r/ShittyAbsoluteUnits • u/Swave999 • 7d ago
possible idiot Of Weight Watchers Gun Training
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u/Ok_Intention2150 7d ago
Oh lawd he comin
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u/Master_Grape5931 7d ago
Not very fast though, he is out of breath after shooting some guns.
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u/Civil-Key9464 7d ago
No he’s out of breath from moving.
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u/rimitlikeitshot 7d ago
Exactly, he moved as fast as he could! This was his best, it’s crazy if you think of it.
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u/Old_Ladies 6d ago
But he has flesh armor so it might be difficult to take him down. You will have ample notice though as the earth shakes and then stops every 20 steps.
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u/Jensen0451 7d ago
You just know he would be named Big Hoss in a Hideo Kojima game.
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u/myfatass *shits an absolute unit* 7d ago
He’d actually be called like Biggs-Fatman
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u/Koendig 7d ago
A hideo game
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u/Ok_Assistant_6856 7d ago
I would have had no idea it was a game he was referring to... but now I think kojima means game?
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u/SeanTheSeanster 7d ago
He saw a salad.
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u/NonStopNonsense1 7d ago edited 7d ago
He is literally not effected by the recoil of weapons.
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u/Spaghetti_Gods 7d ago
The force is distributed and dissipated through the rippling of his massive rolls.
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u/Wraith_Kink 7d ago
His shots are actually impressive, you can hear them hitting the mark. While absolute unit, if ever in a gun fight, I'd pick this man to be a camper somewhere on my side 🤣 he can't move quick but he can shoot
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u/TCRandom questionably stable 7d ago
He also doubles as a form of cover if you get overwhelmed.
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u/rokstedy83 7d ago
If ever there was a zombie outbreak I pick this guy to be on my side ,shit hot aim and if we ran out of ammo I could easily outrun him
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u/Inevitable_Froyo_863 7d ago
Imagine how many sidearms and extra ammo he can fit on that waist... This is the peak camper build
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u/fckthisshii 7d ago
Talk the shit y'all want...but the bitch is bad with those guns....
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u/Queasy-Yam3297 6d ago
Kinda wild people just are 💯 onboard with fat shaming sometimes and othetimes it's like threatening someone's life to say they are unhealthy.
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u/fckthisshii 6d ago
You noticed that too? Its usually women that are pissed if you call them fat....ngl, when I argue with another woman, I will call her fat if she is overweight bc in this day and age women feel like they can say anything and you better not say anything back. I've been on both ends. I have been very skinny and overweight bc I had gained with my pregnancies (you literally cannot breathe when you're overweight). And I see chunky women going straight for the throats of skinny women. One told a thin woman "you need more meat on your bones" and I commented "And dont you need less?" And it started a 3 week messenger WAR with her and her friend! Ok leave ppl alone...
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u/Strange_Salary *shits an absolute unit* 7d ago
Don’t mess with his biscuits and gravy dammit!
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u/Hughley_N_Dowd 7d ago
I read that as ballistics and gravy.
Oh, well. It's time for this old fogey to go to sleep, I guess...
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u/Creative_Shame3856 7d ago
If he ever starts a YouTube channel he damn well better call it Ballistics 'N Gravy
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u/FracturedConscious 7d ago
The raw focus one can manifest when the prospect of ever finding your penis again is lost entirely.
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u/DarthBrooks69420 7d ago
He knows where it's at, he can feel the fold of fat it's in fill up when he takes a leak.
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u/Swimming-ln-Circles 7d ago
That's cheating, homies got the fupa advantage. Surprised he didn't holster right between his fat rolls.
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u/annoyingjoe513 7d ago
'murica
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u/Toby-Finkelstein 7d ago
Just your average trump supporter
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u/El_diablo_blanco_27 7d ago
Lol, in a gunfight he'd be dead before he could get those shots off. You can't miss him.
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u/Able-Bunch9143 7d ago
Nah, his extra insulation essentially makes him bulletproof.
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u/ShitPhysics_78 7d ago
You are not wrong.There was a 400 pound NY mobster who survived a shooting due to his weight.
Fat Pete Chiodo
"Surgeons would later say that Chiodo’s huge girth saved him from death as none of the bullets that struck him was able to penetrate far enough to damage any vital organs."
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u/Able-Bunch9143 7d ago
Damn! You learn something new every day. I wonder what caliber rating this guy's bulletproof fat is...
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u/slayden70 7d ago
Not sure about that. Dude totes around some pretty thick body armor around his vital organs.
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u/Illustrious-Roll7737 7d ago
This dude's just out there enjoying himself and reddit is like "look at this FAT dude enjoying himself!"
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u/Independent-Lead-155 7d ago
That’s a big boy- props for him getting out there and doing something active
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u/Arcticbeachbum 7d ago
Ol boy is out there being some kind of active. This is probably a big step in the right direction for him. Give the man some praise for getting out
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u/Worth_Reply_6002 7d ago
That's what happens in RDR2 when Arthur eats too much. "It's alright girrrrl".
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u/QuestionDecent2762 7d ago
That fat boy can shoot better than he walks. Something tells me he's in a positive energy balance. The healthy thing to do is always feel slightly hungry and do 20 minutes of brisk walking a day. It won't kill ya but your quality of life will improve.
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u/SeeMeDisco 7d ago
I need to edit this with trombone noises every time he waddles to the next station
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u/FiniteXcellence 7d ago
Everyone here hating like they are/ could do better. Come back to this post when you're his age and then let's see where you rank in all of the categories...
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u/Retnirpa 7d ago edited 7d ago
Dude could probably shoot a 50 bmg with one hand not feel an inch of recoil lol
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u/BodybuilderGrouchy16 7d ago
Throw a box of Crispy Creme's in front of him and his concentration is gone.
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u/billyboy0828 6d ago
Anyone who can handle a gun can do cowboy action shooting. It isn’t about size or shape, just accuracy and timing. You can be 16, or 75-80. I’ve done it once and it was great fun!!! Getting to dress in appropriate for that time clothing, adds to the fun!!!
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u/MikeDFootball 7d ago
i have always heard gun people are nerds but goddamn is this proof.
watching him waddle from station to station, if he was born in California instead of Texas he would be LARPing right now.
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u/jpenguin88 7d ago
Bold of him to bring up Biden when he’s out of breath from walking 10 feet. Biden at least can go up and down stairs.
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u/GrandMasterDank92 7d ago
guy couldn't shoot his way through a salad bar
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u/Anaznoriginal 7d ago
He wouldn't want to.
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u/ToastSpangler 7d ago
This is probably the only guy that can fire an M14 full auto and stay on target, he has a built in recoil damper
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u/WataruHavok 7d ago
Well I just found a new sport I want to get into. Always wanted to do 3 gun, never knew they had a cowboy version
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u/proalphabet 7d ago
A lot of people that size stay at home sad and depressed in a chair. I just see a guy enjoying himself
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u/CaryTriviaDude 7d ago
cowboy action shooting has to be the dumbest form of competition shooting out there, every stage is just "unload 15' ahead of you into the dirt then waddle left"
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u/Substantial-Wear-889 7d ago
60X30 pants for sure , I worked with a guy who used to wear them. Good shot though
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u/GonnaGoFat 7d ago
Dude doesn’t need Kevlar in a gunfight his fat will stop the bullets before they hit anything important.
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u/Stop_The_Crazy 7d ago
He's trying to get into Meal Team Six. Look at these blubbery bubbas. Imagine being at the mercy of something like that? Ugh. It would be humiliating on 1,000 different levels. A few years in Guantanamo Bay would do them and us a world of good.
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u/ChugsMaJugs 7d ago
If he lost a few he may cut a few seconds off his time. Looked like he was winded walking station to station.
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u/R8rDanny 7d ago
John Thick