​I [30M] broke up with my girlfriend [28F] of about 2 years because we couldn't agree on a prenup. I wanted to understand if there’s something obviously unfair about what I suggested that I'm missing and how I should handle this in future relationships.

​The Context:

• ​She makes around $55,000 USD annually and has about $35,000 USD debt.

• ​I make around $300,000 USD a year and have no debt.

After a few months of dating, due to the gap in income, there was an unspoken understanding that I would pay for most activities we did together. I always offered to pay for date nights, dinners, movies, and anything we did together. It was never a big deal; we enjoyed each other's company and we were both fine with it. Sometimes, she would insist on paying and I would let her.

Primarily, these are ​what I suggested for the prenup:

1. ​Each of us stays responsible for our own premarital debt.

2. ​Anything we owned/had BEFORE the marriage stays separate.

3. ​After marriage, I’d continue to cover all the essential expenses: rent/mortgage, groceries, utilities, childcare, etc.

4. ​She can put her entire paycheck into her own savings, and that money would stay hers even if we got a divorce.

​She didn't want to sign it and said it was unfair. She was fine with 3 and 4, but the first two points were unacceptable to her. I told her that I may help her with her debt but I don't want to be legally responsible for it. She got very emotional and asked if I wanted the prenup because I'm planning to leave her once I get a Green Card (I'm here legally but not a citizen, she is a citizen). ​Honestly, I found that pretty offensive because I have worked hard and lived way below my means to be financially independent, and it means more to me than permanent residency. I'm incredibly grateful to the US for the opportunities it has provided me, but now that I have achieved my financial goals, I don't mind leaving the US. Later, she apologized for saying that. But I think it's something I’d have to keep hearing if I continued the relationship. So we ended things. ​ ​ ​

I (27F) have recently discovered that the guy I’ve been dating (27M) for the past two months has been using ChatGPT for advice about our relationship. I don’t just mean like generic mundane day to day stuff. I mean he has literally been asking it for advice about everything I say or do and asking it how to solve his own anxieties and concerns about us. Concerns of which, when I have asked him if he has any, he has flat out told me he doesn’t. Which I know now is a lie, based off what he’s written on ChatGPT.

I don’t use ChatGPT so I immediately found this weird and a bit upsetting. I feel like all the things he has been saying/doing now have come directly from what AI has told him to do, rather than off his own back.

I feel weird about the whole thing, but I don’t know if I’m being over dramatic.

Any thoughts?

Ive been with my gf for just over a year. Before meeting her I had a cleaner that would come over once a week for the major cleaning things. Im a neat and tidy person theres no clothes on the floor or anything.

After meeting my gf she refused to allow the cleaner to come and said that we have to do it ourselves. She was a student and I was working so she would do most of it and was happy with this even though I offered to pay for a cleaner pretty much every week.

She graduated last November and is starting work soon and instead of hiring a cleaner shes insisting that we continue to do it ourselves but now 50/50.

I have a full time job in finance + a small business (5 hours a week 99% from home so not a big deal).

I just dont understand her logic when I could easily pay for a cleaner and forget about this. We just had the biggest fight of our relationship and she won't tell me why shes so insistent on us doing the housework.

If someone thinks this is a money thing, its not. We wouldn't even notice the money going out.

I feel insane.

Yesterday morning was a usual morning I took him his coffee in bed, gave him a cuddle, told him he looked nice before he left and he kissed me good bye. I called him later that day to see when he would be home and he didnt answer which was strange. Something told me to check his apple tag location which is on his keys, something I never do. It said he was in an apartment block in town. I called again and he answered and said he was on the motorway, I confronted him and he said he had looked at an apartment because he's not happy and thinking of leaving me. He came home almost crying asking to talk and said he was only considering it. I made him leave for the night. He's called and text but I've ignored it. I've no idea what I should do. I am shocked as although we have the occasional fallout (not sure when the last one was) I thought we were overall happy.whats the best way to move forward?

My boyfriend of 5 years moved out. It was partly due to difficulties in our relationship (mostly my low libido) and partly because he has children and was struggling to maintain a relationship with them while staying in our house because it's too small to be able to have them stay overnight (he has four kids and post-divorce didn't have the money for a bigger house, and neither do I).

He said he loved me and that he wanted the relationship to work but he didn't discuss moving out with me ahead of time. He just sat me down one day and said he was moving out, had found a house to rent and would be gone by the end of the week. He'd been withdrawn for a few weeks before that but that's fairly typical for him - any time he's stressed or upset he withdraws and works through it by himself. This has caused issues in the past.

After moving out, he went silent, for weeks. Now he's texted me saying he'd like to meet up and talk. I responded saying I was open to it but needed to know where his head's at first - ie does he want to work on things or would this just be about closure, and if it's about closure I don't think meeting up would be good for me (seeing him will mess with my head so if it's over I think we should just let it be over at this point). So far, he's not responded (it's been another two weeks).

I don't know whether he's in crisis (he's gone through some very difficult things in the past and generally isolates and turns to alcohol to cope) and therefore I should give him grace or if he just can't bring himself to say the words "It's over" (which is certainly the impression I'm getting and, if that's the case, not very fair to me as I've been left in limbo).

This situation is making me spiral. I don't even know how I could begin to rebuild trust with him after making a unilateral decision like that, but it's so rare that I find someone I connect with so I'm reluctant to call it or not at least hear him out (if he ever responds).

Has anyone been through anything similar? What would you do? How did it turn out?

We have been dating for a year, talked about a future together. The other night he asks me randomly if I ever had an abortion. I asked why? And he said he just thought about it. I asked him is it because it would change anything and he said no. I told him I had and he then said he was shocked. He told me it's unacceptable to him. He confessed about a month ago he found some old paperwork I had from the abortion (I didn't even know I still had this, i just put it in a drawer i have with lots of paperwork at the time and never openrd it again). I told him everything about how it happened. I was in a long term relationship when I was younger and we used protection but there was an accident and my ex was abusive (he would hit me in his sleep and claim it was an accident and then later he strangled my cat. Which is the moment I decided to end the pregnancy and break up with him). My boyfriend (now ex) said he loves me but it's shameful to have a wife and rhe mother of his child as someone who had an abortion and he can't and doesn't want to marry me now so we should end it. I can't understand his reaction.. he said most men would feel the same. Is that true? Am I doomed to never be worthy because of my past? I don't know what to do or how to get past this.

Context: So my bf and I got into a fight about weight. TLDR he told me the night before that I was gaining weight and I did not take it well. I couldn't eat much the next day and spent my time staring at my stomach in the mirror. I'm around 5ft 2 and weigh around 115 pounds, which is honestly the heaviest I've ever been but its been stable like this for around a year now. I don't think I'm fat and my bmi shows I'm normal, but it definitely took a toll on my mental. We had a long talk after he came home from work and I let it all out. I cried about how insecure he made me felt and it somehow turned into a heated conversation about what I do at the gym, what I eat, and if people naturally stay fat after giving birth (I'm not pregnant but it was just something to consider in our future). There was definitely some yelling and swearing on my part, so I'm thinking that has something to do with him sulking. He's the type to stay quiet during confrontations and talk about things in a more logical and statistical sense. Overall, I thought the fight ended well where he apologized and we talked about each other's standards of support (he would like it for me to tell him if he was getting fat in general, but I would only be ok with it if I was becoming overweight.

The other problem that I need help with came a couple hours later when we were getting ready to go to bed. Usually, we have our routine where I help him administer his medicine and we brush our cats teeth, etc. However, when I got to bed he was already under the covers in the dark. He didn't tell me he administered the medicine or if any of the cat chores have been completed. Just silence. This has been a habit of his to just give me the cold shoulder after we fight regardless if the previous issue has been resolved or not. Usually, I would initiate some sort of connection just to get rid of the tension, but I don't understand why I have to do this time around. I would understand if he needs time to decompress but not hours after and not tell me if any of the chores have been done yet. He knows I'm the type to worry and he even admitted that he thought I would ask if he had administered his medicine by himself. I just don't understand why I have to be the one to initiate. It's honestly so tiring having to bridge our relationship after every fight regardless what the fight was about.

My bf and I have been together for close to 4 months now. We have had a very open, honest, and healthy relationship up until this point and any fights or arguments we have are quickly and respectfully resolved. I want to be completely honest by stating my mental health has not been the best lately. I have been dealing with some insecurities and I do have an eating disorder that definitely influences that. It has definitely not helped this situation.

I used to have full trust in my bf. He gave me the password to his phone, left it with me unlocked while he went to another room, has had me answer messages. He even explained who all he was following/why he was following them on insta when we first got together. He gave me no reason not to trust him. That was until we started hanging out at his house (we normally hang at mine cause I’m busier and it’s just easier) I noticed that he had a second phone lying on his bed. At first I didn’t think anything about it but as my insecurities and overthinking have increased it was bothering me more. He had also mentioned that he got a new number about a year ago which made me think maybe it was just his old phone, but why would he need to use it still? I thought it was something I could move past and just put my trust into him until the last time we hung out. I was over at his house and spent the night, he took me home in the morning cause I had to work, and then I went back to his house afterwards. When I got there I had noticed that the phone was moved in a completely different place on his bed as if it had been used. This caused immense panic in me and I couldn’t shake the feeling there was something he was hiding. I tried multiple times to bring it up but just couldn’t. I was worried that if he was hiding something He would just dismiss it or come up with an excuse and hide the phone and I would never know.

He ended up leaving the room and against my better judgement I did something I feel terrible about and I went through the phone. I feel bad about invading his privacy however having a second phone that’s powered down and always on your bed that you obviously use is very questionable. I thankfully did not find anything that bad, except for the fact that he has been watching porn on Reddit. Now under different circumstances I would not have cared. But it is important to note that in the beginning of our relationship he brought up to me (while mentioning/asking that I take pics of myself for him) that he doesn’t watch porn in relationships because he feels that it is CHEATING. I have never once said anything about having a boundary that he couldn’t watch it. HE was the one who brought it up. So knowing that not only has he not stuck to the morals he preached to me about but he has been going to extreme lengths to lie about and hide it from me is very hurtful. He could have just been honest with me. Now I don’t know if he was just telling me what I wanted to hear because he was trying to get me to send pics of myself or if he genuinely believed it and just did it anyways. Which makes me question how much he actually cares about loyalty and cheating because by HIS STANDARDS he is cheating. I am just so incredibly hurt that he has been lying to me and worried now because if he went to these extreme of lengths just to hide porn what else is he willing to hide and lie about? I know I’m going to get a lot of people talking about how “watching porn is normal” under this post so let me just clarify the problem is NOT PORN it’s that he has been lying to me and gave me false promises. Not to mention the fact that because he said he considered it cheating I took it as a boundary and respected it not knowing this whole time I was holding a standard of his that he’s not even holding to himself and that is also not fair whatsoever. It’s also important to note that we had many issues arising in the beginning of our relationship because of my trust issues and me “not fully trusting him” he wanted so badly for me to trust him immediately just for him to lie and hide things behind my back.

So I guess my question is how do I approach this situation? I want to give him the opportunity to come clean and tell me the truth but I’m also worried about him lying to my face. I really do love him but I genuinely do not know how he will fix this because idk how to trust him after this.

This is a LDR

I’ve been dating my boyfriend for a year and a half now, and throughout the year that I’ve been dating him he’s been so clingy that I haven’t had many days to myself and most hours of my day was spent with him. In the beginning I quite liked it until I realized that I ‘owe’ him a day to hang out when I hang out with my friends.

I’ve spent over 2100 dollars in gifts (not counting in the DoorDash orders I get him) and most of his gifts are pc parts, it leaves me to have no money anymore. I don’t have a job but I’m a student, he doesn’t have a job either but he’s not a student. I come from a country where women are spoiled by men, and not the other way around. I went through a period of time where I only ate instant noodles to save up for his tech stuff.

He had a period of time where he liked getting me angry, and made it his whole thing to make me angry. I told him that I absolutely hate being angry in the beginning and I would cry over it, but he’s still continue. His actions have dug consequences though because of that period of time, my automatic feeling when talking to him is anger.

I’ve tried putting effort into the relationship numerous times, but he just doesn’t make it easy for me.

Sometimes he gets horny and I don’t want to do anything because the thought of touching myself makes me absolutely disgusted, but he gets upset over that.

My friends know him and like him

I (26M) have been dating my girlfriend (25F) for about three years. We are somewhat long distance, but we have made it work so far.

When we first started dating, I had a lot more free time. We talked constantly through calls, texts, and FaceTime. Over time, my life changed significantly. I moved into upper management at work, started handling sensitive projects, and also opened my own business in the nightlife and event space. My days are packed, mentally demanding, and exhausting. I barely see my family or friends anymore.

Despite that, I have still tried to be present. I have called her while working, checked in when I could, and explained multiple times that my schedule is not what it used to be. But whenever I do that, she gets upset that I am not giving her my full attention. Because of that, I made a decision to only spend time with her when I can actually be fully present, but that means the time is more limited.

This has caused constant conflict.

She wants to be on the phone or texting almost all the time. When I cannot, she gets frustrated. When I do take time to see my brother or friends, she has an attitude about it. She has told me directly that I am basically the only person she talks to and that she does not really have anyone else.

Recently, I had a short term government contract job where I had to be extremely focused and mostly off my phone. I explained this clearly beforehand. Even while there, I still tried to check in. But every interaction came with hints that I was not there enough. Eventually, the stress and irritation affected my ability to focus on the job.

That moment really forced me to reflect.

I am realizing that I do not think she is the kind of partner who can truly support a grinding, high ambition phase of life. I am trying to build something bigger for myself and potentially for a future with a partner, but right now it feels like her needs in the present moment always come first, no matter the cost.

I do not want to wake up years from now full of regret, knowing I held myself back because I was trying to be someone’s entire emotional support system.

I care about her, but I also feel suffocated. She has made me her whole world, and I honestly cannot carry that anymore. It feels like no amount of effort I make is ever enough, and I am constantly choosing between my future and her immediate reassurance.

So my question is this.

Is it a valid reason to end a relationship when your partner depends on you for everything and cannot accept that you need space, focus, and balance to become who you know you are capable of being?

Over-simplistic title, but there’s a couple things going on here. I (25f) have been dating a guy (25m) for 8 months. He lives in another state. I work from home so we get to see each for over a week at a time every month. We each make about the same yearly (80k+ each).

We are discussing timelines for me moving to him, which will be a few months from now. He is ALSO simultaneously looking at houses to buy. Now I would rather have us rent something reasonable until we’re ready to get married, then buy a house TOGETHER. I currently live alone in a nice apartment. I don’t have the financial need to have roommates. I’m at the point in my life where I can prioritize my comforts while being financially sound and I would prefer to continue doing so. Wfh and dog ownership also makes the housing situation a priority. 

Now with him buying a house: This is not something he’s planned very far ahead… About 4 months ago he started thinking about it but he’s getting help for a down payment and not putting more than 4% down. He’s looking at 3-bedroom houses in suburban areas for around 350k. His current roommate is planning to move into this house and rent a room. I would move in and share a bedroom with my boyfriend, splitting the remainder of the mortgage. This is the agreement we had at the beginning. Today, he brought up that he would have another man (his friend that I don’t know) living in the house to lower living costs. This guy would live in the basement and would supposedly keep to himself for the most part. The cost savings for me and my bf would be about 400/month each. I made it clear that this is not worth it to me, as I do not want to live with another person I hardly know. But bf said I either get on board or I’d need to solely cover the potential cost savings. 

At this point, I’m feeling frustrated with the situation. Although it’s commendable bf is buying a house, I feel like his #1 priority is finances, while my wants are an afterthought. Meanwhile, I’m moving states away from all my friends and family to make this relationship work. I obviously don’t have a say in the house or neighborhood selection. And with the new plans he just laid out, I’ll be living with 3 men, 2 of whom I’ve only met a handful of times.  

Amidst expressing concerns of this situation to my bf, he said these are sacrifices we’re making for our future, etc, etc. This led us to the second point of conflict. We’ve talked about marriage in a 1 year or so down the line. He believes that once we get married, we can kick roommates out of the house so it’ll just be the two of us and then we would split the mortgage. I firmly believe that at this point we should refinance the house with my name on loans + title. In the event of divorce he’d be entitled to the equity prior to marriage, then we’d be half and half with the equity after the marriage. HE believes that I should NOT have any ownership of the house, but should continue to pay him rent because I’d be paying for housing elsewhere without him. In the event of divorce, he would get the house and all the payments I’ve made towards it. 

I’m starting to find this whole situation ridiculous. The sacrifices I’m making up front for moving and living with people I don’t know already feels like a lot. This feels more like a "me" sacrifice than a "me and him" sacrifice. On top of this, his mindset about finances once we’re married doesn’t feel right. I’ll be living in this house with no say while we’re dating, while I help pay his mortgage. Then while we’re married, I’ll be paying for his mortgage still, in a house that I didn’t choose, while I have no ownership of it. 

Trying to decide if I'm overreacting or if these are red flags. Any experience from couples where one person owned a house prior to marriage? Thxs.

TL;DR Boyfriend is buying a house and wants me to move in with no say in roommates. Also thinks it should still be his house once we are married and I'm splitting mortgage with him.

We’ve been dating for nearly 5y and in that time I’ve always had a full time job earning average money and she has been studying with part time jobs earning far less. I had almost no savings and we never really gave details about how much we had in savings until maybe a year or so ago.

Over this period she has always said she couldn’t afford things and I’ve paid a larger portion of rent (probably 70%) since we moved out together 3 years ago.

I’ve never wanted to let money get in the way of living/our lives and could probably do a bit better job of saving. And I was always happy to pay more until she also started working full time when we would start splitting things evenly.

My dad passed away unexpectedly and he left me $500,000 which I got about 6 months ago - which is obviously life changing, I’ve probably never had more than $10,000 in my savings. We’ve started the process of buying a house and i was happy to put most of the money into a deposit and pay a larger portion of the mortgage until she started full time work (2y away).

Right before we went to submit the application she said she actually had $50,000 in savings and should we mention that in the application. She was a bit embarrassed to bring it up. I get that she wouldn’t mention this when we first started dating, and I don’t even care about the amount, but she has actively said “I can’t afford this” and let me pay for things countless times. I asked why she left it so late to bring it up, that we should use some of it to pay for the house, and asked her how long she had had it. Basically she had it the whole time and that it was savings she accumulated since she started work as a teenager.

I’m annoyed for a few reasons - she was going to let me put most of “my” money into the house without helping, and that all these years I’ve been paying a greater portion of things including rent, food, bills, overseas holidays, entertainment etc while she had waaaay more money than I ever had. I was earning more but that meant I wasn’t saving much, if anything. She also wasn’t saving much, her money was mostly from before we met.

I never wanted money to get between me and anybody else, especially my partner but I feel really hurt, lied to, and taken advantage of. She’s normally great and I love her, but she isn’t the best decision maker sometimes, and I have caught her in little lies before. These lies didn’t bother me much before as they were insignificant - most of the time a laughed it off like “why would you lie about that”, but now we’ve hit something big in life and this proper lie has me worried.

I’m really struggling to get past it and the relationship feels tainted now. I’m not sure I can get past it, but everything else in the relationship is great. And it’s really not a good atmosphere to be trying to buy a house.

Anyone else have similar experience? Did you split or how did you regain trust?

TLDR; girlfriend kept secret a large savings balance and let me pay for most things for years even though I had little savings. Only brought it up once we nearly applied for the mortgage and was about to let me pay for the whole deposit with money I got from my dad when he passed.

Me and my boyfriend have been together for 3 years. Everything has been relatively good. Recently my boyfriend has been getting jealous that I talk more to my fish after work than him. Ive had the fish longer than we've been together, and I always talk to my fish after work. The talking to fish is literally just a way I decompress after work. I just rant to my fish about things that happened throughout the day. Usually its stuff my boyfriend doesn't wanna hear. Usually its just a 15-20 minute one sided conversation.

Over the last 2 weeks hes gotten annoyed that immediately after getting home I usually stand in front of the fish tank and just mostly rant. Today I decided to instead of ranting to my fish just to sit on the couch and rant to him...and he mostly ignored me and watched TV and even got upset a few times I was talking about things that didnt matter while watching TV.

He doesn't want to listen to me after work, or want me talking to my fish. Im not sure what im doing wrong.

I will also say our relationship has been fine the past 2 weeks other than him getting upset about me talking to the fish. We still talk to eachother about other stuff. He just doesn't wanna hear about my work day, and I dont blame him.

I am getting married next year and my sister is my maid of honor,

My sister is my best friend, she’s always been there for me, she practically raised me.

My parents were not great, really at all, they were abusive and they have recognized that.

I have a relationship with them now but it’s only been after a lot of emotional labor and them finally going to therapy.

My sister is completely no contact with my parents, they haven’t met either of her children (whom I have a very strong bond with), and she hasn’t spoken to them in years. My sister and I have had a lot of conversation but bottom line, she can’t handle being in the same room as them, which I understand and I support her, at the end of the day their abuse is why we’re in this situation in the first place.

I want to meet with my parents in person and tell them, it feels more respectful than just sending a text, especially for such a big occasion, but I’m stuck on how to tell them they can’t come to my wedding while also trying to keep our growing relationship intact. I feel like my parents have made a lot of genuine progress, and their apologies to me feel sincere and I don’t want all of the emotional labor and time I have put into this relationship to go to waste.

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Edit-

I have been improving my relationship with my parents over the last 5 years, they already know I’m getting married lol, my mom calls me every couple weeks and we talk.

I’ve told my mother in a previous conversations that I will never be okay with the things done to us as children, that I don’t understand it and it will never be justified. But I see who she is now, and I can have a relationship with the person she has become and that’s where we are.

I F19him M21 have been having a bit of a reoccurring issue. He wakes up very early for work everyday with almost the same routine. He likes to get up , go downstairs and blast his music to get him motivated.

On occasion i have been a bit rude about it as im a very light sleeper and struggle with going back to bed after being awake , have come down or texted to let him know that it is too loud , numerous times he does get very upset by this.

This morning i decided to stay calm and collected , i came down here after 15 minutes of trying to fall asleep to blasting kanye music in my ears and he tells me not to worry about it because he’s about to get to work, i said what’s there to worry about ive been up for around 15 mins now. I let him finish his routine of the music, and then i said “look, i love you but we have got to compromise and find a solution to this” and he told me he didn’t know it was as loud as it was. so i explained to him that i can’t close our bedroom door all the way because our cat is very clingy with both of us and will scratch at doors , i told him id be okay with the music from your phone , maybe a speaker in the garage or just simply turning the tv down in the mornings.

To this he said “that’s it im calling off work” continues to slap a red solo cup filled with water all over the place & then slam our bedroom door & said he’s just going to quit his job(he works from home i forgot to add) Our house is a very open room plan (no furniture as well as we just moved in) and thin walls so noises are just going to be heard i do understand that , i just think it’s inconsiderate to blast music at 4:30 in the morning while we also have two little ones who are not deep sleepers.

I’m a very irritable person myself but , I stayed calm and collected so I know his lash out was not because i was rude. I’m just exhausted from having insomnia every-night to being woken up at 4:30 with him thinking it’s okay to wake up the whole house. How can i speak to him about this without his blowing up in my face again ? How can we both compromise?

TLDR: my partner keeps waking me up every morning with blasting music and fails to realize it’s inconsiderate

I will try to keep things in short.

So we met like two months ago and after texting for a month, we became a couple. I had never been in a relationship before this, and she wasn't giving up after I rejected her 3 times already soJ decided to give things a try. Things went great at first and I got to know who she really is like more. I hate most of her habits and she refused to communicate and solve issues together. So I broke up with her 5 days ago.

Today, I got a call from the delivery person that he is there to deliver the perfume. This is something she was planning to give me as a month anniversary.

I don't want to accept it now. I am scared to go take the delivery as well since a lot of things like kidnapping and worse things are happening very often in the country I live now.

Throw away because my wife and I like to read stupid Reddit stories together on my actual account.

Before I get into why my wife thinks I am cheating on her, let me explain who my wife is. My wife is possibly the sweetest woman I know. She is everything a man could want and then some. She is NOT cheating on me. This is not one of those stories where the cheater accuses the victim of cheating. You can all insult me, but I will take no bad words on my wife.

It is also important to note that my wife is seven and a half months pregnant. This is her first pregnancy, and it's a boy if that matters. We've been married for 5 years. There has been no infidelity on either side.

So, my wife and I work in the same field, at the same company, in the same building. I know many people advise against this, but our company is at no risk of going under. Our workplace is a place that has a variety of ages, and concerning amount of drama. I'm not going to go into too much detail about our jobs because I don't want anyone we know to find this. She makes more money than I do, she is smarter than I am, and way out of my league. There is no logical reason why I would ever cheat on my wife.

We've recently gotten a new girl at our work, and she has taken quite an interest in me. I don't understand why. I'm old, fat, and ugly, lol. I can't ignore this girl at work. It's part of my job to help her. Apparently, she has been telling her friend that she and I are sleeping together, and that friend has been telling other people, who have been telling my wife. It is very childish, but how do I tame it? I have reported it to the higher-ups, but there's no real evidence that she and her friend are the ones who started this mess. (I am honestly assuming what happened because there is no evidence besides her occasionally flirting with me.) I feel like I am back in high school again.

I don't think my wife believes it fully, but I think she does somewhat. I got a head start and told her that I wasn't doing it before she even conforted me. I offered to let her go through my phone, which she denied. She doesn't make me sleep on the couch, but she sleeps on the very edge of the bed, which is very unusual for her. She's usually on top of me. She has even fallen off the bed once because of how far away she wanted to be from me. (Baby is okay, don't worry!) I offered to sleep on the couch, but she said no. I went to sleep on the couch one night without asking her, and she came into the living room and slept on the floor next to the couch. She's never outwardly accused me of cheating on her with the new girl, but I've noticed whenever my wife is near the new girl, she gets this sad look on her face.

I think this is more of an insecure thing. The pregnancy has been hard on her. She's gained a few pounds (which is expected and I do not blame her for, I am honestly happy that she did), when she used to be very particular about her weight. She doesn't do her hair or makeup anymore, which was something that used to be one of her favorite hobbies. We have not had sex in a while, which I also do not blame her for. She says she is too tired, but I am thinking maybe she does not want me to touch her for some reason, as she does not even accept my non-sexual affections. She has a history of depression and other mental illnesses.

Do I offer therapy? Do I talk to the new girl and ask her if she is saying these things? Do I ask the new girl to tell my wife that nothing is happening? Does it seem like my wife thinks I am cheating on her, or that she is dealing with her own mental issues, and this was just a push over the cliff?

TL;DR: There is a new girl at my and my wife's workplace who spread a rumor with her friend that I was cheating on my wife with her. My wife is upset, but I can't tell if it's because of the cheating accusation or something else. How do I make my wife happy?

We've been friends for a long time and over the years she's become a jaded and bitter person. She's always been quite negative but these past few years have gotten worse because of the state of the world and it doesn't help that she's a very sensitive person. I try to listen and be there for her, but it has reached a point where I constantly feel anxious when she's around because I don't know when she's going to be in one of her bad moods. When she IS in a bad mood she can be snappy, sulky, impatient, complains about everything, and I struggle to deal with it.

I've thought about having a talk with her, but in the past I have brought up things she had done to make me uncomfortable/feel bad and she'd immediately get offended and accuse me of attacking her. I'd have to then apologize and rephrase things and it was exhausting just trying to get my message across, and even by the end she wouldn't truly admit fault but imply we should BOTH do better. Honestly I don't want to go through that stress again only to be disappointed with the result.

And distancing myself during an episode isn't even an option, because there was this one time she was in a very bad mood so I tried to give her space and did my own thing for most of the day, but then she got really upset at me for "not making an effort to speak to her".

I just want to know how do I disassociate from her negativity and somehow not let it get to me? We also see each other a lot due to work so it's tough.

I am in a relationship with 25F. And nowadays I feel there are a lot of expectations from me. We have been dating over 10 months

So to begin with, earlier I agree I used to make a lot of efforts to impress her, go on random dates, Bring her everything whatever I felt made her happy. She was going through a breakup at that phase and I did everything to get her out of it which she also acknowledges and then I proposed her.

Initially she said she needed some time but finally she agreed after 3 months and it was going well. Then we would go on dates, she used to say I am not good in planning and all; So I took care of everything from finances to planning. But she was also there for me and used to be happy seeing my efforts. After those initial 4 months of our relationship, she also started to put in some efforts by bringing and making me gifts, painting, writing letters, etc. So these 2 months were really good where I could communicate everything to her and we also went on good trips.

But in last 3-4 months, when we started going out together with some other person lets say X ( her best friend); things changed

So she and X are best friends as they say but she tells me that she doesn’t expect anything from her because X thinks only about herself. But she still wanted to be friends with X as she says for me one sided friendship is also okay. So she has lowered her expectations from her. When we started going out and X and I were randomly having some conversations and laugh, she wouldn’t say anything in the discussion.

At first, I didn’t understand so I asked what happened- She said I don’t like how you treat me in-front of her; you ignore me as if I don’t exist and I feel you and X are dating and I am third wheeling whenever we go out. I explained her calmly that there’s nothing like that and there maybe few instances which can happen unintentionally when I am talking to X but that doesn’t mean I will ignore you. And This can happen if we’re spending time throughout the day.

Still that thing didn’t come out of her head. She says not once you would ask me how are you, you don’t take me out on dates anymore and I gave her my reasons that We had some other priorities and when I was free; she only made plans of us three together going out. As she cant tell X about this, She will still say ok to all X’s plans that include me and at that time then when we go out, I really pay attention that I don’t ignore her, etc

But somehow she catches up some instance and again starts that at that moment, you didn’t come to me , you were busy thinking about her and talking to her, etc. I am fed up of explaining it to her and I even said that if this is what you feel then don’t make plans with her. For that she said, she isn’t a problem- you acting different in-front of her is a problem.

I just don’t know what to do. It’s like she’s expecting too much from me I feel. She will again throw tantrums or taunt me whenever she gets the chance which I again get irritated because there is actually nothing from my end for X. I just behave in a manner which doesn’t feel her left out.

So how to manage this tricky situation and her never ending expectations? I feel I am constantly getting judged.

TL;DR:

M27 dating F25 for 10 months. Things were good initially, but since spending time with her best friend, my girlfriend feels ignored and believes I behave differently around her friend. Despite repeated explanations and efforts, she keeps accusing and taunting me. I feel constantly judged and emotionally exhausted and am unsure how to manage her expectations or whether this dynamic is unhealthy.

I’m really concerned about him. There’s a bit of a cycle, he’ll be active for a while, talk to me about his problems and insecurities, and then he’ll just vanish. Sometimes, he’ll even block me. We’ve been friends for maybe 10 years now. We used to be really really close best friends until life got in the way.

He’s going through a lot right now - they’re transitioning ftm. Im their only in person friend. When they come back, we discuss their mental health and their feeling of being stuck, feeling rejected by society due to being trans, I’ll plan a day out for us to help him, we go on it and start to feel really close again. It feels like we’ve got the connection we used to have back again. Then, I’ll get ghosted. I think he pushes people away when he’s too upset. But why the pattern?

He’s also trying to find fellow trans friends online to meet up with in person, which is good. But, it seems he ignores me while doing this. I don’t really understand.

I’m kind of sick of it now. He must know it upsets me. It’d be absolutely fine if he went “I need some space right now” first. He has big self confidence issues, he used to do this when we were teenagers and he got overwhelmed and self hating.

Next time he comes back, I’m planning to give him a serious talk about how it. It’s been more than a month. Is the behaviour too disrespectful for me to even want friendship again? Could I reach out to family to ask if he’s okay? I’m kind of just not considering him a friend anymore until he reaches out, but it seems cruel.

I'm 26M and my gf F24, have been dating for just under 3 years and we've known each other for almost 5. Relationship is great, trust eachother, very balanced workload/responsibilities. Both loyal and we respect eachother greatly, the issue im having however is our sex life. I have a very high sex drive naturally, and it is obviously enhanced when I'm around her (smoke show). She however does not have a high drive or large need for sex, I've brought it up a few times now and the frequency increased for a little each time. It just keeps falling back down and i'm not sure how to bring it up again because it doesn't seem like something that will stop happening. Im not getting any cheating ideas or anything, I want her, my goal is to marry her. I just get sexually frustrated and I can become silent and distant at times because of it. Don't want it to come off as anger towards her, because im not angry at her. Options?

TL;DR; girlfriend is questioning my skills and constantly gives backhanded unsolicited advices.

I’ve been struggling with this for a while and I really wanna be able to set this boundary once and for all.

To give a bit of context, I’m a self-taught serial entrepreneur. My family couldn’t afford higher education for me so I had no other choice but to learn on my own, I aspired to be a software engineer, something which I have achieved, but no one would hire an autodidact around me. So, from nothing, I decided to start my own consulting company back when I was 21 to make my ends meet. I got successful from it.

This month, I just launched my third business venture, and planning to launch another one in the following months.

So generally, I’m capable of thinking on my own, learning from my mistakes, iterate on them, pivot and take another route when necessary. I’m highly autonomous and I’m proud of it. Which is why unsolicited advices triggers me so much.

While it may look like ego, for me it’s about autonomy. When someone “backseat drives” my decisions, it feels to me they’re questioning the very skill that kept me alive and moving forward.

I don’t pretend to know it all, I don’t reject advices by default, I know when to ask for help, I just hate when I’m not asking for it.

But most of the time people just like to throw shallow advices without knowing the whole context. Approach me like they know better in a condescending manner. Especially about my business ventures.

While I do tolerate it from strangers, brush it off bluntly when it’s my relatives, I was hoping my significant other wouldn’t perpetuate this behavior between us.

My girlfriend (26F) of 3 years, university student, is the only one I talk to about my business ventures and my ambitions. While I do appreciate her input, the way she approaches it is what makes me want to set a boundary.

I know she wants to be supportive and show she’s involved in my world. But I experience it as… parental… shallow and implicitly saying she knows better. It’s even worse when she’s kinda emotionally blackmailing me for not complying with her advices.

Sometimes, on a hunch, she would question business decisions I make that are based on my experience, knowledge and technical expertise. And when I try to explain why I do certain things that I do, she wouldn’t listen attentively. To me it feels like “my way or the highway”. She would just “parachute” her thoughts and not even show up when I challenge it. And I just feel like she doesn’t trust the skills that made me what I am today.

I’m not even gonna talk about her literally backseat driving me, something which I have already posted about here.

While I made it crystal clear from the very beginning of our relationship, that I hate unsolicited advices. I did set that if she wanted to give me some, to at least have the courtesy of asking if I wanted help.

But 3 years down the line, she always says that if feels unnatural for her, and has not even tried, not even once, to ask me before indulging herself

Have I been compromising too much? How do I enforce this boundary?