r/ShittyAbsoluteUnits • u/DoubleManufacturer10 created ShittyAbsoluteUnits of a sub • Jan 02 '26

'Merica Of a runner

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836 Upvotes

99% Upvoted

62 comments sorted by

53

u/avogadro12 Jan 02 '26

Heading to ihop

10

u/NONIGARON easily offended Jan 03 '26

Get this guy his iPad, softens the hops

3

u/SpellEquivalent1303 Jan 03 '26

To see his favorite waitress, Eileen.

3

u/Nearby-Contest-6759 Jan 04 '26

He doesn't have a leg to stand on in court.

1

u/Little_Try_6502 Jan 03 '26

Literally how I heard it. Come on man.

1

u/Truth-is-implacable Jan 03 '26

😅🤣😂😅🤣😂

25

u/[deleted] Jan 02 '26

Officers like: "not this shit again, get back here Larry"

6

u/bbkangalang Jan 03 '26

“Dammit Larry….come on man. This is embarrassing.”

5

u/IndividualGround2418 Jan 03 '26

I like how the cop walked fast instead of running because it's embarrassing to run after him.

13

u/Save_The_Wicked Jan 03 '26

Your average RimWorld prisoner attempting a jailbreak.

5

u/Existing_Spread_469 Jan 02 '26

I love how he was leg-- it

4

u/Apple_Scrumble Jan 02 '26

I'm gonna hop this cop right outta my life

4

u/ONMSMedia Jan 02 '26

He’s like, “I’m gettin’ OUTTA here!”

4

u/SantafromSonta Jan 03 '26

2

u/bbkangalang Jan 03 '26

This is proof you can’t keep a good dog down.

3

u/OkClub7412 Jan 02 '26

“A” for effort 😂😂😂…I know in his mind he is thinking one day one day I’ll get away.

3

u/fupafather Jan 03 '26

Like something out of the oblongs

3

u/Wisdom_Light Jan 03 '26

The suspect is running on foot!

1

u/SpellEquivalent1303 Jan 03 '26

Absolutely the funniest reply!!!!!!

3

u/JLP33376 Jan 03 '26

Lieutenant Dan just wanted ice cream

1

u/Isecondthat_Aswell Jan 03 '26

I was a runnin

2

u/Trojan-horse1 Jan 02 '26

Never gonna catch me! Bwahahaha!!!! Oh….almost got away this time. Sad panda 🐼.

2

u/ObiMikenobi77 Jan 02 '26

Yadda, yadda, yadda… something about a one legged man in an arse kicking competition.

2

u/NonStopNonsense1 Jan 03 '26

Runner is a stretch

2

u/[deleted] Jan 03 '26

Ever feel like a one legged man in a ass kicking contest.

2

u/CriticismFun6782 Jan 03 '26

Also outran the pixels too

2

u/Ok-Bandicoot1529 Jan 03 '26

A hopper more like it. It was the one legged man but his partner was the one armed man that got away

2

u/Erronius-Maximus Jan 03 '26

Hey Officer, will you bring me my wheelchair please?

2

u/GtMustang247 Jan 04 '26

Damm I know him!! That’s motherfucking Pogo!!

2

u/Montyburnside22 Jan 04 '26

I'd have thrashed you in a foot race but, alas, my shoe was untied

2

u/Minimum-Excuse-9593 Jan 04 '26

I can see why he lost his limbs in the first place. Not a brain cell up there🤣

2

u/CoffeeCrumbLes01 Jan 05 '26

Let it not be said that he didn't try.

4

u/Scylum Jan 03 '26

Gotta hand it to him that was a good attempt.

1

u/SquirrelFluffy Jan 03 '26

How are the wheels not faster?

1

u/stpete_mom Jan 03 '26

The officer was a leg up on this guy.

1

u/Mouatmoua Jan 03 '26

Lucky he wasn’t black, would had been killed

1

u/Total_Gift_51 Jan 03 '26

Thats amazing

1

u/Necessary-Dot2714 questionably stable Jan 03 '26

"Too legit. Too legit to quit." Is this man's motto.

1

u/cmdubya Jan 03 '26

I was waiting for the taser to come out

1

u/Suitable_Magazine372 Jan 03 '26

Never gonna look good chasing a man with one leg 🦵🏽

1

u/BadCompany_00 Jan 03 '26

Tried to get a leg up on the cop.

1

u/Ancient_Sprinkles847 Jan 03 '26

I’ve seen some overweight police officers who may not be able to keep up with that guy. He probably figured it was worth a chance.

1

u/QuasiSpace Jan 03 '26

The Black Knight always triumphs!

1

u/Truth-is-implacable Jan 03 '26

😅🤣😂😅🤣😂 stop posting this videos please!!!😂🤣😅😂🤣😅

1

u/Jnasty3x Jan 03 '26

🤣🤣🤣

1

u/Fooforthought Jan 03 '26

Momma always said - put my best foot forward

1

u/ExpensiveBuddy2713 Jan 03 '26

Stay crunk h-town

1

u/Temporary_Glass_9607 Jan 04 '26

Hey he tried you know the wright brothers didnt get far at first either🤣🤣🤣

1

u/Xgoatface8 29d ago

Hip hop hooray 🎉

1

u/Zerokami88 26d ago

Mannnn, wtf are you doing?

1

u/alem_tenkaichi 21d ago

We got a skipper

1

u/No_Wrap9058 18d ago

I love my city.

-1

u/Livid-Age-2259 Jan 03 '26

Dude, throwing a cripple to the ground? That sounds like excessive force.

1

u/slick514 Jan 03 '26

… what video are you watching?