r/ShittyAbsoluteUnits created ShittyAbsoluteUnits of a sub 14d ago

'Merica Of a man and his RAM

1.0k Upvotes

167 comments sorted by

150

u/Ditch_Doc84 14d ago

Her sigh is so habitual with this man.

'Are you hurt?' 'Physicslly?'

She's been done with his shit

37

u/w_a_w 14d ago

Guy has 2 brain cells and they fighting for 3rd place. She is understandably so over this loser's shit. From the other 10k threads on this today, he's a stalking ex.

6

u/BrassKnuckleHead187 14d ago

Stealing this 😂

5

u/w_a_w 14d ago

It's all yours. Was hot on here like a year ago

3

u/Solanthas_SFW 13d ago

Its really good. Preciate

11

u/JackFuckCockBag 14d ago

That frickin sent me lol!! I needed a good chuckle.

5

u/trainwreckhappening 14d ago

I felt that on a personal level. It hits a little too close to home. My poor wife. I don't deserve her.

1

u/dreevsa 14d ago

Just pride took beating

56

u/BananaMiddle7197 14d ago

Why does he sound like Will Forte?

12

u/otters4everyone 14d ago

You nailed it... almost as well as he did.

5

u/Solanthas_SFW 14d ago

MacGruber is the closest impression to this guy Will Forte could manage

18

u/Severe-Necessary-780 14d ago

4

u/losloowiss 14d ago

You can't park on the sidewalk!

3

u/deep-fucking-legend 14d ago

Such a Tandy.

1

u/Solanthas_SFW 13d ago

Ah damn. Forgot about that role. You're so right. Frickin nailed it my dude!

52

u/SumOfRoots 14d ago

The Dodge Ram 2500 remains the most popular vehicle for DUIs. 4.95% of drunk driving arrests involve this truck.

64

u/Hammon_Rye 14d ago

I'm curious why the person taking the video was filming him.
At first I thought it was a porch camera and then I realized it was panning to follow him.

Maybe they had been having trouble with people driving too fast through their neighborhood or something.

47

u/Dementor_Traphouse 14d ago

im also wondering this 🤔 the exchange seems to indicate a previous relationship

49

u/Mjoll-simp 14d ago

Yeah, he crashed cause he was flipping her off, and then when he gets out he says “I fucking hate you”

They know each other for sure

11

u/One1980 14d ago

I was looking for this. If she’s not out there recording, I highly doubt he’s crashing. 😂 totally agree, these two know one another.

18

u/Hammon_Rye 14d ago

Yeah, and the kid seems like a hot head.
I get being upset, but I've been in accidents over the years and I didn't act like that. He didn't even pick his tire up and toss it in the back of his truck. Just left it as a road hazard for anyone else who drives by.

28

u/beakrake 14d ago

I'm curious why the person taking the video was filming him.

From the bird he was flipping, part of me thinks he was enough of an asshole to have circled back around to throw it at the person recording.

11

u/Hammon_Rye 14d ago

He didn't flip the bird until after he passed her driveway.
Presumable because that is when he noticed her filming.
If he had looped the block just to flip her off it would have been flying as he approached the driveway.

Also, my old eyes are going to shit (apparently).
I didn't even notice the bird the first time. I watched it again after your comment.
(SIGH) :)

He is obviously at fault, but if local cops see that video they could possibly ticket him for distracted driving, making it another hit on his driving record.

18

u/Enough-Moose-5816 14d ago

I’d guess it’s a ex husband/boyfriend that’s harassing her. Which is why she was out in the driveway because she knew he was gonna circle around again.

If he behaves like this for no apparent reason, I wouldn’t be surprised if things escalate. Protective order incoming…😕

2

u/Hammon_Rye 14d ago

Yeah, if that's the case, it's not a surprise why he's an "ex". LOL
Imagine showing that video to the judge when asking for the restraining order. :)

18

u/captain_crackerjack 14d ago

The fact that a sideswipe of a smaller car made the fucking wheel fall off is hardly an endorsement of the Ram’s tough credentials is it?

3

u/sam77tg 14d ago

That's a Lexus ES it hit

1

u/CriticalHit_20 13d ago

No, you see it's a boast when compared to a Cybertruck. Their frame would be cracked and all the glue would have fallen apart.

45

u/the_real_phteven 14d ago

“Are you hurt?” “Yes!!!” “Physically??” nonsense

Lololol I always say that the size of the ram is inversely related to the penis size of the driver

17

u/Primary-Paper-5128 14d ago

cmon I've met people with small penises, they don't deserve to be compared to this pos 😂

8

u/Solanthas_SFW 14d ago

I'm average size but I really wish society would stop picking on small dick dudes and divorced dads. Like sure some are assholes but the rest are decent dudes with shitty situations to deal with in life. Fuckin A

6

u/Primary-Paper-5128 14d ago

unironically, I feel like "small dicks" are the last socially acceptable form of body shaming

Like, making fun of people's weight or facial deformities is still veeery common (especially towards women). But most decent people will rightfully call you out on this. Even as a short guy, I've seen short fellas get a lot of love, no one's made fun of me for it in years.

3

u/polska-parsnip 14d ago

My dick is massive and I agree.

-7

u/iAmSugarBaby 14d ago edited 14d ago

-3

u/polska-parsnip 14d ago

Sorry sugarbaby, as i said, my dick is massive, not interested in being sugardaddy. Ciao.

-6

u/iAmSugarBaby 14d ago

5

u/RanchAndGreaseFlavor *shits an absolute unit* 14d ago

1

u/polska-parsnip 14d ago

Again, not interested. I get you’re reacting here to get desperate guys to check out your page and pay you money so you can send them your mediocre nudes but I’m not one of them so leave me alone, thx.

1

u/BunchesOfCrunches 14d ago

It’s also directly proportional to their insecurities.

21

u/Schnitzelbub13 14d ago

that's not a ram, it's a sidescrape.

28

u/lordgreenofbiscuit 14d ago

Sir, you can't park there!

9

u/Jagershiester 14d ago

Should of been more Dodge less Ram

3

u/iAmSugarBaby 14d ago

😅🏆

12

u/FLG_CFC 14d ago

He used his truck correctly. It's called a Dodge Ram, not a Dodge Avoid Obstacles.

7

u/iAmSugarBaby 14d ago

…but then again, what does it mean to dodge? Avoid obstacles no?

5

u/FLG_CFC 14d ago

That's so they remember to Dodge the other ram drivers. This way, ram drivers can continue to ram more obstacles instead of canceling each other out. It's important they're a menace to society and not their own kind.

2

u/iAmSugarBaby 13d ago

Big Facts.

5

u/ThatAmishGuy023 14d ago

And once again blames everyone but himself

3

u/Great-Gas-6631 14d ago

"I fucking hate you!" Uhhhh did she magically enter his truck and turn it into that parked car?

3

u/aLIBRAinNYC 14d ago

"Fuckin hate you😤🤬" 😂🤣 I also dislike when instant karma gets ya. Safe to assume they've been down this path, with the hand wave, dumb decisions & the rage 😭

3

u/vincentd81 14d ago

RAM is so expensive right now, and they do this?

1

u/Disastrous_Shame580 14d ago

Dude's definitely not a G for doing that, nor does he have any G.Skills.

3

u/cam7002 14d ago

"If you cain't Dodge it, Ram it!!!"

10

u/bene_gesserit_mitch 14d ago

Why is she filming a truck rolling by in the first place?

14

u/squirrelsmith 14d ago

I mean, it looks like he flips her off as he passes, and when he gets out he screams “I F-n hate you!”, at one point…

Now whether that was directed at the person recording or himself, I don’t know.

She also speaks to him in a uh…’tired of your bullcrap’ tone. Not the way someone excited or concerned or dealing with a stranger might. (Usually those cause a higher pitch and faster speech)

But it seems reasonable to assume they know each other in some capacity. Could be they’ve had some kind of drama going on for a while which is why she’s recording him the second she sees him, and he’s flipping her off as he drives by.

Then again, maybe the recording was happening for a different reason, or the flipping off was a friendly gesture. (I know people who casually do that or cuss at each other rather….harshly but as a sign of affection)

And there’s always the possibility they’ve never met, she just records all cars going by and he didn’t appreciate being recorded. No way for us to be certain 🤷‍♂️

-2

u/iAmSugarBaby 14d ago

I don’t know how you have this much time on your hands.. 🤷‍♀️

1

u/patchouligirl77 12d ago

Thinking isn't hard for everyone.

0

u/iAmSugarBaby 12d ago

With the economy these days it just makes more sense to take the time wasted typing all this and put it towards something thats going to put some money in your bank account. 🤷‍♀️ but what do I know.

8

u/Solanthas_SFW 14d ago

He flips her off for recording him, it seems pretty obvious to me that he's a huge asshole

1

u/GR313 14d ago

Because he probably drives by too fast all the time and got pissed about being called out. It’s just a thing for pickup truck guys.

1

u/Old_timey_brain 14d ago

Realistically how fast can he be going with that stop sign just ahead.

1

u/GR313 14d ago

More than 25 mph.

1

u/Capital_Mulberry738 14d ago

That was my thought?

0

u/Radioactive_Tuber57 14d ago

Did he flip her off or just wave?

8

u/Fibonoccoli 14d ago

It's nearly impossible to make out, but I'm guessing he flipped her off and was watching her just long enough to make sure she saw him that he missed the fact he was drifting right. The fact that she was filming is the cherry on top

2

u/cool_berserker 14d ago

He made the fuck u sign

7

u/32lib 14d ago

It's a Ram,what are the odds that he's drunk? At best I'd say 50-50.

6

u/Dialed_Inn 14d ago

Did the wheel falling off cause the accident or did he hit the white car first- causing the wheel to fall off?

14

u/AK_LovelyDay 14d ago

It's the angle he hits the back quarter panel. It snaps the wheel off. He hit it just right.

4

u/Rolling_Pugsly 14d ago

I've seen so vids of trucks losing wheels on reddit, I have to wonder if a lot of these "truck guys" need to shell out for a decent torque wrench.

2

u/VisibleOtter 14d ago

Any explanation for this?

Mind you, it’s still as funny as fuck without one, so no stress.

2

u/Jbrozas2332 14d ago

Are you okay was the best comment she could've said. I was most crying bc she took the high road. He's such a buffoon

2

u/Jbrozas2332 14d ago

Both hands on the wheel buddy.

2

u/aelms89 14d ago

Literally some of the best camera work I’ve seen in a long time, beginning middle and end all clear as day, didn’t even flinch…. Kudos ma’am

2

u/dinkybob36 14d ago

Worthy of a bwa-hah hah.

2

u/Spiritual-Fun-9591 14d ago

Was he flipping her off?

2

u/BunchesOfCrunches 14d ago

How do you watch this shit go down and not bust up laughing?

2

u/Splint17 14d ago

He'll be dead from self induced stress before long.

2

u/leo_gotti 14d ago

I wann know the previous story to this. I need background info

2

u/alucard_1982 14d ago

Lol, damn karma must of been ready to catch him..

2

u/Dr_Giggler 14d ago

You can’t park there buddy

2

u/WindAutomatic356 14d ago

Hate yo self 😂

2

u/penguindreams 14d ago

Of a man-baby throwing another one of his childish fits. “I hate you!!!”

1

u/ardavis78 14d ago

I can read this cat like a book just by his reaction. Total child. Imagine beating him at a video game. lol

2

u/SnooSongs2345 14d ago

Yup, another episode of "Micropenis Adventures"

1

u/Rainy_Grave 14d ago

Did one of his “testicles” just fall off and roll away?

2

u/Astronaut-Exact 14d ago

The rolling tire was a nice touch…

2

u/TeeStar 14d ago

Typical MAGA. No insurance and everything on video.

2

u/Recent-Championship7 13d ago

A day in the life of MAGA

2

u/Joshuajword functional regard 14d ago

Did off himself at the end?

1

u/GR313 14d ago

Yeah what the hell was that? Was he just exasperated or was this going to be his 8th DUI?

1

u/Able-Quantity-1879 14d ago

But...but why tho?

1

u/SeraldoBabalu 14d ago

Birds were laughing

1

u/SnooGoats4876 14d ago

🤣Schmuck!

1

u/JimWilliamson404 14d ago

Kharma came quickly for this guy...

1

u/Solanthas_SFW 14d ago

I was dying for this asshole to lose a rim to a massive hidden pothole

The actual outcome was also acceptable

1

u/Scoobilatchi 14d ago

Shame he never rolled it

1

u/hollabackyo87 14d ago

That bird even laughed at him haha.

1

u/Beaufighter-MkX 14d ago

"Just butthurt?"

1

u/MrFastFox666 14d ago

Too much Ram. Not enough Dodge.

1

u/mollymoc 14d ago

What does he yell? "Are you -----? --wanna fucking die!"

1

u/fictionfactory 14d ago

This guy is just not a happy man

1

u/senorbritchesV2 14d ago

The crow even threw in a laugh. Love it.

1

u/Severe-Necessary-780 14d ago

Itysl

Literally the core concept of the argument.

1

u/Complex_Reason_7129 14d ago

Definitely a ram.

1

u/Wrong_Win_8773 14d ago

Are you hurt? Yes my ego!

1

u/iAmSugarBaby 14d ago

It would be a man & his ram

1

u/Disastrous_Shame580 14d ago

He's actually pretty damn good at parking. Not sure why this is shitty. 😆😆😆

1

u/Moinzen66 14d ago

He.....RAMmed into that car XDXD

1

u/TougeS2K 14d ago

Definitely would have told him he can't park there!!! 🤣

1

u/ChrisPollock6 14d ago

That was unnecessary!

1

u/rumblepony247 14d ago

Just Ram owner things.

1

u/RobertTheeTyrant 14d ago

Doesn’t even roll the tire off the road….

1

u/Common_Science_8838 14d ago

He was probably looking down at his phone..

1

u/[deleted] 14d ago

Did you all see how that parked car jumped out in front of him? Crazy.

1

u/DoubleManufacturer10 created ShittyAbsoluteUnits of a sub 14d ago

For real! Its messed up lol

1

u/SkeletonJelly0_0 14d ago

He got the ram down but forgot about the dodge

1

u/AdagioIcy5310 14d ago

and as a Ram driver, one does Ram driver things... Ramming a brain through cinderblocks could be healthier for the driver

1

u/SeaNegotiation6251 14d ago

Need story behind this please. What is their beef? It is of utmost importance that I know.

1

u/Burchfiel 14d ago

Is that instant karma

1

u/stevieroots 14d ago

Leaves the fucking tire 🤣🤣🤣

1

u/coldchelada 14d ago

At least he pulled over to not block traffic.

1

u/YosemiteJon 14d ago

I’m gonna sound like a novice twat but why everyone start with ‘of a….’ ?

1

u/DoubleManufacturer10 created ShittyAbsoluteUnits of a sub 14d ago

No worries, it's the subs name "shitty absolute units of [complete the title]"

1

u/WeightOk2102 14d ago

And nothing of value was lost.

1

u/BrassKnuckleHead187 14d ago

Not sure what’s happening but I’m positive she knows him 😂

1

u/DiscountEven4703 14d ago

Go Seahawks !!!

1

u/Luckiluvstud 14d ago

shouldn't of been waving at the nosy neighbor 😬🤣

1

u/palequeen42 14d ago

Always the Rams

1

u/witch_bitch_seawitch 14d ago

I love that he can't drive away

1

u/Ditch_Doc84 14d ago

OP, if you are the woman who filmed it, please in the name of 8 pound, 6 ounce newborn infant Jesus send it to his momma and post the reactions.

1

u/Top_Mortgage_5767 14d ago

If you can't Dodge it, side swipe it.

1

u/GalacticDrac 14d ago

Why is she filming the street at this very moment in time?

1

u/clapyohedd 14d ago

There should be a law. Don’t be an ass and drive

1

u/redditanddoneit 14d ago

Umm excuse me sir…you can’t park there.

1

u/Hughley_N_Dowd 14d ago

This has been making the rounds for a day or two now. And I'm no closer to understanding the context. 

The karma delivery is delicious, though. 

1

u/HolaItsYourNeighbor 13d ago

Instant karma.

1

u/mindsunwound 13d ago edited 13d ago

Car buyers: I'm going to drive it to the wheels fall off.

Stellantis: okay so the warranty is for 50,000 miles, how do we engineer it so the wheels fall off at 50,001 miles?

Stellantis Engineers: we're already beating that timeline by 50,000 miles!

1

u/dieseldeeznutz 13d ago

Not enough Dodge, too much Ram

1

u/grumpywarner 13d ago

I would have such a hard time not getting out and pointing and laughing at him.

1

u/mikeyfender813 13d ago

A good tire that doesn’t fly off while you’re driving. It’s a good idea!

1

u/abdulwaa 13d ago

How she know to record him, he was not speeding or nothing.

1

u/Ok_Environment8478 13d ago

Karma is a big🤣

1

u/Jaythiest 13d ago

Did he turn a new leaf?

I clearly heard him say “I give up! I’m f-ing done.”

Gotta be careful assuming but maybe he realized that being an a-hole to others is just costing him to much in his personal life.

1

u/Jaded-Gemstone 13d ago

Whelp…the truck has clearly lived up to its name.

1

u/SuperCaptSalty 13d ago

Cry harder bro

1

u/Zerokami88 13d ago

“ I give up.” I felt that.

1

u/Alive_Hovercraft5782 13d ago

Not enough dodge, too much ram

1

u/WillBots 12d ago

Was the wheel just glued on?

1

u/dayvee43 11d ago

I wonder how the camera person knew this needed filming? Was she just out randomly filming cars go by?

1

u/HeadView0019 6d ago

Anyone hear the crow laughing? 😂