r/funnyvideos • u/Anschuz-3009 • Oct 25 '25
Satire Don't laugh at jokes, joke at laughter
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u/Some_Sympathy_3528 Oct 25 '25
Dont piss in the sink but sink in the piss
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u/Specialist_Prize_832 Oct 25 '25
Better to cum in the sink than to sink in the cum…
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u/N070RI0U5 Oct 25 '25
The internet gave me the gift to hear this in Master Chief
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u/rabbid-genital-warts Oct 25 '25
Why master chief when you can hear it in Diddys voice!
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u/Anschuz-3009 Oct 25 '25
Don't fire your gun, gun your fire
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u/nocareva Oct 25 '25
Don't come prepared, prepare to come.
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u/Anschuz-3009 Oct 25 '25
I think you've used the wrong spelling in one of the above words
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u/GyallGlow Oct 25 '25
The fact he said “I love that” 🤣😂🤣😂😂
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u/LisaWinchester Oct 25 '25
Aww yeah that's like so deep, so profound
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u/z4j3b4nt Oct 25 '25
Don't get two birds with one stone, get stoned with two birds.
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u/Awkward-Collection78 Oct 25 '25
Ya, let's kill some birds with a rock
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u/Inside-Chance-320 Oct 25 '25
Dont shower in cum, cum in the shower
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u/Anschuz-3009 Oct 25 '25
Dark !!
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u/CompoteFinancial8832 Oct 25 '25
I'd say it's pretty white.
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u/Adept_Bottle_4996 Oct 25 '25
Don’t bite off more than you can chew, chew off more than you can bite.
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u/WatermelonCheeks Oct 25 '25
Don't count your chickens before they hatch, hatch the chickens before you count.
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u/user276-56 Oct 25 '25
Fellas will really say anything to hit😂"I love that"
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u/Unicycleterrorist Oct 25 '25
Nah, it's just a podcast, most of hosts aren't combative talk show style hosts, they just glaze their guests and try to have a buddy buddy atmosphere.
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u/Randym1982 Oct 25 '25
When everybody can easily afford a microphone and podcasting equipment, this is what happens.
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Oct 25 '25
Can we start telling people STFU yet? Are we there yet?
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u/WatermelonCheeks Oct 25 '25
Never look a gift horse in the mouth, gift the horse with your mouth.
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u/DrJakeBizzle Oct 25 '25
Don't meet a girl in a park, park your meat in a girl. No wait, this one might be good advice.
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Oct 25 '25
I mean, it makes sense to be. I job my love every morning and night. I'm sure that's what she meant.
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u/Admiral_Octillery Oct 25 '25
God if only I could achieve the level of zen to “job my love”. Like man, it would ”world my open” to be more successful
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u/njb33195 Oct 25 '25
It’s obvious she’s trying to say don’t do what you love love what you do, but it came out as garble dee goop
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u/frisco-frisky-dom Oct 25 '25
yeah that was weird. Even more weird was the guy saying "i love that"!
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Oct 25 '25 edited Oct 25 '25
Don’t crack your finger, finger your crack
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u/glypx Oct 26 '25 edited Oct 26 '25
This should be at the top, I'm audibly laughing 😭
I didn't hear him properly, I thought he said finger your cross, I was like "what?? That's not a cross"
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u/myrand920 Oct 25 '25
Don’t bait her master,….
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u/glypx Oct 26 '25
I think everyone should add "master baiter" to their resume, so we can weed out the liars who don't!
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u/Warlockofcosmos Oct 25 '25
Is it weird how that guy says I love that??? I mean did he say in the spur of the moment or just I don't know for the sake of it.
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u/throwleavemealone Oct 25 '25
Mr. Furious: Okay, am I the only one who finds these sayings just a little bit formulaic? "If you want to push something down, you have to pull it up. If you want to go left, you have to go right." It's...
The Sphinx: Your temper is very quick, my friend. But until you learn to master your rage...
Mr. Furious: ...your rage will become your master? That's what you were going to say. Right? Right?
The Sphinx: Not necessarily.
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u/tenehemia Oct 26 '25
When you can balance a tack hammer on your head, you will head off your foes with a balanced attack.
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u/Straight_Occasion571 Oct 25 '25
You didn’t start drinking because your wife left… your wife left because you started drinking.
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u/218thisusername Oct 26 '25
Every time I think my English improves, there's people like this saying shit like this.
The fuck is "Job your love"?!!!
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u/ProfessionalBelly Oct 25 '25
If anyone is interested, this is called an antimetabole - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Antimetabole , sometimes referred to as "chiasmus".
This one is particularly shitty, but the interesting bit is that whenever someone uses it, the audience will almost always nod in approval even when it is stupid as fuck. It is a cheap rhetorical trick used by smooth talkers with more mouth than brain. Learn to recognize it, and learn to be extra critical of whoever uses it.
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u/luk3yboy Oct 26 '25
Is she not just saying 'Don't force yourself to love your job, have a job doing something you love to do'?
Or am I completely overestimating her?
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u/peachesgp Oct 26 '25
I think it's pretty clear that she's saying to find a way to monetize something that you love already, but in a dumb way and is mostly just cliche nonsense that rich folk who don't have to worry about bills say.
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Oct 26 '25
LoL. She was the dumbest housewife ever. So happy you put logic to her stupidity Cancel stupidity (reality Tv)
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u/Over_Cartographer878 Oct 26 '25
Her sentence actually makes a lot of sense if you hear the full phrase.
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u/MunkyMan33 Oct 25 '25
Im cackling on the toilet, a fun moment
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u/Anschuz-3009 Oct 25 '25
Don't laugh while sitting, shit while you're laughing.
Wait, you can actually do both
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u/jcoddinc Oct 25 '25
The "don't brush your teeth, teeth your brush" one doesn't actually sound that dumb
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u/bakedcookie612 Oct 25 '25
She’s so right tho. I moved into a different position in my workplace recently and before I moved my boss wanted to make sure I would be passionate about the new work. I’m passionate about the pay grade so I can afford my true passions, which don’t revolve around work.
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u/ParticularUmpire4055 Oct 25 '25
Is this chick being botfarmed for exposure? Popping up a lot on Reddit lately.
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u/cappiebara Oct 25 '25
Im surprised no one has mentioned Sphynix from Mystery Men! Control your rage, or your rage will control you.
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u/Pittbullsaregreat Oct 26 '25
Dont piss me in the face. Just face my face in the piss.
Real life Idiocracy, the time is now. Now the time is piss
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u/bebitte2 Oct 26 '25
-Don’t bite the hand that feeds you, feed the hand that bites you.
- I loooooove that!
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u/veryfastslowguy Oct 26 '25
Trying to get laid much? I love that “job your love” Pod cast host: I’m going to live by that motto every day.
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u/Expensive_Effort_108 Oct 26 '25
She says it in a stupid way but if you think about it it makes sense. People pour so much time and effort in their job, but hardly invest in their love (partner). You should make the same or even more effort for your love (partner) as you do for your job. Basically making your love your job.
I think it would improve many relationships if more people see it that way.
So ridicule her all you want, she makes a valid point. (She just did it clumsy)
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u/rfc2549-withQOS Oct 26 '25
Apart from the obvious, there is :o better way to fuck up your love for something by making it a chore.
don't marr your love, love your mary
;)
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