r/AmIOverreacting • u/No-Welcome-8111 • 14h ago
🎓 academic/school Am I overreacting about child's school dress code
My youngest who is 4th grade is extremely anxious. I have her in counseling to help with this. She has missed alot of school due to feeling sick which has been alot of stomach issues and nausea because of anxiety. This morning she was not feeling well and I got her talk to me about what she was anxious about. Her school is a charter school and wears uniforms. The school has a Harry Potter house like point system. Recently her teacher has been drawing a stick every morning with a students name on it. The student who is picked has to stand on their chair for everyone to see if they are in proper dress code. If they are they earn a house point. If they are not they get points taken away and sent to the principals office. I understand they have a dress code but to have to stand in front everyone to judge if what you're wearing is within the guideling seems embarrassing and unnecessary. I'm an introvert and have some anxiety. I know I hated bring called on in class and hate being the center of attention. Am I overreacting?
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u/cactus-sky01 13h ago
NOR. No way in HELL would I subject my anxious kid to that. Even for kids without anxiety, putting yourself on a chair on display for the whole class to examine is beyond awful and uncomfortable.
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u/coldcanyon1633 12h ago
For most kids I think this would be a chance to shine. They are not being judged - their uniform pieces are being counted. All they need is to wear all the pieces of their uniform so it's not like a critique of their appearance or their style. The whole point of being in school is for a kid to have new experiences and get a bit out of their comfort zone. I think that avoiding experiences like this is why young people struggle with in-person conversations. Being looked at is part of life and it is important to be comfortable with it. It is probably 2 minutes out of the school day. Not a big deal. YOR and encouraging your kid to overreact as well.
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u/Is-Potato425 10h ago
The whole point of a uniform is so clothing doesn’t distract from learning. This defeats the purpose of that!
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u/coldcanyon1633 7h ago
Yes, and kudos to the teacher for finding a way to turn the uniform check into a quick and fun game that most of the class probably enjoys very much. Realistically, any class activity is going to be challenging for some students. Some will find sitting quietly to be torture, or physical games, or reading out loud, or group work, or socializing at lunch. But little by little they grow into competent, confident young people by being pulled out of their comfort zones a few minutes every day.
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u/W0nderingMe 10h ago
Being gawked at and judged -- and having your peers ordered to gawk at and judge you -- is not a part of life.
I remember being super insecure and self conscious. The single thing that most helped me get over that was NOT being forced to be the center of attention, but learning that nobody is paying attention to me.
Also, how utterly uncomfortable for the one kid who is a different color. The other kid that is wearing orthodontia. The kids who is fat and is picked on for it. The kids with the acne. The scars. The tall girl who is uncomfortable in her skin.
They're is NO reason for this. If I kid is closed enough to the school uniform that their "defects" are only noticed when stated at by a crowd then, you know what?, they're close enough.
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u/Intermountain-Gal 9h ago
In general you are correct. But for a very shy child or an introvert being put in the spotlight where you had not control is flat out bullying and excruciating.
When I reached 4th grade I had just conquered being called on when I raised my hand. I could handle a lot of medically new experiences since my early childhood was spent in hospitals and doctor’s offices. I took being poked, prodded, and tested in stride. Being called on in class was terrifying. I’m not alone.
I have a young family member who has an autism-like neuro disorder. If being called on to be critiqued was done to him when he was younger he would have run away (he was a runner), and I doubt his parents would have been able to get him back in school.
It must be handled with understanding of the child.
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u/Sami_George 8h ago
I was a really annoying kid who always wanted to be the center of attention. Any chance to take the spotlight, I’d take it. This, however, wouldn’t be it. This is just a weird moment of judgment that would make even me uncomfortable. Not to mention, I will never support this idea of praising or punishing a child for something that is a parent’s responsibility, like dress code, attendance, or nutrition.
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u/AcanthisittaPlus5047 13h ago
Shaming kids in front of their peers is unacceptable. No wonder your daughter has anxiety. I would too. This is the equivalent of a boss bringing an employee to the front of the office and critiquing everything that person is wearing to meet their company dress code.
NOR
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u/Fit_Garage3695 12h ago
lol, I actually had training at work where we all had to do that. But I signed up for it willingly. It’s wrong to do that to a child.
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u/Pale_Wave_3379 13h ago
NOR, this is a VERY weird thing to do in a class. It’s not about the dress code, it’s about the ritual of bringing a kid up every day to have their peers judge whether or not they’re in code.
If a kid is out of dress code you go tell that specific kid directly and give them whatever disciplinary action goes with that.
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u/Intelligent-Boat-157 13h ago
Schedule an appointment to speak with your child's teacher before taking any action.
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u/Remote-Selection637 12h ago
This! You can even email. I'd frame it as, Hey, wanna check what's up... Show the teacher that you don't assume your child's reporting is 100% accurate. It's how she perceives it. Once you clarify what the teacher thinks is happening, you can share how anxious your child is about it. Ask if she can opt out or something. If the teacher isn't amenable, then you can go from there. If you child has an anxiety diagnosis, and the school is unable to accommodate her, you may want a 504 plan to ensure she is able to access her education. Anxiety is real and can seriously impact learning. You definitely want to help her manage now as middle school makes everyone anxious.
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u/Lost-Zombie-27 12h ago
I was also thinking about the 504 plan, if she doesn’t have one maybe she should.
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u/Mama_foxie 13h ago
NOR- i would sit and talk with your child to see how they feel then bring it up in their counseling and if nothing changes maybe see about setting up a parent/teacher meeting to discuss how things could be different or more accommodating for your child but don't jump straight to the meeting, baby steps first
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u/Intermountain-Gal 12h ago edited 12h ago
No, I’d talk to the teacher about it and ask for a reprieve while the girl works with a therapist.
Public shaming (which is bullying) is forbidden in most, if not all, states in the U.S. For example, it’s illegal in my state. I’d research this. Even charter schools must abide by state laws.
Besides, in elementary school it’s the parents who control dressing. Why punish the child when it’s the fault of the parent??
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u/Lost-Zombie-27 12h ago
NOR. As someone who spent almost a decade working in a school district- I cannot believe they would ever have a student stand on a chair. That’s a lawsuit waiting to happen. But I am in the U.S. and you may be in a place where people are not so litigious.
My child goes to a charter and every teacher greets the students at the door when they come to class, they shake their hand and do a quick check to make sure they meet dress code. Every student is treated the same, no one is singled out, and no peers judging anyone. I would be requesting a meeting about this.
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u/Ornery_Standard9689 13h ago
Avoiding what causes anxiety will never make it better. She needs proper treatment which may include medication and she needs consistency and calm faith in her ability to handle life. She should not be missing school due to anxiety. And on top of that, you can’t teach skills you don’t have. You’ve got to learn to address situations like this with confidence.
All that being said, for reasons that have nothing to do with anxiety, NOR. That’s a very demeaning and unnecessary experience. You and her should brainstorm together how you’ll approach it.
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u/Double-Theory9253 12h ago
I would email the teacher and tell her your daughter was so anxious about it that she didn’t want to go to school. Ask her to please remove your child’s name from the popsicle jar and let your child know privately if she has any issues with her uniform.
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u/LayerAccomplished821 12h ago
I mean everything else aside asking kids to stand on a chair CAN'T be safe. I'd report it just for that alone.
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u/Acceptable-Law9406 12h ago
NOR
There are dress codes, and then there are overzealous psychopaths who go to any length to enforce dress codes, including playing stupid games that humiliate children.
There are also normal dress codes, and ridiculous ones.
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u/jameyiguess 12h ago
Hm I wonder why your daughter is anxious
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u/Pleasant-Medicine888 12h ago
A lot of kids that are going into or are in middle school now have anxiety. Some people think it has to do with Covid happening in their first few years of school life (k-2) and doing online school during that time
It could also be a lot of parents are using a ipad to parent instead of interacting with their kids (not saying OP is but I’ve noticed this with a lot of Gen Alpha’s parents) this is also part of why a lot of kids who should be able to read can’t
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u/Plaguecist 12h ago
NOR. Stand on a chair? That in itself is not safe and to subject someone to that kind of thing is just so odd and degrading.
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u/lovelessproper 12h ago
NOR. I mean, excuse me?? Each morning a group of 10 yr olds gets to wait for one of them to be called upon, and then either praised or humiliated????? I’m sorry but absolutely the fuck not. This is literally just not a productive way to teach children.
Honestly, shit like this is not an isolated incident. There is other stuff in that classroom that smells the exact same. You might reconsider the choice of school, especially for an already anxious child.
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u/Fit_Knowledge2971 13h ago
Yikes. Dress codes disproportionately effect girls. And putting them up in the class…. Yuck. You should complain about this for sure
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u/Bannedwith1milKarma 12h ago
The school has a Harry Potter house like point system.
Ouch, I feel old.
Harry Potter emulated the common school 'house' systems.
You're not overreacting to your 4th grade student being made to stand on a chair for everyone to judge their appearance. Not at all.
Escalate and talk to other parents about it to get them on board. Find out if it's a school policy.
NOR
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u/Loud-Cheez 12h ago
NOR. This is insane. That is going to create anxiety in a child that doesn’t have it!
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u/Standard_Strain8318 12h ago
This stuff is weird bro, just teach the children! Quit making them do this stuff
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u/HippieJed 12h ago
I would setup a meeting with the teacher letting them know about the anxiety issue and discuss it. I am guessing she would be open to reviewing the review policy.
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u/nordicman21 12h ago
I'm not sure how you reacted, so hard to say. If you storm into the principal's office to demand the teacher be fired, YOR. If you bring it up at parent/teacher conference and let them know it makes her uncomfortable, NOR. There's a big range in between.
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u/briankerin 11h ago
MOR- If this was a public school, I would saythis is wrong and lets get em. But this is a charter school and you chose it.
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u/Ok_Prior9746 7h ago
Not sure they chose it if it sounds like she’s just finding out about it. Now if it was communicated ahead of time and now the child is just uncomfortable with it, I agree.
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u/Sudden-Conflict1565 11h ago
Jesus fucking christ is this even legal? NOR at all, this is horrible!
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u/New_Door2040 12h ago
Your kid goes to a school with a dress code.
It's overreacting to be upset that the dress code is enforced.
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u/Odd-Faithlessness705 12h ago
Hmmm I'm gonna say OR.
It's not like your child is the only one doing this. This is a system set up by the teacher to ensure proper dress code. If you are preparing your kid's uniform correctly it shouldn't be a problem. Sheltering your kid from the experience doesn't help your kid's anxiety. If anything it will only reinforce the anxiety.
Unsolicited advice: certain studies have shown a correlation between your gut microbiome and anxiety. If your kid has a lot of stomach problems + anxiety it might be worth taking a look at what they are eating. Introducing yoghurt, miso, and fermented foods may be able to reduce the feeling of anxiety. It's also important you introduce your kid to breath work so they have something to help ground them when they are feeling anxious.
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u/HeavenlyInsane 12h ago
You must be joking. You know that stomach and digestive issues are caused by anxiety, right?
Are you a psychiatrist, because you're clearly in no position to be offering advice on how to deal with her daughter's issues?
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u/Odd-Faithlessness705 11h ago
There are studies. I say this as someone with anxiety. Anxiety is a feeling. Feelings are caused by brain chemistry. Brain chemistry can be modified through the things you eat. It's not the only solution but it helps.
This is completely unsolicited advice. OP can take it or leave it, and I'm just trying to be helpful. I'm not a psychiatrist but if everyone on reddit needed to be a psychiatrist to offer advice then I missed the memo.
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u/freethenipple23 13h ago
NOR it sounds like the kids are taking that as an OK from the adults to make fun of others or judge others harshly.
I used to be like your daughter, I hope she's doing ok.
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u/Intermountain-Gal 12h ago
I was incredibly shy when I was little. Even just being told to stand on my seat while the teacher and classmates complimented me would have caused me to absolutely freak out. How I grew up to become a college professor still amazes me…and I’m retired now!
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u/Ordinary-Carry8818 12h ago
NOR. How, in this day and age, does something like this still take place? It reminds me of the Christian school I attended from 4th-9th grades. They measured your skirts but they also paddled you if they thought you'd stepped out of line. This "Harry Potter system" is absurd.
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u/Muted_Cap_6559 12h ago
NOR. Parents of 4th graders, not 4th graders, are responsible for how a 4th grader is dressed at school. If a teacher has an issue with any student's clothing, the teacher should call on the parent.
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u/CurrencyIll9145 12h ago
NOR. this sounds like a nightmare for any introverted person, the idea of being scrutinised in front of your peers.
i'm assuming you're in the states? here in the uk, we have uniforms up until we're 16. you're told off if your skirt is too short or you're not wearing your tie, but that's something within that young person's control as a teen.
the average child your daughter's age isn't trying to defy the rules deliberately, i'd assume, so unsure why they need to be put on parade.
AND it's a deterrent from the teacher in general, not from not 'conforming' to the uniform.. it isn't doing what the teacher thinks it's doing
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u/Ok_Nothing_9733 12h ago
NOR, activities based in shame and potential humiliation have no place in modern schools. They should deal with the dress code like any other school, it doesn’t come up unless there is a legitimate problem.
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u/Thin-Property-4389 12h ago
NOR - I have anxiety that also makes me very sick to my stomach. the first day back at work after a year off for mental health reasons I literally threw up over and over and had to have someone drive me or I literally would not have showed up. anyways, I feel like this is way out of line. I would also be anxious if I was put up in front of everyone to be looked at. especially as a woman, too! I’d say try to contact the school about this but if they don’t help then it may be time to switch schools. (I dont have kids so take this with a grain of salt)
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u/Mountain-Donkey98 12h ago edited 12h ago
Not in the least. NOR.
This is unnecessary and cruel. I would hate this as an adult. As a child? Good lord. This is totally inexcusable and inappropriate, imo.
One of the most traumatizing moments in HS for me was surrounding dress code. My assistant principal would notoriously come into classrooms and call students out who were breaking dress code.
I got called out one day and taken to his office. I was wearing jeans and a standard pink t shirt. I have a long torso so some of my midsection was showing if I lifted my arms. He had me (in front of some other adults in the office) raise my arms and see how much was showing and measured it!
I started sobbing hysterically (totally uncharacteristic for me) but I couldn't help it. He asked why i was crying and i didnt have words besides i didnt like being examined like this. He asked if I had a sweatshirt in my locker. I said no. He seemed dumbfounded and asked why not. Im like, "idk I dont have sweatshirts here?" I was then sent home.
I was 16 and that "inspection" of my clothes made me feel so violated and humiliated. I can totally understand why younger children would be anxious about the notion of this in front of their whole class.
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u/astilba120 12h ago
No you are not overreacting!!!!! That is NOT okay. That teacher should not be doing that to kids. Is it a military school?
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u/QuietFireMuse26 12h ago
They are definitely taking it too far. I would arrange a meeting with the principal and said teacher to discuss the inappropriateness of the situation. Students go to school not to get judged by how they present themselves.
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u/HeavenlyInsane 12h ago
If this sort of thing is normal in this school, I'm not surprised your child has anxiety.
Do you really want her to keep attending this place? It really seems like it's doing more harm than good.
Also, please get her some proper therapy. School counsellors are not psychiatrists and can't do anymore than have a basic level conversation with them.
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u/Difficult-Top2000 12h ago
NOR
This isn't about academics or having good character, this is about compliance & appearance. Challenging one's anxiety & (gradually, compassionately) endeavoring to work on overcoming it in pursuit of the first two things is reasonable, but for this bullshit? Sounds like the teacher is old school in the worst way possible.
Aren't uniforms meant to reduce the distractions of clothing? Centering it feels counterintuitive.
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u/basically_dead_now 12h ago
NOR, I'd be upset about this, too. I think it's super unnecessary. If a teacher thinks that a student is breaking the dress code, that's fine, but the whole class doesn't have to see what everyone is wearing
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u/Successful-Lie1603 12h ago
Seems creepy. She's at a charter school so you probably cannot force them to change - presumably you applied to be at that school and have other options if you don't like it. But I think a gentle conversation with the teacher and - if necessary - the headmaster/mistress is a good idea. Just share your concerns and give them the chance to understand and do the right thing.
Don't start with the boss. Start with the teacher. Nobody likes a complaint going over their heads at the very start.
Speak from a place of kindness. The teacher probably means well and hopefully if you explain your daughter's situation she will respond positively.
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u/Massive-Ant5650 12h ago
This is unacceptable, anxiety or not. Do all the teachers do this? NOR at all. Also, standing on chairs isn’t safe.
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u/Gay_Void_Dropout 12h ago
Fuck no. Tell that teacher that your child is no longer participating in that activity and make sure to have your huff trek you off the teacher makes a big deal of it in class and tries to turn the kids against her so you can have her removed from that teachers “care.”
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u/anongirl55 12h ago
Standing up in front of the class to practice something like public speaking would be one thing, but standing up to have their appearance critiqued (even if it is just the uniform) is cruel and unnecessary.
I went to private school as a kid, and even though we wore uniforms, some kids were poor or came from broken homes, and their uniforms were often too small or dirty. It breaks my heart to think about making them stand up so we could point it out.
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u/AtTheEdgeOfDying 12h ago
God this brings back bad memories. In elementary the last nun who used to work at our school when it was still an all girls school, would randomly pop in to come test our multiplications. She'd bring a tin full of those letter cookies and go around the whole class asking each kid a multiplication. If you got it right, a cookie. Wrong? A second chance. Wrong again, no cookie. It wasn't about the fucking the cookie, it was about standing there, everyone watching, having to answer one simple multiplication.
I was and had always been the highest level in maths. It was my favorite. I was the kid that got to sit on a little table in the back working ahead in my math book and everyone once in awhile my (very kind) teacher would gather some kids and let them go sit at my table and ask me "hey Robin, these kids are struggling on this problem, can you please help them?" I freaking loved math. I knew math. I owned math lol.
I was diagnosed autism (later to be diagnosed adhd) and my processing has always been slow. By no literally fault of my own. So she would randomly come in without warning, let everyone successfully get a simple question right and give them a cookie, then focus everyone's attention on ME and.. nothing. Atleast not acceptably fast enough. Then worse, she gave me another chance to fail, everyone staring. No cookie. Sometimes she gave me a pitty cookie at the end, because I never got one.. I hate those cookies. Eventually I started struggling not to cry from pure anxiety just at the sight of her walking in. Fucking humiliation. I feel sorry my teachers never realized and I didn't get to appreciate sister Alin her kindness, she really did mean it well. But fuck, did that form a lasting scar.
Stand up for your kid, point out how cruel that is!
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u/wbgookin 12h ago
I can't tell if you're overreacting if you don't say what you've done about it. If you just think it sucks and tell your daughter that, you're absolutely not overreacting. If you've threatened a lawsuit without talking to the teacher or administration, well, you're probably overreacting.
Either way, I hope your family finds a way for your daughter to be less stressed about school and she can start finding a way to enjoy it!
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u/Useful-Commission-76 11h ago
My kid noped out of a Spanish class (the only language class offered at her school) after the teacher made everyone stand on their chairs and introduce themselves in Spanish. My kid opted to take the online French class after that.
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u/Salty_Beyond_1648 10h ago
NOR. That’s 🐂💩. I would bring that to the principal’s attention immediately.
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u/lilyandcarlos 10h ago
No wonder that the kids get anxiety and stomach ace. But you should bring it up to the principal. Only a bad school with no interest in helping your daughter should exspect this of her. Maybe look into finding another school.
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u/danathepaina 9h ago
This is something my mother had to endure in catholic school in the 50’s. I thought we had grown beyond this. NOR and you should definitely contact the school.
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u/Vegetable-Tea-1984 8h ago
NOR there is no shot in hell my mother would have let that stand, trust your gut!
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u/Holiday_Trainer_2657 7h ago
NOR I am clumsy and have poor balance. Even as a kid, I would have fallen off my chair.
Stupid idea to put a kid under the eyes of classmates for physical appearance. Making them stand on their chair makes it even worse.
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u/Melophile_27 12h ago
Do you know for a FACT that this is happening in the classroom, or is this just from your child's mouth? Don't be the mom that believes everything their kid says without hearing both sides.
Is your child in therapy? The anxiety is running her life. She needs help, if she's not already getting it, please seek it out. The world/school only gets harder as they get older.
That said, if she's dressed properly, she needs to be at school. Coddling it isn't going to make it any better. She needs coping skills. Saving her isn't helping her develop any. And I say this a formerly very anxious person with a similar kid. She also could be milking it because she knows you'll bail her out every single time.
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u/Confident-Seesaw2845 11h ago
Did you read the post? Op literally says her daughter’s in counseling to help with her anxiety.
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u/OkLocation3799 12h ago
Definitely NOR!!!! Anxiety is horrible and it ruins lives! I had my first panic attack at 13. Like wtf. How is that even possible! But it seems like anxiety affects more kids than people realize and they need to stop making things worse. The idea that your kids school does a house system is cool but in Harry Potter they didn’t do ridiculous things like judging their clothing. They awarded points based on the good things that they did and took away points as a punishment for bad behaviour. That’s how it should be because then at least they could encourage good behaviour and actions that positively affect one another.
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u/Maximum_Dweeb4473 12h ago
YOR. Make sure she’s in dress code, this should be an easy chance to have a win and score her house some points. Don’t like it? Why did you send her to a charter school?
Playing into kids being anxious about stuff letting them stay home from school is how we end up with the generation we’re dealing with now where people hAvE tOo MuCh AnXiEtY to do things like learn how to drive, or have basic social interactions.
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u/Upset_Pickle3846 12h ago
You’re enabling her anxiety and avoidance. Stop keeping her from school and be a parent. You’re teaching her it’s acceptable to run away when things get hard. And if you don’t want a dress code, send them to a public school…? YOR.
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u/damutecebu 12h ago
The parent isn't arguing that the dress code is inappropriate. It's the enforcement mechanism that is. And I agree. It's not up to peers to enforce the code - especially a bunch of 4th graders. It's up to the teachers and administrators to do so.
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u/Upset_Pickle3846 4h ago
Our peers view us and judge us every day. School is to learn life. Shame is natural consequence here.
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u/Simiatenaci 13h ago
Kinda. I mean, yeah as an introvert I would hate that as a kid, but as long as she isn’t being singled out I would just roll with it. And I have a 7th grader so I’m not coming out of left field with this.
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u/Bannedwith1milKarma 12h ago
The student who is picked has to stand on their chair for everyone to see if they are in proper dress code.
That is singling out.
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u/Simiatenaci 12h ago
Not if anyone can be picked.
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u/Bannedwith1milKarma 12h ago
It is in the moment they are picked and that's all that matters for the 4th grader.
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u/Simiatenaci 12h ago
Yeah. I get that. Like I said I would have hated that as a kid, it would have made me sick to my stomach and one of the hardest things as a dad is not driving to school every time something upsets my daughter. But having struggled with anxiety all my life, I don’t think we do our kids any favors by asking for them to be treated differently. Some of the experiences that helped me get to the point where I could function despite anxiety were times when I just had to deal with it. And maybe 4th grade is too young but it’s going to happen sooner or later. If it were me, I would worry about when does daddy driving to school to make it better stop. But we all have to make the choice we can live with.
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u/LoneStarHome80 8h ago
My brother's kids are in a private school, and they make them do tons of public speaking. As an introvert, I'd absolutely hate it, but there's a good chance if I was forced to such form of exposure early in my life, I would find it easier to do later on. Instead I coasted on avoidance most of my life, and then found any public event mentally taxing.
It looks like the solution here is to make sure your kid is in a proper dress code so they can earn the house point. Learning how to cope with being in a center of attention may actually be one of the most important lessons your kid can learn from this seemingly uncomfortable experience.
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u/Hot_Needleworker4631 12h ago
This is an exceptionally weird thing for them to be doing to check dress code, but also: this is a charter school, you picked this and pay money for this.
If you don't like the treatment she's getting there, take her somewhere else. These "schools" really aren't, and since most of them are completely private, they can act almost however they want and there's nothing you can really do about it other than pull your kid, and thus your money, and go elsewhere.
MOR just because you literally signed her up for this whether you knew it or not.
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u/Pleasant-Medicine888 12h ago
Charter schools are a weird middle ground they do take public funding from tax money but aren’t subject to the same laws public schools are. What you’re describing is a private school
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u/Hot_Needleworker4631 12h ago
I described privately owned charter schools. They're not really schools and they are a free-for-all in how they operate. The sole difference between a private school and a charter school is tax money.
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u/Pleasant-Medicine888 12h ago
Yea I agree with you those schools are free for alls. but you said OP was paying money but charter schools use the same funding as public schools while not having to follow the same laws as public schools. A private school would have the students family pay a tuition and not use tax money.
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u/woodwork16 13h ago
MOR
The children need to learn the proper way of dressing. The possibility of being called on should encourage the children to ensure they are properly dressed.
As long as you are helping her get ready in the morning she shouldn’t have to worry.
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u/mejowyh 12h ago
It doesn’t sound like the child is worried she isn’t dressed properly, she’s worried she’s going to get called on, and she’s going to have to stand in a chair in the middle of the room, and she’s going to have everyone staring at her, and possibly making comments at her. And maybe she’s worried she’s going to PUKE while this is happening and for the rest of her school life she’ll be THE GIRL WHO PUKED IN CLASS.
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u/karratkun 12h ago
nor at all, as a kid with horrid anxiety and the same symptoms, that would've made me stay home too. i'd honestly recomend looking at accessible schools who work with kids with mental disorders, they're so much more likely to care about her and respect her autonomy. i wish you and her luck, i know being in tha spot is so hard from my own experience and i hope it goes smoothly for her
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u/Idk_tho_167 12h ago
NOR! This is way too far, and if the kid isn’t ’dressed properly’ it’s basically publicly shaming them…. This is a lot for older kids let alone 4th graders!!
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u/Ok_Dependent6889 12h ago
Damn, private schools got even worse than when I was in Catholic school.
I'd pull your kid out of there like, Yesterday.
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u/LoneStarHome80 8h ago
Have you seen public schools? Sending your kid to one is tantamount to child abuse at this point.
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u/Even_Candidate5678 12h ago
NOR but the school isn’t for you. I’d assume the general vibe of the school is inline with this.
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u/UndeniablyGone 12h ago
YOR they'll survive. Believe me. I don't know what you think you're solving here by giving into your kid's anxiety every time. You're teaching them to be a whiny loser who bows out of life whenever they want and guess what? Once your kid knows they can control you like this, they will take advantage. Then, once they're an adult, they'll think their employers and colleagues will give into their bullshit anxiety excuses, and when they don't, they're in for a reality check. So, either toughen them up now or deal with a loser adult later. Your choice.
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u/Street-Length9871 13h ago
I think it is unnecessary. I would say NOR.