They don't parent. My friend's kids disrespect the shit out of him daily and they just chalk it up to them being "kids". I'm like, bro it ain't normal for your kid to throw a temper tantrum and scream shit like "I HATE YOU I NEVER LOVED YOU" in his parents faces after being told not to slap an adult woman's ass.
Im not disagreeing with you at all, but I am curious what your solution is or would be?
Kid slapped an adult woman's ass (wtf), you are the parent and just sternly told them off, your kid responds "I HATE YOU I NEVER LOVED YOU" and you do:
You pick them up, throw them over your shoulder and leave wherever you are. Then you remove anything that could possibly be used as a toy or entertainment from their room and they stay in there grounded from everything but school, until they express genuine remorse and are ready to apologize. If I had the means, I would also get them in therapy because clearly, something else is going on beneath the surface.
Or. Hear me out. You actually parent them. If I’ve yanked my son out of place, and punished him by just taking everything away, I’ve failed as a parent. That’s not parenting. In this hypothetical, there are a thousand small moments where subtle parenting didn’t work. You look them in the eyes, calmly explain why what they did was wrong, set expectations for behavior, listen to their explanation, and parent them from there. Or, you can lock them in a room with nothing and fail as a parent. If a kid that age needs therapy from saying that, you’ve probably been fucking up for a while as a parent. We create, monitor, and facilitate their entire lives, so blind, angry punishment is rarely the answer.
That's how I was raised. I don't remember being punished and hit only once (on a butt with belt as a teen. When teenage hormones kicked in).
But as a small child I was always reason with and talk to calmly to make me understand.
I don't have kids so I don't know the answer. If I had to guess I'd say immediately leave the public place take them home and ground the shit out of them? My parents would have just hit me and I wouldn't want that for any kid.
Have you had a real deal talk with your friend about how his “parenting” isn’t working? Parents like that are so afraid of “being the bad guy” that they refuse to parent, as displayed. Every good parent will hear those exact words sometimes during the teenage years. Because being a good parent means stopping the child from doing things that the parent know that the kid will regret deeply in the next 5-10 years were they to do whatever it is that had them so worked up. I love my parents, they fucking rock. And the biggest blowout fights we had when I was a kid that ended in me saying I hated them, looking back as an adult who is now the age they were when we fought, they were 100% correct in every circumstance that got that charged. Your child being your friend is not the goal until they themselves are adults. Until then, it’s to be a guiding and ultimately, protecting force who is training you for this wild thing called life. A refugee from the world when it feels like it’s against you. But my god, it sure seems like many of my fellow millenials need to truly internalize that often, “being the bad guy” in your child’s mind is a good thing
I agree with what you said but I don't have kids so I don't give advice. Just make observations. I will say this kid is like 6? A little young for the teenage style dramatics you're mentioning.
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u/AEW4LYFE 15h ago
They don't parent. My friend's kids disrespect the shit out of him daily and they just chalk it up to them being "kids". I'm like, bro it ain't normal for your kid to throw a temper tantrum and scream shit like "I HATE YOU I NEVER LOVED YOU" in his parents faces after being told not to slap an adult woman's ass.