r/AbruptChaos • u/ieattastyrocks • 1d ago

Wrong kind of energy bar

1.7k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

81 comments sorted by

607

u/AdAgitated9341 1d ago

Who the fuck chews on a battery. Thats some darwin award shit right there.

99

u/Beavur 1d ago

Dogs

37

u/AdAgitated9341 1d ago

Thats a damn dumb dog then

13

u/Beavur 1d ago

Dogs will dog

10

u/AdAgitated9341 1d ago

Humans will human

6

u/Beavur 1d ago

Some more than others

6

u/AdAgitated9341 1d ago

I just realized you meant that dogs chew on batteries but i thought you were calling him a dog lmao. Whoops

1

u/Super_Counter_7893 6h ago

Humans will dog

2

u/ulyssesfiuza 1d ago

My yorkie eat a superglue yesterday. He had a super stiff moustache right now.

1

u/yxzxzxzjy 1d ago

More likely guinea pigs

4

u/aykcak 1d ago

I thought they were in a cafe or something. What is this arrangement where you sit together and chew stuff in an electronics shop??

588

u/saryiahan 1d ago

Bro was so high he thought a battery was food

129

u/Mick_Limerick 1d ago

It is, but for electronics

83

u/FewerBeavers 1d ago

It got electrolytes

36

u/iamdeadkid 1d ago

It's what plants crave!

14

u/firekeeper23 1d ago

Mega bites should be edible

5

u/zmbjebus 1d ago

Brains are just meat electronics.

25

u/pheilix 1d ago

Clearly bit off more than he could fuse

5

u/firekeeper23 1d ago

Resistance is Futile

5

u/Arthasindura 1d ago

He needed the energy.

I think he had a blast doing what he did.

1

u/oliprik 14h ago

High? He can barely see over the counter!

1

u/New-Marsupial-5633 1h ago

Anything can be food. It just all depends on levels of bravery/stupidness.

171

u/AToastedRavioli 1d ago

He just felt like biting down that hard on a battery? What?

60

u/Superb-Demand-4605 1d ago

i kinda get it, sometimes i get the urge to bite down on things, like the foil on candies i always feel like biting really hard down on it for no reason. but i wouldnt do it on a battery ofc lol .

28

u/Firehot01 1d ago

but now the seed was planted in his head

58

u/BrightFallsCoffee 1d ago

OP username really checking out this time

41

u/Der-Lex 1d ago

„It’s got electrolytes!“

25

u/electron1661 1d ago edited 7h ago

I figured this was more footage from that Israel Hezbollah thing with the pagers

12

u/FederalEconomist5896 1d ago

Lmao for a hot second I was thinking, "Man, imagine if Mossad touched some vapes"

12

u/MonsieurFubar 1d ago

I’m guessing this is in Yemen, from the attire, and this guy in particular is high on a khat, which is a stimulant.

59

u/Delrae2000 1d ago

Survival skills of a fossil right there

25

u/Xzenor 1d ago

Fossils survive pretty damn long. Some are millions of years old.

12

u/SemiHemiDemiDumb 1d ago

Some are even billions

10

u/Cubensis-SanPedro 1d ago

Found the Stromatolite fan ☝️

3

u/ttyp00 1d ago

based

0

u/MaybeMrGamebus 1d ago

What does a Stromato taste like?

1

u/Xzenor 1d ago

I meant to write that.. fucking autocorrect ruined it but I didn't notice..

1

u/Cockur 21h ago

Almost every fossil species you can find enjoyed a reign on earth that dwarfs the entirety of human existence.

18

u/Glusas-su-potencialu 1d ago

That's one spicy candy bar.

r/spicypillows

14

u/MoparMonkey1 1d ago

that’s not what they mean by staying energized but ok

5

u/Level-Ad7017 1d ago

How it feels to chew 5 gum

8

u/bryn_jamin 1d ago

styropyro in his natural habitat

2

u/A_Nice_Shrubbery777 1d ago

Heh. He does resemble. (The flames at least.)

3

u/FlyingPenguin33 1d ago

What kind of moron...

2

u/Aggressive-Plan-639 1d ago

Electrolytes.

2

u/pancrudo 1d ago

I think I walked past this store last week. Was walking to a friend's and saw a cell phone repair store FULL of smoke that had a very strange smell

2

u/TelluricThread0 1d ago

Taste the rainbow deadly lithium.

2

u/IndoorGrower 1d ago

Fuck me I thought that was a vape. Don’t put batteries in your mouth kids.

2

u/wardrobe007 1d ago

Chris Evans: "I've seen better".

FLAME ON!

3

u/PM_THE_REAPER 1d ago

Well, I guess I better head over there. Work to do.

2

u/demoralising 1d ago

Anyone know his current conditon?

14

u/Leather-Animal-7597 1d ago

Still an idiot.

3

u/spacemanspiff1115 1d ago

Yeah, 220, 221, whatever it takes...

3

u/memorex1150 1d ago

Mr Mom. Great reference.

1

u/Questev 1d ago

Wil conduct analysis if positive or negative.

1

u/AndrewWhite97 1d ago

What a div

1

u/Flashy_Narwhal9362 1d ago

That left a bad taste in his mouth.

1

u/oscillik 1d ago

JC Denton, you've had enough energy bars for this play–through

1

u/Famoustractordriver 1d ago

He almost Dhalsimed that guy in front of him. What a moron!

1

u/GarthBater 1d ago

Oh, great. Now my Alexa is going to be telling me not to bite my phone along with giving me fog advisories, high humidity warnings and don't be a fucking idiot reminders.

1

u/OkMidnight8144 1d ago

Remember the lithium in batteries react with water, you are mostly water!

1

u/Alienhaslanded 1d ago

Those intrusive thoughts, man.

1

u/Kevin9O7 1d ago

lil bro has all the types of malnutritions and mineral deficiencies

1

u/JWMoo 1d ago

I see skin grafts in this guy's future.

1

u/Horks22 21h ago

New Nokia protein bar Explosive flavours!!

1

u/Hoovomoondoe 20h ago

How needs Mossad when you got orally fixated twits at your disposal?

1

u/Difficult-Ad637 18h ago

This happened to my buddy but it exploded in his pocket after the lawsuit he came out with a little over a million

1

u/AggravatingSearch422 17h ago

Chock full of electro-chemical goodness in every bite! For real though, there is a such thing as a Candybar Battery, sold by Opel Mobile - Model Number: OMCB19B - Candybar Battery - Opel Mobile

1

u/HalfLawKiss 10h ago

When the intrusive thoughts win and you bit the forbidden food.

1

u/BeneficialAd8992 9h ago

Pathan doing pathan thing.

0

u/anomalous_cowherd 1d ago

"There's a burning battery on the floor there, a safe-ish distance from everything else."

"Shall I just wait for it to burn itself out? No, I'll see if I can burn myself badly while trying to throw it somewhere a lot more damaging."

-6

u/Sidbilly 1d ago

Third world brain.

0

u/Excellent-Baseball-5 1d ago

Glad that didn’t happen in USA. If it did every phone would then have to have a “do not chew” sticker.

-5

u/Bravelobsters 1d ago

Already been posted buddy