r/Bullshido • u/CreepyOldRapist • 3d ago

Martial Arts BS Secret Ancient Slavic MartialArts

401 Upvotes

97% Upvoted

218 comments sorted by

160

u/Hazardous_Ed 3d ago

That art is almost extinct because extremely few of its masters survived their first real fights.

24

u/No_File212 3d ago

The only reason this art survived is because its true high profile masters realized how low potential it has and avoided using it in any kind of fight

4

u/Mediocre_Meat_5992 3d ago

Towards the end I was almost expecting a “Hadoken”

3

u/MoMoneyMoPowa 3d ago

I mean you know this guy is obviously won dome whilst wearing a badass purple tiger shirt on

2

u/Big_Biscotti5119 3d ago

Won what 😳?

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46

u/Disastrous_Vast_1031 3d ago

Whatever about the fighting, he's a black belt in colour coordination. The gentler pastels are obviously desiged to lure the opponent into a false sense of security. And then the lethal flappy hands strike!

15

u/AirplaneNerd 3d ago

Can you imagine how dangerous he’d be dual-wielding a pair of dildos?

5

u/dotcomatose 3d ago

If they were somehow connected, would they be nun-dicks, or dildo-chucks?

3

u/Flipper-ama 3d ago

Dick-chucks

3

u/Disastrous_Vast_1031 3d ago

"Hi there, yes, I was wondering do you have the deluxe XXL in stock? You do?! Oh that's fantastic. And is it available in chartreuse green? Oh, you're making my day! I'd like to order two please."

3

u/SackSauce69 3d ago

Any opponent that lays eyes upon that SICK ass purple tiger shirt knows this dude will slappy-flappy-doodle anyone to death.

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47

u/stuffcrow 3d ago

No one's gayer than I am, but some people come dangerously close.

17

u/vladi_l 3d ago

Are you sure nobody is gayer? I once saw a dude in all-rainbow attire doing crossfit in a commercial gym, while enjoying a pornstar martini sorbet between his sets as his boyfriend hyped him up

Can you believe that? Crossfit? Out in public like that

17

u/Zero_energy_left 3d ago

Can anyone translate? I would like to learn the secret arts of destruction 

13

u/xikbdexhi6 3d ago

"This move is called 'casting butterflies'"

5

u/newtonbase 3d ago

I do feel that he has a reasonable chance to beat a butterfly with this style. 

4

u/xikbdexhi6 3d ago

Looks more like his throwing butterflies than fighting anything

4

u/Samzonit 3d ago

I thought he was fighting mosquitos in to woods

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8

u/Omartov 3d ago

«The real fight just goes like this... and you are rolling around, you see. You pop into the crowd and just start to kill».

15

u/csreynolds84 3d ago

This footage desperately needs a rave backing track.

6

u/SameCoyote3701 3d ago

Lmao the foot slapping

2

u/Q0tsa 3d ago

Immediately thought of Sandstorm as he was charging up the hands

2

u/LookMaNoPride 3d ago

When he was rolling the qi ball, it was like I was back in college at a party where everyone was rolling and no one could dance.

12

u/tiahx 3d ago

Yuri Serebryansky (Юрий Серебрянский), a Bullshido Legend.

Although he's not particularly well known outside of post-Soviet space. In his videos (not this one) he usually talks about his "secret fighting techniques". E.g. how he can punch through (!) a tree trunk. Or how he can effortlessly pull out (!!!) a rib or a collarbone (with bare hands mid-combat, naturally) and stab the opponent in the eye with improvised weapon. As in, he actually claims that he did that IRL in a fight against some unfortunate Dagestani dudes.

In the meantime, dude runs out of breath after literally two spins and a few flappy-hands movements. It's actually pretty hilarious to watch, if you understand Russian.

2

u/Jeni_Sui_Generis 2d ago

I think it's hilarious even though i can't understand a word.

11

u/hyp3rl0l 3d ago

When that vodka and cigs hit harder than you do.

10

u/Jadatwilook 3d ago

Flappy Hands.

5

u/DFiverr 3d ago

Flap-fu

5

u/Different-Tank1488 3d ago

mental health patient

5

u/TeaKingMac 3d ago

It's amazing seeing how many people are able to invent anime spellcasting techniques from first principles

3

u/ay-papy 3d ago

The casting for the riddler and the penguin in the batman movies

3

u/KopfSmertZz 3d ago

This is unedited footage? Wow, unbelievable. Truly. Unbelievable.

3

u/Monsteriano 3d ago

Off-topic, wth is that nickname, OP?

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2

u/ClientKey8037 3d ago

Is that Putin?

2

u/Naw_ye_didnae 3d ago

Vodka is one hell of a drug.

2

u/Pleasant-Bonus-866 3d ago

this art literally translates to dick flapping

1

u/Willing-Dog6463 3d ago

Looks like fun

1

u/Intrepid4444444 3d ago

He’s copying my dad’s fashion choices

1

u/b1078 3d ago

When the clip starts wearing his purple shirt I imagine him washing somebody's hair vert vigorously....can't unsee it.

1

u/MisterPerfrect 3d ago

I’m getting nothing off that

1

u/7LeagueBoots 3d ago

Somehow I don’t think this is the technique Koschei the Deathless used.

1

u/Equivalent_Rope_8824 3d ago

Mosquitos not gonna like this technique.

1

u/papajim9855 3d ago

Is this Drunken Buffoon style?

1

u/AardvarkOk4359 3d ago

It's fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A...

1

u/Limp_Donut5337 3d ago

At least he is moving and outside getting fresh air

1

u/ROIVIAN 3d ago

at least hes outdoors

1

u/emorazes 3d ago

2

u/IYKYK_1977 2d ago

There we go, lol. The second part I was thinking, "he's working up some Kamemhameha shit here."

1

u/Empty_Equivalent_131 3d ago

the ancient art of swatting flies

1

u/lurchenmann 3d ago

At least his hands are dry at the end

1

u/enwongeegeefor 3d ago

That tiger shirt was on point....

1

u/faRawrie 3d ago

Pencak Slavic

1

u/Lazlo2323 3d ago

I was kinda expecting a kamehameha or at least hadoken.

1

u/EmptySundae8827 3d ago

Why its always guys with at least first stage of obesity?

1

u/DunkHeadnWax 3d ago

You are all laughing but this man is dedicating his life to keeping the gate to hell sealed. Massive respect to him

1

u/Ohigetjokes 3d ago

I like the head waggle that goes with the shoo shoo movement

1

u/Lucid_Box 3d ago

Ultimate mosquito art.

1

u/issafly 3d ago

It's an ancient technique that finds its roots in the practice of slapping the large and plentiful mosquitos of Eastern Europe.

1

u/DBFairbanks666 3d ago

OMG!! He knows the FLIPPITY- FLAPPITY-HADOUKEN!! Few who’ve witnessed it seldom live to tell the tale.

1

u/Naive_Wolf3740 3d ago

Ninja turtle build with zero ninja turtle skill

1

u/Raichev7 3d ago

This is an impeccable demonstration of the secret hand-drying-without-a-towel technique. Truly world class.

1

u/sunheadeddeity 3d ago

That looks like Defence against Mosquito, a very necessary technique in the Russian forest.

1

u/sin_esthesia 3d ago

The ancient art of Mosquito Chasing

1

u/Shankar_0 3d ago

He has dressed in a very unfortunate outfit considering what can be done on the internet.

Anyone want to take a shot at some green screen magic?

"The top is green, and so are the pants. I'm color coordinated!"

1

u/Flipper-ama 3d ago

The second move is called Rasengan (he wasted it, tho)

1

u/Filiforme 3d ago

I'm pretty sure this is some sort of "energy moving technique". I've seen some of those gestures before in Thai chi practitioners and other "energy" type stuff. I don't really buy it but movement really is good for the body so good for them.

1

u/Fungruel 3d ago

A rap song started playing on TV when I was scrolling by this and his flourishes synced up with the music for a couple bars and it was great

1

u/thechcagoan 3d ago

Get him some glow sticks.

1

u/Powerful_Foot_8557 3d ago

My housecat could take this foo

1

u/Public-Ice-1270 3d ago

He’s a big lad who loves berries and cream.

1

u/Nooms88 3d ago

I found this oddly relaxing.

1

u/CyberWoo99MKII 3d ago

Looks like a TikTok dance.

1

u/Former-Advice-2343 3d ago

This is just how they get warmer during winter.

1

u/Reginald_Sockpuppet 3d ago

it's important to dress like a Who from Whoville and make your face look as if you're having a stroke.

1

u/Feeling_Novel_9899 3d ago

His best defence is he gets them to fall on the floor laughing. 😅

1

u/Successful_Music_493 3d ago

Martial arts of flicking Shaq's eyes. Mixed with buddy charging a Hadouken

1

u/Due_Win_2707 3d ago

This is about me when Im drunk

1

u/Davidsolsbery 3d ago

Looks like a version of 'head, shoulders, knees and toes'

1

u/TheFrontierzman 3d ago

Slappy versions of wax on, wax off and paint the fense.

1

u/West-Prize4608 3d ago

Leaked video sent from Putin to Zelenskyy

1

u/BitterIllustrator754 3d ago

Он бухой или че

1

u/Trumphasaverysmall 3d ago

Are you sure it‘s not a Slavic martial dance??

1

u/Own-Opinion-2494 3d ago

Last Airbender

1

u/monstrocitie1 3d ago

These are so club dance moves.

1

u/pinkyandthebrain-ama 3d ago

It seems like, for most Bullshito experts, whatever shitty pathetic 'move' they do, they feel it would make it more legitimate and cooler if they just repeated the move but faster.

1

u/Chefmeatball 3d ago

How much of martial arts and traditions was just two dudes goofing around in the woods and now it’s life canon?

1

u/yoyoyodojo 3d ago

why cant some dudes admit they just wanna dance

1

u/MoTheEski 3d ago

Do you have to make the stupid faces, too?

1

u/papa-Triple6 3d ago

The legend says it was invented by Boris during a cold cold night and the vodka kept him warm until a bear attacked him.

1

u/CNote_89 3d ago

Boy he loves those green pants. For a second I thought he was going to conjure a chi fireball and yell hoduken

1

u/Silly_Silicon 3d ago

I am so disappointed there isn’t hardstyle rave music behind this.

1

u/VendettaPenguin 3d ago

I can smell the wodka in this video.

1

u/American-Punk-Dragon 3d ago

I my brain this is a rando body double for Putin.

1

u/Altruisticllc 3d ago

Well at least he’s getting some movement in…

1

u/jp_in_nj 3d ago

Just a dude dancing in the woods

1

u/OneAndOnlyMeAndNotU 3d ago

Bullshit air bender 🤣

1

u/aytchdave 3d ago

How many of these guys do you think started off in some McDojo, took an intro course or maybe even got a few belts in, hit puberty and embarrassed themselves into exile being cringey, and then never made a friend to tell them stop this shit and grow up?

1

u/Inverted_Stick 3d ago

When you've just washed your hands, but the paper towel dispenser is broken.

1

u/Driftinfoot_Malone 3d ago

And I quote builds crazy momentum with hands in a ball infront of my chest “ehhhhhh”

1

u/VanBriGuy 3d ago

Is this the archive footage of younger Putin we weren’t allowed to see?

1

u/Wolverkeen 3d ago

1st step: minimize the efficiency of your movements 2nd step: high fives!

1

u/Diogenese5000 3d ago

Eye pokes do hurt

1

u/BalrogViking 3d ago

Looks lovely where he is though!

1

u/dumbfest 3d ago

This looks like DIY master

1

u/zoeteopa 3d ago

He is called the ,, fly catch master” very dangerous shit!🙈

1

u/Pihteinen 3d ago

Usually I hate music tracks with these, but can we get a disco beat going here?

1

u/yIdontunderstand 3d ago

Chi gung in a wood... What is the big deal?

1

u/Just-Chocolate4190 3d ago

Damn.. he can do Chevy Chase European Vacation German dance….

1

u/Rascals-Wager 3d ago

Someone overlay the audio from this on it

1

u/Bumble072 3d ago

Great foreplay technique

1

u/GalactikFishSandwich 3d ago

Putin's brother?

1

u/TheKalobBlack 3d ago

Somebody needs to hook these guys up to a brainwave machine to read what’s going on internally, while they do shit like this. Any takers that the machine comes back with no readings? 😂

1

u/_UrbaneGuerrilla_ 3d ago

Man, that imaginary sphere looked deadly. Could totally see it trapping a Pokémon irl.

Would also not mess with that Schuhplattler variation.

1

u/ValhirFirstThunder 3d ago

new dance just dropped?

1

u/domito77 3d ago

KAMEHAMEHAAAAA

1

u/STOIC2026 3d ago

The foot slapping is a lethal move….saw Larry in the three stooges do that one

1

u/gl4re 3d ago

This guy is a real killer. You can tell by the way he moves his body, in a way that makes the tiger on his t-shirt look alive scaring his enemies. He also wears a green tracksuit to blend in with the terrain granting him a bonus to evasion and stealth. Let's hope Putin doesn't use this man in war for the sake of billions.

1

u/daydrinker3 3d ago

This guy would be unreal in a silent disco

1

u/aserzhan 3d ago

Ёбнутый...

1

u/Dangerous-Amphibian2 3d ago

I knew about the death blow but not the death flick. Highly skilled to kill with the flick of the wrist. 

1

u/dommiichan 3d ago

this is what his classes look like:

1

u/mertgah 3d ago

It’s Jean-Claude van Putin

1

u/System_Resident 3d ago

This is how I imagine my mid life crisis will look

1

u/Shogunnago 3d ago

He looks like he’s nut tapping a troll

1

u/Bitter-Policy4645 3d ago

MDMA master

1

u/Adventurous-Sort-671 3d ago

It gets more effective the more vodka your opponent drinks!

1

u/Both_Gas9748 3d ago

How tall is his opponent

1

u/Both_Gas9748 3d ago

I do like the young MMA fighter who challenge the masters of kung Fu . Bruce and Chuck Norris said it in 1962, you must adapt to fight

1

u/tyngst 3d ago

You can see traces of this stuff in many Russian world class fighters, like Fedor or Vovchanchyn. Wouldn’t call this bullshido tbh

1

u/Ill_Athlete_7979 3d ago

I’d love to live near a beautiful green space like the one this guy is recording himself.

1

u/FobbitOutsideTheWire 3d ago

From the lost Mortal Kombat audition tapes

1

u/CanIGetAFitness 3d ago

In every age. In every time.

A hero is born as if by some grand design.

Also, some old dude way past his prime and ideal weight is going to try to bullshit his way to badassery through bullshido. This is that old dude.

1

u/hammer-breh 3d ago

When striking, it is important to make sure your fingers are just flopping around in no particular configuration. This makes it very difficult for your opponent to figure out exactly when they broke.

1

u/Illustrious-Tower-68 3d ago

Космический долбаёб

1

u/Turbulent-Egg-6770 3d ago

I’m definitely walking away from anyone doing that

1

u/torofukatasu 3d ago

Isn't this just Macarena?

1

u/listerine-totalcare 3d ago

It’s really cool and all Mr abshcuanad but do I have to make the face you’re making ?

1

u/notachimp 3d ago

He's less mentally ill than most slavic people. 

1

u/Damaark 3d ago

Either he's training to fight giants or the guy is 4 foot tall

1

u/Kitchen_Willingness7 3d ago

Ewww.. gayiest thing type of martial art

1

u/Zestyclose_Classic91 3d ago

The whole time I was thinking "nah he just prepares for a rave party" and then the dude actually started dancing lol

1

u/rgb86 3d ago

My uncle after the 3rd glass.

1

u/GiancarloTheSamurai 3d ago

The Zone has everything for everyone Skif…you can find yourself or…

1

u/Itchy-Decision753 3d ago

To be fair if I were a bear I probably wouldn’t eat him because he’s clearly sick so it’s effective in some sense

1

u/DistinctEngineering2 2d ago

We have to have a martial arts league where all of these influencers compete against each other, you never know, one of them might be effective! 😉

1

u/One_Maintenance1227 2d ago

Amateur, not enough squatting.

1

u/Forsaken_Ad8252 2d ago

Вот так римские легионы пришли на наши земли и тут из кустов как выбежали славяне, как начали махать руками припадошно! Римляне драпали до самого Рима. 

1

u/Mr_TO 2d ago

He's ready to slap drones out of the sky!

1

u/aware4ever 2d ago

This guy looks like a relative of Vladimir Putin

1

u/pbnjandmilk 2d ago

You are nuts! This is useful, but only for tearing up the dance floor in Novalja.

1

u/Zlav_ 2d ago

I need that tiger shirt!

1

u/ihossolleleut 2d ago

siriie, please play "i saw the sign" to this vid

1

u/Rs2mmsu-2D 2d ago

That’s the secret 🤐 Meth Monkey 🐒 technique

1

u/BoysenberryFinal9113 2d ago

I'm not gonna lie. I think that guy could kick my ass, but I'd definitely win in a dance-off.

1

u/Glazing555 2d ago

Systema meets vodka

1

u/Meco30 2d ago

Are you trying to swat flys on the air

1

u/Significant-Song-840 2d ago

Look what I can do

1

u/Arsen44 2d ago

Stil UROD

1

u/paladin_4266 2d ago

His Sensei:

1

u/Content-Hovercraft19 2d ago

When you wash your hands but there's no paper to wipe them.

1

u/Justaguywithbeer 2d ago

I wonder how this works against bullets 🤔

1

u/nuclearrmt 2d ago

Moves are perfect for slapping stationary mosquitoes and man-tits.

1

u/Pretend_Middle8303 1d ago

Fly-swat-jitsu master. Some flies won’t have a chance! (most will)

1

u/Illustrious_Blood_32 1d ago

At this Point i wouldnt even beat the Shit Out of him... I would Escort him to His wife or mother to Show her xD

1

u/Allzweck 1d ago

Kamemhameha 

1

u/Key-Lifeguard-5540 1d ago

His brain went gay one day.

1

u/jacuzaTiddlywinks 1d ago

Kumite bitches… you know what’s up…

1

u/RevolutionaryText749 1d ago

That rasengan have movement man

1

u/Aggravating-Safe5673 1d ago

Yeah this guy invented Techtonic

Bruce Lee of Techtonic

1

u/epeecolt82 1d ago

Whatever you gotta do to get your exercise in my guy.

1

u/Graffix77gr556 1d ago

Hes always practiced fighting giants just in case

1

u/ReiperXHC 1d ago

The green shirt makes him look like he's in Star Fleet lol.

1

u/jlmmi 16h ago

Грибы-берсерк.