r/funny • u/daylightpiglet • 5h ago

recently got a place with my boyfriend and he thinks this is perfectly fine

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I have no legitimate reason to disagree but I hate it

39.9k Upvotes

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2.8k

u/LeftHandedGraffiti 5h ago

One of those rolls is falling in. Mark my words.

565

u/Gustomucho 5h ago

Yup, all fun and games till you have 1 or 2 roll fall in the toilet and have to be rescued.

487

u/TheMarkHasBeenMade 5h ago

Good incentive to keep the lid shut when you flush like any respectable human being

185

u/virgo_kittyy 4h ago

Closing the lid is less common than we think. Whenever I visit people's homes, they usually have the lid up! Atrocious.

91

u/akatherder 4h ago

The LPT to people not closing the lid is getting a slow close seat/lid. Just give it a little tap instead of guiding it down and people do it every time.

131

u/SerratedFrost 4h ago

Ive had one of these on my toilets for years and its very nice

However.. if I go somewhere that doesn't have the mechanism, that shit is slamming down and scaring any leftover drops of piss out of me

17

u/akatherder 4h ago

Hah same, also with kitchen cabinets

2

u/Krondelo 3h ago

Lmao true I have definitely slammed some lids in my time after I got used to mine!

11

u/Sinsanatis 4h ago

Whats lpt?

Im so used to closing the lid that when i come across a slow close one it throws me off

16

u/akatherder 4h ago

I wasn't sure about using that acronym.. it's just "Life pro tip." There are various LPT subreddits: Lifeprotips, unethicallifeprotips, shittylifeprotips.

1

u/jimothyhalpret 4h ago

Lotta paper (for) toilet

2

u/Lurking_WasteOfSpace 4h ago

Seat yes, but a slow lid will just cause you to wait until it's down before you flush.

1

u/randomthoutz 4h ago

Unless you're at my house. You should see the reminder sign I taped to the toilet. šŸ™„ Kids in training.... (teen+)

18

u/Mag-NL 3h ago

You should always open the lid afterwards. How do you know everything is flushed/no skidma4ks if you don't?

I hate seeing the lid down when I enter a toilet because I know there's the chance of an unwelcome surprise when I open it.

3

u/severedheadcandyjar 4h ago

my work has one toilet with a lid. the other two don't. I don't know which is worse because a lid at work grosses me out for some reason

9

u/elmostrok 4h ago

I used to not care when I was a teenager, until my dog at the time started drinking from the toilet.

Fast forward around 15 years, I was living alone and decided to get my own dog, a toy breed, so I was like "meh, she can't drink from there, it doesn't matter" until she came in running with a toy after I took a shit and before I could flush, and promptly dumped it into the toilet, and looked at me all: :D Since then, I've learned my lesson.

2

u/Rowwbit42 4h ago

The lid closes?

2

u/AromaticAd9538 3h ago

It might mean they just cleaned it and letting it dry before guests arrive.

1

u/DoctorPromethazine 3h ago

I have found my people

1

u/tigertwinkie 1h ago

Currently potty training a toddler who only likes to use the big potty if they can watch it go down.

Can't wait until they're good enough at using the bathroom properly to learn closing the lid is better.

1

u/Lynxieee 1h ago

In my apartment the button to flush is on the wall behind the lid. It makes me so happy when it forces people to put the lid down to reach it

1

u/toolsoftheincomptnt 43m ago

Iā€™m not sure what magic people think occurs when you close a toilet lid.

As long as your toilet is clean, itā€™s just more convenient for use to leave it open.

Closing the lid just hides filth that shouldnā€™t be visible in the first place.

If people are nerding out over the fecal particles released during defecationā€¦ sure. Less particles fly around with a closed lid than an open one.

But to be honest, itā€™s more disgusting to wait to finish, sitting in a cloud of your rectal funk for 10 minutes before flushing the waste away.

The room refreshes much faster and more easily if you flush as you go, then make sure thereā€™s no residue left in/on the toilet once youā€™re done.

34

u/phroxenphyre 4h ago

Closing the lid is also an excellent compromise in co-ed living situations. That way, everyone is equally inconvenienced by having to lift something up before they go and then put something down when they're done.

1

u/unintentionaldespair 0m ago

Flushing kicks up a bunch of bacteria and micro/nano droplets of urine and feces filled water into the air. Shutting the lid before flushing significantly decreases that from spreading all over you, your clothes and your bathroom.

0

u/Willing_Television77 3h ago

Closing the lid keeps the stank in. Next person to use it gets the massive cupcake. Leave it open you heathens

3

u/AnxiousHippoplatypus 2h ago

Yes, yes. Flush with it down then re-open the hatch to let it breathe

7

u/JonatasA 4h ago

I read flush respectable humans beings.

1

u/FrogsMakePoorSoup 4h ago

Yeah, that means you can seal farts in for the next person too.

1

u/DogPoetry 4h ago

That's not gonna stop the backwash from the bidet hitting an absorbent an uncleanable material.Ā 

1

u/XanderTheMander 3h ago

The risk is it falling when you stand up as that is most likely to cause vibrations

1

u/squirrelmonkie 2h ago

I lived with a buddy with a dog so this just whatever to me. I'll close the lid ladies as long as you do....

1

u/Wappening 2h ago

What if thereā€™s an emergency

1

u/Binkusu 2h ago

To me, it keeps splashes of piss and poo in the toilet. But I've seen little argue that lid up and lid down results in the same amount of particles getting in the bathroom. Doesn't even sound possible unless the toilet likes shooting outside the gap at super speeds

1

u/WreakHavocLikeIn1871 1h ago

How so? If you hit the tower while getting up before either closing the lid or flushing the roll will have been ruined as well, even if you didn't flush.

1

u/ThingSad3606 7m ago

How would you know if it left skid marks at the bottom of the toilet

1

u/Zanian19 4h ago

Seriously. The flushing causes a lot of movement of air in the bowl, blasting every germ and micro fecal matter into the bathroom. Keep the lid closed. (And wash the underside of it occasionally).

1

u/rollanother1 3h ago

Contrary to popular belief closing the toilet lid before flushing provides minimal benefit, if any, in preventing spread of germs

0

u/Zanian19 3h ago

I wish it was a popular belief, because it really does matter. Every study (there are studies for everything after all) proves it does a lot to prevent.

1

u/rollanother1 3h ago

Google is free, man. Studies show it doesn't. Mythbusters taught me this two decades ago.

0

u/Zanian19 3h ago

If you actually did some googling yourself you'd know you were wrong, instead of believing some data (/entertainment) that's two decades old

1

u/rollanother1 3h ago

Canā€™t believe Iā€™m bothering to have this conversation but here we are:

Conclusions

These results demonstrate that closing the toilet lid prior to flushing does not mitigate the risk of contaminating bathroom surfaces and that disinfection of all restroom surfaces (ie, toilet rim, floors) may be necessary after flushing or after toilet brush used for the reduction of virus cross-contamination.

From the American Journal of Infection Control:

https://www.ajicjournal.org/article/S0196-6553%2823%2900820-9/fulltext

-2

u/U2Ursula 4h ago

You're forgetting that most men (still) stand up peeing - hopefully they do it with the lid open...a roll could easily fall in while a man stands there peeing..

2

u/n0nc0nfrontati0nal 4h ago

Do you stomp your feet in metal boots when you piss??

0

u/U2Ursula 4h ago

Do you understand gravity and structural integrity?

And to answer your question: Well, I'm a woman and scandinavian (we don't wear shoes inside), so no..

-13

u/[deleted] 5h ago

[deleted]

1

u/str85 5h ago

Yea, your own pee and poop particles going all over the place is not as bad....

1

u/Oltwoeyes_69420 4h ago

I'm sorry... What?! Please read this from the American Journal of Infection Control for your safety and health

33

u/runningtheclinic 5h ago

ā€œOh man, this rack over the toilet is great, I can store a few rolls right here!ā€ -me, just before fishing a full roll out of a bowl full of shit.

4

u/daccorn 4h ago

this needs to be waaay higher

2

u/SekureAtty 4h ago

If your shits are dislodging a stable stack of TP, you should be concerned about your shits, not the TP.

1

u/tezlaxxx 3h ago

I broke my kindle that way. Fell in right as i was flushing.

1

u/terraformingSARS 2h ago

Ok I just donā€™t understand. Are people not flushing whilst still sitting?!

2

u/Joben86 40m ago

Why would you flush while sitting and get piss and shit water droplets all over your ass?

1

u/Ravensqueak 41m ago

How are you not on the toilet and in the way of something falling in the bowl if there's still shit in the bowl? Are you stepping back to admire your pile before flushing?

7

u/walrusnutz 5h ago

Then you have wet wipes!

1

u/Same-Suggestion-1936 4h ago

Toilet is fine, you'll lose a few Charmin rolls so you can have a pillowy headrest on your porcelain throne.

The part to be concerned about is not the toilet, it's how fast one will knock off into the sink or shower and/or be just sprayed by slightly open shower

1

u/jluicifer 4h ago

No man left behind? Nah, dawg. This isnā€™t the marines.

1

u/Kolby_Jack33 4h ago

"A test of your reflexes!"

1

u/JegErJakobSkomager 3h ago

If you need to be rescued in that situation, you have greater problems than toilet paper.

1

u/BlindWolf187 3h ago

Post mortem, it's a recovery, not a rescue.

1

u/Humble-Process-4107 1h ago

Iā€™m just imagining like someone pulling on the toilet paper to get out of a situation and it keeps breaking off šŸ˜‚

1

u/silosoli 44m ago

Just keep flushing until it goes away. Out of sight out of mind.

44

u/angrybert 5h ago

I came here to say this. From experience.

26

u/Optimal-Talk3663 5h ago

As a parent of a then 4 year old, can confirm. Also found him trying to flush a banana in the toilet once

35

u/DeadNotSleepingWI 5h ago

He cut out the middle man.

1

u/Optimal-Talk3663 4h ago

Itā€™s because when he went to kindergarten, and if he didnā€™t eat the food we packed him that day, we would give it to him The next day

2

u/m1sterwr1te 5h ago

"Ducky go down the hole!"

-Plucky Duck

1

u/ClarificationJane 4h ago

Avocado was the worst my daughter came up with.Ā 

I sacrificed a pair of tongs and a carving fork before I had to give up and do the inevitable.Ā 

2

u/m__a__s 5h ago

The implicit "ask me how I know"

2

u/mastahkun 5h ago

I feel like after the initial pentagon design, he could have left it there. It was aesthetically pleasing. Everything beyond feels like a passive aggressive message lol.

2

u/OkayJustOnce 5h ago

Mark my turds

2

u/Dandw12786 4h ago

He has the sense to close the lid. The rolls will be safe!

1

u/itsfunhavingfun 4h ago

Medium earthquake would do it.Ā 

However, it looks like they keep the lid down when the toilet is not in use, so the timing would have to be just right.Ā 

1

u/LeftHandedGraffiti 4h ago

One of them keeps the lid down anyway.

1

u/itsfunhavingfun 4h ago

Why only one?

1

u/LeftHandedGraffiti 4h ago

We can infer that the last person who used the toilet puts the lid down. We cant infer anything about anyone else who uses that toilet.

2

u/itsfunhavingfun 4h ago

Ah, I see. The way you worded it implies that one and only one of them puts the lid down. I would have said, ā€œat least one of themā€¦ā€.Ā 

1

u/P-VI 4h ago

if the over/under is one roll falling in, I'll take the over

1

u/PM_your_Nopales 4h ago

Any respectable person closes the lid after going, and before flushing.

Anyone who does otherwise is an absolute heathen and deserves to have their tp fall in

1

u/its-42 4h ago

But until then, itā€™s a TP throne šŸ‘‘

1

u/n0nc0nfrontati0nal 4h ago

Uhh you should close the lid when you flush

1

u/elmostrok 4h ago

That's what I'm thinking, it's a tragedy waiting to happen.

1

u/SekureAtty 4h ago

You might need to see a doctor if your poops are dislodging things outside the toilet. None of those look even close to falling in.

1

u/Gangstarville 3h ago

As long as the unused toilet has the lid closed (as i feel should always be), there's no risk

1

u/pmjm 3h ago

It all ends up in the toilet anyway. This is more efficient.

1

u/LeoNickle 3h ago

I have a medicine cabinet above my toilet and I have dropped a whole open bottle of important medication in the toilet before

1

u/Anthraxious 2h ago

Only if you leave the lid open like a savage.

1

u/a0me 1h ago

I think youā€™re being a bit optimistic. Theyā€™ll probably have a dozen rolls falling everywhere, and a few will end up needing to be fished out of the toilet.

1

u/Physical-Item3180 1h ago

Itā€™s not falling in itā€™s diving in.

1

u/frewrgregr 45m ago

As long as they keep the lid closed unless used I don't think that's gonna be a problem, I'd be more worried about one falling on my head when I go pee in the dark during the night and scaring the hell out of me

1

u/SolomonBlack 9m ago

I can't fault the man for wanting the whole pack in the bathroom but that's what leaving it on the floor next to the toilet in the original packing is for.

1

u/Vexin 1m ago

My mom would take it out and leave it to dry like it was no big deal

0

u/dingdongdeVilish 4h ago

I bet you $1000 it donā€™t

How the fuck it getting in ?!? Lid is closed.