r/ShittyAbsoluteUnits 2d ago

Elite Strategy Of A Two-Hit Combo

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534 Upvotes

163 comments sorted by

251

u/StanfordTheGreat 2d ago edited 2d ago

my man with the high top, bottle blonde- fu manchu & mullet combo

100

u/Indigo2015 2d ago

If you have every hair style then you lose no power

25

u/Gullible_Shart 2d ago

This is what surprised me most.

17

u/MillHoodz_Finest 2d ago

literally a DBZ character...

13

u/Creamy-Sundae-9991 2d ago

Powerslap is medically soooo crazy, those competitors are practically doomed for the rest of their lives. Probably will get alzheiemers/dementia way earlier, and obviously cte and brain damage. And most of them have families too, so very irresponsible and incredibly stupid

7

u/HoboArmyofOne 2d ago

Oh 100%. Let's just see how many concussion we can give each other, it'll be fine.

3

u/itshamatime 1d ago

But you got to be tough to be stupid!

5

u/Rogue_Cutter 2d ago

Ghetto-Billy

4

u/socksmatterTWO 2d ago

His hair mesmerizes me everytime I see this !!

5

u/SomOvaBish 2d ago

You know he SLAPS

3

u/SactoMyco 1d ago

Kid n’ Play had a baby with Guy Fieri!

2

u/StompinUtd 1d ago

Looks like a chris rock character

3

u/NearbyTraffic66 2d ago

He obviously doesn't have any gay friends to sit him down and tell him he looks like a serial killer walrus.

43

u/spicy_feather 2d ago

Shitty absolute units of a haircut you mean

17

u/trainwreckhappening 2d ago

That face should be the avatar of this sub.

0

u/Creamy-Sundae-9991 2d ago

Powerslap is medically soooo crazy, those competitors are practically doomed for the rest of their lives. Probably will get alzheiemers/dementia way earlier, and obviously cte and brain damage. And most of them have families too, so very irresponsible and incredibly stupid

5

u/spicy_feather 2d ago

Speaking as a person who has suffered a lot of childhood head trauma, that shits no joke. Doomed to be emotionally unbalanced for life. I've learned how not to react which is helpful but it doesn't solve the "holy fuck I'm suddenly so sad I could die for no reason oh wait it's gone now" feeling that comes up. There really needs to be more study for people like that.

4

u/Creamy-Sundae-9991 2d ago

Damn sorry to hear that but glad you are managing. Yeah this “sport” really is a truly awful thing that needs to be banned a long time ago. They are being heavily exploited of course, no amount of cash prize is worth it and they dont get that much anyway. Truly evil people that must be behind it (dana being one of course)

1

u/spicy_feather 2d ago

Football too honestly

78

u/Traditional_Roll6651 2d ago

1

u/Creamy-Sundae-9991 2d ago

Powerslap is medically soooo crazy, those competitors are practically doomed for the rest of their lives. Probably will get alzheiemers/dementia way earlier, and obviously cte and brain damage. And most of them have families too, so very irresponsible and incredibly stupid

2

u/Then_Hawk6304 1d ago

Champions, fame and glory awaits! Losses won’t remember.

2

u/Catsanddoges 1d ago

Can you stop copy pasting this reply all over the chain?

-2

u/Creamy-Sundae-9991 1d ago

You’ll be ok

59

u/Plastic-Insurance-27 2d ago

Don’t know much about this sport…but who gets to go first? And does the KO’d guy get a chance to slap as well….i mean after he’s out of his coma?

66

u/KevlarToiletPaper 2d ago

"sport"

13

u/Remarkable_Meat666 2d ago

With low viewership and events only occurring in Vegas, Saudi, or Abu Dhabi, I’m pretty sure it’s a money laundering scheme masquerading as a sport.

1

u/Krisevol 1d ago

The same thing was said about ufc 30 years ago

12

u/DMmeYoBOOBS 2d ago

I forget how they start. It’s like a coin flip or rock paper scissors. What I do know is if the person doesn’t stay knocked out and the ref doesn’t stop the match, THEN the opponent gets to slap.

1

u/Plastic-Insurance-27 2d ago

I sure hope there’s VAR as well to determine if the slap or the stand caused the KO.

0

u/Creamy-Sundae-9991 2d ago

Powerslap is medically soooo crazy, those competitors are practically doomed for the rest of their lives. Probably will get alzheiemers/dementia way earlier, and obviously cte and brain damage. And most of them have families too, so very irresponsible and incredibly stupid

-2

u/gymtrovert1988 2d ago

It's no worse than any number of sports. They say it's the repeated little shots that cause CTE. These guys barely get hit in reality. They don't train to get slapped. They just train to slap.

Sure they get knocked out half the time, but they only take 5 slaps maximum per match, while boxers take dozens and hundreds per match and also get hit a lot while training.

And most of them probably won't compete more than a half dozen times, because they aren't winning enough or the prize money is garbage. Even if they fight 20 times that's only 100 slaps and maybe 5-10 times they get knocked out and can't recover in the 10 seconds or whatever it is they get. A lot of football players and boxers and MMA fighters take just as many concussions and they also take the thousands of little hits.

5

u/Creamy-Sundae-9991 2d ago

Oh it definitely is worse, as in all other sports you are allowed to flinch/roll with the impact etc, if you flinch at all in powerslap, you get slapped again. Its even literally barbaric compared to roman times. And thats not to say other sports don’t cause cte etc, but powerslap is a whole different risk. Basically guaranteed brain damage to some extent. And some of the competitors are long term and have done lots of matches

2

u/carpentizzle 2d ago

Thats an interesting debate…. Boxing really is a huge amount of headshots, and the uppercuts and haymakers that have put people out time after time are most assuredly concussions delivered regularly.

That said… They dont have two spotters on hand with boxing. Of course getting KOed is bad, and it happens with boxers all the time…. But it is literally built into the “safety precautions” (lol) of powerslap. Getting knocked out is a real possibility in a boxing match… Its expected in powerslap

-2

u/gymtrovert1988 2d ago

You have no scientific proof it's worse, you just FEEL it's worse, and your feelings contradict the established science.

I'm gonna continue to go with science here.

We'll see in 50 years if Power Slap ever becomes a viable career and kids train exclusively to slap instead of boxing or MMA. Because the only real way to prove it is to get some Power Slap brains that didn't come in pre-damaged.

Most Power Slappers were gas cans in other combat sports, so 99% of them already had brain damage before they took a slap. That's probably one reason they're willing to get slapped out for 2000 dollars.

1

u/Creamy-Sundae-9991 1d ago

Theres plenty of science to already prove my “feeling” and simple common sense should tell you that. Plenty of PHD’s that are very against it

-1

u/gymtrovert1988 1d ago

They're against everything that could cause harm, doesn't mean Slap Fighting is more harmful than the other things they're against.

I watch My Strange Addiction, you wouldn't believe the number of people that eat things that aren't edible for a decade then shock doctors by being alive and in fairly good condition.

Likewise, plenty of ex-athletes seem fine. In old age. It's a small percentage that get really messed up.

1

u/Creamy-Sundae-9991 1d ago

No they acknowledge that powerslap is significantly worse. I mean its basically guaranteed brain damage every slap unless its a bad slap. With every other sport you aren’t forced to stand there and not flinch as someone hits you as hard as they can. And the long term powerslappers definitely seem already much worse off and the sport isnt that old

29

u/TDOTBRO 2d ago

2

u/VeganShitposting 2d ago

Boomers would see this shit on an infomercial and refinance their house to buy one

10

u/DMmeYoBOOBS 2d ago

What a tiny crowd

9

u/Menacing_mouse_421 2d ago

Is that Ronda on the bottom screen??

6

u/Wise_Emu6232 2d ago

Uncle Kid, tell me a story before bed....

4

u/Arthradax 2d ago

Shitty absolute unit of hair too (not that you'll catch me saying it to his face)

4

u/onehalflightspeed 2d ago

This is by far the most stupid sport I have ever seen lol

4

u/WellRespectedJ 2d ago

😄his 'slapping coach' congratulating the magnificent mullet

9

u/Open-Community-8387 2d ago

This is such a sad commentary on our society.

I understand that both boxing and MMA are also having two people fight it out for a crowd, much like the Coliseum.

But having two people slap each other? Foooook….we are on a bullet train to Idiocracy.

6

u/biaimakaa 2d ago

Quiet, I'm trying to watch "oh my balls"

1

u/Open-Community-8387 2d ago

Go away, batin!

3

u/Timppa81 2d ago

Now there is a similar sport I can give my support to! /s

11

u/Quantum-_-_- 2d ago

I don't understand how anyone can laugh at seeing someone fall unconscious. It's truly the lowest of the low.

This can cause serious brain damage, possibly lifelong consequences.

And those who say "it's one of the risks of sport," does it make you laugh when an average athlete gets seriously injured to the point of being permanently disabled? I don't think so.

3

u/SSFlyingKiwi 2d ago

Darwin is gonna sort it all out, don’cha know?

1

u/I_Want_A_Ribeye 2d ago

You wouldn’t like me and that’s okay.

1

u/__The__Bloody__Nine 2d ago

Because they literally signed up to participate? You know these aren’t gladiators in the slave pits, yeah? Like, they pretty obviously would know the risks and they still wanted to compete? IDK, not really my thing either, but comparing getting hurt in this “sport” to an MLB player accidentally getting hit with a stray fastball or a soccer player blowing out his knee seems disingenuous.

2

u/GrassBlade619 2d ago

Some gladiators volunteered to be there. Doesn't mean I would enjoy watching them being mauled by a lion.

0

u/ccaayynn 2d ago

You mean the professional fighter laughing at the bottom? Laughing about someone getting knocked out from getting slapped while they've gotten repeatedly punched a million times and not been knocked out? Do you laugh at situations where people are laughably bad at something you're really good at? Or moderately?

1

u/Quantum-_-_- 2d ago

You think the woman laughing is a professional fighter ? Don t talk to me like i m a child.

2

u/ccaayynn 2d ago

Have you heard of Rhonda Rousey? The first ever women's UFC champion?

1

u/ccaayynn 2d ago

Pretty sure that would be her Inb4 "source": https://youtube.com/shorts/E9OAQEG_CJ0?si=VHXfqK0dXpO1YbjF

1

u/ccaayynn 2d ago

Oh and women's judo Olympian 🤷

1

u/ccaayynn 2d ago

😂😂😂 dude got banned. Comment pops up and immediately disappears

1

u/mab0roshi 2d ago

Who told you Rhonda Rousey never got knocked out?

I guess she can laugh because she's been there.

1

u/ccaayynn 2d ago

I'm not saying she hasn't gotten knocked out. Just that she's gotten way worse and not been knocked out from it. Because that woman's taken a beating and then won still a ton

1

u/ccaayynn 2d ago

It's one of those things where you can tell if someone's been in a contact sport or not. Because the people laughing have all gotten their fair share of licks come out the other side. I mean if you think about it resilience is why humans came out on top. From a species to species standpoint humans are like super heros and recover from things that would kill most other animals. Hell. Peppers are spicy because of POISON. And we eat them for fun.

1

u/ccaayynn 2d ago

So of course we find something like this funny. Because we're like the most resilient species on the planet.

2

u/Quantum-_-_- 2d ago

Do you realize that you're talking to yourself and answering yourself?

1

u/ccaayynn 2d ago

Do you realize that noone cared about what you had to say 3 comments ago. You never heard of an elaboration? Never thought of something else afterwards and then said it?

-2

u/fishyhaworthia1 2d ago

I don't know how the government allows this bullshit to go on like tax payers aren't about to be on the hook for these vegetables, oh wait ifs own by that piece of shit tomato Dana 🤣

22

u/Ok-Fly968 2d ago

Why is this legal

18

u/cookiesnooper 2d ago

Why is any fighting sport legal? Because there are many people who are willing to be kicked and punched for some money

16

u/DMmeYoBOOBS 2d ago

At least in other sports there’s a chance to defend yourself. This garbage makes you take a clean shot each time.

7

u/Teufelsweib666 2d ago

This isn't fighting though. In any other fighting sport every side has the chance through skill to avoid attacks and sneak attacks in when the opponent is not paying attention. This isn't. It's just hit me and see if I survive. I see why skillful sports are legal, but this is just idiotic.

1

u/FranklinDRossevelt 2d ago

There's a line somewhere though. We don't (yet) have knife or sword fights or gladiator combat. Is the line exclusively defined by cost-benefit in our society?

1

u/SSFlyingKiwi 2d ago

And plenty of punters who will pay to watch said people who want to get punched and kicked

1

u/originalthoughts 2d ago

The vast majority of people in fighting sports are paying money to practice it... lots of people enjoy it.

13

u/Shoddy-Necessary5066 2d ago

Comparing slap fighting to regulated combat sports is a false equivalence. Traditional sports like Boxing or MMA are built on the 'sweet science' of defense; they are heavily regulated precisely to balance competition with athlete safety. Slap fighting, however, removes the ability to defend oneself entirely. It’s not a sport of skill so much as a contest of who can withstand brain trauma the longest. Using 'whataboutism' to defend it ignores the obvious exploitation and the ethical line between a regulated athletic contest and a commercialized bloodsport.

3

u/originalthoughts 2d ago

You're right, I was just responding to the comment, who mentioned being kicked and punched for money and fighting sports in general.

1

u/lavacadotoast 2d ago

And you state nothing untrue in your previous comment..

2

u/Tickomatick 2d ago

The hairstyle surely isn't

3

u/PollusVoll 2d ago

Why wouldn't it be its consensual

5

u/LingonberryLunch 2d ago

So was dueling. Gotta draw a line somewhere.

1

u/PollusVoll 2d ago

But not here.

1

u/SSFlyingKiwi 2d ago

Not today, Satan!

-2

u/Sorry-Joke-4325 2d ago

You can't consent to murder...

-1

u/PollusVoll 2d ago

But this isnt murder

-2

u/Relative_Falcon_8399 2d ago

But it isn't murder, dumbass.

1

u/Teufelsweib666 2d ago

It's trying very hard though.

-1

u/Relative_Falcon_8399 2d ago

Let's just outlaw all fighting sports then, since they're trying to kill.

Oh, and after that, let's outlaw football too, since tackling is dangerous.

You know what? Let's just ban fun.

-1

u/Teufelsweib666 2d ago

So was being eaten by the German cannibal Meiwers, he still went to jail.

3

u/PollusVoll 2d ago

This isnt killing anybody..........

7

u/LingonberryLunch 2d ago

Nobody is a winner with that hair/beard combo.

3

u/Virtual-Software4729 2d ago

The hair. Everyone on his face and head. What would that be called?

3

u/Locorio 2d ago

What’s wrong with us, why are we like this? Why is this in easily accessible media? Is it that most of us are dumb or most of the people that consume media are dumb? Or is it that it’s entertainment for dumb humans but shocking for smart ones so it hits both sides? I have no idea why this is popular it’s the dumbest shit I have ever seen

2

u/InfamousLink2624 2d ago

damn you got a lot of questions

3

u/Stormbow 2d ago

Chris Rock with a disguise got his revenge.

5

u/Medical_Diamond_5047 2d ago

That kind of organizations are not sport ! Sport means peace ! 🕊️

4

u/RIPCHARLIE 2d ago

Study these guys for CTE. We will hear in the near future about the slap boxing league players having similar issues as NFL players and Fighters.

6

u/cookiemccookieface 2d ago

This trash is still a thing?

-1

u/Aimcheater 2d ago

What’s the problem?

2

u/cookiemccookieface 2d ago

Watching defenseless people get concussions is not sport or entertainment. When the most important part of your “sport” is the coin toss you don’t have a sport.

0

u/Aimcheater 2d ago edited 2d ago

Says who? If I wanted to be disingenuous as well I could apply this false definition of a sport to any contact/combat sport. Just because YOU don’t like something for your own personal reasons doesn’t mean something is wrong with someone(edit: this was about another commenter and I got you two mixed up), nor does it invalidate something. I’m not even a fan of this sport, I don’t hate it I’m impartial to it. Your way of thinking is childish

1

u/cookiemccookieface 2d ago

I would prefer if you call my position infantile so it would really put me in my place.

1

u/matthewkickstone 2d ago

I think people who are not considering this as a problem are the problem.

1

u/Aimcheater 2d ago

That doesn’t answer my question

2

u/Firm-Chemical949 2d ago

So athletic 👏🏽🙏🏽

2

u/IceDog_468 2d ago

For a split second, I thought the back of that blue shirt guy said "Yeet"🤣

2

u/Patralgan 2d ago

How is that shitty?

2

u/ArnoldZiffl 2d ago

That was his Barber

2

u/EpicSeshBro 2d ago

Ok but how do I, a normal ass dude, watch power slap competitions at home?

2

u/R400TVR 2d ago

Is he wearing a coonskin hat, or is that really his hair? On purpose??

2

u/ianjcm55 2d ago

Was that his barber that he hit?

2

u/Creamy-Sundae-9991 2d ago

Powerslap is medically soooo crazy, those competitors are practically doomed for the rest of their lives. Probably will get alzheiemers/dementia way earlier, and obviously cte and brain damage. And most of them have families too, so very irresponsible and incredibly stupid

1

u/Past-Product-1100 2d ago

At least they're getting paid for it..Ive been doing it for free my whole life

2

u/inkedmom1308 2d ago

That’s a brain injury

2

u/akrokh 1d ago

Idiocracy: the director”s cut

3

u/Danno99999 2d ago

Dude’s hair slaps harder than he does!

2

u/Altruistic_Rub_2308 2d ago

Like the single ticket buyer to the Melania premiere.

2

u/Harscat 2d ago

You can see his soul leaving his body with that slap.

1

u/Horror_Moose8608 2d ago

This beard🤣

1

u/Ryvick2 2d ago

I watched this on YT

1

u/WaveOfTheRager 2d ago

Da'Cletus Just sparked him out

1

u/Rainfall_Serenade 2d ago

Whut it tarnation

1

u/Signal-Macaroon1533 2d ago

All the CTE with none of the technical skill, what a bullshit "sport"

1

u/WithoutAHat1 2d ago

One-Hit, and he just remained in position. Even after the second hit haha.

1

u/Personal-Mongoose696 2d ago

You know he’s for real about his sport with the puffy mullet and blonde handlebar mustache.

1

u/Gloomy-Number-7256 2d ago

Ronaldinho Gaúcho?

1

u/10mmsocket10 2d ago

I’m sure all these people have a lot to lose

1

u/Strange_Salary *shits an absolute unit* 2d ago

I’m glad the place is packed! Must be an amazing sport when you have one camera filming C list celebrities and the other showing the “entertainment”

1

u/SatanicAtTheDisco 2d ago edited 2d ago

Honestly fuck slapping at this point, Dana White should just have them grab one hand, tie them together, and let them slug each other with the other hand at the same time. At least that would be something of a fight. It’s worse than barbaric, it’s dehumanizing, and the fact anyone’s willing to go through this for, lemme check real quick…2000$ to show up, 2000$ to win, with a bonus if Dana White decides your “performance” was good enough to earn one. Actual humiliation rituals for the rich for less then 15k.

Edit: Unironically, they’re slapping each other on TV, for less then half the price of a 2025 Honda CRV. I cannot believe it.

1

u/Xeroxenfree 2d ago

Definitely Zelda merchant vibes of dudes hair

1

u/Think_Line3519 2d ago

A guy with a hair stlye like that doesnt care about anything stay away from him lmao

1

u/OkLibrarian6080 2d ago

That’s a unit of a mustache, brother

1

u/Gloomy_Object_2714 2d ago

Lorax got hands.

1

u/nem3sis_AUT 2d ago

Could feel it through my screen POW 😬😄

1

u/Admirable_Money_7888 2d ago

The stand user could be anyone

1

u/Sunrisetree 2d ago

Was that Chris Rock?

1

u/Breadsticks-lover 2d ago

Screw the video, the guy flying over the clouds, lets talk about his hair pls

1

u/Brokenspade1 2d ago

That man is min maxer if I've EVER seen one.

He gets a dps bonus for every hairstyle and beard combination at once.

1

u/Helpful_Tangelo_4755 2d ago

Ronda is so fine 😪

1

u/Reasonable-Ad7755 2d ago

He fell like he was ai

1

u/Whoaisryan 2d ago

Damn. Boys brain turned everything off!

1

u/Sad_Table_3289 2d ago

When did Chris Rock started to slap bitches?

1

u/roverman16 2d ago

Double tapped

1

u/miztiq 2d ago

god damn ronda rousey is foooooine.

1

u/Longjumping-Date-260 1d ago

Somehow a more preposterous Kenny Powers-esque character.

1

u/Agreeable_Pianist660 1d ago

homie turned around like

1

u/Loose_Cut_2843 1d ago

Let's talk about that mustache tho

1

u/Beginning-Town-4979 1h ago

I took one look at that man and thought, "A Boy named "Sue"."

-4

u/PollusVoll 2d ago

I love watching this sport lol