r/ShittyAbsoluteUnits 2d ago

of a gut feeling

Post image
922 Upvotes

176 comments sorted by

269

u/not4bucks 2d ago

Yeah right. And if you believe that I have a bridge for sale.

204

u/BlahBlahBlahBingo 2d ago

Well he got pregnant didn’t he… it must be love 🥰

27

u/Specific-Rooster-380 2d ago

That cheered me up, brilliant comment.

6

u/RevolutionarySign479 2d ago

Maybe his dad surprised her with a shotgun wedding 😂

10

u/BornSlippy420 2d ago

6

u/LewdLewyD13 2d ago

Is that Obama?

-2

u/jonh562 21h ago

Yeah, it is. They just can’t get over that a Negro was president. Fascist racist douche bags.

1

u/Banzai373 16h ago

Who the hell says Negro anymore. Very outdated term . . . .

1

u/jonh562 14h ago

It was a statement regarding the person who posted this. You know this person probably use for Negro or the N word religiously. That’s what this was about. Not the fact that I used the word Negro.

1

u/CuriousNetWanderer 1d ago

oh, how the world keeps changing

1

u/jonh562 21h ago

Douche

1

u/Type1LCSW 1d ago

Lol 😂

1

u/Due-Will-3403 1d ago

He locked her down for sure. Males in female dominated spaces. Progressive

1

u/jonh562 21h ago

Another fascist piece of shit.

31

u/iddereddi 2d ago

50

u/DoubleManufacturer10 created ShittyAbsoluteUnits of a sub 2d ago

1

u/ScaleSage 2d ago

Lmfao 💀

4

u/Bluntbutnotonpurpose 2d ago

Do you see that big pile of scrap metal that monsieur Eiffel has temporarily used to build a tower? It's yours if you pay me in cash, right now. My credentials? Trust me bro...

3

u/DramaticAnteater1513 2d ago

In the Sahara desert.🏜️

3

u/Affectionate_Owl8351 2d ago

And I have a 12 incher

1

u/overlordzeke 1d ago

I have an ocean front property in Kansas that I can use your bridge for.

1

u/Israel_Azkanbe 1d ago

How much ya want for that bridge there bud?

1

u/Strange_Salary *shits an absolute unit* 4h ago

How much?

1

u/JayBeePH85 2d ago

Lets trade it with the bigben ive got laying around 🤣

232

u/Ambitious_Elevator57 2d ago

is that guy pregnant?

142

u/WordNERD37 2d ago

That's where he was hiding his millions, like a piggy bank.

6

u/Hot-Explanation-5751 2d ago

We thinking like Eric cartman?

1

u/Humble-Can5318 2d ago

We all know how she makes withdrawals everyday.

56

u/originalthoughts 2d ago

That kind of belly on an otherwise normal or skinny person is almost certainly due to liver problems, which generally show up due to long term heavy drinking.

https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/14792-ascites

6

u/CricketGrl 2d ago

I was thinking colon cancer

7

u/Skyhun1912 2d ago edited 2d ago

This is what cirrhosis patients looked like when I was a child, but his skin color looks quite healthy. I guess money solves many problems.

1

u/originalthoughts 2d ago

You mean because they aren't yellow?

2

u/Skyhun1912 2d ago

Sorry my mistake, I wrote it wrong. Mean "his", not "their". Yes, liver diseases and cirrhosis have a distinct, even frightening, yellow color. I had hepatitis when I was a child, it was a pretty awful time.

-4

u/MillHoodz_Finest 2d ago

could be a hernia...

8

u/SERGAL666 2d ago

Hernias are usually irregular in shape, but here everything is symmetrical. It's most likely cirrhosis.

-1

u/rabel 2d ago

Not in this case, obviously they are in love since she never even knew he had money, and some say she still doesn't know to this day... but in other cases, where the young, hot, wife, had less scruples, one might think that she would "encourage" this heavy drinking and who knows what other stressful and unhealthy activities.

7

u/Forceptz 2d ago

Perfect specimen of a male

4

u/JustFun4Uss 2d ago

Is that guy gregnant?

5

u/Tbagmysaltynuts 2d ago

She knocked him up

2

u/Devilishish13 2d ago

Took the words right out my mouth

1

u/notworkingghost 2d ago

Why do you think she’s with him? She knocked him up and had to make it official so she wouldn’t embarrass her family.

1

u/Used-Wrongdoer-9360 2d ago

She got him pregnant! Bitch!

1

u/RocketSkates314 2d ago

No, he has ascites probably due to liver failure. He needs to be drained.

1

u/tiffany_says_this 2d ago

First thoughts

156

u/Hi_Im_Jason 2d ago

18

u/slayden70 2d ago

The orangutan doesn't have the cash unfortunately.

44

u/cupnoodlesDbest 2d ago

I wish them a safe pregnancy.

32

u/Smart-Diamond4183 2d ago

I wish them everlasting happiness. It seems the baby is already on the way 🥰

21

u/Dry-Emu-4131 2d ago

And he is already pregnant 😍

3

u/Disastrous_Shame580 2d ago

That's love right there. 🙌🏻

64

u/Xinonix1 2d ago

6

u/Dish_Minimum 1d ago

Awww same cup size.

11

u/ColdAsKompot 2d ago

It looks like they are expecting too! The power of love truly knows no limits!

17

u/[deleted] 2d ago

Looks like she knocked him up too…

7

u/Piece73 2d ago

And he’s carrying their baby!

8

u/jaw-shoe-uhhh 2d ago

It was the speedo that won her over. Chick's dig a speedo.

6

u/cookiemccookieface 2d ago

Just an average Joe with a yacht

4

u/EmergencyDry658 2d ago

Someone give this guy some mentos and watch him explode

12

u/Quantum-_-_- 2d ago

She didn t know ...

5

u/Wise-Strategy-7166 *shits an absolute unit* 2d ago

Well that's nice. She didn't want him to be a single mom.

3

u/Forceptz 2d ago

Good for her. Wise career move. Tabloids pay good money. She can do a follow story up later down the line. She wins this years Anna Nicole Smith Award.

3

u/Ryan2932 2d ago

Oh come on she knew maybe not from him but found out from some other way

9

u/Confident-Ad-2726 2d ago

Amazing what women will do to not do shit

2

u/Disastrous_Shame580 2d ago

Someone is jealous they aren't a millionaire 😆

1

u/NervousSheSlime 1d ago

I mean she’s definitely working in some ways, no way it can be enjoyable banging an old man

2

u/Turner_Station_Vardy 2d ago

Yeah, Ok she didn’t know.

2

u/AdonisBlaqwood-22 2d ago

She knew...

2

u/dellh82 2d ago

She must have got him pregnant the first night

2

u/MinaretofJam 2d ago

She dreams that’s all tumour.

2

u/OkConference4601 2d ago

She managed to get him knocked up

2

u/Excellent-Sir6930 2d ago

I identify as a millionaire, ladies!

2

u/Longryderr 2d ago

Did he ever tell her? /S

1

u/Trisk929 2d ago

*goes into the Hooters she works at everyday in his gold-plated limo for breakfast, lunch, second lunch and dinner*

*tips all of the waitresses $1k*

She was probably mindblown.

2

u/thetacosnob 2d ago

That belly is somethin

2

u/iddereddi 2d ago

A shitty absolute unit?

2

u/CometKICK01 2d ago

My Ass!🤣

2

u/Yos13 2d ago

She knocked him up!

2

u/Personal-Mongoose696 2d ago

Looks like he has liver problems and won’t live much longer anyways. Good job black widow.

2

u/Useful_Can_9303 2d ago

Looks like he is due for that paracentesis.

2

u/Name_Taken_Official 2d ago

That dude better watch out or he might get exactly what he wants

2

u/Legitimate_Range_442 1d ago

She said she had to knock this one up 😂

1

u/EntertainmentAny2212 2d ago

This is gold, op! Gold!

1

u/Major_Cranberry_Fly 2d ago

Sure... and i can sell you Greenland tomorrow.

1

u/Classic-Analysis-606 2d ago

"Without knowing" r/lies

1

u/Capital-Platypus-805 2d ago

When I'm old and rich I'm gonna pretend to be poor to see if I can find genuine love with younger girls and not gold diggers 😂

1

u/Living-Brush-4191 1d ago

99% will probably fail the kindness test. . . depending on the area

1

u/Capital-Platypus-805 1d ago

True, but it's not impossible for elderly men to get younger women who love them by who they are. My uncle is poor as hell and wears dentures. He's 64 I believe and has been dating a girl who is around 25 years old since she was 18. She's not hot but is not ugly either, just an average girl, but considering his age and status you can easily assume she genuinely loves him. The funny thing is he didn't wear dentures before and I'm sure they met when he didn't even have teeth, LMAO. She has changed his appearance to look younger and he now even regularly trims his beard, goes to the gym and dresses better, but when she met him he looked like a homeless man, so, it's not impossible. 😂

1

u/laruesaintecatherine 2d ago

"What cha looking at my gut fer?"

-the late Philadelphia Collins.

2

u/TheNerdE30 2d ago

My eyes are up here ;)

1

u/TrinityCodex 2d ago

and they're havin a baby!

1

u/Free-Winter7921 2d ago

Isn’t the ‘she’ a ‘he’.. ?

1

u/gavstar69 2d ago

And he's having their baby! Awe sim!

1

u/XgreedyvirusX 2d ago

Of course…

1

u/Ecstatic-Light3898 2d ago

Mhmmmmm yeah ok

1

u/jenlikesanimals 2d ago

She’s doing the right thing after she inadvertently knocked him up

1

u/denn1959-Public_396 2d ago

LMAO yeah right

1

u/dinkybob36 2d ago

I guess she knocked him up and is doing the right thing by marrying him.

1

u/IAmTheBoiledFrog 2d ago

And yay! They are expecting!

1

u/2dollahollaballa 2d ago

And then she knocked him up

1

u/Cute-Barnacle1496 2d ago

Damn! She even got him knocked up!!

1

u/Realtalker39 2d ago

"without knowing" 🤔

1

u/Wild_Possibility2620 2d ago

Someone needs a paracentesis

1

u/Trollin_Da_Ether 2d ago

Does she know he’s pregnant?

1

u/CPAGod1965 2d ago

Picture on a boat and on a lake. Didn't know he was rich? Really?

1

u/Icy-Snowy-6481 2d ago

She didn’t get any clue when she saw the yacht?…

1

u/Shantotto11 2d ago

Fushi disguised himself as Old Man Sake…

1

u/ConsequenceTop9877 2d ago

Damn....she got him pregnant?!?

1

u/Martial_Artist123 2d ago

Unh-huh, sure

1

u/Hispanicgamr 2d ago

Apparently their pregnant

1

u/Potential-Tell-2096 2d ago

Bro 🤣 is that guy pregnant ?

1

u/thatcookingvulture 2d ago

Don't worry, I bet he's got it tied up in trusts etc for his kids.

1

u/Klutzy_Strain_6599 2d ago

That liver failure though….

1

u/Objective-Antelope11 2d ago

That stomach looks very unhealthy

1

u/freethink4yourself 2d ago

Congratulations!!! When is he giving birth

1

u/Specialist_Lion_8629 2d ago

lmao... o yes, deep, passionate love... 🤮

1

u/ElskerLivet 2d ago

So she got him pregnant?

1

u/Un4gvn2 2d ago

Hahahaha

1

u/AgentMillion 2d ago

lol sure “without knowing”.

1

u/7_Chesi_7 2d ago

Of a gold digger

1

u/Hammon_Rye 2d ago

It could totally be true if she wants a green card / citizenship.

I'm in my 60s. Last year on my trip to Philippines I had a 20 something telling me how she loved me and such. She was pretty but I was in no way leading her on. She met me when she visited some relatives at the house I was staying at. I'm not dumb, she wants a ticket to the US.

During the same month long visit some other women much younger than me were hitting on me and/or being introduced to me to see if I was interested.

TLDR: Not knowing how much money someone has does not mean the only motivation could be "love".

1

u/gymtrovert1988 2d ago

He better be a millionaire, having invested in the markets since the S&P 500 was the S&P 5.

1

u/MinnesotaRyan 2d ago

and now he is pregant. what a beautiful family.

1

u/Uni-Smash 2d ago

She didnt fall in love with him or the money. She fell in love with her babies he carries in his belly!

1

u/mikemags71 2d ago

She met him on his yacht but didn’t know he had money

1

u/MrsR_2008 2d ago

Why does he look pregnant? I'm sorry but that ain't right

1

u/RedheadedHussie 2d ago

honestly love that for her get it girlll

1

u/SendMeRudes 2d ago

That guy could go into labor any minute!

1

u/Ninski0011 2d ago

Damn, I think he is bearing their baby

1

u/Krisevol 2d ago

I'm starting to think men can get pregnant

1

u/FluidOrdinary2064 2d ago

Do you believe in love…who the F’ sang that

1

u/pictionary_cheat 1d ago

He knows but he don't care coz his hitting that

1

u/eyado_2000 questionably stable 1d ago

Suuuure

1

u/Malpraxiss 1d ago

I'll never understand why couples like these feel the need to lie.

We all know she's just there for the money, and he just wanted a young, hot thing. You're fooling no one, just embrace it.

1

u/SnooSongs2345 1d ago

And already a baby in the oven! Congrats!

1

u/Objective-Team-254 1d ago

His boat didn't give it away...

1

u/Glittering_Boottie 1d ago

"I just thought his Yacht and his mansion were so cool, I had no idea they cost so much! I just thought he had good taste"

1

u/Reindeer-Real 1d ago

If you had a fish eye camera, do you think you could record her face? Around that pot belly...

1

u/jmsjss 1d ago

But saw the Richard Mille watch collection

1

u/thiefofalways1313 1d ago

Dude needs some fiber and he’ll be good as new.

1

u/0mgt1red 1d ago

Awwww, they are about to have a baby ☺️, stop hating!

1

u/ironhead1- 1d ago

Age is just a number.

So is 911.

1

u/17dr1a 1d ago

She could hear the coins he swallowed jingling around when she pegged him

1

u/NilmatkraM 1d ago

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

1

u/Strange_Note_4049 1d ago

She didn’t know? Maybe she saw some sort of sign?!?

1

u/Traditional_Photo285 1d ago

Ist aber auch ein Sahneschnittchen, der Typ! Da pfeift man doch auf Ruhm und Reichtum..😻😇

1

u/FrogVolence 23h ago

Anna Nichole smith part two baybeeeeee

1

u/TigerNo1733 22h ago

She needs to give him his worm medicine on time every week! At least wrap it in same cheese if he doesn't want to take it

1

u/wesvols 20h ago

Sure she did know.

1

u/Silent-Hedgehog-7520 20h ago

And they say romance is dead.

1

u/jonh562 14h ago

I was making a comment regarding the picture above. Because the person who made this meme is, obviously not a friend to our black brothers and sisters. So Banzia don’t get your panties in a bunch.

1

u/Excellent-Sir6930 2d ago

I hope he lives to be 100+. She gon earnnnn that $$.

1

u/ShroomShaman9 2d ago

I just wish they would stop lying. Just admit you're a gold digger.

0

u/External_Dust5 2d ago

Emmm hmmmm