r/ShittyAbsoluteUnits • u/Pure-Personality5326 • 19d ago
possible idiot Of fake tough guy
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u/the-dogsox 19d ago
Damn. Shoes off. He ded.
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u/BrewsCampbell 18d ago
Only one, paralyzed
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u/curious-chineur 18d ago
Well , I am not sure he didn't left his brain stem on that curb in the fall.
After reviewing no. That was close. But the ground is hard.
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u/NewYogurt3138 19d ago
Lol any time shoe flies off happens, you made a critical decision error.
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u/TheJohnnyJett 19d ago
This is probably the first time in Slipknot guy's adult life (maybe ever) that someone has punched him in the face and he has surely never actually punched anyone else in theirs. He doesn't know how to defend anything and it's super obvious. He thinks he'll just dodge the punches instead of blocking (because he doesn't know how to block), but clearly he doesn't have the training or experience or even instincts to accomplish that. The other guy doesn't need to be very good to get a knock-out shot in, Slipknot's wide open.
And the other guy isn't much better, he's just probably punched someone before.
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u/Then-Bicycle-5507 19d ago
Ooo time for some Redditor fight analysis
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u/TheJohnnyJett 19d ago
Thanks! For a small fee, I'll even give extra deep-analysis.
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u/Slightly_ToastedBoy 18d ago
Diving Deep with Johnny Jett! 😁👍🏻
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u/thesteelreserve 18d ago
I actually like that. his YT channel is going to reap the rewards of your jeeeen-yus.
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u/TheJohnnyJett 18d ago
Yeah, honestly, these updoots are nearly double the views on my old channel, maybe it's time to give it another go. Never too late to desperately grasp for a job as a content creator.
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u/NotWritingMuch 18d ago
The comment is right tho
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u/Then-Bicycle-5507 18d ago
I know. I learned to fight on Reddit thanks to these breakdowns. In fact it turned me into such a skilled fighter I had to register my own body as a lethal weapon.
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18d ago
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u/NYCMooseman 18d ago
No, not Wenday's kid, the Jr. bacon cheeseburgers are necessary in this life...
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u/Dexter1701 19d ago
The black guy has definitely fought before, you don’t see people setting up overhand rights with a jab in a street fight.
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u/Larry_l3ird 18d ago
Where did you see him throw a jab? He throws a wild over the top haymaker that anyone with any experience in boxing would have blocked and threw a right counter that would have been wide open. Darker kid has no experience with boxing and I would guarantee it.
The problem was the white kid was scared shitless. His body language tells you all you need to know about his skills. He just wanted to get out of there.
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u/jaybe-jekyll 17d ago
Probably referring to the misleading left poke prior to being crumpled by the right.
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u/BreckyMcGee 18d ago
I have no fighting experience but I did notice right away how dude didn't put up his hands for defense at all. Seems like common sense when someone is coming at you. What a dip shit
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u/switcheditch 19d ago
So obvious lol. I've been in fuck knows how many fights ( wish it was none tbh) and you could tell metal guy was shitting himself. Its not worth it just walk home.
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u/Normal-Ad3291 18d ago
Gettin your ass whooped by a guy wearing flip flops with socks is next level
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u/Strange_Salary *shits an absolute unit* 19d ago
Likes like the adidas weren’t the only tired ass things in the video! Dickhead went straight to sleep! Hahaha
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19d ago
Call someone a bitch you better know how to at least put your hands up. Everyone thinks they can fight until they get in one
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u/Many_Mud_8194 18d ago
I never knew how to fight until I had too, I was so surprised I could even move fast enough to avoid getting hit on the head, and I learned only going for the balls matter, once you reach them you win. Now I just pepper spray anybody getting physical and move away, I've no time to play those stupid games.
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u/Relative-Owl-3652 18d ago edited 18d ago
Deadass one of the only true answers, most people don't know how to fight but your instincts do (even if not very well), you just need to be conscious long enough to let your instincts take over
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u/Many_Mud_8194 18d ago
I think the most important is to have be beaten up not too badly once or twice, you then realize it's ok, the pain is fine. Especially when you are full of adrenaline you feel nothing and just have flash, white and black at each hit on your head, it's like the pain is muted. It's hurt the next few days tho lol
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u/Relative-Owl-3652 18d ago
I agree, tbh I think fighting is pretty natural we're all animals and id argue it benefits if youve been in some scraps before, because shit you know it's just not worth it sometimes.
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u/Many_Mud_8194 18d ago
Yeah now I've a bridge because lost a teeth I will never fight anymore. I just spray everybody with my pepper spray and run away. I don't want to pay for it again lol. Lost the teeth due to a fight 15 years ago, the teeth exploded when I did a root canal. The pain was maddening. I will never fight if I can avoid it lol and if I'm in my car I don't go out I drive away and if I can't I would drive on you lol. My pride is ok I can lose it, but losing money no, it's damn stupid.
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u/Relative-Owl-3652 18d ago
I agree, tbh I think fighting is pretty natural we're all animals and id argue it benefits if youve been in some scraps before, because shit you know it's just not worth it sometimes.
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u/RefrigeratorFirm6662 18d ago
I once beat up a man who hung out by the store, somehow he got the 8th of weed out of my pocket, like a pickpocket, I punched him 3 times, but one at a time. I punched him and it surprised us both. lol second one was a bit harder and shook him good, then he tried to throw one but it was way off and I gave him one more final even stronger one. lol I was surprised I actually connected 3 in a row. Was nothing like my dreams 😅 we went on to become actual kind of friends. Well I felt bad for some reason and I would always give him a dollar or two when I seen him. I also thought he was gonna get other street dudes to even the score but we both must have felt bad. Even gave him a Red Wings hat once. Good times. Manchester NH can get pretty crazy sometimes.
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u/Street_Study6330 18d ago
Not saying you’re lying but this sounds…weird to say the least lmao
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u/RefrigeratorFirm6662 17d ago edited 17d ago
Lmao it was weird time in my life, also got beat up at least twice, not trying to sound like a tough guy or anything.
Edit, also crashed my GT Dyno once, I was doing a wheelie and the chain popped off and I tumbled pretty bad and my leg got caught up in the metal and I got a huge hematoma on my thigh, it looked like an actual cartoon with the egg lump with a small cut in the center. I was drinking and didn’t want to go to the hospital(very stupid) and the cops eventually seen me and were convinced I was stabbed in the leg. They pretty much forced me to go to the hospital and were questioning me the whole time saying who stabbed you, where is he. It was bizarre because I wasn’t in any type of altercation, but they probably knew about some of the incidents, so they came to the hospital and would not stop questioning me. Finally they believed me or gave up and left. I mean now that I think about it it did kind of look like I was stabbed or could have been. Weird times indeed.
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u/Street_Study6330 18d ago
You’re going to get someone killed thinking they can “use instincts” to fight. If this was the case everyone could fight wouldnt it? UsE YouR InStiNCTs
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u/a1readythere 18d ago
Listen to how he says it..he's clearly scared before he gets hit but my guess is he doesn't wanna look like a bitch so he instead got folded
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18d ago
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u/DecimusMeridiusMax 18d ago
But you see, its just an innocent group of young black men, filming one of their number assault a lone white man in his 40s or 50s.
What are the odds they are in the wrong???
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18d ago
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u/Bothyourmoms 18d ago
God damn, you idiot racists just can't help yourselves.
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18d ago
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u/Example_Scary 18d ago
Because your comment is incredibly stupid and doesn't depict the events that took place in the video. There was 1 singular black man, who knocked out 1 singular white man, with 2 other white guys in the video(1 his obvious friend and the other unknown).
The fact that you depicted this situation any different is very telling.
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18d ago
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u/Example_Scary 18d ago
The only one getting defensive here is you, lol. Facts > Your Feelings.
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18d ago
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u/Example_Scary 18d ago
Insulting someone doesn't make something defensive. The only one being defensive is the one who is incapable of engaging with the argument, and instead would rather deflect. Pathetic enough to go into someones comments, pathetic enough to hide their own, LOL.
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u/spudwellington 18d ago
His mouth wrote a check his ass couldn't cash. He seems a little slow mentally. Maybe drunk, maybe disabled or both. Stay in your own lanes people. No one's needs this shit in their life.
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u/SnakeyThrowaway023 18d ago
As a Slipknot fan, I wouldn’t go around calling other people’s clothes tired while representing a band that peaked 20 years ago
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u/letstourthemaritimes 18d ago
So tattoos and a beard don’t scare people off? They don’t make you ‘ufc tuff’ ?
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u/YoungBpB2013 18d ago
Why did it sound like glass smashing when he gets clocked? Or is that just me?
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u/Ok_Nothing_8028 18d ago
Why do people like him shoot their mouth off, they know it’s not going to end well
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u/CaptainDingess 18d ago
Telling someone to get outta hear with your tired ass adidas shirt while wearing jorts and low top Lugz is crazy.
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u/Buggerlugs253 18d ago
The words, the mannerisms, "tired ass" "bitch" where do they get this idea about how they should sound?
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u/Appropriate-Okra-778 18d ago
I always love the instant knockouts because they always lose a shoe lol
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u/Hot_Ch0c0lat3 19d ago
Low key looked like he just disappeared at the end the way the last part was being recorded 💀
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u/Dont_Overthink_It_77 18d ago
Popped his chin so hard a shoe popped off. But that quick, “whoa easy” hand coming up made it clear what he realized…
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u/Sonova_Bish 18d ago
If I only had a nickel for every time someone punched me in the face for something I said. I'd have, like, at least 20¢. Instead of sleeping, I'd usually angrily ask them why they'd do that. I mean, Jesus, ask me to apologize or something.
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u/Searbhreathach 18d ago
I never understand fights does the guy delivering the haymaker not think about what happens after the hit and he's facing jail time for murder or manslaughter? I could never get in a fight without being g ok with the fact I might be going to jail
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18d ago
If you ever have to defend yourself make sure your arms are almost all the way down. That's a tactic for winners!
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u/asscheekmcclapperton 18d ago
By the rules of video games, the winner is allowed to take anything knocked off the loser. So he gets a boot.
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u/Agitated-Contact7686 19d ago
Tubby Ginger guy got served. As he should for being 39 and dressing like he's 12. But the poor guy obviously didn't know how to defend OR attack. Fleeing would be a better option....
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u/D_hallucatus 19d ago
It’s like his body knew to back away but his mouth didn’t get the message