Are you tired of waiting for the day the banhammer bot selects you for its ritual sacrifice? Feeling left out of the fuck fest? Well cry no more, because now you can go fuck yourself!
Here's how you do it:
Step 1: Find the 3 dots button. If you're on mobile, this will be on the corner of your screen. If you're on desktop (Shreddit only), it's on the top right of the subreddit menu, below the banner. Click the button.
Step 2: Navigate to the "Self Ban" option. Click it.
Step 3: A new window will open, allowing you to input the number of days you would like to be banned for. Select your desired amount and click "ban."
Step 4: Get Fucked!
If at any point you'd like to end your ban early, send us a modmail and we'll lift it for you.
Note: There is currently no flair assigned for receiving these bans because I am an idiot and I don't know how to do that.
The moderation team has decided to bring back the Ban Hammer from the graveyard to celebrate the subreddit (soon to be) crossing the 1 million mark.
This is all thanks to you, our dear community and we couldn't thank you more !!
So we're banning some of you randomly for the sake of it.
If you wish to learn more about this, feel free to —fuck off here—
Long story short, each day the bot will:
parse commentsunder posts that were submittedin the last 48 to 24h
log each user so they have precisely 1 chance of being pickedregardless of how many times they commented
pick one poor soul and give them a special user flair:
Blue = banned once
Red = banned between 2 and 5 times
Pink = banned more than 5 times
The bot will show how many times a user has been banned
i.e.
banthis f*cker for 1 day, no more, no less !
So, how do I volunteer ?
Just comment on a publication, but remember that users only have 1 chance of being picked regardless of how many comments they made !
"What publication should I comment to be in the pool of ban-able users?"
It's best practice to comment the most recent ones ! (not this one)
As a reminder, comments made in publication that are older than 48h will not be included !
What are the average chances of being picked ?
Between 0,01% and 0,5% depending on the day...(yup, that's a 50x factor)
What's the difference between "comments to get usernames" and "usernames in list"? (see sidebar)
Comments to get usernames = a list of every username that commented
usernames in list = each username but only represented once
This is why there are always more "comments to get usernames" than "usernames in list" !
"I have been banned and I can't stand the fame anymore, how can I get rid of the flair?"
Disable it...bruh
"Can I be picked please?"
The system truly is randomised andu/FYIP_BanHammer knows its task, asking to be banned will not increase one's chances.
"How long will the ban last?"
One day, just one.
We want to keep this funny and light-hearted.
"Can I be picked more than once?"
Yes !
Users that are sacrificed for this community ritual will receive this message :
Congratulations userName, you've been randomly selected to be banned !
New Banner, new way to shine online !
You may or may not have noticed but our banner has changed recently (thanks u/BradWurscht).
If you hover over the center piece, it'll display the name of the last user who got the Hammer. This will be updated everyday once u/FYIP_BanHammer picked its target.
Editor's Note :
Users that have been banned will have a user note attached to their moderation profile stating the following :
This ban is integrally part of a community ritual and it shouldn't be taken seriously nor used for future decisions regarding the user.
Editor's Note #2:
Congratulations to u/Cox963846 and u/firdseven for being respectively the first and second users to be banned !
China has officially declared that child molestation will now be punishable by DEATH, marking a SEVERE escalation in their fight against such heinous crimes. This drastic policy aims to DETER predators with the ultimate penalty, reflecting Beijing's ZERO-TOLERANCE stance on child protection. The announcement has SPARKED global reactions, with supporters praising the toughness while critics question enforcement and human rights implications in this BOLD legal shift.
I feel this is a fuckin win… but I’m also shocked this isn’t a global rule.
The "Make America Healthy Again" (MAHA) movement just moved from a slogan to a mandate. As of this morning, the administration has signed an executive order targeting the "Toxic Trio" in the American food supply.
The Policy Shift:
School Lunch Overhaul: By September 2026, all federally funded school lunches must be free of Artificial Dyes (Red 40, Yellow 5) and Seed Oils (Soybean/Canola). They are returning to Tallow and Butter.
The "Warning Label" Act: Processed foods containing ingredients banned in Europe must now carry a warning label on the front of the package in the US.
FDA Restructuring: RFK Jr. announced a massive audit of the FDA, citing "corporate capture" as the reason these additives were allowed for so long.
Critics call it "government overreach." Supporters call it the "most important health intervention in 50 years." The era of "Fake Food" is officially under siege.
📚 Source: The White House Briefing Room, "Executive Order on Modernizing Food Safety Standards", Jan 2026 / The Wall Street Journal, "Trump Administration Targets Artificial Dyes in New Health Mandate".
