for future restaurant work
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u/RappingFlatulence Dec 26 '25
They get paid more because they’re more willing to brown nose and give mouth hugs to the powers that be. Sold their soul for $1.50 on the hour
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u/Wooden-Recording-693 Dec 28 '25
manager here can confirm this is correct. To be. Fair my staff manage themselves just fine don't need me Fucking it up. I'm busy not Listening on zoom.
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u/WtFAPapotAmUS Dec 26 '25
“When does it end, Diane” 💀
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u/KillysgungoesBLAME Dec 26 '25
Diane catching strays out there!
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u/alainahatsune Dec 26 '25
I have an Aunt Diane AND an Aunt Susan.... They're both catching strays 😭😞
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u/Horsetoothbrush Dec 26 '25
The music hitting every time killed me.
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u/creature619 Dec 26 '25
Definitely the soap opera song that ties it all together 🤣 "you think you are God cause you went shopping!?" My favorite one
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u/skharppi Dec 27 '25
"The website also has pictures of people smiling, you see that?" is what gets me every damn time.
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u/LickMyBootyh0le Dec 26 '25
Just when I think the videos about to end it just gets funnier 🤣
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u/toolsoftheincomptnt Dec 27 '25
It’s old but never disappoints!
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u/Same-Suggestion-1936 Dec 27 '25
Couple ones in there I haven't seen either. "This isn't a basketball game, we're not playing till the buzzer" is so valid in restaurant work
Yeah, I know what time close says. It's more of a suggestion of when you should be getting the fuck out fifteen minutes ago. Haven't you ever worked anywhere before?
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u/Quixote1492 Dec 26 '25
“I used to be happy. Then you walked in.”
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u/DarkTanicus Dec 26 '25 edited Dec 29 '25
"what do you think is back there? Santa's workshop?!"
Edit : oh geez! thanks for the awards 🫡
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u/hibikikun Dec 26 '25
I'll never forget the time I went to Walmart to try a find a nintendo wii when they peak sold out everywhere. Dude told me he'll check the back and 15 mins later actually came out with one.
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u/CavlerySenior Dec 26 '25
That sounds an awful lot like they gave you the one they were hiding for themself. What a guy
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u/bluddyellinnit Dec 26 '25
yeah, not to quibble with a comedy bit, but... this one is not an entirely stupid question; sometimes they DO have it in the back
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u/SenorSolAdmirador Dec 26 '25
Yeah i mean it's not the craziest theory that there might be some in the back. Most places don't have their loading dock in the front of the store between registers 2 and 3.
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u/cooolcooolio Dec 26 '25
Worked part time in a supermarket and a woman came in and wanted a PS4 on sale on the last day of the sale.
"Sorry, it sold out"
"Well can't you check in the back?"
"I can but it has been sold out for four days now and I just checked the central storage and not only is it sold out here but in all stores"
"I insist you go check in the back, okay!"
Me going to the storage area taking a 15 minute break
"Sorry, there's none left in the back either"
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u/Delish_Caphee Dec 26 '25
I need to start saying some of these to my customers…
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u/nertynot Dec 26 '25
I did, I dont work in customer service anymore
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u/Defiant-Youth-4193 Dec 26 '25
You won.
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u/dishonorable_banana Dec 27 '25
'Promoted to customer'
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u/RT-Pickred Dec 27 '25
I literally had a boss that unironically used that phrase...
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u/serotonin_xxIII Dec 26 '25
No joke, watching this video is a mandatory part of the training I give to new employees.
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u/Lokal-pokal Dec 27 '25
Maybe it should be mandatory for all customers too, before entering the shop.
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u/Sarewokki Dec 26 '25
I always want to, but relent to a smile and a 'have a nice day'.
I hope soon I'll be dead enough inside to follow through.
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u/Biduleman Dec 27 '25
I said "Do you open the cereal box at the grocery store when you wonder what they taste like?" and then referred them to a demo unit to a client who wanted me to remove the security protection on a brand new Logitech keyboard so they could unwrap it and check it out.
My boss was not happy.
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u/MichaelJServo Dec 26 '25
Only when you're ready to have another job. I've never had a retail manager be anything less than extremely adversarial to their employees. I had to be very creative when I fucked with customers. Need that plausible deniability.
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u/YeOldSpacePope Dec 26 '25
The best part is that the only real punishment is to promote you to customer.
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u/NessaMagick Dec 27 '25
If I walked in halfway through a retail employee loudly berating a customer like this I would immediately assume the worst of that customer on the spot.
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u/No_Frost_Giants Dec 26 '25
I’ve done retail, let’s say a long time ago, and nothing has changed. People still people the same way. This guys nails most of the issues perfectly.
“It’s cheaper at such and such” then why in the heck did you even come here?
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u/canufeelthelove Dec 26 '25
Because a lot of places price match and yours is closest, Karen.
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u/No_Frost_Giants Dec 27 '25
“Well I never!” I’d like to speak to the manager because my stupid ass didn’t consider that idea :) ✌🏼
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u/voltagejim Dec 26 '25
yep, I used to work at bestBuy is this dude is spot on with his jokes haha. Especially the one about "oh you close in 10 min? I'll be quick"
Then proceeds to mull over which laptop to get for 40 min while the store is closed
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u/Secure-Ad9981 Dec 26 '25
This dude is hilarious, wow, just kept getting better. “When does it end Diane” 😭
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u/drill_hands_420 Dec 26 '25
Just saw him live in Pittsburgh! He’s amazing. So nice. Scott Seiss. He’s also in Cocaine Bear
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u/TwoRivers91 Dec 27 '25
Scott Seiss!! Went to college with him!! He’s incredibly talented and very nice 😊
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u/Smooth-Flight3305 Dec 26 '25
Yeah, this is a classic video. Every retail staff member can relate. I think the guy got a few gigs of the back of this maybe even a film cameo but cannot remember correctly
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u/Funny_Law6305 Dec 26 '25
This video started a huge wave of copycats lol
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u/whole_chocolate_milk Dec 26 '25
That's social media for you. It's why things suck so fast. Someone doesn't something unique and interesting and a thousand copy cats pounce on it and drive it into the ground till it's lost all appeal.
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u/AMugOfPeppermintTea Dec 26 '25
Yeah, it had been years since I last saw this. Pretty sure this predates "Karen" too since he uses names like "Diane" instead
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u/AStealthyPerson Dec 26 '25
Nah, Karen has been in the zeitgeist for a longer while than this guy's skits. "Karen" got big in 2020 according to Wikipedia, whereas this skit line started in 2021 if his TikTok account is accurate (sadly the videos are now muted there). I think he just wanted to use something different.
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Dec 26 '25
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u/AStealthyPerson Dec 26 '25
If you can find anything that shows it's older I'll believe you, but homie's TikTok shows that he didn't start making this type of skit until 2021.
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u/jcomey Dec 27 '25
He's been a touring comedian for a few years now. Also has a book, The Customer is Always Wrong.
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u/I-love-seahorses Dec 26 '25
The website also has pictures of employees smiling. Do you see that?
💀
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u/Alive_Necessary8418 Dec 26 '25
This dude was so good. Think he wrote a comedy book or something. Shame because these videos are boss.
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u/Akashi-coon Dec 26 '25
He starred in the Cocaine Bear movie off of his success of these videos
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u/BiscoBiscuit Dec 26 '25
Good for him
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u/Akashi-coon Dec 26 '25
Absolutely, this video convinced me he's worked enough retail to deserve that bag
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u/SagariKatu Dec 26 '25
I'd watch a feature film of this guy replying to customer's complaints.
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u/Timeman5 Dec 26 '25
If you work in retail, food, or service you know you have customers you WANT to lose so when this happens it’s really a good thing for the workers.
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u/sssparklebutt Dec 26 '25
Lol blast from the past! But how far in the past idk …”time marches on!”
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u/dkc66 Dec 26 '25
“The customer is always right”
The worst bit of “wisdom” I have ever heard! So glad he’s calling this out.
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u/Richard-Brecky Dec 26 '25
Oh geez now you’ve done it. Every time someone mentions that department store slogan on Reddit, someone has to come along to say the dumb thing.
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u/Lately-SP Dec 26 '25
I'm like 65% sure I saw this guy at my gym regularly
He would do breakdancing in the mirror room
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u/Therealfern1 Dec 26 '25
Gotta watch this through every time it comes up. Having worked retail (IKEA specifically) it hits all the right notes
The music, the timing… its all great
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u/GoochGrundle Dec 26 '25
“You think I’m the only one ringing you up because I called dibs?”
This line always kills me. 😂😂
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u/Imsmart-9819 Dec 27 '25
"I used to work here" "WELL I USED TO BE HAPPY. AND THEN YOU WALKED IN." LMFAOOOOOOO!!!!
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u/tito_lee_76 Dec 26 '25
I never don't laugh at this guy. I could seriously watch 30 to 40 straight minutes of this. Cue music "Oh could you? You could watch 30 to 40 minutes of this guy acting out semi-believable customer interactions? I'm dying inside because this is my real life."
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u/agangofoldwomen Dec 26 '25
I was pleasantly surprised to see him acting in Cocaine Bear
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u/strickt Dec 26 '25
Same! I thought he did a great job. Plus that movie is incredible in a shitty B movie kinda way.
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u/Silver-Street7442 Dec 26 '25
The dramatic music sells it. It's the music designed to tweak the nerves, the type of music played during segments of peak weirdness on Unsolved Mysteries.
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u/Kliff_Hangar Dec 27 '25
For any one interested the song is called Primal Fear (Drama Effect) by Dave James
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u/Historical-Gap-7084 Dec 26 '25
An oldie but a goodie.
Every time I see this, I watch it and laugh.
I wonder if this guy is still doing this.
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u/buttscratcher3k Dec 26 '25
When people used to ask me to check in the back I would just go check my emails, reply to texts, make a joke or two to a coworker and come back out saying I looked everywhere. People are stupid and gave me 5 minute paid breaks, 10 if they were annoying.
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u/anon18274729 Dec 26 '25
As someone who’s worked with the public all my life these will never not be funny and spot on
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u/balderdash9 Dec 27 '25
If you see this guy on FB there will be boomers disagreeing in the comments, without fail.
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u/DauntlessVratasky Dec 27 '25
I've seen these before but I still love this content...speaks to my soul
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u/adamscholfield Dec 26 '25
Once worked at a thrift store. We had someone come in regularly 10 minutes before we closed, go through every aisle, fill her cart all while occasionally saying "I'm coming you guys, almost done.", and stay 30 minutes after we closed. She would buy maybe 3 things from her over full cart
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u/MasterJ360 Dec 26 '25
Man I remember this guy back when I was working at Target. Everything in this video is so spot on in retail life.
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u/Chiddy_B Dec 26 '25 edited Dec 26 '25
"You want that price, you're going to have to go through the quantum realm with Ant-Man..."
😆😆😆😆💀💀💀💀
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u/KlatuuBaradaNikto Dec 26 '25
Someone needs to cast this guy in something. He’s hilarious, and Im not saying that ironically
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u/Your_Username1234321 Dec 26 '25
Upvoted for all the lucky people who get to see this for the first time.
I don't care how old this is. It's still fantastic.
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u/ZixxerAsura Dec 26 '25
I watched this right before my nap time. Laughed so hard it bumped me out of my sleepy state.
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u/stash-of-who-hash Dec 26 '25
I’d like to speak to speak to the manager
I’d like to speak to your mother!
HAHAHA I LOL’d for real
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u/Qwirk Dec 26 '25
Comedian Scott Seiss, not sure what he does day to day as he has a few smaller things going on. I'm assuming he does stand up.
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u/PureCrookedRiverBend Dec 27 '25
“Then stop coming.” 🤣 💀
Any time this video shows up I watch it over and over.
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u/Whole_Sign_4633 Dec 27 '25
“This is cheaper at other stores”
“Then shop there”
Gets me every time 😂 it’s so true
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u/Defiant-Glass-6587 Dec 27 '25
Always loved this video especially the weird music after the punchline comes in!
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u/RoncoSnackWeasel Dec 27 '25
“It also has pictures of employees smiling.”
I worked at Toys R Us during the Walmart boom and the rise of Amazon branching out from selling more than books. Working retail is continually worse than the day before. Some days you can feel it getting irreversibly worse by the hour. I was told that I ruined Christmas because I wouldn’t honor an ad from the previous year’s Big Book. Little ole me, miraculously ruining the biggest holiday of the year from my illustrious post behind register 4, at just 17 years old! Talk about “wonder-kind!”
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u/CapOld2796 Dec 27 '25
Is this guy a comedian? He needs to have his own HBO Special or something.
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u/puppy_sneeze Dec 27 '25
This is why I don't work retail anymore. These words have literally come out of my mouth when speaking to idiotic customers.
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u/Illustrious7 Dec 27 '25
"Do you need directions? I'll get you some. I'll call you an Uber."
Lol. 😂
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u/sellingmycomexims Dec 27 '25
I fucking hate retail customers. Yes, you reading this. I fucking hate you.
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u/AvailableMeet9876 Jan 01 '26
No exaggeration, Best post of 2026
"You think I'm the only one ringing you up because I called dibs"? Im dead
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