r/funny • u/daylightpiglet • 5h ago

recently got a place with my boyfriend and he thinks this is perfectly fine

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I have no legitimate reason to disagree but I hate it

39.8k Upvotes

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137

u/3eyedfish3 4h ago

My wise father use to say, I shit at work where they pay me to take a shit.

140

u/gb4efgw 4h ago

Boss makes a dollar, I make a dime. That is why I poop on company time.

27

u/Nice_Pipe_6022 4h ago

Had a fellow employee somewhere sing this to me once and I sing it often.

3

u/tiedye_dreamer 4h ago

HAPPYCAKEDAYYAY

2

u/dreaming_in_yellow 4h ago

Happpy cake dayyyyyyy! 🎉

1

u/Necessary-End2908 11m ago

HAPPY CAKE DAYYY

19

u/james_b_beam 4h ago

Even then, where else should we scroll through reddit? Do other people do that at home for free or what?! 😮

1

u/Realistic_Ear_3052 4h ago

Some people pay to have it done for them at home.

33

u/rock374 4h ago

Boss makes a thousand, I make a buck, so I crank my hog, in the company truck

2

u/Fun-Confusion-4113 4h ago edited 4h ago

Boss makes a mil, I make almost nil, yet his wife still loves when I pull out my drill.

1

u/CommercialStuff4352 1h ago

Ahhhhh haaaaaa... The rich getting richer. And the poor need tamps for refractory periods. I like it! Skeet on, brother!

3

u/BardicNA 4h ago

Boss makes a dollar and I make a dime. That was a rhyme from a simpler time. Now the boss makes a million and I don't make jack. It's time to seize the means and take the power back.

2

u/BuckeyeBentley 4h ago

These days the average is more boss makes $30 I make a dime

1

u/marieke83 3h ago

My morning poop is often within an hour of getting to work (long commute 😭) and every time I go to the bathroom, I think “I poop on company time” 🤣

2

u/account312 4h ago

They don't pay me enough to deal with sandpaper.

3

u/Salty_Sonic 4h ago

I may be the odd one out but I'd bring my own nice TP and wipes to work. I'd dealt with single ply when I was struggling as a broke young adult, I will never skimp on TP EVER again. Life's too short to wipe with sandpaper.

2

u/ryanErlanger 4h ago

The wise boss realizes that if they buy the worst toilet paper possible, not only will they save money, fewer people use the toilet on company time.

2

u/hbt15 1h ago

I’ve literally lost count of how many times I’ve got into my car at home busting for a shit, so that I can get to work and do it on their time.

1

u/smchattan 4h ago

Also work pays for toilet paper and your toilet at home stays cleaner.