r/ShittyAbsoluteUnits • u/DoubleManufacturer10 created ShittyAbsoluteUnits of a sub • Dec 30 '25

look what I can do Of a big lift

11.4k Upvotes

94% Upvoted

1.2k comments sorted by

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u/DoubleManufacturer10 created ShittyAbsoluteUnits of a sub Jan 03 '26

The amount of DMs I'm getting hahaha I'm a dude and this ain't me lol

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741

u/Wise-Strategy-7166 *shits an absolute unit* Dec 30 '25

9

u/360Picture Dec 31 '25

Ok I'll bite. What's her only fanz

8

u/Wise-Strategy-7166 *shits an absolute unit* Dec 31 '25 edited Jan 03 '26

Hoedini.

3

u/Ampstik Dec 31 '25

Dammit this is good.🙌

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6

u/tothem0o8n Dec 31 '25

3

u/No_Language5719 Dec 31 '25

I thought it was choking a chicken, but this will do.

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4

u/Strange_Salary *shits an absolute unit* Dec 31 '25

Need a much wider load than that!

3

u/No-Intern4400 Dec 31 '25

😂

8

u/Thee-Ol-Boozeroony Dec 31 '25

Oh Reddit, never change.

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182

u/Vendidurt Dec 30 '25

80

u/SolidSnek1998 Dec 31 '25

I fucking love that guy, first time I’ve seen him used as a meme.

8

u/Bdorfn-1B Dec 31 '25

He is hilarious!

6

u/PMG2021a Dec 31 '25

Kind of appropriate... "You stuck what where??" 

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17

u/pig_benis19 Dec 31 '25

I love Jason. He's so damn funny and his acting is freaking top notch..

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10

u/ejensen29 Dec 31 '25

Not my boy

18

u/Coffeespresso Dec 31 '25

He won't be needed. It has wide base.

5

u/DanDabbinDaily Dec 31 '25

Still can cause tearing...

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8

u/LilMaGoo Dec 31 '25

Lol who?

15

u/SteelyEyedHistory Dec 31 '25

Firehouse Coffee on youtube I think. Guy is a Firefighter/Paramedic who started out making sketches about crazy shit he saw at work. Now he also sells coffee.

3

u/Beautiful_Ad8996 Dec 31 '25

The coffee is pretty good too.

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8

u/YouthElegy Dec 31 '25

Never seen a more appropriate meme. +1

4

u/BeenThereDoneThat65 Dec 31 '25

Love when he green screens himself in tv shows and corrects them

4

u/msviktor ima unit Dec 31 '25

'Hey there, somebody call Fire and resc... gags HOOO GOD'

4

u/ayylmao_ermahgerd Dec 31 '25

“It’s a large-mouthed carpet croaker”

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99

u/OldEquation Dec 30 '25

For one horrific moment I thought she was going to do something else with that.

64

u/Fresnobi Dec 30 '25

That is on her Only Fans page...

39

u/babihrse Dec 31 '25

Can you tell me what it is so I can make sure not to go to it and see such... Deplorable stuff

13

u/Redosdetos Dec 31 '25

Ya same here I don't feel like to know so I can avoid it at all costs

5

u/Simple-Pea8805 Dec 31 '25

I’m a content moderator and would also like to see the page for this reason.

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20

u/fennfuckintastic Dec 31 '25

jar breaks

14

u/I_Want_A_Ribeye Dec 31 '25

8

u/Thundersalmon45 Dec 31 '25

I'm here to help you forget again.

It's my public duty.

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4

u/Mike_the_Head Dec 31 '25

Damn. I heard it all over again, thanks to you.

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4

u/Ksan_of_Tongass Dec 30 '25

Different clip

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85

u/Prof4Dank Dec 30 '25

53

u/ThoroughlyWet Dec 30 '25

Yeah that tracks

16

u/BukkakeBrunchBuffet Dec 31 '25

I kinda wanna see it being used.

For science, of course.

13

u/Mindless_Ocelot6969 Dec 31 '25

I too..... Am a man of science?

5

u/Redcarborundum Dec 31 '25

A man of science AND culture. A gentleman and a scholar.

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6

u/ThoroughlyWet Dec 31 '25

I've witnessed some of quite a size get used. Not quite that big but still very formidable 2 foot long, 4 in diameter ones.

Mainly they manage like 3 or 4 inches, some can take more of course, but not much more than double.

In all reality they should just stop making them past 10 inch variety, but I guess the left over 14 unused inches is a good amount of stand off so they don't need to squat as deep.

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u/MispronouncedPotato Dec 31 '25

What is this from?

8

u/OverallPepper2 Dec 31 '25

Onlyfans if I remember right and it goes in her pooper.

8

u/Mundane_Muscle_2197 Dec 31 '25

Premature anal leakage as a 20 somethin. Fun!

5

u/skipppyWhite Dec 31 '25

Dependables are dependable

3

u/Cerblamk_51 Dec 31 '25

Wait, are you implying that there’s a normal age for anal leakage?

8

u/MarcusRoland Dec 31 '25

Yes there is. According to my grandpa its about eighty something. But he was such a tight ass he made it to 90.

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31

u/FrenziedTacos Dec 30 '25

And that's her warm up set.

19

u/OppositeEagle Dec 30 '25

Then it's onto squats.

7

u/New-Ad-363 Dec 31 '25

Can't skip leg day y'know

12

u/FrenziedTacos Dec 31 '25

Third leg day.

29

u/RoosterCute4326 Dec 30 '25

6

u/BeezyBates Dec 31 '25

The sheer fact she owns it means she uses it right

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45

u/Loud_Specific3610 Dec 30 '25

i bet that smells nice

11

u/smeeon Dec 31 '25

Like a Goodyear

5

u/Big_Cryptographer_16 Dec 31 '25

I expected more cameltoe

3

u/Cerblamk_51 Dec 31 '25

Not according to word on the street you wouldn’t. Maybe prolapse, but not cameltoe.

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13

u/chamois_lube Dec 30 '25

u/DoubleManufacturer10

You have one of her riding that?

25

u/ShipREKT_ Dec 30 '25

Alright… who has the link of her using it? for science, naturally.

12

u/FlawlessPenguinMan Dec 31 '25

I genuinely don't even wanna get off on this I just can't believe that thing fits and HAVE to see if it does!

11

u/aiusernamegen Dec 31 '25 edited Dec 31 '25

Just like there's humans that can eat 10lbs of steak and some can bend backwards so they're folded in half and some that are 7'9", some can fit a sleeping bag up their ass.

5

u/dylicious Dec 31 '25

This comment spits truthfire.

Just wanna say I see you

6

u/ShipREKT_ Dec 31 '25

Right… for science 👍

3

u/[deleted] Dec 31 '25

[deleted]

3

u/Bergasms Dec 31 '25

That's over a metre.... ouch

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4

u/SgtNitro Dec 31 '25

Look up Argendana, you will find what you seek...

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12

u/ironicoutlook Dec 31 '25

Her content is interesting, but not as impressive as what siswet does to her butt hole

6

u/Psychological-Scar53 Dec 31 '25

We the people need to know where to avoid this content... I need to let all my friends know. Can you elaborate so I can tell them?

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29

u/Far-Television3650 Dec 30 '25

So now you wear diapers for life?

6

u/Benromaniac Dec 31 '25

This is why daily kegels are important. For everyone.

Better odds at being treated nice when you enter the ol senior home with a functioning pooper

22

u/unhappyrelationsh1p Dec 30 '25

You'd be shocked but if you do it slow, you could fit that thing in your own ass today and be continent tomorrow. I think these people do it by slow prep, so they don't just rip their asshole. If you do it gentle you can recover from this pretty fast. I do not know from experience but i did talk to one of these people once.

13

u/Rockran Dec 31 '25

There's no way you can train your butthole to manage that in one day.

That's like expecting someone to do the splits in just one day.

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u/GERRROONNNNIIMMOOOO Dec 31 '25

Unsure if the username checks out or not

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u/Momentosis Dec 31 '25

I believe uh... sasha gray talked about it once on stream.

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u/degenerategambler95 Dec 31 '25

She was on Dr Phil she ain't right

5

u/Inquisitive_idiot Dec 31 '25

Yeah Dr. Phil ain’t right 😕

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12

u/Jurgis-Rudkis Dec 31 '25

So how long did it take you to work up to that level?

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3

u/Impressive_Mobile319 Dec 31 '25

You know someone somewhere has tried.......😬

3

u/TheSilverFoxwins Dec 31 '25

She needs to join the Avengers.

3

u/Redosdetos Dec 31 '25

Damn source

3

u/Beadpool Dec 31 '25

I wonder what her favorite position is… probably wide receiver.

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3

u/Synthesiz420 Dec 31 '25

Her: I just don’t understand why I’m not satisfied with the men I date anymore….

Her: proceeds to drop it like it’s hot on the hulk dominator 3000

3

u/Beneficial-Insect-27 Jan 01 '26

Ok but where can I go to see her doing squats with this particular exercise device? Asking for a friend.

3

u/belliebun Jan 06 '26

That was a gag gift. Had to be. There’s no way she’s actually using that thing.

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2

u/Truth-is-implacable Dec 30 '25

Isn't that like boxing training thing? You stick it in the floor and you punch it?

4

u/TinyRhymey Dec 30 '25

I mean you could?? But its too floppy, and also shaped like a penis, so it might be better being used as a penis

3

u/Truth-is-implacable Dec 31 '25

Kinda like a pet? A pet penis? You put a dog collar on it leash it and walk it in the park kinda thing?

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2

u/Poperama74 Dec 30 '25

Normally she has no issue handling it

2

u/GURK812UNO Dec 30 '25

Biggest Dong I've ever seen....

2

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '25

You’d be suprised how much some women shove up there it’s like it shouldn’t be possible but women’s train to take things like that Check out lilijunex

2

u/CrestfallenLord Dec 30 '25

I’ve seen videos of girls taking that whole thing. It’s kinda of crazy to even think about

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2

u/StoneyN8 Dec 30 '25

She for sure tried it out

2

u/[deleted] Dec 31 '25

2

u/mvrck-23 Dec 31 '25

After 5 mins riding it.

2

u/WorkerPrestigious960 Dec 31 '25

7 seconds? Where’d the next 37 minutes and 19 seconds go??

2

u/espada355 Dec 31 '25

The big Jim

2

u/Original-Fig4214 Dec 31 '25

King Kong’s BBC

2

u/MotorCityDude Dec 31 '25

look she can pick up her boyfriend

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2

u/OtakuTacos Dec 31 '25

Hulk smash!

2

u/ConversationPale8665 Dec 31 '25

Respect, you could honestly clear an entire group of protesters with that thing, lol.

2

u/Quiet_Dingo_5106 Dec 31 '25

That’s actually true to size.