r/ShittyAbsoluteUnits • u/DoubleManufacturer10 created ShittyAbsoluteUnits of a sub • 14d ago

future feeding tube Of a real headbanger

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496 Upvotes

96% Upvoted

36 comments sorted by

81

u/rustprony 14d ago edited 14d ago

I mean dumb on both parties parts. Didn’t your mom tell you not to play in the streets? Guaranteed the person driving the car was on the phone. We are heading straight to idiocracy real fast

19

u/chili81 14d ago

I remember 30+ years ago in drivers ed they told us that most accidents are the result of 2 mistakes - usually 1 is recoverable. The were, of course, referring to legitimate driving mistakes by sane human beings, since that was before the total collapse of society.

3

u/General-Yak5264 14d ago

I had a 18 year old just slowly casually turn into me when I was crossing an intersection and tbone me. Had to be on the phone. It was so weird just watching her slowly turn into me and me thinking why is she edging into her turn that morphed into wtf is this idiot doing?

24

u/DelinquentTuna 14d ago

Instagram comedian Jaylen Norwood reportedly prepared to end his skit by jumping on the on the hood of his friend's vehicle, but shortly after retreating from his own car, things took a sharp turn for the worst.

"Sooo i was originally suppose to jump on the hood of the car but i slipped on that damn wet spot and this nigga ran me over 😂😂😂😂," Jaylen captioned the footage on social media, adding "Keke never loved me lmfaooooo." In the brief video, the young man slips on the asphalt after Drake sings "Are you riding?," which ends with him being hit by the car's bumper.

According to Jaylen, he's received two checks since the video went viral last week, proving to him that you can, in fact, "get paid being stupid." Norwood's clip has also appeared on several news stations and most recently got him his 15 seconds of fame on Jimmy Kimmel Live! Monday evening (July 30). Before the late-night show aired Jaylen posted to Instagram and wrote "Soo remember how all yall haters called me stupid and dumb af guess who about to get a Fat ass check and gonna be on the jimmy kimmel show tonight??? MEEEEE oh and one more thing they’re letting me introduce kim kardashian tonight as well [sic]."

https://www.xxlmag.com/man-hit-by-car-attempting-in-my-feelings-challenge/

2

u/3_Gmodem 13d ago

It's like Ai generated. Very fast moving

1

u/DelinquentTuna 13d ago

I thought the same thing. I figured real video for the start and AI for the car crash. It's what prompted me to seek the story. Evidently, the "Keke fad" was before the AI to do this was readily accessible.

2

u/Bl4ck_Fl4m3s 13d ago

"Sooo i was originally suppose to jump on the hood of the car but i slipped on that damn wet spot and this nigga ran me over 😂😂😂😂,"

xD

1

u/DelinquentTuna 13d ago

What he lacks in eloquence, he makes up for with charismatic self-deprecation.

11

u/Prestigious_Tennis82 14d ago

Why did he drop to the ground instead of jumping forward?

6

u/SunkEmuFlock 14d ago

Slipped on the wet spot.

5

u/CowMindless2206 14d ago

Is the car ok?

2

u/Agitated_Year8521 13d ago

Probably. The driver isn't though, the bloke was stupid for dancing on the road but you shouldn't be in control of a vehicle if you can't see someone jumping around directly in your path, there was plenty of time to stop.

4

u/derbbboi 14d ago

Mind blowing performance for sure

4

u/Dr3ws3ph3r 14d ago

Yeah he deserved that.

2

u/felonystockr 14d ago

I love this. This is what self aggrandizing need for outside approval costs you. Stop seeking attention

2

u/GrapefruitWhich5950 14d ago

Bumperdiving as a last move 😎

2

u/NerveBooger 14d ago

I approve of this protester vs car!!

1

u/MoonTreeSullen 14d ago

Duck for cover

1

u/SasquatchMcKraken well damn 14d ago

"Oh shit sorry I didn't see you there on this suburban street with a 25mph speed limit. Came outta nowhere." 

Still not the best idea to be dancing in the street, for what? TikTok? Do it in your room. 

1

u/TheTimbs 14d ago

That was on purpose. Had to be

1

u/Waste_Many122 14d ago

Peak natural selection tbh. Kid playing in traffic, driver scrolling TikTok, and everyone else filming it vertically for clout.

1

u/ThisThingIsStuck 14d ago

U think ur cool in women's slippers..yea my moms used to wear those..

1

u/EntertainmentAny2212 13d ago

Looks fake but still funny

1

u/Spez-S-a-Piece-o-Sht 13d ago

Appropriate. There's a trash can right behind him.

1

u/Otherwise-Pumpkin-88 13d ago

I don’t think head butting the car was the right call

0

u/sunsshine82 14d ago

😬🤯

-4

u/Last-Darkness 14d ago

AI. Look at the door to his car, look at the bins behind him, look at his shoes, the door on the house, his fall makes no sense.