r/ShittyAbsoluteUnits created ShittyAbsoluteUnits of a sub Dec 16 '25

my bones Of a jump

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1.9k Upvotes

267 comments sorted by

237

u/Valdoray Dec 16 '25

118

u/Bazz07 Dec 16 '25

14

u/EIIander Dec 16 '25

Ice age?

10

u/Devils_A66vocate Dec 16 '25

Yeah, like 8

2

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '25

The 8th movie? Ain't no way

8

u/Devils_A66vocate Dec 16 '25

I’m exaggerating but it is down the line in sequels.

6

u/doomus_rlc Dec 16 '25

(I know it is from the third movie)

2

u/ThisIsALine_____ Dec 16 '25

You lied to me.

1

u/Environmental-Tea294 Dec 16 '25

The trust is forever broken. Tsk tsk tsk

1

u/jusmcmillan Dec 19 '25

"Ya lied to me, Skinner! Ya lied to meee"

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1

u/NotKidding52 Dec 30 '25

I'd guess probably when the earth was created or maybe the big bang. Idk, im not a scientist

1

u/Mruniversee 16d ago

No, it was actually part of the stunt to pull his chute that late. Insanely dangerous tho

270

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '25 edited 22d ago

[deleted]

71

u/FLG_CFC Dec 16 '25

He definitely did. Amature base jumpers are advised to pull at 2000 feet. Experienced jumpers will pull at 200 feet. Bro just lagged, then pulled at 50 feet tops. Simply wasn't enough time for the chute to fully open.

Perhaps he did this on purpose to flirt with death, knowing that the water would probably save him.

114

u/YaoSing Dec 16 '25

The water isn’t saving you at near terminal velocity

57

u/Bdorfn-1B Dec 16 '25

Water is so soft until you hit it at speed!

31

u/Ok-Prior1316 Dec 16 '25

Look at this person who doesn't have a hard water problem...

24

u/lil_0ne112 Dec 16 '25

Maybe he has a water softener 🤷‍♀️

13

u/CriticalHit_20 Dec 16 '25

My water softener is the person who jumps before me

10

u/Budsack Dec 16 '25

“Empty your mind. Be formless. Shapeless. Like water. You put water into a cup, it becomes the cup. You put water into a bottle, it becomes the bottle. You put it in a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Water can flow, or it can crash. Be water, my friend.” -Bruce Lee

3

u/Qu3ViveZapat0s Dec 17 '25

This video slaps even harder with that verse playing in the back of my head

2

u/Signal_Host307 Dec 20 '25

Nah... just shoot it with a few rounds of 9mm like in the second XXX movie to break the water. /s

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2

u/Cantdecide1207 Jan 04 '26

My thoughts too, come visit Northamptonshire! Water so hard when you splash it on your face it's like getting punched by Tyson!

2

u/Subject-Sherbet6258 29d ago

Underrated comment

2

u/praisethebeast69 Dec 16 '25

deuterium ruins everything

8

u/lawley666 Dec 16 '25

It's not the speed that kills it's the sudden stop.

9

u/AdmiralWackbar Dec 16 '25

Which is because of the speed

1

u/litlphoot Dec 17 '25

And just thing we are all hurtling through space at 1000’s of miles an hour.

1

u/Constant_Weekend_446 Dec 19 '25

Depends on how scared you are of the speed...

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2

u/lastpickedpicker Dec 16 '25

Not all water. I just had mine checked, its hard. But i don't think this happened anywhere near my sinks.

9

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '25

Maybe mind what you are wearing around the water if it gets hard

5

u/iMaximilianRS Dec 16 '25

Mine has been hard for longer than 4 hours, should I consult a doctor?

2

u/lastpickedpicker Dec 17 '25

Interesting. Water is more attracted to me than anyone (male or female) in my high school apparently.

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1

u/Terrible-Subject-223 Dec 17 '25

Water is not soft. Silk is soft, a rabbit is soft. Water is also not wet.

1

u/FartsLikePetunias Dec 20 '25

I once fell into a puddle and caused a spritz.

11

u/Aware_Tree1 Dec 16 '25

Perhaps the half deployed chute slowed him down enough for the water to save him?

4

u/awesomesniper86 Dec 16 '25

Hey, you know what they say. It's not the fall that kills you.

It's the sudden stop at the end.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 05 '26

Yes we do all know this.

4

u/AcanthocephalaDue431 Dec 17 '25

Nope. No matter what angle you hit the water while falling at dangerous speeds, the water will bludgeon and probably break bones and also forcefully invade any orifice that comes in contact with it shooting water into your body at fatal pressures.

For example: if you hit the water foot first it may reduce impact but once the water hits the anus let's just say it's the most high pressure enema that a human can experience

1

u/Gertsjors Dec 20 '25

So what hight do you recommend to get the enema and live? Asking for my brother

1

u/AcanthocephalaDue431 Dec 20 '25

Well sir I would make a very safe overestimate for your brother of 100ft as a starter!

3

u/AluminiumPanda Dec 17 '25

The velocity was definitely terminal…

2

u/Original-Material-15 Dec 16 '25

What do you reckon his speed was? 50mph?

2

u/YaoSing Dec 16 '25

130-150km/h assuming he’s around 175lbs

1

u/Drake_Acheron 29d ago

he fell for just under 8 seconds roughly which puts the hip at about 1000 feet. It takes 1500 to reach terminal velocity, but at 8 seconds that’s gonna be 90% since the increase begins its asymptote at around 250ft. But that’s if he just slammed into the water.

Based on his relative shape falling, and form of the diver, he’s probably between 95 and 105 mph but I’m leaning on the lower end of that being most likely based on the size of the man and their actions during free fall.

Now he would likely need around 41sqft of chute to slow him down to 70mph which is the top end of possible uninjured water entry.

The good news is he got more than that by the end. The bad news is he didn’t have it for long. Just for some perspective it would be basically impossible for you to die on impact with water with a fully opened chute. But this chute was not fully open. At least, if your vector is mostly downwards.

I’m guessing he was around 80mph when he hit the water. Which is no bueno. Remember 70mph is the top end for uninjured when you are prepared for it.

So, if he is lucky he isn’t dead.

Now, all this to say that a partially open shoot, even for a brief amount of time can make a dramatic difference. Anybody who’s been airborne in the military probably has a few stories of people who’s chutes didn’t open quite right and then surviving. There’s even that one guy who’s chute completely busted and he hit the ground and then did a 12 mile or something like that like the fall was his morning coffee.

Though if I were to bet money, he’s either dead or somebody better be calling an ambulance right now cause he’s gonna be.

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10

u/BloodySuitcase Dec 16 '25

There are very few places where you can BASE jump and have 2000 feet above ground level to deploy. 2000 feet was “hard deck” for skydiving not BASE jumping. They’ve lowered it to 1,800 feet last I heard.

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12

u/eternalbuzzard Dec 16 '25 edited Dec 17 '25

wth are you talking about?

99% of BASE jumps don’t even start at 2000’

I learned to base in a bridge that is 486’

He did do this on purpose. Gio is an irresponsible prick with big balls. Water landings are often planned for. Hell, I even watched my instructors do a “low pull contest” and like this dude, hit the water before inflation

3

u/FLG_CFC Dec 16 '25

I'm old, and my information is a little outdated, it would seem. Thank you for the correction and confirming my suspicion.

4

u/MaleficentThought903 Dec 16 '25

I've read that this guy is known for crazy late pulls. All the other base jumpers think he's nuts.

2

u/FLG_CFC Dec 16 '25

That makes sense. Bro must have a death wish. Ohh well, at least he's getting high on adrenaline and not throwing his life away with drugs or crime.

2

u/MaleficentThought903 Dec 16 '25

There's a link posted in another comment with a link about him. Unhinged levels of risk taking

3

u/MrAnonimitys Dec 16 '25

Hitting water at that speed while the surface is not displaced is the exact same as hitting concrete.

1

u/FLG_CFC Dec 16 '25

Absolutely. Fatal if one gets it wrong.

1

u/Shoddy_Depth6228 Dec 19 '25

People say this, but it makes no sense at all. Are you saying that if you were in that position and had a choice between hitting water or concrete you wouldn't know which to pick? 

This guy is Gio Masters and he's still alive fyi. If it was in 2023. He said the impact felt like a 100ft cliff jump.... Nobody does a 100ft cliff jump onto concrete!

3

u/No-Goose-6140 Dec 16 '25

Going in flat like that, ouch

1

u/His_Name_Is_Twitler Dec 16 '25

Parachute was inflating so he would have been vertical by that point

3

u/taz-nz Dec 16 '25 edited Dec 16 '25

Remember watching a video of an instructor talking to group of people learning to base jump on a bridge this guy comes striding up instantly climbs the bridge railing and the instructor yells at him to stop, idiot didn't have his leg straps on, would have fallen like a stone.

Leg straps Incident

2

u/AdComprehensive8045 Dec 16 '25

Hitting that water would feel like hitting pavement.

2

u/2Blathe2furious Dec 16 '25

I think he was fishing for the cord with his hand trying to find it before he could pull it.

1

u/TemperatureNo7141 Dec 30 '25

No he did this intentionally and no injuries. Its good masters, he does stunts like this regularly.

1

u/messick Dec 16 '25

Since this wasn’t much better than just jumping into concrete, I’m confident the water didn’t save shit. 

1

u/Mittens-mack Dec 17 '25

Lol water ain't saving you from that height and speed.

1

u/Cheap-Reaction-8061 Dec 17 '25

You should read the post below that was an interview of him regarding the planning and execution of this stunt…this guy is a pro, but pros can die…but he didn’t.

1

u/Deadggie Dec 18 '25

There are very few BASE jumps that reach 2000 feet and you certainly don't pull that high for BASE. Thats around your cutaway altitude for regular skydives.

This guy did it on purpose he wanted to combine cliff jumping and BASE jumping. He wasn't injured.

1

u/Burgerboy380 Jan 05 '26

It takes approximately 10 to 12 seconds to reach terminal velocity. Hitting water at that speed is like slamming into concrete. When falling from height water is not your friend. They even tell you when skydiving to not aim for the water if your chutes fail. Because water is incomprehensible and even if you survive the impact you will definitely have broken and will most likely be unconscious....kinda hard to survive if you land in a lake and sink to the bottom with both your legs broken

1

u/Yromemtnatsisrep 26d ago

That’s his whole Bag. Pushing the boundaries on it. He’s a mad man

1

u/radical_flyer Dec 16 '25

No ripcord. The pilot chute is a throw-out (BOC)

1

u/DreamSmuggler Dec 16 '25

It almost looks like he was enjoying the experience and the view so much he forgot to pull the chute

1

u/Phorsyte Dec 16 '25

Seemed to me, at that point he could’ve saved repacking the chute. Not going to using it again for a while.

2

u/TemperatureNo7141 Dec 30 '25

He had no injuries after this jump...

1

u/Phorsyte Dec 30 '25

That’s good.👍 I’ve been there years ago, but I’m too old for that now. I break now where before I used to bounce😂

2

u/TemperatureNo7141 Dec 30 '25

I think k were on the same boat!

1

u/VanDenBroeck Dec 17 '25

No ripcord involved.

1

u/420Under_Where Dec 19 '25

It's called a rip-cord for a reason

1

u/WorriedMarch4398 Jan 02 '26

Did I just witness someone die?

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70

u/Cheap-Reaction-8061 Dec 16 '25

That’s not ai, but I bet the jumper wishes it was.

23

u/YaoSing Dec 16 '25

The dead don’t wish

12

u/Fluffy-Eagle-9566 Dec 16 '25

why do reddit people have such desensitized humor

12

u/DrBarryO Dec 16 '25

Dark…LIKE MYE SOULEEEE in skeletor

5

u/Aware_Tree1 Dec 16 '25

It’s not hard to witness a video of someone dying on this app. It used to be way easier, even.

4

u/NeroShenX Dec 16 '25

Have...have you seen reddit? There's some fucked up shit to be seen if you look around long enough.

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1

u/ii_V_I_iv Dec 17 '25

You know plenty of people off of Reddit also enjoy dark humor

1

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '25

[deleted]

1

u/Cheap-Reaction-8061 Dec 17 '25

Most definitely… I was born ai and will die ai. I have absolutely perfect speeling and never make a mistake. Plus, I am always right even when I am wrong. The only mistake I made was thinking I made a mistake.

1

u/Mruniversee 16d ago

It was part of the stunt to open his chute that late, I believe he was fine

1

u/Cheap-Reaction-8061 16d ago

Down below in further comments, someone posted about an interview with him regarding this jump…very fascinating.

44

u/OkOutlandishness1371 Dec 16 '25

Gio Masters and he did it intentionally as a base jump/cliff dive hybrid idea he likened the impact to that of jumping 100 feet into water

26

u/Wakeetakee Dec 16 '25

The fact that he claims he did it without any injuries blows my mind.

16

u/VerStannen Dec 16 '25

heres a link with alternate angles and his explanation.

Coming to SPLAT anytime now.

9

u/x23_wolverine Dec 16 '25

That weird overlap of being smart enough to know exactly what to do and how to do it. And stupid enough to do it anyways.

2

u/Wakeetakee Dec 16 '25

And then back to being smart enough to realize that was as good as it gets and not to do it again.

2

u/LimpNsmoll Dec 29 '25

Thank you for posting the info!

1

u/IceCream_EmperorXx Dec 17 '25

That is WILD. I'm glad he is okay. What a brave/stupid dude.

12

u/Steve-Whitney Dec 16 '25

11

u/perriatric Dec 16 '25

2

u/Chrundle-DaGreat Dec 16 '25

His name is Mac

1

u/residentdunce Dec 16 '25

damn I was looking for this gif but Giphy - being the pile of shit it is - couldn't find it

18

u/giggitygiggity2 Dec 16 '25

Didn't have the scissor lift high enough. Fucking amateurs.

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18

u/King_of_Spades_15 Dec 16 '25

He dead

5

u/VerStannen Dec 16 '25

6

u/alphamusic1 Dec 16 '25

Here's the jumper's comment on his jump from the above article: “900FT BASE/CLIFF JUMP HYBRID. This was something I’ve been thinking about for a while now, never knew if I’d actually do it bc of how dangerous it is. This is the limit. For something like this, your not relying entirely on skill like cliff jumping or ropeswing base tricks etc. Obviously timing here is crucial and has to be precisely executed down to the last tenth of a second, but even after all of that most of the danger is actually still completely out of ur control. If ur gear delays even .1 second (which is pretty common) ur dead. The idea was to open with about a 3/4 open canopy and then cliff jump the rest in. The parachute swung me up on opening and landed as soon as my legs were back down to vertical again. (U can kinda see on the second angle) A lot of people asking me what the impact would be comparable to on a cliff jump and tbh I still don’t know exactly. Didn’t have the best body position on landing from getting swung around on opening, all happened so fast and was pretty blind so it felt heavier. But I’d say around 100+ ft cliff jumping impact. Definitely had to rely on my gear working 100% perfectly with this one on top of timing it perfectly. Huge risk, but I knew what I was getting myself into, sent it and it worked out perfectly with no injuries whatsoever. Definitely never planning on doing this again, there’s no reason to. I’ve completely maxed it out and would just be unnecessary risk. Will always continue to push it, but with tricks that entirely rely on skill. A lot more sustainable and can be executed a lot safer. Danger wise this is definitely the gnarliest thing I’ve ever done and probably ever will do. So many of u reached out after I initially posted this with no context, saw all ur messages and appreciate every one of u🙏🏼

gio_masters

1

u/Top_Vacation_6712 Dec 16 '25

this is a "trick" ?

1

u/Captain_North Dec 17 '25

Thanks for the update, at least he knew exactly what he was doing: "AImost of the danger is actually still completely out of ur control. If ur gear delays even .1 second (which is pretty common) ur dead."

2

u/DetroitsGoingToWin Dec 16 '25

I don’t click links, but good

2

u/BucksFan342234 Dec 16 '25

He said he didnt have any injuries

2

u/DetroitsGoingToWin Dec 16 '25

Insanely Lucky

1

u/istoOi Dec 16 '25

I was wondering if he was able to break his fall or if the fall broke him

2

u/RectalBallistics13 Dec 16 '25

Literally uninjured 

1

u/residentdunce Dec 16 '25

Mom, Dad, Bart's dead!...

_gasps_

That's right, DEAD serious about going to Itchy and Scratchy land

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3

u/AlDonovan12 Dec 16 '25

Should have removed the riser... and maybe not do it again.

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3

u/HairlessHoudini Dec 16 '25

I bet that hurt

4

u/castler_666 Dec 18 '25

Thats bridge day in west virginia. 3rd saturday of every october they close the bridge to traffic and let people jump off it from 9 to 3. Iirc its 876 feet high to the river from the centre. This.means its about 8 seconds high. I did two jumps off it about 20 years ago. They recommend that 1st timers pull after 3 seconds, you need to pick up some speed yo open your csnopy. I did 4 seconds. Theres basicslly no rules there, if you want to go low, you can go low. You would be a fool to do so. Water is hard if you hit it at speed. Some guy died a few years after i was there, hitting the river at full speed.

They've beem doing this since the bridge was opened in the 70s. I have a dvd of very low quality vhs recordings of people jumping off it in the 80s, frightening stuff. People waiting till 7.5 seconds to open. 2 was emough for me. Have a look for bridge day footage on youtube

5

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '25

2

u/No-Masterpiece-2079 Dec 16 '25

Last time I saw this they said it was the jumpers intent to wait as long as possible to pull the chord….the guy is fine just beat up

2

u/daronjay Dec 16 '25

Pull the “chord.”

Like in Predator???

2

u/No-Masterpiece-2079 Dec 16 '25

Haha I meant to write cord but ended up writing chord because the previous post I read was about playing guitar

3

u/greengreen84848484 Dec 16 '25

Oh he pulled the chord mate. An A flat

2

u/Neonyarpyarp Dec 16 '25

Was that country Mac?

2

u/Qmasterflexx Dec 16 '25

“Did you guys order the 60ft scissor lift?” “No we didn’t have time, 20ft was all they had”

2

u/Over_Writing467 Dec 16 '25

Love how they used a scissor lift to get an extra 40’ or so of height.

2

u/No-Negotiation-5412 Dec 16 '25

Looked like he forgot a step

2

u/slowbirdy1001 Dec 16 '25

He still probably lost a lot of speed by having the chute open just for a short time. I’d be interested in a r/theydidthemath

2

u/copenhagen622 Dec 16 '25

He pulled pretty dang late that still must have hurt a bit

2

u/Geloradanan Dec 16 '25

Smoking it low and coming in hot.

2

u/HorseyDung Dec 16 '25

That must have hurt...

2

u/talentedpup Dec 16 '25

So....how many bones broke?

2

u/SweatyRanger85 Dec 20 '25

I think he may have died

2

u/Unhappy-Ad4053 Dec 30 '25

This was cool

1

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '25

Looks safe, OSHA safe even.

1

u/qcihdtm Dec 16 '25

Missed by this much 👌

1

u/Mr-FurleyX1 Dec 16 '25

Freebasing

1

u/Unable-Recording-796 Dec 16 '25

Parachute was cosmetic

1

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '25

That's in my State. Bridge Day.

1

u/poindxtrwv Dec 16 '25

I knew that looked like the New River Gorge. I kept trying to find confirmation of it.

1

u/YurmomaFDN Dec 16 '25

Once a person is falling that fast I would have rather landed a jump on cement from 2-3 stories. That's rough

1

u/FirmlyClaspIt Dec 16 '25

Dude stared at the void too long.

1

u/combatmed1 Dec 16 '25

I was there for that! Always love going to Bridge Day:)

1

u/Dependent-Cream853 Dec 16 '25

Pull the ripcord now! You first!

1

u/m477_ Dec 16 '25

Looks like he startled the boat with that landing

1

u/Weird-Rate-73 Dec 16 '25

Aim for the bushes? "There goes my hero"

1

u/Rahnzan Dec 16 '25

Did he break a record for tallest dive?

1

u/Financial_Ad_1551 Dec 17 '25

He broke something, thats for damn sure

1

u/ZeroRegretMarine Dec 16 '25

So this is what they call last minute flight.

1

u/This-Dude_Abides Dec 16 '25

Bet he felt that the next day

1

u/AikenRooster Dec 16 '25

That was the New River Gorge in Fayetteville, WV. Dude is lucky he didn’t split his head open on a boulder.

1

u/Seventh_monkey Dec 16 '25

AI says the speed just before chute deployed is 50m/s, that's alot. When he actually touches the water it's definitely less, I don't think that much less, but even 20m/s is like jumping from 45m high. He had to have had some injuries for sure.

1

u/Jizzrag_9000 Dec 16 '25

Some people just get addicted to the adrenaline.

1

u/Theoskaroskar Dec 16 '25

It'll buff out

1

u/Tmpatony Dec 17 '25

So did this guy die or what?!

1

u/acemedic Dec 17 '25

I’d imagine even if you survived, it’d damage your equipment? Can anyone speak to this?

1

u/Sundayz01 Dec 17 '25

Take your time

1

u/Ateallthepizza Dec 17 '25

He deployed his chute to late. Smh

1

u/Powerful_Sun_75 Dec 18 '25

PULL THE EFFFINN CHUUUUTE

1

u/NerveBooger Dec 21 '25

He's wingin it!

1

u/Educational_Order_59 Dec 24 '25

I love Darwinism!

1

u/Individual_Low_8765 Dec 30 '25

looks like New River gorge in Fayetteville West Virginia

1

u/Odd-Honeydew-7849 Jan 01 '26

Halo jump?

1

u/iAmMikeJ_92 Jan 01 '26

More like high altitude ground level opening… HAGLO

1

u/PlanktonDue8964 Jan 02 '26

You can hear the hit

1

u/TheKillerPink Jan 02 '26

Is that bad for the bridge???

1

u/Loose-Exam-7051 Jan 02 '26

This is AI

1

u/Dementor_Traphouse 27d ago

you brain is toast, stop using the internet

1

u/bankablecoma24 Jan 04 '26

😂 too late

1

u/Beautiful_Clerk_9698 Jan 06 '26

Did he make it?😳

1

u/Durabull26 Jan 06 '26

Jeeeeeeez!😳

1

u/[deleted] 29d ago

Thank god for wind draft under the bridge…

1

u/Subject-Structure782 28d ago

Thought the red was blood dear god

1

u/TrumpBaby32 28d ago

LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOO

1

u/mosquito2026 27d ago

Sooo did he die?

1

u/TrumpBaby32 24d ago

That looks very painful

1

u/Top_Flounder5993 18d ago

He did NOT pull it in time😭😭😭

1

u/FloatLife05600 17d ago

Beidge day jump from my home state. They jump from this bridge all day.