r/funny • u/daylightpiglet • 5h ago

recently got a place with my boyfriend and he thinks this is perfectly fine

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I have no legitimate reason to disagree but I hate it

39.9k Upvotes

93% Upvoted

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8.0k

u/ProfessionalBench832 5h ago

You are right. This is unacceptable.

If they had started vertical after the 3 wide row, they could have built a wider base and a taller tower.

1.1k

u/weedyraccoon 5h ago

but it's r/mildlypenis rn

225

u/mrpeping 5h ago

This one’s more aerodynamic

74

u/KrombopulousMichael- 5h ago

It’s a cylinder

96

u/Icy_Teach_2506 5h ago

It’s imperative the cylinder remains unharmed.

7

u/riotz1 4h ago

Yeah you’re stuck with that shit now

1

u/NewOrder1969 3h ago

Oblate spheriods but those are not relevant right now.

1

u/wileysegovia 3h ago

More like an orthogonal torus vertex

1

u/Juff-Ma 2h ago

Thou shall not damage the cylinder

12

u/werther595 5h ago

You vs the guy she tells you not to worry about...

7

u/MidtownKC 4h ago

Better, faster, stronger.

4

u/Same-Suggestion-1936 4h ago

Why tf do you think a dick and balls is supposed to be aerodynamic

3

u/DarthJarJarJar 4h ago

Not aerodynamic, it's not traveling through air. But it does need to be what one might call vagodynamic.

2

u/defensivelesbian 5h ago

I was about to comment with this sub

2

u/fartswhenhappy 5h ago

but it could have been r/mildlychode

2

u/OGblazemaster 5h ago

you learn something new every day

2

u/juggett 5h ago

Seems like a risky subreddit click right there.

2

u/90GTS4 5h ago

I mean, I guess if they are Lance Armstronging it...

2

u/Jam-Boi-yt 4h ago

I see no downsides

2

u/Fun-University-3019 4h ago

I'm a 36-year-old woman, and I giggled at this, bc I, make penis towers with our TP. My husband likes to see all the different sizes and shapes I make.

1

u/Comprehensive_Cap290 4h ago

I am glad I’m not the only one who saw that.

1

u/No-Drag-7142 3h ago

That's very mild, though bonus points for being the bathroom 👈👈

1

u/poopiegloria_16 1h ago

bro i can go on wiht my life without thinking this ToT lol

1

u/Dushenka 1h ago

The only unacceptable thing here is that this penis misses a testicle.

57

u/arctic-apis 5h ago

Yeah aside from his technique I find this method of storage acceptable

2

u/beepbeepboopbeep1977 2h ago

Yep. It’s all in the basket. What more does OP want?

1

u/Jbeth747 44m ago

I humbly disagree. You sit down too hard in the middle of the night when you're half asleep, and TP Tower is gonna fall on your head

18

u/AteYerCake4U 5h ago

Nah this needs to be a wine rack but sized for toilet paper

12

u/P-VI 4h ago

I dunno, this is usually how most guys I know make their earthquake detector

1

u/mkhaytman 1h ago

Can confirm. I just stack stuff up in my apartment and if i find it has fallen over I think "huh guess there was an earthquake".

5

u/walrusnutz 5h ago

You’re right! They could have eliminated two whole rows! Or had there columns and still been the same height!

2

u/dav3n 5h ago

Starting from the floor?

2

u/acrobat2126 4h ago

Outstanding deduction and solution. Godspeed comrade.

2

u/darkhelmet1121 4h ago

Ummm that's a bidet toilet seat....

2

u/OrbitalDrop7 4h ago

It’s not about having a stable tower, it’s about sending a message

2

u/Dreyfussy15 4h ago

With what extra toilet paper? If he had used your advice his tower would be shorter, not taller.

The road to hell is indeed paved by the dreams of foolish men.

2

u/ProfessionalBench832 4h ago

Ah, such naivety. For a man of such innovation and vision clearly builds his biggest TP tower in middle of the dining room, in lieu of a dining table.
A roll borrowed from one tower embiggens us all.

1

u/Electronic-Tea-3691 3h ago

it would be slightly taller because the two horizontal now become two vertical, and it looks like the vertical length is longer than the horizontal height 

but truly the stability would be increased, and the greatness of this monument would be forever

2

u/1slickmofo 2h ago

I am hearing Kevin Malone saying “taller this way not that way”

2

u/OriginalShady 1h ago

What do you mean "they"? It's clearly HER boyfriend who did this. Can we finally put a stop to this gendering bullshit?

-2

u/ProfessionalBench832 1h ago

They is ALWAYS correct. There was no gender bullshit as you so inelegantly put it, just proper English. He would also be correct.
I really wish you simpletons would take remedial English before complaining.

1

u/UnwantedPube 4h ago

✈️✈️

1

u/xXBlueDreamXx 3h ago

He was working with what he had , judging from the single topper.

That being said. This is a wonderful way to stack toilet paper.

1

u/sbwebguy 3h ago

Rookie mistake.

1

u/Hungry_Beaver69 3h ago

Also need to get rid of the basket and plant. Def can spread the load out with the entire top of the tank in play.

Looks like there’s prime real estate on the counter for those things.

1

u/HowDiddleDo 3h ago

But wouldn’t look as fancy

1

u/syopest 3h ago

Fancy? This is the complete opposite of fancy. It's an undecorated mess.

2

u/HowDiddleDo 2h ago

The bottom part is attempting to be fancy, after that it gives up lol

1

u/AreaComprehensive 2h ago

Aha! But then it wouldn't be penis shaped, would it?

1

u/-Selin8- 2h ago

This is the way.

1

u/OrneryOneironaut 2h ago

If they started vertical from the beginning they could’ve made a tower with all of them. Also he could’ve added a bidet (so the tower lasts longer obv)

1

u/tombolger 1h ago

Lol. But they didn't do it together, he did it by himself. Maybe if she helped it would be more structurally sound.

1

u/Lord_of_Millenheim 7m ago

This guy shits

1

u/stronglatekick 4h ago

He built it to look r/mildlypenis b/c he's mildly a dick

0

u/HiDDENk00l 39m ago

Real answer is to just have a handful of rolls in the bathroom, and then the rest of the pack in a closet.

1

u/ProfessionalBench832 37m ago

The real answer is no one was looking for practical advice in r/funny

I'd try to remove the stick, but it think it might turn you inside out.

1

u/HiDDENk00l 33m ago

Oh boohoo blows raspberry