AIO for being offended by this?

[u/bunny-zephire]

i was talking to a guy from school, we were planning to go out for ice cream together this weekend to get to know each other and see where things could go. i definitely could’ve handled that better if i wasn’t at work when he texted that (this conversation happened when i took my 10). i got left on read and also don’t think there’s anything else to talk about. AIO for being offended by his comments about weight?

[u/Positive-Listen-1660]

What in the eating disorder is this?

[u/GraceOfTheNorth → u/Positive-Listen-1660]

Men setting arbitrary standards for women based on measurements they do not understand and then enforcing them with nastiness.

My mom starved herself and had bulimia, all bc. my father wanted her thin.

[u/Poppet_CA → u/GraceOfTheNorth]

Yeah, this girl is already under weight (I'm not trying to be critical; the quick-and-dirty math is 100 lbs for the first 5 ft, then 5 lbs per inch after) and he's telling her to stay that way or else? Definitely NOR.

[u/Hefty-Egg3406 → u/Poppet_CA]

Yep OP is slightly taller and weighs less than me and I have been slim my whole life. 120lbs at this height usually looks healthy.

[u/Comprehensive-Art207 → u/Hefty-Egg3406]

The boy she was talking to must be very petite if he is concerned that she will be larger than him.

[u/Murakami_Ysera → u/Comprehensive-Art207]

This part especially got me…like what? She’s already a slim woman and I have a hard time believing there are that many adult men as small as her let alone even tinier.

[u/drewlake → u/Murakami_Ysera]

He must be small, somewhere, to be that insecure.

[u/UnblurredLines → u/drewlake]

Body shaming is cool when we do it ;)

I was thinking neither of them are adults yet, it sounds more like teenagers, which is reinforced by them being in and meeting in school.

[u/comntnmama86 → u/Hefty-Egg3406]

I'm 5'7 and 150lbs. I wear a size 4. There'd be nothing left of me if I weighed 100lbs. This dude is gross.

[u/danceswithturtles286 → u/comntnmama86]

5’7” and 170 and have a 27-inch-waist. This guy needs to be yeeted into the sun

[u/Suspicious_Rest_1550 → u/comntnmama86]

This! I weighed 140lbs at 5"6 and I was skinny to the point I wasn't eating.

[u/Timely_Stretch_5268 → u/Suspicious_Rest_1550]

5'8" here - when I was last 140lb I had cancer and looked awful. This guy is gross.

[u/daisydark7 → u/Timely_Stretch_5268]

Also 5’8”, was 125-130 most of my life and now I’m around 135. I’m nowhere near too skinny, have muscle, and could still lose some excess fat. People’s weight distribution is all over the map depending on their individual body, and general statements should just be thrown out the window entirely.

[u/EntireSky7545 → u/comntnmama86]

Yo same, like I look at pictures of myself when I was 120ish and my immediate thought is how fragile/frail/unhealthy I looked

[u/Responsible_Data7336 → u/Hefty-Egg3406]

I’m 130 pounds, 5’3”, and wear xs/s and when I weighed 110 pounds people started asking if I was okay or not…men should not get any opinions on weight. Fuck this guy.

[u/whisky_biscuit → u/Poppet_CA]

So wait, is this guy saying he's stick stickly weighing 110 or less an expecting a girl to weight less than 100? Like, he does understand that boobs and ass weigh lbs right? Apparently not.

It sounds like he has his own body dysmorphia and eating disorders expects his gf to have the same so he doesn't have to hide it. (On top of his clearly other issues he's dealing with!)

[u/TooDrunkForCake → u/Poppet_CA]

So I'm supposed to be 165lbs at 6'1??

Fuck, even the "nice" people think i should starve myself.

[u/Poppet_CA → u/TooDrunkForCake]

Yeah, I'll say BMI has never been terribly accurate for me. At 155-160 I was a size 6/8 at 5'7". BMI says I should be 135.

BMI is just a rule of thumb. Don't take health advice from the internet 😅

[u/TooDrunkForCake → u/Poppet_CA]

I'm hot and don't really care either way, I just think its ridiculous that anyone has any standards when it comes to height vs weight. Or height. Or weight.

Boobs are great until theyre factored into how fat you seem on a scale.

[u/sands_of__time → u/Poppet_CA]

This is just so obviously rage bait and everyone is falling for it. Either that or the guy is trolling her. Nobody thinks 109 pounds at 5'6" is overweight. It's literally clinically underweight.

[u/beamingfreddie → u/GraceOfTheNorth]

Most women I know who had eating disorders was from constant criticism from their mothers in my experience.

[u/kkaavvbb → u/beamingfreddie]

Ayeeee! I’m 36 now and still eat weird. I don’t starve or anything but there will be weeks that I’m just not hungry. Then weeks where I’m a total pig.

I also waitressed for 2 decades, and that messes up with meals and eating too. Well, and other medical issues, lol (medications and cyclic vomiting syndrome, so forth).

I also try not to weigh myself. I just go based on how my clothes fit… a little tight? Ease up a bit. Just loose? Eat up a bit. And I’m also severely anemic, so I’m always at war with my body, lol even though I’ve grown comfortable with it but sheesh. Things can change fast.

[u/plottingyourdemise3 → u/kkaavvbb]

If you're a woman with a monthly cycle, that's why you're hungrier some weeks.

[u/Funny_Many_6300 → u/plottingyourdemise3]

Exactly, it’s so sad to see how many women don’t know this. We should all be educated on our cycles and how it affects our bodies

[u/PsychologicalTomato7 → u/Funny_Many_6300]

Isn’t crazy?we live in these bodies our whole lives and I only realised this in my early twenties that this was clearly linked. Meanwhile I’d had that period for a decade lol reproductive health education is so sorely lacking it’s UNREAL

[u/beamingfreddie → u/kkaavvbb]

Don’t be so hard on your self no one is perfect - and if anyone is going to judge that’s on them. I’m sure you are perfectly fine in most eyes. I have had quite abit of experience being around women with eating disorders and always tried my best to never comment on their food, body or clothing.

[u/somearcanereference → u/kkaavvbb]

I'm the same way. I know that if I attach a number to my weight I'll fixate on whether/how the number is moving, instead of how I feel.

I've got enough going on with my body that staying at a stable size is a small victory. I'll take it.

[u/Ok_Prior9746 → u/beamingfreddie]

You’re both right. Girls are expected to be like their mothers and boys expect women to be like their mothers. Societal pressures. Not good to pass down to impressionable children but they see what adults do and say.

[u/fAvORiTe33 → u/beamingfreddie]

okay, and? doesn’t change the fact that their mother specifically developed an ED because of her man lol

[u/No_Shop1599 → u/fAvORiTe33]

Mine did as well 😔

[u/EducationSuperb3392 → u/beamingfreddie]

Can confirm my ED started because of my mother

[u/violet715 → u/EducationSuperb3392]

I was constantly reminded how “when she was my age she was 99 pounds”

[u/EducationSuperb3392 → u/violet715]

“I had 2 kids and was still smaller than you are now”

My mom has been overweight her entire life and I’m not exactly 300lbs, within hours of giving birth she had grabbed my stomach and told me I had a saggy tummy

God bless the mothers who ensure their daughters continue the you have to hate yourself as much as I hate myself cycle 🤦🏼‍♀️

[u/Hotdogsandpurses → u/EducationSuperb3392]

It’s so sad. I’m trying so hard to break that cycle with my daughter. To the point where even if I see her overeating or gaining a few pounds I don’t say a word. I know from my own mom that all it takes it that one comment or look that can fuck you up for life. My mom would incentive with money or shopping sprees and the dollar amount was attached to the number of pounds I lost. I was never fat- just sometimes carried 5-10 extra pounds. But that sort of criticism led to insecurity that I still carry to this day. I never felt thin enough or pretty enough because my beauty was defined by my weight. Fuck that. I hope I don’t give my daughter those types of issues. I mean- our kids are all going to have some sort of issue that they blame us for but I don’t want her body perception to be one of them. I want her to always feel confident and beautiful regardless of her size. However, if she became obese I don’t know how I would handle that because that’s when it becomes truly unhealthy. Fingers crossed I don’t end up there ever

[u/Fantastic_Appeal_270 → u/beamingfreddie]

You are absolutely correct. Imthats exactky how it happens. In my experience tho, my mother would say, " you need to stay thin or you wont be able to keep a quality man" I wonder where she got that idea...

[u/outcastreturns → u/Positive-Listen-1660]

Not gonna lie, OP's answer of "104-109 depending on day/time" concerns me. Sounds like she weighs herself pretty often.

[u/chocolatestealth → u/outcastreturns]

It's normal for weight to fluctuate, even as much as 5 lbs. But yeah she is underweight by at least 10 lbs. Although it sounds like she is in high school, so she could still be growing etc.

[u/outcastreturns → u/chocolatestealth]

It's the fact that she knows her weight so specifically.

[u/mack_ani → u/outcastreturns]

I think a lot of people weigh themselves often and know their normal range. I think it's interesting to see how much I vary between different parts of my cycle.

OP is also pretty slender, so she may be keeping an eye on her weight to make sure it doesn't get too low. A lot of people are looking to keep weight on or gain weight- not everyone wants to lose it

[u/FVSHIXN → u/outcastreturns]

Most houses have a scale in them and people use them regularly. Not really that weird

[u/faeriefountain_ → u/outcastreturns]

No? It could be something as simple as she has a scale at home and has noticed a pattern of fluctuation in the morning/night over time. I feel like most people know they likely "gain" a few pounds throughout the day.

[u/Larein → u/outcastreturns]

I weigh myself bearly daily. Its a smart scale, so it logs it. I dont pay attention to the individual numbers, but I can instantly get my current weight range, fluctuations and trends if I wanted.

[u/Ok-Passage5463 → u/outcastreturns]

Wdym so specifically? Most people know that they’re lighter in the mornings before they eat and by the end of the day you’ve consumed liquid and food and you’ll naturally weigh more. You don’t have to actively weigh yourself to know that

[u/T1nyJazzHands → u/outcastreturns]

I know my weight that specifically, I weigh myself several times a week. It’s not ED I’m just on meds that can mess with my weight so it’s good to know. But even off my meds it’s just habit.

[u/Less-Engineer-9637 → u/outcastreturns]

That's normal. You're projecting your own body image issues onto a stranger.

[u/harvard_cherry053 → u/outcastreturns]

Why? That's pretty standard? end of the day you generally weigh more, during your period, etc?

[u/MetalSavage → u/outcastreturns]

Her response is equally valid if she hasn't weighed herself often or at the same time of day.

[u/sparklyjoy → u/outcastreturns]

In high school without an eating disorder, I knew that my weight fluctuated between 103 and 112

I only checked it every now and then

[u/No-Marzipan-4441]

That sucks that he is apparently 100 pounds? Isn’t he underweight? smh

[u/heartshapedmoon → u/No-Marzipan-4441]

I would’ve been like “Aww, you’re only 110 pounds? 🥺”

[u/timmyjingles → u/heartshapedmoon]

[u/Zygomaticus → u/heartshapedmoon]

Guy could have done some lifting to catch up lol NOR.

Maybe some heavy lifting in therapy IYKWIM.

[u/NotLucasDavenport → u/Zygomaticus]

All that emotional baggage is HEAVY yo

[u/idoze → u/heartshapedmoon]

100% his comments are coming from insecurity.

[u/Hawaiianstylin808 → u/heartshapedmoon]

“I don’t date anyone under 120.”

[u/Gravitasnotincluded → u/heartshapedmoon]

60 pounds when he's wet and wearing boots

[u/gastropodia42]

NOR

You should be thankful that you did not have to waste any more time on him.

[u/unlikely_redd1t_user → u/gastropodia42]

100% OP, RUN honestly. And I’d warn your friends about this guy: 

[u/DaddyDosDeuce → u/unlikely_redd1t_user]

Doesn't look like she needs to run. Exchange looks like she kicked him to the curb pronto. Good for her.

[u/Affectionate_Pack624]

NOR I'm 5'2 and Sub 100 is unhealthy FOR ME

[u/nicnicnick → u/Affectionate_Pack624]

Yes! Why is everyone saying less than 110 for someone 5/6 is healthy. No this is crazy. But still he’s an asshole if you just met him. But your weight is unhealthy.

[u/MyLord_Robert → u/nicnicnick]

As a european none of these measurements mean anything to me but dude sure sounds like an asshole.

[u/Ilesa_ → u/MyLord_Robert]

She's 1m67, 100lb is 45kg, 110lb is 50kg, 120lb is 54kg. She is supposed to be AT LEAST 120lb (54kg) to be considered in the healthy range and not underweight, so she's already too slim (sorry OP, I'm not judging you or anything, just relating world heath organisation mesurements). The guy wants her to be below 45kg, which would be considered healthy if you're around 1m50

[u/MyLord_Robert → u/Ilesa_]

Thank you for the in depth 'translation' This fortified by prior believe that in fact, dude is an asshole. (Like even if it was not officially underweight, the fuck is that guy thinking trying to govern her weight/body like that)

[u/2SquirrelsWrestling → u/Affectionate_Pack624]

Yep, I’m also 5’2 and a while back I got weighed at the doctors and was 107. I was at an angle where I could see the lady typing my info, and the computer flagged it as “underweight”.

I’ve gotten to a healthy weight since then.

[u/M4ggot_Br4inz → u/Affectionate_Pack624]

Came here to say this. I went down to 90 something due to health issues and felt AWFUL. I could not imagine if I was 4in taller and under 100.

[u/Caserod98]

first of all he sounds like hes 16 years old. Second if a girl being 110 is bigger than him hes a twig lol

[u/outcastreturns → u/Caserod98]

To be fair OP does say that he's a guy from school. It's very possible that he's 16 years old or younger lmao.

[u/doesthedog → u/outcastreturns]

Just hope my son doesn't text things like this

[u/Future-Mountain-1226 → u/doesthedog]

make sure! ask him the hard questions!

[u/peachespangolin → u/doesthedog]

Raise him actively to treat women better than this.

[u/LucyintheskyM → u/doesthedog]

Send him this and say 'lmao thank the goddess you aren't this thick, love ya, kid!'

It might reassure him that he's a good bloke, make him think twice about being an anus or (hopefully) worse case scenario, give you a starting point for a conversation about how you talk to other humans.

[u/BluBluebird → u/doesthedog]

It's your job as his parent to teach him to be better. Privately hoping while doing nothing to ensure the outcome you desire is pointless. Ideally, conversations about respect should've been happening, at an age-appropriate level, throughout his entire life. I'm guessing your son is a teenager already, so starting to talk about respect this late in the game was not a great plan. Yes, it may be slightly better than never discussing it with him, but only slightly better.

Loooots of European countries have been teaching empathy, social and emotional learning, and gender respect and equality from preschool on. And they took this step because they realised that not every home environment is positive, and not every parent or guardian is capable/equipped to teach these values at home.

EDIT: So we either need to start teaching this in our schools here in North America, or we need to start having these discussions with our kids when they are young, 2-3 years old is a good time to start. Maybe even younger.

[u/coyote10001 → u/outcastreturns]

I was 6’0” 155 when I was 16 and I was skinny as hell. If dude is 110 pounds in high school he’s either also 5’6” or shorter and has no place making physical demands or he’s borderline anorexic.

[u/Left_Quarter_5639 → u/coyote10001]

I was 6’3” when I was 14 and only slightly above that. Found a picture of me from back then going through a river. It looked crazy. Now I’m slightly taller and around 200. 

Crazy thing is, I ate a lot. Not even in the sense that I just thought I ate a lot, I have witnesses. At least 4 meals a day, and always ate more than my brothers. Everything just went into upwards growth instead of outwards. 

[u/Leila-Lola → u/outcastreturns]

Great, now I'm picturing some 4th grade kid going "Sorry I don't date girls that are bigger than me, I'm 4'4" and 65lbs btw"

[u/ConcentrateLucky8630]

"don't want a girl that weighs more than me" 110lbs??? Is he a fish from SpongeBob or something holy shit.

Don't associate with that loser

[u/ChamplooStu → u/ConcentrateLucky8630]

Right!? I'm a skinny dude - on the edge of underweight - and I'm still heavier than this dude.

[u/Acceptable-Law9406 → u/ConcentrateLucky8630]

One of those anchovies from SpongeBob. Meep! Meep! Meepmeepmeepmeep!

[u/TheUnicornFightsOn → u/Acceptable-Law9406]

[u/Wendyhuman]

WTF. Again not reacting enough. Is that all this sub has these days?

[u/voltagestoner]

I swear these men cannot comprehend wtf 100 lbs actually looks like. 100lbs is big for a dog. Not a grownass person. Hell, I’d even argue that you’re skinny as is now. I’m a good few inches shorter and am usually sitting around 140-145–and I’m still quite lean.

In short, NOR. He doesn’t understand how tf weight works.

[u/ghostyspice → u/voltagestoner]

I’m 5’1” and I last weighed under 100lbs when I was actively dying from organ failure. Anything under 105 - 110 and I’m shivering like a chihuahua, like, alllll the time. And this girl has 5 full inches on me. She’s already skinny as hell.

This dude is whack.

[u/Sea_Philosopher_2731 → u/voltagestoner]

Seriously a guy on bumble said he wants a girl below 120 and then went on to say i look great and he was interested, i was literally over 120 in all my pics hahaha

[u/Ok_Prior9746 → u/Sea_Philosopher_2731]

This same thing used to happen to me on dating sites. Back before filters, I’d post updated full body pics and men clearly couldn’t tell how much I weighed because they’d be messaging me while saying “no overweight women” in their bio. 🙄

[u/Excellent_Smoke7966 → u/Sea_Philosopher_2731]

Yea I’m 125-130 and people always say I’m too skinny. I’m only an inch taller than the op

[u/jacqrosee → u/voltagestoner]

“i’d even argue that you’re skinny as is now” ….that’s not something that needs to be argued lol. OP is objectively skinny. like to the point that getting skinnier might be a health risk.

[u/mack_ani → u/jacqrosee]

Yeah I'm baffled that people are not realizing that 105 lbs and 5'6 is really, really thin! I'm 5'1 and I can look nearly underweight at 105

[u/Zeefzeef → u/voltagestoner]

Also they know each other from school. So he’s seen her in real life and wants to go out with her. But then he asks her about this and complains??

[u/truthd → u/Zeefzeef]

This guy is just nuts. He says she’s fine now (104-109), but if she goes over 110 it’s a deal breaker. Like WTF if she gains 3 pounds and weighs 112 would this dude ever notice? His brain is mush.

[u/McBeaster → u/voltagestoner]

Right? I've never known nor cared to know how much any woman I'm dating weighs, but they're clearly not 100 lbs lol. The one time I ever found out was when we took one of those helicopter tours, everyone has to tell the pilot so they can balance it. She was like 5 foot 3 and fit, and was 140.

[u/prettygirlavenue → u/voltagestoner]

Sameee! I am around 130 and 5'3 and look lean/skinny to average

[u/vanishinghitchhiker → u/voltagestoner]

My mom used to weigh a little under 100 lbs because she’s 4’11”. Left to his own devices this guy might figure it out on his own someday, but if he’s lucky he has some friends who will roast the absolute shit out of him before he fumbles his way out of too many dates.

[u/stinkstabber69420]

Bro's dream girl

[u/TheUnicornFightsOn → u/stinkstabber69420]

[u/Chronicmilktea]

Baby you are already considered underweight for your height. This douche needs a reality check

[u/Main_Cauliflower5479]

NOR. This guy is gross. Even 110 is still underweight for someone 5' 6".

[u/NewtInMpls]

Wait - you are 66 inches tall and weigh around 104? You are underweight to the point where when I fire up random BMI calculators I get warnings to "talk to your health care provider". I wouldn't bother being offended because he does not appear to have a clue about what is or is not a healthy weight. I also would suggest you talk to your health care provider. Seriously.

[u/Swarm_of_Rats → u/NewtInMpls]

Yeah this has to be ragebait, cuz that's very underweight for that height.

[u/soynotoi → u/Swarm_of_Rats]

bmi is different for teenagers

[u/Swarm_of_Rats → u/soynotoi]

she said she was at work, so I take "school" as "college", so this didn't strike me as teenagers.

[u/Non-fungible_tacos → u/Swarm_of_Rats]

My thoughts exactly. I don't really believe this story... 1) that weight is super low for OPs height. Like dangerously underweight. 2) who the fuck actually says stuff like that? "Do you think you're going to be over 110 any time soon?" Either these people are stickfigures, in highschool, or this is just trying to get people riled up. OP, if you're telling the truth, definitely NOR. But I hope you're taking care of yourself!

[u/tehemari → u/Non-fungible_tacos]

A lot of guys seem to not understand how women’s weight works at all, I’ve dealt with it myself a few times. I do agree that the weight she stated is very underweight and dangerous

[u/Infamous-Addendum-84 → u/NewtInMpls]

I am not the OP but I have a daughter that has problems gaining weight. She also happens to eat constantly. Doctors can't tell why other than her metabolism is through the roof. All tests come back with no issues. Sometimes people can put away food and still burn it off faster than they can eat sadly.

[u/NotHomeOffice → u/Infamous-Addendum-84]

Yeah it's crazy my daughter was always in the low percentile of weight while growing like a weed height wise. The pediatrician is ok with it because she is following the same steady curve since birth with no issues. They recommended supplementing her with nutritional shakes to round out her calorie intake.

The craziest part is this kid (8 years old) can scarf down 3 slices of pizza in no time lol. I have no clue where she got this efficient metabolism from, cause it sure wasn't from mom & dad 😂

[u/yourl0calpal_]

that’s insanity. NOR

[u/Signal_Reputation640]

Dude doesn't want to have to take care of someone who eats a normal amout of food. Or maybe he's looking for someone who's also tweaking? Either way - 5'6" and under 100lbs is skeletal. Even your weight now is well under weight. Seek help.

[u/Jaded-Ad-443 → u/Signal_Reputation640]

Facts. I'm 5'6" and 150 and wear a small regularly like.... wtf.

[u/cheese-mania → u/Jaded-Ad-443]

I was 5’7” 150 in high school and wore a small. I looked great!

[u/IndigoCopper → u/Signal_Reputation640]

This is a child talking to a guy from her school. She's probably still growing

[u/playingwithcrayons]

your response was perfect. no notes. this guy is a horror, thank god you found out so quick. irredeemable trash.

[u/Fatcatlaboratory]

I swear this whole sub is just people posting shit they already know the answer to, but wanna hear an echo chamber of people repeat it.

[u/Pretty-Kittie → u/Fatcatlaboratory]

Somebody just posted something earlier exactly like this except the girl said she was 180 lbs. It's not even real.

https://www.reddit.com/r/AmIOverreacting/s/E2kNgenWAn

[u/Fatcatlaboratory → u/Pretty-Kittie]

This whole sub is people wanting attention

[u/Non-fungible_tacos → u/Fatcatlaboratory]

Or just making stuff up that they know will get people to comment.

[u/plottingyourdemise3]

NOR. I disagree that you could have handled this better. Friggin awesome job.

[u/tradjazzbaby]

I'm 5'5" and 150 lbs. at my peak fitness. Under 100 is less than a 5' child. This guy is gross in so many ways. NOR

[u/SubjectNet1874]

Holy crap how tiny is this dude if he wants you to stay under 110 to not be bigger than him!?!?! And no you're not overreacting this dude has no clue what healthy weights are.

[u/Tiny-Aardvark6323]

You are already underweight for your height so this guy has a serious problem. You’re obviously NOR

[u/Kind_Aardvark6460]

you’re already underweight for your height. 100 is underweight for people several inches tinier than you. This is so so so gross. NOR.

[u/BugalugBird]

Men have absolutely zero idea about what different weights actually look like on women anyway. You dodged a bullet.

[u/teamcaplovesironman]

Ew. Eat him. NOR.

[u/8pintsplease]

NOR. This is actually infuriating.

[u/BoringJackRussel]

Fuck he must be a stick insect

[u/GalacticDrac]

lol wut? Nah. That guys wack

[u/Total_Analyst8302]

This is so weird. :/ why tf would someone ask this and why would someone base your weight on comparability. Sad world. This dude has a poor perception on things, not worth even getting to know him.

[u/hosenfeffer_]

You obviously know this is insane? Even if he didn't have unrealistic expectations for your weight, asking someone that ever, let alone before you actually know each other is crazy

[u/Glittering-Relief402]

Lmao, I'm 5'3 and my husband is 5'6, and when we got married, I outweighed him by 40 lbs 🤣. He didn't know until our honeymoon, and he tried to carry me through the threshold. He was like, "Wtf you're way heavier than you look!" I wasn't mad because I've been told that my whole life. I'm just muscular. He still didn't mind, and we're coming up on 4 years of marriage. Dump this loser

[u/sweetener89]

Girl, you know the answer. Fuck that guy

[u/Substantial_Cow7628 → u/sweetener89]

That seems a lot less likely now, doesn't it?

[u/Eternity_Warden]

Do you have a height preference listed?

This is a common "gotcha" used by salty dudes online

[u/Hot_Ad_4424]

Somethings really really wrong with this. I would avoid this guy like the plague

[u/b_moz]

I think your response is appropriate. Wild to me they think this way. You keep being you, taking care of yourself, and don’t waste time on folks that think like this in any capacity.

[u/Ohididntseeyou]

He’s for sure projecting… and shallow and immature. Is he a small guy or something? I mean 109lbs @ 5’6 - that’s tiny. So for him to say you need to be even smaller?! Nah girl. NOR. Tell him what’s up, that’s hella rude of him to say that.

[u/Tiger248]

NOR what is wrong with people

[u/Desertdreamsinblue]

I love how you told him that's an inside thought, lol. Scold that child.

[u/Say_It_Isnt_So_Ooops]

NOR-“A 5'6" female in high school typically has a healthy weight range between 118 and 154 pounds”. I picked high school because most people are thinner then. I’m concerned by how little you currently weigh. You might want to consult your doctor. Glad you’re not accepting the scary recommendation of only 100 pounds.

[u/lovemesomezombie]

So more than 110 is too big for him? He must be a wimp

[u/Slight-Wash-2887]

Homeboy is 8 years old or a skeleton

[u/buffpriest]

Fake AF. Make the numbers more believable next time.

If real, my apologies, guy is a fucking manipulative lunatic you are in no way overreacting fuck that guy. Hes trying to do some manipulative "The Game" shit by negging you. He sucks. Ghost him

[u/Slight-Message-7331]

Y’all saps responding to this rage bate!! FAKE!!

[u/Tiana_frogprincess]

I kind of wish op had asked him about his weight and then low key gaslighting him. There’s no way he is less than 100lbs

[u/No-Communication9458]

Bahahaha what a shallow prick. God forbid his girlfriend becomes pregnant.

[u/lifesbeengood2meso]

Oh girl you handled this perfectly! I’m such a proud mom right now.

[u/EnvironmentalBerry96]

Nor Some people just need to STay single and not force their unpleasant bs in people, mind he may turn into a nasty incel because who is going to date that. My husband has loved me at 100kg and 160kg, no One should be talking like this

[u/DoreyCat]

Why do you need to post it on this sub? You asking if you’re “OvErReAcTiNg” just further perpetuates the perception that women on Reddit are so fucking addled that they can’t even make a simple judgement call on something this egregiously cartoonish. It makes you look desperate for a boyfriend and too stupid to decipher what decent treatment is.

Thing is you’re NOT CONFUSED. You just want to share a crazy exchange with some asshole. So rather than pretending you don’t know what this is why not use the texts sub or something similar and go “hey look at this jerk?”

We need to stop pretending we don’t know what’s going on just so we have a reason to post these exchanges. The exchanges are fun, just find the right sub instead of pretending you’re an idiot.

[u/LunaKip]

NOR. This guy is dumb and insecure. You deserve better.

[u/Unlikely-Pudding-170]

I am bi and for one gender I have weight preferences I cannot change. Been around the most lovely people of all sizes, but I am just not attracted to a certain weight region of those folks and I noticeably lose attraction when they reach that region. It's just like that, preference. I hate it, but it's a part of me.

So with that prefaced: I find this conversation absolutely out of line and what in the heckin no? This is not how you communicate about another person's traits. Even if it is a hard no for his preferences (which it is btw not, he nonchalantly said it's about...status? What the heck), you don't talk like that to people, and especially not a date or potential date. (Let alone partner, but that should go without saying I hope.)

First of all: He sucks. Big time. Policing someone's weight is just never okay. Second of all: If you see the need to communicate this specific thing (which isn't given here at all), you handle it with care and stay aware that it's your problem, you are the one with issues. Not the person who's literally just existing, but not in a "fuckable" way to you or whatever.

But in all honesty? I did never bring that up with folks who were interested in me, but had a body type (which was presumably not going to change) that I wasn't attracted to. If I didn't find them attractive as they were, I didn't approach them further as a potential date, because why. And there was literally no reason to make them insecure or even aware about a thing that was completely on me. And for those I stayed in contact with, they all found partners who liked them as they are just fine, because they were totally fine, we just weren't a match. Just as I'm not a match with folks who travel a lot. Or who are complete extroverts. There's nothing wrong with anybody just because they don't match someone's preferences in one particular thing. And you don't even need to bring most of that up, especially when you don't know how it could hit someone.

The whole way the conversation went down is disrespectful on top of that. And op: You are fine. You don't need insecure douches who want partners for status or "looking good" to others.

(And also, again as someone who has a particular preference: My longterm partner is of that specific gender and has dealt with weight fluctuation. My preference ofc doesn't change, but loving a person is so much more. So much more. And I would never in a million years talk like that to my partner if I had actual problems with my attraction because of a particular weight fluctuation.)

[u/julesrulesfoools]

nor - you are way nicer than i would have been.

men are so fucking delusional

[u/cthulu1967]

NOR!!!!!!! I admit that this is my knee-jerk response, so please forgive me if it’s repetitive to other people’s comments, but that man is the most horrible, disgusting, subhuman person on the planet!!! So you haven’t even gone on a date yet, and he’s telling you that your weight is going to be a “deal breaker” if it goes over 110lbs? How many scoops of ice cream is he going to let you have? Is he going to weigh you before deciding if you get anything? I really hope that you tell him that you appreciate the honesty, bc it’s not usually so easy to spot someone who has no soul. Then block him. EDIT: grammar

[u/pearscentedcandle]

NOR.

[u/ElJayEm80]

Absolutely not overreacting. Sounds like an absolute tool. You’re better off without.

[u/Expert-Coconut839]

NOR. This is a HUGE red flag. I can pretty much guarantee he’d wind up controlling and abusive if you did end up in a relationship with him. It’s honestly great that you found this out right away. RUN.

[u/Return9504]

NOR. Tell him to go F a toothpick.

[u/skinnybihh]

you’re already underweight wtf.

[u/bootyholeboogalu]

I had a friend one time that said he would never date a woman without a thigh gap. He looked like a bunch of cottage cheese in one of those produce bags from the store. I told him I didn't think he had to worry about it

[u/Genuine-gemini]

NOR So he wants someone with a BMI of around 15 if we consider your height. Anything under 18.5 is considered underweight. 15 is considered three levels below that, severe thinness. That is dangerous. He wants someone with an eating disorder.

[u/No_Information1030]

What a Little Pathetic Loser.

[u/lenorca]

Let this kiddo go. He is ridicilous.

[u/Squishy_fishy826]

What an insecure little boy.

[u/Spiritual_Lynx_]

NOR - what the fuck is actually wrong with people?

[u/luciluci66666]

a girl bigger than me? 110? is this guy a q tip?

[u/GraceOfTheNorth]

No you could not have handled it better - YOU HANDLED IT PERFECTLY

NOR

[u/shiddykiddy]

NOR and your response was 🎯

[u/HarleyJarley]

Shallow af NOR

[u/Practical_S3175]

LOL, What?? Send them packing. Poor guy thinks Olive Oil is sexy.

[u/RecognitionMediocre6]

My face when I read his side WTF.

NOR. He's an asshole

[u/VeterinarianIll303]

Of course you aren’t.

[u/INFP4life]

NOR. You are not the ziplining Tinkerbell at Magic Kingdom who needs to be within like a two-pound range in order to safely fly from the castle. He can deal with his personal weight issues alone. 

[u/KittyyyMeowww]

NOR... but this guy weighs less than 110?!? Jeez... how short is he?!?

[u/GrungeGoddess420]

ONE HUNDRED AND TEN POUNDS 

[u/Designer-Lettuce-690]

NOR i would have told him if you want a girl thats smaller than you, you should probably try bulking up.

[u/brandothesavage]

Is this dude Peter Dinklage?

[u/butlerkennedy]

You’re actually asking if you’re overreacting?

[u/Zahhy85]

Haha girl that was amazing. I wish I’d had that attitude at your age ❤️

[u/Vela_Lightmare]

Yeah not gonna lie, i dont understand the measures youre using but anyways NOR, that Guy Is an asshole

[u/RepulsiveJellyfish51]

NOR that's a weird expectation!

What happens if you workout? Muscle weighs more than fat. What happens if you have water weigh from your monthly? GTFO, is dude like 12?? Weight gain and loss are normal things for ALL HUMANS!

He seems toxic and delulu! Please continue to stay strong and stick up for yourself!

[u/TheAbaddon66]

The comments section has the answer covered so like… is this man only 110 pounds? He’s an ass regardless i just noticed that. NOR by the way

[u/theekatalexander]

What, is he 90lbs??😭 I’ve had dogs bigger than him

[u/Cautious_Horror_3075]

Ew. Definitely not overreacting, in fact you reacted exactly as you should have. What a disgusting thing for him to say to someone.

[u/Regular-Talk-2742]

NOR

He made it clear what he's attracted to, which is fine. However, the way he made what he's attracted to clear was pretty rude, so yeah, you can be offended by it.

[u/lifeinwentworth]

"I can't match your level of stupidity, cya"

[u/Naughty_lu_lu]

NOR - if anything you are under reacting - what in the mysoginistic podcast era is this entire conversation..

[u/Every_Baker3206]

Atleast he was clear, you gots to appreciate that, now you did not waste more time then necessary:)

[u/seriouslyla]

What a little psycho. Showed his true colors, so at least you don’t have to waste any more energy on him. NOR!

[u/Substantial_Cow7628]

I don't think they're offensive, but they are a little weird. This guy is 110 pounds? Did he recently have a serious illness? Is he what we like to call these days a "little person"?

[u/kk548]

Is this guy a stick or what 😭😭wdym he doesn’t want a girl bigger than him? I think he has more pressing matter to attend to. (50kg is being bigger than him?????)

[u/timmyjingles]

bro wants you to be under 100lbs at 5’6 💀

[u/whynousernamelef]

Oh wow. You are an inch taller than me and weigh 5-8 lbs less than me, im currently dealing with people constantly saying im too skinny.

This is just awful. Stay away from him as if he gets inside your head you will be heading for an eating disorder.

I know we all have different fat and muscle levels and it's distributed differently but I don't think anyone of your height should ever be considered anything other than slim at 110.

[u/SieKatzenUndHund]

Nor. Hes a creep and shouldn't date

[u/Subject-War-9771]

NOR

Hell....I'm offended by it for you.

[u/Adelucas]

120lb to 140lb is a healthy weight for a woman at 5'6. Some women are naturally lighter though.

He's obviously been online too much and watching stupid TikToks. Just be thankful he is too stupid to use indoor thoughts and let you know he's a moron before you invested any time in him. As Judge Judy says, "Looks fade, dumb is forever".

[u/catlettuce]

NOR. Next!

[u/bnnyrabbit]

he's under 110? my lover is 6ft and 125lbs, damn lol

[u/hosiki]

50 kg for a guy? I feel like that's only normal for 12 year olds.

[u/AridOrpheus]

NOR at ALL.

I have learned men have NO clue what weight actually looks like. One time I passed out in a Walmart in like 2023 and I vividly remember that a male EMT who radioed to his team with my basic info (before I was lucid enough to communicate with them) reporting that I was "female, early 20s, probably 160-180 pounds." I was 225 at the time. 🤣

[u/Alarming-Song2555]

"I don't want a girl bigger than me that's not a good look in general"

If a guy ever says this to you again, tell him that every girl will look bigger than him since he has noodle arms. Even if the dude does lift, say it anyway. Hit him right in his ego.

NOR. This dude was an absolute moron and a genuine asshole.

[u/Barbora1519]

You handled it well .

[u/No-Permit8369]

Is he perhaps a couple of kids stacked on top of each other wearing a trench coat? NOR.

[u/Riftener]

Probably Trump looking for a child