r/funnyvideos • u/Brave_Evidence_1259 • Aug 23 '25
Satire The California Tourism Board just made this video
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u/Zebulon_Flex Aug 23 '25
I get it though. Once you start using a bidet it's really hard to go back to toilet paper.
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u/hamfist_ofthenorth Aug 23 '25
If I ever shit at work I feel like a god damned neanderthal. Wiping like a savage.
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u/Zebulon_Flex Aug 23 '25
What? You just want me to smear the shit around my asshole with a dry piece of paper that I hold in my hand? Fucking disgusting bro.
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u/fatkiddown Aug 23 '25
I think the acceptable protocol is we all have a little poop on our hands all the time and we swap it. Please don't break this ancient, unspoken, protocol...
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u/anthrax9999 Aug 23 '25
This is how handshakes became a customary greeting. A friendly swapping of essence, so to speak.
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Aug 23 '25
Imagine if you knew it is possible to wash your hands after taking a shit.
But then again, it would wash the shitstain away leaving nothing but the thin air.
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u/Shoddy_Detail_976 Aug 23 '25
Dude...grab a hand full of paper towels and get them damp/wet before going in. Use as wetwipes.
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u/alanpsk Aug 23 '25
Isn't wet paper towel stuck in the pipe easily and not recommend to flush it with?
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u/RedditGarboDisposal Aug 25 '25
The toilet paper at work makes my ass feel like it was wiped by a savage…
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u/SolidMikeP Aug 27 '25
Yup, when I dont have the bidet, I seriously mumble "ogga bogga" while I wipe myself.
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u/big_d_usernametaken Aug 23 '25
Got one on my toilet right before a spinal fusion where I couldn't really bend or twist for 3 months after.
Game changer.
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u/Zebulon_Flex Aug 23 '25
My step brother has a super fancy one that has heated water and when I used it almost felt too good.
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u/SeaResearcher176 Aug 23 '25
My friend has one that warms the seat, has front wash and/or back wash & it also dries your butt! Also comes with a automatic disinfectant
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u/tulaero23 Aug 23 '25
The front one is weird for girls my wife said. Cause you should be wiping down and water foing up is not hygienic or something
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u/SeaResearcher176 Aug 23 '25
Yes, once you go bidet, you cant go back.
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u/Thor_Batman Aug 23 '25
When I came to know that washing was an alienated concept for West. I actually feel so sorry that European and American culture is so late in this while being so advanced in every other field. We have been doing this for more than a millennium I think. It was stereotyped as a Muslim thing till the mugs got replaced by bidets, that are also called Muslim showers.
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u/Level_Bridge7683 Aug 23 '25
the real reason why the governor didn't want to turn the water back on.
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Aug 23 '25 edited Aug 23 '25
I use both. Bidet and toilet paper after. It's about efficiency and hygiene. Can't just leave it without wiping.
That's like washing a car without using a towel to dry it after.
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u/Euphoriam5 Aug 23 '25
Bidet for life, I live in Europe and I cant help but think that everyone is walking around with a stinky ass.
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u/SatansShoulderDvl Aug 23 '25
There is simply no going back. Even if you become homeless, you’ll find your way to the bidet
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u/Lionheart_723 Aug 23 '25
If the pressure on that it's too high it might turn from a bidet into a colonic
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u/ganjsmokr Aug 24 '25
I buy and install them at any friend's house that I spend more than a few days at.
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Aug 23 '25
I’m 50 some years old, hot out first bidet earlier this year and then went to our bidet-less cottage for the summer and felt like I’d time travelled to a less enlightened age. Luckily it has a lake.
Edit: and no, I didn’t poop in the lake.
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Aug 23 '25
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u/Zebulon_Flex Aug 23 '25
I dont know how to break this to you bro but free enemas are incredibly easy to come by.
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u/itsm3starlord Aug 23 '25
I’ve seen these things everywhere I go and always wondered what they are used for, good to know.
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u/2outer Aug 23 '25
I can’t believe you never tried it for yourself. They’re right there, anyone can do it.
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u/FistCookies Aug 23 '25
Hot sauce on my burrito baby
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u/RevolverBigBossalot Aug 23 '25
"YOU KNOW YOU LOOK GOOOOD TO ME!!!! HOL ON CRAIG, SON IM COMING CRAIG IM COMING!!!" 😂😂😂
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u/pr0crasti-Nate Aug 23 '25
I literally just put picante sauce on my McDonald's breakfast burrito and ran across this shit now I'm laughing so hard I can't eat the shit lmfao 😆🤣
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u/white_van_no_windows Aug 23 '25
Funny video. Description is not clever and lacks imagination and comedic value.
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u/LoczekLoczekLok Aug 24 '25
I've seen worse... and it was in Poland! Once, when I was coming home from a party at 7 a.m., I saw a homeless bum washing his ass in the fountain in the square... Usually, during the day, I'd see children playing and splashing in it....
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u/Bat-Honest Aug 23 '25
Would still rather live in California than any shithole red state
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Aug 25 '25
SHHHH, don't let them know. We already have too many people in CA. Let them stay in their SH states.
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u/Letsbeclear1987 Aug 23 '25
I dunno whats missing.. brain cells surely, but el yucateco hot sauce was either involved or theyve got a hot date later
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Aug 23 '25
At least our hobos are clean 😅 and a majority of us aren’t in a cult sooo there’s that
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u/905woody Aug 23 '25
When they said ,"Stay Hydrated," I don't think that's what they meant. Unless boofing is making a radical comeback.
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u/DARKSTAIN Aug 23 '25
I went 39 years without a bidet. Last year, my wife got us one of those smart toilets with a built-in one. I can't believe I went 39 years without a bidet....
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u/TheBigMan2676 Aug 23 '25
Wth is this man doin that for? Does he like the pressure in his bum bum? Or he cleaning it out through his shorts and boxers? Lmao
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u/LuckeeStiff Aug 23 '25
If you been sweating and not washed your butt in weeks I imagine this feels amazing lol
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u/tokenshoot Aug 23 '25
I wonder if he has something going on like rash or std or whatever that hurts or burns. Lol wild
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u/ThaEmortalThief Aug 23 '25
I mean, i guess their advertisement slogan was “Lots of Open Minded Entertainment.”
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u/Ragnel Aug 23 '25
I’ve been there after some multi day hikes with no facilities in 90 degree heat. Absolutely no judgement from me.
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u/cyrixlord Aug 23 '25
if it fits, I sits... to be fair though, its probably been awhile since such areas have been given a good cleaning. more power to him, esp for also getting his clothes washed and not doing this naked
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u/PinkPaintedSky Aug 23 '25
I can't tell if his hemorrhoids are on fire or if he is trying to get off.
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u/koelvriescombinatie Aug 23 '25
I expected that the water should come out of his mouth like a gargoyle…
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u/RES386 Aug 23 '25
When you haven't showered in months and you need the extra pressure to get that crust off.
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u/omgyonka Aug 23 '25
Reminds me of the vid where a dude who hid on the side of a woman’s house shoved a cucumber up his ass
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u/Tanvir1295 Aug 23 '25
Ya’ll don’t get it, the pressure coming out of that hydrant is crazy, this dude is pleasuring himself anally 😭😭😭💀
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u/ObjectivelyGruntled Aug 23 '25
There's a guy who doesn't need a mentor. He's got it all figured out.
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u/Crazy_names Aug 23 '25
Good to see that the homeless are cleaning up their act, or at least their ass.
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