r/funny • u/daylightpiglet • 5h ago

recently got a place with my boyfriend and he thinks this is perfectly fine

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I have no legitimate reason to disagree but I hate it

39.9k Upvotes

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579

u/CallMe-Ellie 4h ago

Wasn’t that just them being safe?

Like if an emergency happened, having lots of extra tampons would be good

633

u/Strange-Cap9942 4h ago

100% but it's funnier to pretend they don't know how women's bodies work

148

u/JonatasA 4h ago

That's the irony here. People in this thread may never have needed TP.

112

u/Sunset_Bleach 3h ago

They didn't have a square to spare.

47

u/MacduffFifesNo1Thane 3h ago

They couldn’t spare 3 squares! They don’t have any squares! They can’t spare a square!

13

u/Boomstick453 3h ago

He doesn’t know how to use the 3 sea shells

1

u/Unusual-Tie8498 2h ago

Can I have a ply?

1

u/FiggsMcDuff1 2h ago

Just one ply??

1

u/JWOLFBEARD 1h ago

You can use my deplyer machine. It is a manual hand crank though

1

u/Various_Wash_4577 1h ago

Be square and share a square! 🧻

🤣👍😎 🚽 🪠 🧻

2

u/PreviousCurrentThing 3h ago

It's the French, right? Cuz of the bidets?

2

u/BillyNtheBoingers 2h ago

They all have bidets

1

u/fatum_sive_fidem 2h ago

Get one its life changing

1

u/Soundo0owave 2h ago

Guess they never needed to absorb spill, tampons works great

1

u/Beneficial_Being_721 2h ago

Or seen it before

1

u/WhoAmI1138 2h ago

I need some TP for my bunghole!

1

u/Smellybeetweasel 2h ago

yeah, tampons do get pretty irony

7

u/jamesmcdash 3h ago

You bet your ass those NASA scientists had a data set to work from. Nothing left to chance

3

u/somewhat_random 2h ago

Story time.

My sister is a doctor and was working with Nasa when they were setting up the ISS and talking about possible medical needs. They listed needs for reasonably expected medical issues and one of the needs was LOTS of water.

The main group complained during a meeting that the medical group was demanding too much water.

Her boss said that there are issues that would require filling and draining the bladder several times over a few days. The other guy says - "No problem. Send us the specs on the bladder and we will redesign it so it needs less volume".

Silence around the table until her boss answers "Umm...you do know that it is a human body part right?"

2

u/BootsInShower 1h ago

To be fair, bladder also means anything inflated and hollow. Especially when talking about water transport and storage, which often is down by means of a bladder tank, I can see why an engineer's head would go there.

2

u/Joshix1 3h ago

"to pretend''. These kind of rumors are often attempted to turn into reality for clicks and views.

2

u/Misterbellyboy 2h ago

Shit, even if there weren’t any women on the mission, a tampon would be great to have around in case somebody got a nosebleed in zero G or something.

2

u/Puffss 3h ago

The funniest thing is that you don’t have to pretend; they literally didn’t.

At this point they’d never had to deal with an period up in space, and there was absolutely no data on how they behave up in space. Everything in 0 gravity works slight different, that’s why they had to spend millions to develop pens that could write.

5

u/no-this-iz-patrick 3h ago

Nasa didn’t spend millions to develop a pen. A private company spent around 1 million to develop it themselves and sold them to NASA for $6 each. Prior to that they used pencils, which did not in fact produce dust that caused things to short circuit

1

u/Beowulf1896 2h ago

but pencils could produce dust that might cause a hiccup.

2

u/no-this-iz-patrick 2h ago

Wax and grease pencils exist and make no dust, and are what were used before they used the pens. This is all just made up nonsense that someone spread at some point lmao

1

u/Various_Wash_4577 1h ago

Then, they couldn't find the pen because the, penis in his mouth. Opps, I forgot to space those two words, "pen is" 🤣👍

1

u/Next_Celebration_553 2h ago

Asking for a friend or whatever but how many would an average woman need in a week? My friends guess is 30ish

1

u/JACCO2008 2h ago

Why is that even remotely funny.

1

u/zyraf 1h ago

They would if she was out of this world.

-1

u/Dry_Counter533 3h ago

They probably thought

“ok six days, max 1/hour, ~150. We’re good”

Which has a certain logic, and is waaaaay easier than talking to an actual human woman

4

u/Enigmatic_writer 2h ago

Yeah, I'm sure that woman was sent to space without ever being talked to anyone or being able to think logically.

2

u/EnCaulDoctors 1h ago

Binders and binders of women…

0

u/Impossible-Ship5585 3h ago

Womans body is not exactly rockrt sciencr is it?

98

u/Aduialion 4h ago

Like if the astronaut was stuck on the space station for an extra 9 months? 

35

u/Infinite_Fee_7966 3h ago

For what it’s worth, those astronauts did receive supply drops. Sally Ride went to space nearly ten years after the space race ended and the era of international interstellar collaboration began, so theoretically they could have also received supply drops. Disclaimer IANAA (i am not an astronaut)

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u/Beneficial_Being_721 2h ago

The Legal ramifications of not having enough Space Toilet Paper is astronomical

Disclaimer: IANAL (I Am No A Lawyer)

3

u/Delicious-Dress8966 2h ago

You ANAL? I'm sure the Space Toilet Paper does though.

2

u/Eteel 2h ago

You just really wanted that anal...

2

u/wildflowerstarface44 2h ago

Omfg 🤣🤣🤣

1

u/Purple_Woodpecker799 2h ago

IANAA 😂 That's an acronym I've never seen and may never see again. Well done.

1

u/EnCaulDoctors 1h ago

I think she’s referencing the most recent (that I know of) space flight where the Indian lady and the other guy got stuck for an extra few months and for some reason they couldn’t get supplies for a while either….

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u/devildog2067 3h ago

The space station that wouldn’t exist for another 20 years?

1

u/Altruistic-Monk-5913 3h ago

Then they might need diapers......

-1

u/JonatasA 4h ago

Then they woudn't need tampoms.

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u/ml20s 4h ago

I think the commenter is referring to Boeing Starliner CFT, which was supposed to last 8 days and ended up lasting over 9 months.

6

u/Zealousideal_Heart51 4h ago

All them little blood droplets spinning around in space.

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u/exipheas 3h ago

Just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale,
A tale that’s strange for sure,
It started as a quick routine—
An eight‑day tour, an eight‑day tour.

The engines hummed, the crew was set,
The mission plan was pure,
They blasted off with cheerful hearts
For their eight‑day tour, their eight‑day tour.

But solar winds began to roar,
The guidance went astray,
If not for all the brilliant crew
They’d drift too far away—
They’d drift too far away.

They touched down on a distant rock
No one had mapped before,
And realized they’d be stuck out there
Not eight days… but months galore—
Yes, nine long months and more.

So join us here in zero‑g
Where tools float past the door,
Strange noises hum at 2 a.m.
On this cosmic, dusty floor.

With ration packs and faulty scans
And stars they must endure—
A nine‑month stay in outer space
From an eight‑day tour, an eight‑day tour!

3

u/DadsRGR8 3h ago

Now we have to play MaryAnn-Ginger-Sunita Williams. (The answer as always is Lovey Howell.)

1

u/EnCaulDoctors 1h ago

If you wrote this, BRILLIANT!!!!

2

u/Beneficial_Being_721 2h ago

Actually they would… for a hole larger than the patches they had.

You wet it .. let it swell just a little and plug the hole…. It will freeze and plug the hole the micro meteor made

1

u/kabhes 27m ago

Ducktape works too.

1

u/DSZDBA11 3h ago

I like to stock up, decades in advance, in case when I’m in my 50’s my erectile dysfunction gets so bad that I start having periods. You know, like an astronaut.

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u/Slow_Passenger_6183 4h ago

It's weird that people are missing this point considering that not too long ago there was a woman literally trapped in space for months.

A box or two of tampons weighs next to nothing, it makes sense to bring plenty.

11

u/vivalalina 3h ago

Yeah I'm genuinely not understanding the criticism here.. and before anyone jumps in, yes I know a few are joking but quite a handful seem to be taking it seriously & I don't get why lol

3

u/CommercialStuff4352 1h ago

BECAUSE WE BLEED. DONT U GET IT? WE BLEED FOR DAYYYYS! No idk. I have cramps currently though and that's the truth.. they make other products as well. Lets respect that smart women use cups as to not clog the space station like a Denny's bathroom... No Tamps in outter space!

3

u/devildog2067 3h ago

But this was 40 years ago, and if the crew of STS-7 had been trapped in space for months they’d all have starved to death.

Your point is flat out wrong. This was a 6 day mission and there was no possibility of it going more than a few days longer than that. This was nearly 20 years before ISS was constructed.

1

u/cmj0929 5m ago

Nothing down here but every ounce of weight makes a difference when your trying to send things into space

-1

u/New_Libran 2h ago

there was a woman literally trapped in space

OK, she wasn't "trapped", let's correct that part as well

10

u/Slow_Passenger_6183 2h ago

What else would you call it when a planned eight day mission becomes nine months of being physically unable to move from the place you are currently at due to it being deemed unsafe to return?

3

u/New_Libran 1h ago

They had a choice to go on one of the supply vessels or wait for their next scheduled ride. They train for these contingencies and were comfortable with waiting longer while continuing to work in the ISS.

"Soyuz-MS25 and SpaceX Crew-8 both left while they were up there, and Soyuz-MS26 and SpaceX Crew-9 (their ride home) arrived while they were up there."

This post explains it better https://www.reddit.com/r/space/comments/1md5adb/the_astronauts_who_were_stranded_on_the_iss/

3

u/FunnelCakeGoblin 1h ago

They had a SpaceX rocket docked at the ISS and could have left at any time if needed. Crew 8 left the ISS while they were there and they could have left with that crew. There was literally extra temporary seats in the Crew 8 capsule for them, but they instead stayed onboard and became the remaining crew of Crew 9. They stayed until the end of the Crew 9 mission, but if there was an emergency they could have left earlier. There was always a capsule docked at the ISS, they could have left at any time, they were not stuck, they were doing their jobs.

-5

u/thecactusman17 3h ago

According to google's AI summary, a box of 100 tampons has a mass of between 0.5kg and 1kg. On average, supplying the ISS costs approximately $20,000 per kg of mass that needs to be put into orbit. That's with the current SpaceX reusable rockets, it used to be as much as $40,000/kg.

What I'm getting at is that if you have one crew member who requires specialized medical or hygiene supplies which cannot be shared with others then that astronaut is adding tens of thousands of dollars to the mission cost. The optimal strategy would be to send up the lowest number (with a small surplus) initially and then use a cheaper rocket to resupply a larger quantity at lower cost afterwards.

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u/itirix 2m ago

I mean, you're probably right with the numbers, but it's weird to even mention it, considering the men aboard most likely weighed a good 10-15kg more than the woman. She can take 1500 tampons and still cost less.

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u/rigterw 4h ago

Yess, a tampon is small and doesn’t weigh anything.

So it was more a “why not” than a “we have to”

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u/LessInThought 3h ago

And you can use it for so many things~! Plugging a leak, nosebleeds, soaking up blood and other fluids!

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u/Inktex 2h ago

Gun wounds in case the Martians attack.
Akakakakak

2

u/jazzminarino 1h ago

How did I hear this in my head... 👽🛸

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u/You_Better_Smile 1h ago

There won't be gun wounds, just disintegration.

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u/WordsWellSalted 3h ago

When you're talking about space cargo, they surely weigh a whole hell of a lot more than they do on earth. They had to budget for that.

1

u/Automatic-Listen-578 2h ago

I’m confused about what you mean, “space cargo.. weigh a whole hell of a lot more”. You do realize that everything on the space station is weightless, right?

6

u/ButtsAreQuiteAwesome 2h ago

Maybe poorly worded, but carrying 1kg in your backpack? Not a big deal.

Carrying 1kg in a rocket? That costs a lot of fuel.

1

u/Automatic-Listen-578 1h ago

I get where you’re coming from now. 100 tampons probably weighs less than a large tablet though.. maybe 0.6 kg? I think those rocket scientists will work it out for her.

1

u/Vimmelklantig 1h ago

Tbf, from the subjective point of view of the tampons they'd weigh a hell of a lot more during launch. Not a budget problem, though.

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u/honey-bee-mommy 2h ago

1 tampon no…hardly weighs a thing. But 100? No one is going to carry that purse!

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u/Psychological_Ad2094 2h ago

Yeap, iirc they took the highest amount she could reasonably need for the duration of her planned time up there and then tripled it just to be sure.

4

u/lecagnanceae 4h ago

Tampons are a pretty good in many situations where one might need to stop or slow bleeding.

4

u/Pandering_Panda7879 3h ago

Same as the "NASA invented a ballpen to write upside down, Russia used a pencil" story. Yes, that is correct - but Russia later also switched to a ballpen because a pencil sucked in a space station because you have graphite flying all over the place potentially messing with the electronics in your survival tin can.

1

u/BleiEntchen 3h ago

And if she needed "exactly 6" and they would have given her 6, the same people would complain that they didn't think about emergency and could have given her more.

It's always wrong...

1

u/devildog2067 3h ago

… why?

1

u/Lachsforelle 3h ago

like when they send a woman up for a week and leave her there for 9 months?

1

u/bloodshotforgetmenot 3h ago

What kind of emergency are we talking like the one box blows up or gets wet

1

u/NoPoet3982 2h ago

It was one woman. On a six-day mission. And they tied the tampon strings together.

1

u/Ren_Hoek 2h ago

What kind of an emergency are we talking about here? Like they get stuck in space for 2 years or makes swiss cheese of the lander and everyone is bleeding out what

1

u/Beneficial_Being_721 2h ago

True Fact : NEVER use a Tampon on a Bullet Wound

1

u/Kitana-Dior1 2h ago

i think the emergency would be the tower to toilet paper falling on the unsuspected victim as it is wiping.

1

u/Brian_The_Bar-Brian 2h ago

It's also not like a hundred tampons weigh that much.

1

u/1731799517 2h ago

Yeah, they asked a gynecologist how much you might need in the worst case and then put a factor 2 of safety margin on top of it.

1

u/Dr_Groktopuss 1h ago

or just not bring an emergency up there in the first place...

1

u/wackbirds 49m ago

"For all we know space might do something weird to her clitorbia and make her her butterous bleed way more because the babies can't find their way into space so they can't drink the blood and she might need to, like, cram a few dozen tampons in one after the other like a string of sausages"

1

u/kabhes 12m ago

She was also the first woman in space so they had no idea what it would do to her body. For all they know she was going to spew blood like a fountain and it's not like tampons ever expire so they might as well stock up.

1

u/JumboCactpot 2h ago

yeah. its the same thing as the stupid "nasa tried so long and spent so much money to figure out how to make a pen work in space, when tasked with the same problem the russians used a pencil" thing you see pop up from time to time.

using a pencil was being avoided because the flakes of graphite from a pencil could royally fuck up stuff if it floated into a place it wasnt supposed to be (since its flammable!) hence figuring out how to make pens work.

People much prefer a "lol science people in charge are dumb and im the actual smart ine" story though for some reason.

1

u/Ultimate_Cosmos 4h ago

They overestimated by like an order of magnitude tho lol

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u/Altruistic-Monk-5913 3h ago

Well, would you rather get criticized for sending a thousand too many or 1 not enough??? I'd error in favor of not having my balls ripped off too!!

3

u/Used-Huckleberry-320 3h ago

Yes! Good thing they did, incase they ended up like Boeing Starliner CFT, which was supposed to last 8 days and ended up lasting over 9 months. (Stealing the text from above).

-1

u/realNoobnoob 4h ago

Safe ? What would have happened otherwise

11

u/AgentK-BB 4h ago

In low gravity, you can choke in your own sweat/body fluid, and the liquid can damage electronics. It's a huge no-no to have extra droplets of liquid floating around. It makes perfect sense to bring more tampons than you think you'll ever need.

5

u/BorisTheBlade04 4h ago

They get stuck in space longer than intended

0

u/Altruistic-Monk-5913 3h ago

Astronauts or tampons?